Chapter Forty-Four Emma
Ididn’t expect to feel as weak and exhausted as I do.
After my parents took me back to their house from the hospital, I slept for the rest of the day and that night.
It was the rest that I desperately needed to catch up on, but the peaceful bliss of my slumber quickly fades away when I wake up and remember all that has happened in the past twenty-four hours.
Absolute chaos.
I breathe in slowly and deeply through my nose as I sit up in bed in my parents’ guest bedroom. My childhood bed is a little too small to be comfortable these days, and Mom was insistent that I get some good rest.
Heaviness fills my head, making me want to crash back down into the soft pillows, but I force myself to stay upright. As nice as it has been to sleep and recover from yesterday, I can’t stay in this bed forever.
I need to talk to the guys. I need to talk to my family.
Somehow, I’m even more stressed out than before.
A gentle knock on the door coaxes my eyes upward as Mom pokes her head inside. My throat grows tight as a relieved smile crosses her face.
“You’re awake,” Mom says as she walks into the room and sits on the bed next to me. She places her hand on my arm, giving me a light squeeze. “How are you feeling?”
I stare at her, trying to detect any disappointment in her features or anger in her voice. I don’t expect my parents to be as furious as my brothers, but I don’t expect them to be happy with my situation with the guys. They’ll probably just worry too much.
“Emma?” Mom says as she frowns in concern.
“I’m okay,” I tell her, my voice already threatening to shake.
Mom gives me a pointed look. “You don’t sound okay. You sound upset.”
My eyes immediately start stinging, crushing pressure settling on my chest. I don’t want to lose my family. I don’t want to lose the guys.
I want all of them in my life, but after how things went yesterday, I don’t even know if that’s possible.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“For what?” she asks, tilting her head at me.
I swallow hard, fighting back the tears that want to come pouring out. “For hiding so much from all of you. I was scared for you guys to find out.”
Mom’s face softens. “You shouldn’t ever feel scared to tell us anything. I know it seems like we expect a lot from you, but we just want you to be happy and comfortable where you’re at. We don’t want you to struggle like we did when we were your age.”
I know that I complain about the things that they say about my career. I know that I get defensive and cold. I just forget to look at things from their perspective.
A parent’s perspective.
I guess I’ll learn that personally soon.
“I’m happy with Josh, Max, and Ryan,” I whisper, my voice refusing to come out any stronger.
Mom lets out a soft sigh as she nods. “One of them is the father?”
“Yes,” I say, feeling my face warm up. “We didn’t plan any of this to happen, but I’m glad it did. You know them. They’re good guys.”
“They are,” she agrees. “I just never expected anything to happen between you and them.”
“We didn’t expect it either, but it happened,” I tell her, my tears welling up in the bottom of my eyes. “I fell in love with them.”
Mom’s eyes widen. “Really?”
My tears finally spill, tumbling down my cheeks as my breath catches in my chest. “I know it’s not what you and Dad and Andrew and Ethan pictured for me, but I want this. I want them. I want the family that we could be together.”
Mom takes my hand. “I’m worried that you’ll get your heart broken, honey.”
“Any relationship is risky,” I remind her. “But I trust them. They want nothing but the best for me and the baby, and I don’t want anything else but them.”
A small smile crosses Mom’s face. “Well, I know that when you want something, you’re relentless when it comes to getting it.”
Warmth fills me as I nod. “I know Andrew and Ethan aren’t happy, but this is my life. Even if it’s jarring and unexpected, I want you all to at least respect my feelings for them and know that they have been nothing but wonderful to me.”
Mom squeezes my hand. “They were really worried about you at the hospital. They really cared.”
“I don’t know for sure, but I think they love me too,” I tell her as more tears flee from my watery eyes. I want to believe that they feel the same way or that they could grow to love me over time.
But I’m already there.
I love them. All of them.
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Mom replies with a soft smile.
“You’re not upset with me? Or disappointed with me?” I ask her, my voice threatening to crack.
Mom shakes her head. “I could never be disappointed with you, Emma. Maybe I would do some things differently, but I’m still proud of you.
You love what you do. You have found people who care about you.
You’re about to have your own little family.
How could I not be happy for you? As long as you take care of yourself. ”
My bottom lip trembles as another wave of emotion crashes down on me.
Mom pulls me into a tight hug, rubbing my back as my tears soak into her shirt. “Don’t be upset, honey. I promise I’m not mad. I’ll support you no matter what.
I grasp at her like I did when I was a child, desperate for her comfort and love. She always gave them to me when I needed them. “And Dad?”
“He just wants you to be happy and safe,” Mom replies. “We know the guys are good people. They grew up with your brothers.”
My brothers.
The thought of them makes my stomach twist nervously. They said such awful things to the guys back at the hospital. What if they scare off my guys? The fathers of my child!
“I need to talk to Andrew and Ethan,” I tell her as we break free from each other. “I know they’re furious.”
“They’re not mad at you,” Mom says.
“I can’t have them hating the guys,” I reply with a shake of my head. “I need them to understand what they refuse to accept.”
Mom nods after a moment and pats my knee. “I’ll go get them for you.”
“Thank you,” I tell her with pure gratitude in my eyes. This conversation could’ve gone so much differently. She could’ve scolded me for my choices or been too disappointed to even look at me.
Instead, she chose to support me and love me. I need that now more than ever before because the road ahead is bumpy and full of twists and turns. I have no idea what’s around the corner.
“I’m going to be a grandma,” Mom says with a cheerful smile. “I can’t wait!”
A soft laugh breaks from me as I watch her stand and walk out of the room with a spring in her step. She’ll be the best grandma. I have no doubt about that.
After a few minutes pass by, the door to the bedroom opens again, and Andrew and Ethan walk inside.
“Heard you wanted to talk to us,” Ethan says as he shuts the door behind him.
“First, how are you feeling?” Andrew asks as he moves to my bedside to inspect me. He grabs my wrist and holds his fingertips over my pulse point. “Your heart is racing.”
“Because I need to talk to you guys,” I reply, knowing that they’re going to push back against what I say. “I need to see Josh, Max, and Ryan.”
Andrew shakes his head as he releases my wrist. “That’s not a good idea, Emma. They’re not good for you.”
“Why? Give me one good reason,” I question him, my words punching out more aggressively than I intend.
“They’re older than you, and they grew up with us. It’s inappropriate,” Ethan says.
I scoff at his weak excuse, my tears drying up on my cheeks. “The biggest age difference is seven years, and I’m an adult! I can decide what is and isn’t an appropriate relationship for me.”
Ethan’s jaw tenses. “I don’t believe you’re thinking about this clearly. This crush that you have on them is going to fade, and you’ll be left with the consequences of that all by yourself. Do you really think they’ll stick around?”
I blink at him. “You’re calling my baby a consequence?”
“You know what he meant,” Andrew sighs as he rubs his temple. “The baby was unplanned. This whole relationship you have with them was thrown together. None of this is built on a steady foundation. It’ll crumble, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”
My eyes dart back and forth between them. I can hear the genuine care and concern in their voices, but their logic and reasoning are all wrong. They don’t apply to the true situation that they refuse to accept.
“There is no stronger foundation than love and trust,” I tell them. “I love them, and I trust them. They will stick around for the baby. They will support me and care about me no matter what.”
“How are you so sure? You haven’t known them as long as we have,” Ethan points out.
“But I know them better. Deeper,” I reply. “They are not some rich playboys. They are complex, genuine men who want what I want. A happy family. A full life. I’ll only get those things with them. I’ll only be truly happy with them.”
Andrew frowns and looks away from me. “It’s risky, Emma. It would be easier if you found someone else.”
“I don’t want easier,” I tell him. “I want what’s right for me. This is right for me. You can’t stand there and say that they’re not good people. That they don’t care about those they love.”
Andrew glances at Ethan, who remains quiet. Both of their expressions are clouded with uncertainty. “We just want to protect you. We’ve dealt with your toxic ex-boyfriends. Ex-friends. Random punks who decided they wanted to be too touchy or too inappropriate.”
I give him a small smile and nod. “I know, but these guys have been friends with you for so long for a reason. They’re good. They’re kind and generous. They care about you, and they also care about me too.”
“They lied to us for weeks,” Ethan says.
“So did I. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you,” I tell him. “They were just as scared as me to tell you guys the truth because we know how you are. I appreciate how protective you are of me, but I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re a grown adult, which makes us old,” Andrew sighs with a dash of amusement in his eyes.
The corner of my mouth turns up. “It means I will make my own decisions, and I can look out for myself. Please, try to forgive them. Try to see how happy we are together. How they’ll be wonderful fathers.”
Andrew glances at Ethan, who gives him a subtle nod.
“We’ll think about it,” Ethan replies before walking over to me and kissing the top of my head. “You should get some rest.”
“You haven’t scared them off, right?” I ask them.
“Physically, we might have like an hour ago,” Andrew admits, making my face pale. “I’ll reach out to them after I have some time to think, okay?”
Panic pounds throughout my chest, but I force myself to breathe and nod, not wanting him to change his mind. The guys need to talk to my brothers and have a productive conversation.
I want all of them in my life, which means some forgiving needs to be done before it’s too late. Before bridges are burned and friendships are lost.
“Mom is cooking you something to eat,” Andrew tells me as he leans down to give me a brief hug. “Rest.”
I watch them both leave the room, my stomach twisting and turning. My eyes dart around, searching for my phone and coming up with nothing. It’s probably still at my apartment.
With a weak groan, I flop back down onto the pillows, my hands covering my face. I’ve pleaded my case. I’ve expressed what’s in my heart.
Things feel like they’re out of my hands right now, and all I can hope is that the guys and my brothers can work things out and come together again like the family that they’ve always been.
But the damage from this situation runs deep, and it won’t be easy to fix.
Not without a miracle.