Chapter 3
Chubs
I successfully avoid the two Feds that have been dying to corner me for a few more days before my luck runs out. Walking out the back door of a favorite diner of mine, I’m suddenly faced with both of them, and their impatience radiates off of them in waves.
“Hey, guys. Why the long faces?” I joke as I angle myself to brush past them.
“You’re coming with us today. Let’s make this easy on everyone—” the agent I refer to as Mole Face starts to say before I interrupt him.
“Got a warrant?” I ask with a laugh because I know they don’t.
“We’re done playing this by the rulebook, Brock. Get in the car,” agent number two, or Pig Ass as I call him, states in a demanding tone.
“Rulebook?” I question sarcastically as I plant my shoulder against Pig Ass’s with enough force to make him take a step backward. “No one’s ever told me you guys follow rules. What page of your rulebook says it’s standard procedure to use force, blackmail, and threats to get someone to do what you want them to?”
“This doesn’t have to get ugly, Brock,” Mole Face barks while reaching for my wrist.
“I disagree,” I state as I plant both hands on his chest and shove hard. “I like ugly.”
As I finish my words, I swing out with a booted foot and crash it into the side of his knee, dropping him like a stone. Turning swiftly, I pop a few right hooks into Pig’s chin before finishing with a left. My blows rock him, but he stays standing. While we square off, Mole rejoins the fight from the ground and wraps his arms around my legs, throwing me off balance. Pig takes advantage and tackles me. I slam hard onto the cement, with his stout body landing on mine.
“What the fuck’s going on?” a male voice shouts at the same time I start throwing elbows into the agents.
“They’re trying to rob me,” I grunt out, lying through my teeth and not caring in the least.
Asa, the cook of the restaurant I just walked out of, comes to my defense. Young guy, somewhat heavyset, he uses his feet with wicked intent. I almost grin when I hear the pained gasps and exclamations of the agents when his feet meet with vulnerable places. Fighting my way to standing, I take a step to stand near Asa.
“We’re federal agents!” shouts Pig Ass as he rolls away, desperate to avoid any more boot marks on his hide.
“Only thing I hate worse than a thief is a Fed,” Asa growls back as he continues his assault, now with my help. I laugh a little at that comment as Asa renews his attack, proving how true it is.
After a few more well-placed kicks, the agents gain their feet and make tracks to their car. As they climb inside it, Mole shouts, “This isn’t over!”
“Come back for seconds anytime!” Asa returns, breathing heavy.
After the car leaves, I turn to Asa and place a hand on his shoulder.
“No way to thank—” I start before Asa cuts me off.
“No need to, Chubs. You’re good people, and my mom would disown me if she ever knew you were in trouble and I didn’t help. Glad I was here. I’m not going to ask any questions, but just know if there’s anything we can ever help you with, you know where to find us,” Asa says quietly but firmly before walking back inside.
Walking to my bike, I straddle it before strapping on my helmet. Time to get to the garage before Trigger comes into work. I’m not sure I’m up for another fight today and especially not with that tricky little bastard.
Opening the apartment door, I’m greeted with silence. Entering the bedroom, I strip out of my dirty clothes and head for the shower. After cleaning all the dust and grime off myself, I towel off first my hair, then my body. I pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before taking a seat in the living room and switching on the TV.
I’m somewhat nervous about Lucy coming home after the way I left last night. It was beyond wrong of me to walk out and spend the night alone at the clubhouse, but I just couldn’t tell her another lie. If I were smart, I’d do something to make her hate me so it wouldn’t hurt her so much when I leave. I’d push her away to make it less of a blow when I’m gone, but I’m too selfish. I don’t want to see the hurt that she’s going to go through because of me, and I don’t want to give up what little time we have left together. Those memories may have to last me a lifetime if I’m still standing at the end.
Hearing the door open behind me, I brace. I listen to the familiar sounds of Lucy kicking off her shoes and hanging her purse on the hook behind the door. When she walks past my chair on her way to the bedroom, my heart drops a little in my chest. Lucy never walks past me without touching my shoulder or running her fingers through my hair. She also never forgets to give me a kiss and to greet me after being apart. She’s hurt and most likely mad at my leaving last night. I deserve it, though.
I stay put in my chair as Lucy closes the bedroom door softly, and before long, I hear the shower running. Normally, I’d join her, but her shutting the door was a clear sign that I’m not wanted. I respect her wishes and continue waiting. A few minutes after the shower shuts off, Lucy emerges from the bedroom. She’s wearing her sleep t-shirt and shorts with the puppies on them and is combing out her wet hair. I maintain my silence but continue to watch her every move. Taking a seat on the loveseat, she finally meets my eyes and speaks in a low but serious tone.
“No matter what’s hiding in your past, nothing can make me stop loving you. If you need to fix something, I’m here to help if you want or need it. I can deal with anything as long as I know I have you. If you need me to quit asking about things, I can do that too. What I can’t do is continue being lied to. I need you to understand that all I’m asking for is to have you in my life, no more lies, and please, Chubs, no more walking out and leaving me alone like last night. That hurt more than anything. I’m not asking you to tell me all your secrets if you don’t want to. If I ask something that you don’t want to answer, then say that, but please don’t lie to me. If you can do those few things, I’ll always be yours for as long as you want me. If you can’t, I need you to tell me that now.”
Thinking over her words, I know I’m cornered. Lose her tonight or in the very near future. Either way, I’m still going to be lying to her. There’s only so much I can say to her, but in the end, it’s all going to hurt her.
“I love you more than anything in this world, Lucy. Nothing compares to how I feel about you. I can’t, won’t, talk about my past or family, though. That’s for your safety and theirs. Under no circumstances do I want you to help in any way with this thing with the Feds. That’s why I haven’t talked about why they’re coming at me after all these years. I don’t want you to get involved. I need you to stay out of that. You nearly died the last time you tried to save me, and I can’t ever go through that again. Promise me you won’t get involved,” I insist.
“Promise me that after they leave, we’re going to start on our plans for our wedding, family, and house,” she returns with a raised eyebrow.
“I need that promise,” I insist while trying to dodge her demand.
“So do I,” she responds with a slight tilt of her head.
Thinking over her words, I reply carefully, “The Feds are only a part of the problem. I have other issues that have to be resolved before I can make that promise.”
“So, you talking about buying the land from Vex and making plans about building a home there was what? A half-lie to me? An attempt to placate me or give me the impression you’re not working on an exit plan?” Lucy asks with a bite to her voice.
I groan miserably and rub my hands down my face. Taking a deep breath, I answer the best I can.
“Not completely. I want a home with you so much that sometimes I forget that I have other obligations too. I get ahead of myself, and it’s not fair to you. You have every right to be upset and concerned about what’s happening with me, with us. I have lied to you, to everyone, but I haven’t felt like I had a choice. I’m sorry for that, but I can’t change it either. I don’t want to lie to you again, so no, I can’t give you that promise. I’m sorry.”
Lucy stays silent for so long I start to think she’s done talking. Staring deep into my eyes, I see the flicker of pain in hers before she masks it. Standing, she walks into the bedroom, and I slump in my chair, feeling defeated. Moments later, Lucy reappears, but instead of holding the brush, she’s dressed again and pulling her suitcase behind her. Sitting upright in alarm, I open my mouth to speak when her empty hand shoots into the air, palm facing me. I close my mouth and wait for the world to fall out beneath me.
“I’ve tried to be understanding and supportive. I’ve waited, hoping whatever was wrong would resolve itself, and we could go back to being Lucy and Chubs. It’s apparent that’s not going to happen anytime soon. I’m going to make this easy for you, Chubs. I’ll stay with my family until we leave on our trip. That way, you won’t have to feel the need to lie again. I won’t call or text you while we’re gone, and that should give you enough time to rethink that promise. When I get back, we can talk again. If you decide you don’t want to fix this, I’ll pick up my things and get gone.”
With those words, without a hug or kiss goodbye, Lucy walks out, and the world disappears beneath me.