Chapter 2
Lucy
Pippa and I work on the grant applications for a few hours before she gets called away. While she left to help with an intake, I continued filling out the applications. Any grant money would help, but a few of the ones we applied for today would provide a steady influx of funds for several years. They’re so important that I take the time to double, then triple-check them for errors. When they’re perfect, I close my laptop and stretch the kinks out of my back and neck.
Walking into the kitchen for a drink, I see a couple of the residents making sandwiches. Scooting around them, I open the fridge, grab a Coke before heading back out the door. As I exit the kitchen, I hear a loud bang, a few curse words, a mumbled, “dang it, Lucy,” but I don’t bother looking back. Taking my drink, I walk out the back door and take a seat next to the patio table. One sip of my Coke, and my phone rings.
“Hey, Daddy. What’s up?” I say, answering my phone with a smile.
I love my dad, and I’m a proud daddy’s girl. I make no excuses for that.
“Hello, Lucy. Just calling to make sure you’re ready for our trip. Is there anything you need for it yet?”
“I’m going through my clothes tonight, but if I need anything, it won’t be much. I’ll have time tomorrow to get whatever else I might need,” I answer, already knowing what he’s going to say next.
“Use my credit card and get anything you think you’d like. Lisa did her shopping a few days ago with your mom,” Dad says.
“Dad, I don’t need to use your card, you know. I do have money of my own,” I reply, stating the words he’s heard a thousand times.
“I know that, honey, but you’re going to need clothes for a few formal events, and those are because of me,” Dad responds with a sigh.
He knows how much I hate the formal events but love him enough to support him regardless. He hates me spending my own money on clothes for those things and always tries to insist on paying.
“Will you feel less guilty if I spend your money then?” I ask with a small laugh.
“Yes, definitely, and go wild if you want to,” the Governor of Colorado answers with a relieved laugh.
“Okay, Dad. I’ll do my best to spend your money tomorrow and make you proud.”
“You always make me proud, Lucy. Love you,” Dad says in a sincere voice.
“Love you too, Dad,” I answer before disconnecting our call.
Looks like I’m going formal clothes shopping tomorrow, even though I’d rather do nearly anything else. Asking Tammy, Trigger’s woman, to go with me will ensure that I end up dressed in a stylish, elegant manner with minimal fuss. Taking another sip of my Coke, I stand and go searching for Tammy to ask for her help.
“Did you get everything you needed?” Chubs asks while licking his fingers clean of brownie crumbs.
“Everything and a few extras. Taking Tammy with me was brilliant. Even my dad was impressed with how much damage she did to his credit card in a few short hours. Mom and Lisa asked if she would go with them next time,” I answer with a laugh.
“Tammy’s good people. Perfect for Trigger too, but I wonder if she knows he literally buries money and gold coins everywhere,” Chubs says absently.
“He still does that? I thought that was just something he did for a while after he started getting regular paychecks.”
“Still does it. Said he grew up with nothing, often going hungry, and promised himself he’d never be broke again. He’s a man of his word because he has stashed emergency cash everywhere,” Chubs answers with a wide grin.
Being an accountant, my mind flashes to all the money he’s not making by hiding instead of investing.
“And before you ask, yes, Bailey is aware and got him to agree to invest more and hide less. She even got him to write out a description of all the various places he’s hidden money and add it to his will. Everyone has their own quirks, and money is Trigger’s,” Chubs says with a snort.
This is very true, so I move on to a different subject.
“Have the Feds hassled you lately?” I ask, knowing I’m encroaching on a touchy subject.
“Let’s not ruin our quiet time with talk of them. They don’t matter,” Chubs requests quietly.
I take a seat at the table next to him and place my hand on his forearm. I wait patiently, silently, until he sighs and meets my eyes.
“You are my entire world. My heart, my soulmate. You know this, and I know it’s returned to me tenfold, Chubs. I’ve sat back, letting you handle them as you chose because you asked me to. Because I trust you and the promises you’ve made to me. I’ll stand beside or behind you, whichever you need, but please remember that at some point, we need to move forward with our lives. The life we decided together we want to share. Our wedding, building our home, starting a family. I know you love me, but I also know you’re still keeping things from me. I hate that whatever happened in your past is now affecting our future, and you don’t trust me enough to let me in.”
My heart breaks a little when I feel him flinch at my words, but he’s the one being stubborn. I love this man, but I’m at my wit’s end with all the secrets. He’s erecting a wall between us when a little honesty is all that’s needed instead. When he doesn’t respond, I sigh in defeat. Getting to my feet, I walk to the bedroom and quietly shut the door behind me. Feelings hurt, anger rising, I choose to shut him off from me before I say things I might later regret. Starting to sort through my clothes, my tears threaten to fall when I hear him leave the apartment. They fall unchecked when I wake in the morning to see that he never returned.
Knowing there’re big things going on with the club, I decided to hang with Bailey at the gym today. I don’t text or call Chubs, and I don’t receive any either. Cash is working when I enter the gym, and I return his chin lift before entering the office. I set my laptop and purse in a chair then flop down on the couch.
“Hey, Lucy. You okay?” Bailey asks with concern, looking up from her seat at the desk.
“Yeah,” I answer unconvincingly.
“No offense, girlfriend, but you don’t look it.”
“Men,” I say, knowing that will explain everything in one word.
“Ahh, I see. Do I need to call the other Ol’ Ladies and plan an ass-whooping party for Chubs?” Bailey questions with a smile and one hand picking up her cell phone.
“Not yet, but keep your phone close.”
“You want to talk, honey?” Bailey asks in a soft voice.
“No, but thanks. I want to break or punch things. I want to destroy something. Is that Candy lady still coming around? Maybe she’ll get in the ring with me,” I answer, and even I can hear the violence in my voice.
“I love you too much to let you get in the ring with her. She’s kicked Axel and Pooh’s ass on many occasions, not counting the toy store, and you’re a third her size. If you’re feeling that suicidal, go for a ride with Tessie!” Bailey shouts before snorting a laugh.
The door opens, and Cash fills the doorway. Without a word, he points a finger at me and then the gym before walking out. I pull myself up and off the couch, shoot Bailey an evil grin, then follow the large biker.
Still not speaking, Cash turns to me and reaches for my hand. He starts wrapping tape around it, then the other, before sliding MMA-style gloves on each. He picks up the striking pads and walks to a corner of the gym before turning to face me.
“You’re not getting into a ring, ever, with Candy. I’ve been working with her, and she’s gotten deadly good. I’ve been doing that, mostly for my own amusement, for the day Axel pisses her off again, but also because it’s good for her. Besides, she likes you and the other women and would never hurt you,” Cash explains before lifting the pads for me to strike.
I start slowly, more of a warm-up period, while my brain slides from Chubs to my striking. Cash murmurs instructions and encouragement as I pick up my pace. After several minutes, sweat is coating my face, and my arms are tired and feeling heavy. When Cash finally drops his hands, I’m exhausted. Taking seats on the mats again, Cash starts removing my gloves and tape.
“Talk,” the Viking biker orders quietly.
“He won’t talk to me,” I answer immediately, knowing my fears are safe with Cash.
“He won’t talk to any of us. Why’s that got you so twisted today?” Cash asks. “Something different?”
“Just a feeling I’ve had for a few weeks now. I’m not sure I can explain it, but my gut is telling me that something big is coming,” I respond in whispered frustration. “Making it worse, I’m leaving town with my parents and sister. Not sure what might happen while I’m gone or what I’ll come home to.”
Cash stays silent for a few beats before speaking again.
“No matter what happens with Chubs, no matter what’s got his head so fucked up, no matter what decisions he may make, you are not alone in this. You have us. Me, Livi, Axel, Bailey. The whole club has got you, Lucy. Anything you need, anytime, you call, and I’ll be there. I know we’re a poor substitution for him, but you and I will deal with whatever happens. I feel it too with Chubs. Something’s changed, but I have no clue what it is, either. We’ll figure this out. As friends, as family, as a club. Yeah?”
Sincerity and frustration equally lace his words and roll off his body. The only thing about this conversation that’s surprising to me is how many words this quiet biker has spoken. Cash isn’t big on using words, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel deeply about things. Wrapping a thickly muscled arm around my shoulders, I let him tug me close.
“Yeah, Cash. Thanks for today. I needed to hit things,” I say while pulling back enough to look up at his face.
“You keep working on your striking, and I’ll be turning you loose on Axel’s ass soon,” he jokes as he stands, pulling me to my feet beside him.
When his phone buzzes, I give him a quick hug then turn for the showers.
Walking into Axel and Bailey’s house later that evening, I head toward the kitchen. Dropping our take-out meal on the table, I turn in time for little Alex to crash into my legs. Bending, I scoop her into my arms, place her on my hip, and land a loud smooch on her forehead. Giggling, her little hands land on each side of my face before she squeals excitedly, “Auntie Lucy!”
“Hello, my beautiful girl! I’ve missed you!” I say to her sweet face.
“Missed you too!”
“Where’s Mommy?” I ask.
“Mommy’s in the cwoset. Cwalset. Where the clothes are. She’s saying swears a lot,” she answers in a whisper like she’s telling me a secret.
“Okay then. Umm, why is she swearing? Is she locked in there?” I ask as I set Alex on her feet and start toward the bedroom, somewhat alarmed.
“Cuz Daddy’s a pig,” Alex responds in a serious tone.
“Hey, Lucy. And yes, it’s because Alex’s daddy is a pig. Oink oink,” Bailey states, flashing Alex a wink and a smile as she enters the room. “That man has never figured out what the purpose of a hanger is, and I’m tired of picking his clothes up off the floor. So yeah, not a proud Mom moment, but I may have sworn a little as I again cleared the closet floor.”
“A lot. Not a little,” Alex corrects while climbing onto a chair to peek into the take-out bags.
Bailey cringes a little as I laugh at the honesty of children.
I take a seat next to Alex and help her pull out the food containers while Bailey grabs drinks. Once we’re all eating, Bailey speaks.
“Chubs is pushing buttons on a lot of the guys. Ava too. I know it doesn’t help, but you’re not the only one he’s hiding things from. I can’t imagine your frustration over it, though. I told Axel if he ever did that to me, I’d whack him where it hurts the worst.”
“Whack what?” Alex asks innocently as Bailey and I grin at each other.
“Whack him upside his head,” Bailey answers.
“And I’m guessing he covered his junk when you said that,” I state with no doubt in my mind.
“Yep. I’m always telling the guys that he’s smarter than he acts,” Bailey replies with a laugh.
“When are the ladies coming over?” I question while deliberately changing the subject.
Bailey gives me a knowing look, but like the great friend she is, she gives me that play.
“They should start arriving soon. With the men all tied up with club business, tonight’s a great night to work on Pippa’s wedding plans.”
No sooner were the words spoken, and the front door opens with a whoosh. Craig comes through the door first, then steps aside to hold it open for the women and other kids. After everyone enters the house, Craig shuts the door with some force and shouts in an irritated voice, “You’re welcome!” before stomping to the couch and throwing himself down on it.
I notice my eyebrows aren’t the only ones raised in surprise at Craig’s show of attitude. I bite my lip when I see Tammy turn toward him and place her hands on her hips. Seeing the same as I did, Craig stands back up and mimics Tammy’s stance. Shit’s about to go down.
“Would you care to explain your attitude, young man?” Tammy asks in a deadly quiet voice.
“Again?” Craig tosses back with sarcasm tinging his voice.
“Your mom and I have already explained, several times, why Axel is going to be the best man. It’s not your decision to make, even if you don’t agree with it. So now, can you say hi to everyone and then go play with the kids so we can get to work?”
While Tammy’s speaking and fighting for patience, Craig’s signing the words automatically for Luke’s benefit. I’ve noticed Craig always does that if Luke’s in the room, and it’s amazing that he never forgets his best friend’s hearing challenge. Though in true Craig style, I’m positive I see him adding a few gestures that have nothing to do with Tammy’s words but everything to do with what Craig thinks of them. I duck my head to hide my smile at his audacity but nearly laugh out loud at Ava’s expression. She obviously caught those same gestures too.
“Hi, everyone. I’m going to go play with the kids now so you adults can continue planning the wedding that I’m not a part of. Have fun with that,” Craig barks then turns and leaves the room with the other kids following him.
After a few beats of silence, Pippa says, “Should I be afraid to sleep with both eyes closed tonight?”
“You should be fine, but I’d hide all the sharp objects just to be sure,” Trudy states in a subdued voice.
“Is he really not in the wedding at all?” I ask Pippa with a frown.
“He shot down the idea of ring bearer and usher. When Pooh jokingly said he could be a flower girl, I thought there was going to be bloodshed. He wants to be the best man or nothing. Said that if he’s not the best man, then he’s not even going to attend,” Pippa explains with a sigh. “Craig also thinks Bart should be a part of the ceremony too. He keeps insisting that Bart is family and, therefore, should be included. As odd as this may seem, as a little girl I never dreamed of my wedding including a skunk. Not one damn time.”
I laugh at Pippa’s comment, but I’m not sure any female in the room dreamed of a wedding including a skunk. Only Craig would see that as a normal idea.
“Why not have him walk you down the aisle?” Livi suggests.
“Because I asked Trigger to do that,” Pippa answers while pressing her fingers against her temples.
“Luke’s coming to the wedding. What if Craig stood off to the side, upfront, and signed the ceremony? He’s the best anyway, and he always looks out for Luke to make sure he feels included,” Ava offers up another solution.
“That’s a great idea! He can be the interpreter!” Bailey agrees.
“I’ll do it, but know I’m only doing it so Luke doesn’t feel left out like I do,” Craig announces from the hallway before turning away and slamming a door shut behind him.
“Chubs swears that kid has bat ears and their hearing abilities,” I mumble to the stunned room.
“What’s the odds that he’ll only sign the words spoken during the ceremony?” Tammy asks the quiet room.
“Zero,” Ava and I answer at the same time.