Chapter 26
BLUE
On the way back home, Gabriel is quiet and withdrawn. We barely speak. I only inform him that instead of flying commercial, we will take my private jet, since I have arranged it with Sebastian.
He accepts it with visible relief.
By the time we arrive, it is already late. Gabriel goes to take a shower, and when I do the same and return, I find him already lying in bed.
For the past two days, we have been sleeping in my bedroom.
I quietly lie down beside him. He is on his back, eyes half closed, one arm thrown behind his head.
I have this strange thought that this is the kind of moment where a nest would help.
If only I knew how to build one. I don’t really have that instinct, but I know that when my father had a stressful day, he would go to the nest my dad had built for them, and its energy would soothe him, calm him down, and restore his strength.
Unfortunately, that’s the part of being an omega I can’t offer Gabriel right now.
But where I can’t give him that kind of nest energy and grounding, I can try to make up for it by talking…
I am about to say something, but then he suddenly speaks.
"I want you so desperately, Blue. I admire you, I adore you, I want to be worthy of you, but I am terrified of the world that surrounds you, a world that is alien to me, where I am an intruder, just a felon…
I want to apologize for my outburst there, but the feelings were real and weighed on me heavily. "
I can see how much it costs him to say that, his breath hitching in his chest, so I gently reach out and brush my hand over his pecs.
A slight shiver runs through him.
"Oh, Gabriel, I missed you while I was sitting at that table alone. That was not what I wanted, even though for a moment I thought maybe it would be better that way. But no, it wasn’t.
And I am not ashamed of you, so never think you don’t belong in my world.
You belong to me, and that is enough. That is what matters, Gabriel. "
My hand moves from his chest up along his neck, brushing over his gland and drawing another shiver from him.
"Do not push yourself away from me because you think you are wiser than Fate, that you understand our situation better, because you do not. It brought us together for a reason, and I know… Fate made the right choice."
Gabriel stays silent. My hand continues along his neck, lightly teasing, then I slide my fingers to his cheek and suddenly feel a damp trace of a tear. I have this weird urge to meet him in this state he is in, no patronizing, no distancing, no lecturing.
"Gabriel, please… just… hold me."
Gabriel’s eyes lock onto mine with a hint of surprise. I think he expected a cold, logical argument from me, but not this time.
I can see it in him, desire tangled with fear.
Slowly I place my wrist, the one he marked, just over his lips, and touch them with the surface of the mark. He blinks and places a small kiss on the scar.
"Take me, make love to me, let’s forget the whole world together…" I whisper, wanting to give him that feeling, that acceptance, and allow myself to just feel it too. "You’re my alpha… My protector."
And those emotional words really do ignite something in him, creating a real change. The look in his eyes shifts, and he moves in a quick, sharp motion, leaning over me as our lips meet.
I feel it again, his energy above me, around me, that sweet, virile presence of his body.
A powerful current of strength running through every cell of him, the power that can stop the universe in its course.
The pleasant scent of his skin seems even more distinct to me today.
It really resembles apple pie, with a fresh hint of green apple fragrance.
For some reason, I recall that before we met, I had a brief vision of a hand holding mine, and I could smell that scent, exactly that one, as if Fate had given me a taste of my future.
The sweet but fresh tone is dizzying, Gabriel slides his lips down to my neck, and as a result, my own mouth ends up close to his gland. It draws my attention. I brush my lips over it gently. That part of anyone’s body never interested me before, but now it strangely holds my focus.
Almost experimentally, I slip my tongue out and drag it along the surface of it.
The glands are slightly raised above the surface, located exactly where the neck meets the shoulders.
In most people they aren’t visible, especially with darker skin, but in very pale individuals you can sometimes notice a faint pinkish area and feel a slight swell under your lips.
In Gabriel’s case, with his reddish hair, I can see that subtle flush of pink.
I lightly nip at the spot with my teeth, and Gabriel goes still for a moment. I’ve never extended my mating fangs before. Some people can do it at will, but usually it happens during sexual arousal.
Obviously, I’ve never done it. I only tested my artificial teeth implanted in my gums, which are just thin needles filled with poison. But as for my real mating fangs, they stay dormant deep in my gums… What if I tried to bring them out?
As if sensing my interest in that part of his body, Gabriel’s lips now move gently over the place where I hope my own glands will someday grow back.
Just a few days ago, I would have pulled away, but now I give in.
I open up to it, letting him kiss and lightly suck at the skin there.
It gives me a strange sense of bliss, the feeling that he doesn’t feel disgust when he touches that mutilated place, only tenderness and care, and it melts my unease away.
Then his mouth moves down to my chest, brushing over my nipples. I never touched myself there, but I’m learning more and more about what I like thanks to Gabriel. It sends extremely pleasant shivers through me and draws waves of blood down into my lower abdomen.
It also stirs that strange but overwhelming urge to spread my legs wide. It’s instinctive, happening without my will, but I don’t resist, I just do it.
Gabriel reads the signal flawlessly and slides between my thighs, a low, vibrating purr accompanying the movement, a sound of satisfaction and approval, and a signal to the omega that the alpha wants to give him pleasure.
It surprises me that compared to the last time, now I can easily recognize it. Could it be that changes have already started in me?
We’ve only been having sex for a few days. Maybe our Joining has already stimulated my endocrine system?
Gabriel doesn’t waste time. His mouth lowers to my cock, which stands hard, begging for attention.
I love the feeling of his warm, wet mouth on it. I don’t know what it’s like to get a blowjob from anyone else, but one thing is certain: Gabriel shows a great deal of enthusiasm, which makes it perfect. I close my eyes and surrender to the sensation.
One of the most pleasurable parts of all of this is that he’s trying to make me feel good, prioritizing me, and that alone elevates the whole experience to another level.
Then, when his mouth moves to my entrance, I let out a deep breath, because indeed I’m already addicted to the feeling.
His tongue slides over my petals, catching, nudging, his lips sealing around them and pulling slightly, and I tremble all over as my precum spills from my cock, sticky drops falling onto my abdomen.
I start to hope he’ll push inside me, but… Gabriel lifts himself up and unexpectedly says, "Will you ride me?"
I stare at him for a moment, gaping a bit.
To be honest, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never imagined that position. I’m interested in dominance in life, but in bed? I guess I have more of a pillow prince nature, and that position feels like taking the more active, leading role. But I decide to try, because why not.
Gabriel lies back, pushing the blanket aside, and I look at his thick, hard cock and feel a flicker of panic at the thought of climbing onto the meaty rod.
"I’m not sure my fitness level allows for that," I murmur skeptically.
"I’ll help you," Gabriel says in a low, sensual tone, watching me with narrowed eyes.
"Okay, I can try."
Being open to challenges means I should follow through.
I lift myself over him, swinging a leg across his hips, watching his face with a hint of anxiousness, but his expression is completely free of it. He looks relaxed, pleased, aroused.
I slowly raise myself, take hold of his shaft, guide it into position, and press it against my entrance.
It feels strange, almost stressful.
As I start lowering my hips slowly, tucking him deeper and deeper inside me, his thickness fills me tightly, right to the edge of comfort. My petals spread wide, my passage stretched.
I bite my lip lightly but don’t sink all the way down. I’m not mentally ready for that yet.
So I begin to lift myself, starting at about halfway, but I immediately realize this won’t be easy or last very long, because my muscles start protesting almost right away.
Gabriel isn’t just thick, he’s super long too, which means the range of motion becomes significant, but he immediately understands what’s going on with me. He slides a pillow under his head to raise himself slightly, then grabs my hips and starts helping me, pushing me upward.
It feels a little strange, the way we move together. He’s lifting most of my weight, raising my ass with steady force, while I’m doing maybe thirty percent of the work, mostly lowering myself back down.
But even that is enough to leave me breathless. The intense internal stimulation is starting to have a powerful effect.
His cock rubs against my prostate perfectly, hitting all the right places, even much deeper, which surprises me.
To be honest, I’ve always been afraid of the deep penetration feeling, of what would happen if I had sex and a cock brushed against the entrance to my uterus.
During the surgery, the doctors left the muscular ring that closes off the entrance, but removed the organ itself. Now, because of this position, Gabriel’s cock is massaging that very ring, and it feels strangely pleasurable, which amazes me.
I struggle with myself and with my body, conflicting emotions, because on one hand, that ring, the remnant of what I used to have, stirs unease and bitterness in me, but at the same time it feels like a glimpse of what might one day become my reality: breeding orgasms.
I know I can’t experience that kind of pleasure yet, since it’s inseparably tied to the uterus and its contractions, but even this ring of muscle is giving me a new, unexpected sensation, and I want to believe… it’s the beginning of my healing.
So I push aside everything that used to hold me back, the fear, the shame, the sense of being mutilated, and let myself drift, hoping for a new future and allowing the pleasure that’s quickly building to push through my blocks.
I squeeze my eyes shut and tilt my head back, feeling as if that energy is carrying me upward, light and shimmering, like a rising current. It’s so liberating that I don’t even know exactly when I come, exploding into a radiant fountain of pleasure.
My body is wracked by such a powerful climax that it arches back on its own, intensifying the pressure against my prostate.
I’m still not used to the strange, ecstatic feeling of the orgasm itself, the unavoidable sensation of losing control, falling over the edge, but I discover that it’s wild and liberating, and I enjoy it thoroughly.
I thrust my hips up, barely needing his help anymore, feeling the dampness on my skin, sweat running down my temples, but I don’t care. I can feel him pulsing inside me too, his pleasure resonating through my own nervous system.
Our joint release is so strong that drops of my semen land on his chest, and some even reach his face.
I look at him through half-lidded eyes, panting. Gabriel gives me a small smile, then rubs his cheek, collects a drop of my semen, and deliberately licks it off his finger.
I want to say something, make a joke, but the only strength I have left is enough to roll my eyes before I collapse onto his chest.
I close my eyes, feeling blissful and drowsy, letting myself drift away.
All night, once again, we remain in Joining.