5. Gage
FIVE
GAGE
The clouds overhead had become increasingly darker, and the winds had picked up as I drove to The Local, just as I had promised Cooper I would. If I hadn’t made that promise, I definitely would have stayed home tonight. I should have checked the weather, but it had been clear when I left my house. I hated driving during thunderstorms, and I drove faster than I probably should have trying to beat the worst of it. I rushed through the bar door just as the heavens really opened up and a deluge of rain fell as lightning streaked across the sky. I met Cooper’s eyes just as a loud crack of thunder followed seconds later. Did he just flinch? Or are my eyes playing tricks on me? He definitely seemed a little off as he aimed a tremulous smile my way. From what I’d seen of the man so far, he didn’t do tremulous.
The bar was as empty as I’d ever seen it. Just a couple of men affectionately known as regulars sat at the bar, and there was one couple cozied up at a table. I headed over to my regular booth and sat down to wait for Cooper. A few minutes later, he sauntered over to me and leaned against the booth, giving me the most goddamned adorable lopsided smile I’d ever seen on a man.
“You showed,” he said, as if he were actually surprised I had come in.
“Well, yeah. I promised you I would. I don’t break my promises, not if I can help it.” Too many bad things happened when I did. Horrible, devastating things. The images came quickly to the front of my mind: twisted metal, bloodied windshield, hospital room with two sheet-covered bodies—one of them so very small. It took all my mental strength to wipe the gruesome images from my mind and focus on Cooper. Something must have shown on my face, though, because his smile dropped immediately, and he leaned in close to speak to me.
“Hey, you ok? You’ve gone white as a ghost,” he said, speaking softly to me so no one else could hear.
“Sorry. I’m fine, really. Storms just bring up bad memories for me, that’s all.” I gave him a small smile, but I was surprised to find that it was genuine. Despite the horrific memories and images that had just occupied my mind, I really was pleased to see Cooper. And didn’t that just scare the crap out of me?
An almost-imperceptible shudder swept through Cooper’s body—most wouldn’t have noticed it—then he gave me a sad smile. “Yeah, I’m not too fond of them, myself.”
It was clear neither of us were interested in discussing our reasons, so I barreled on as if that little soul-baring moment hadn’t happened.
“Can I get my usual, Cooper?”
“Sure can,” he replied, “just as soon as you tell me what it is.”
I looked at him skeptically. “You don’t know? You brought it to me last time. “
Cooper actually looked at little sheepish. “Yeah, you’re right. I did, but Pop actually poured it. He just handed it to me and told me to take it over to you. So, I don’t really know what the brand was. I could tell from the aroma that it was good stuff, but that’s about it.”
“Ah, I see. In that case, I’ll take a glass of Angel’s Envy, neat.”
“Well, my nose was right. That is definitely some of the good stuff. Coming right up.” He stood up quickly and headed to the bar to make my drink. And I thoroughly enjoyed watching his ass bounce as he jogged over to the bar. He was back in no time with my drink. And this time, he sat right down across from me in the booth, surprising me with his boldness.
“Don’t you have other customers to take care of?” I asked incredulously.
“Not right now. They’re all taken care of. Plus, they can see where I am. And I’m sure they won’t be shy about letting me know if they need something. Right now, I’m much more interested in talking to you.” He leaned in like I was about to impart some sort of ancient wisdom to him.
“Uh, okay. What do you want to talk about?” I asked. Ugh! I was so bad at this!
“You, of course. Tell me about yourself,” he said
Oh, fuck me. My least favorite subject. “What do you want to know?” There was so much I just wasn’t ready to share with him… or with anyone, for that matter.
“How did you get into making custom furniture? Is that what you’ve always done for a living?”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. And he looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “I’m sorry. It’s not really funny… well, to anyone but me, that is. I’ve really only been doing the custom woodworking as an actual career for the last couple of years. Since I moved here, really. Before that, it was very much a hobby. And barely that. It was always what I wanted to be doing, but I just didn’t have the time to devote to it.”
Cooper leaned in even further, seeming to be genuinely interested in my story. “So, what changed? How did it go from barely a hobby to a lucrative career?”
“Well, I don’t know that I would call it lucrative exactly,” I hedged.
“Oh, stop being modest. From what I hear around town, you’ve done quite well for yourself. And your custom pieces have a reputation for being works of art, practically.”
I couldn’t help but blush a little at the compliment. Geez! When was the last time someone actually made me blush? Oh, that’s right. It was this handsome asshole the last time I was in here.
“You’ve been asking about me?” I asked, a little flabbergasted at the realization.
He, on the other hand, wasn’t bothered in the least. “Of course. How else was I going to find out about you? Nothing beats the town gossip mill for getting all the important details. And most of the time, they’re even right.”
“Well, if you know so much, why don’t you tell me? By all means, tell me all about me.” I couldn’t help smirking at him just a little bit.
“I’d love to, but other than a few bits about your business, I’m afraid the gossip mill let me down. It seems you like to keep to yourself, mister. You don’t even really talk to anyone when you come in here. Why is that?”
I shifted a little uncomfortably at the scrutiny. “I just enjoy my privacy, that’s all. I didn’t have a lot of that in my previous life.”
“Your previous life? You make it sound like you’ve gone into the witness protection program or something.”
I chuckled at that. “Nothing so drastic as that. I just changed careers, moved house, and cut ties with my father.”
“Uh, maybe it’s just me with my boring, small-town upbringing, but that sounds like the definition of drastic to me. Maybe not witness protection drastic, but still. I’m afraid I’m going to need you to elaborate on that a little bit, please.”
I sighed, not sure if I really wanted to reveal all of my past to this man. I definitely wasn’t ready to tell him about Jonah and Claire, but I could maybe tell him about the rest.
“I come from a very wealthy family in Chicago. A very stodgy, ultra-conservative, all-up-in-my-business, old-money family who take themselves way too seriously, in my opinion. You asked earlier about how I got into making custom furniture. Well, my grandfather—my mother’s father—taught me all about woodworking when I was a kid. I used to spend summers with him occasionally.” My mind was suddenly inundated with memories of my grandpa—his warm smile, the smell of sawdust and that damned pipe he used to smoke at night. God, I miss that man . “You see, my mother didn’t come from money. Her family was comfortable, but not wealthy by any means. The wealth comes from my father’s side of the family. Him marrying my mother was probably the most scandalous thing to happen in that family for generations.”
“Ooooh, juicy. Do go on.” Cooper was fully leaned in now, hands resting under his chin. He looked like a child being told the best bedtime story ever. He was so damned cute!
“My father was expected to marry someone from the same social circles, someone his family approved of and vetted. But he met my mom while they were both attending Stanford, and they just clicked immediately. He was in law school, and she was still an undergrad there on scholarship. They started dating and by all accounts, they fell hard for each other—hard enough that my father actually stood up to his family. It’s still the only thing I’ve ever really respected him for.” Cooper looked like he really wanted to ask why I didn’t respect my father but was holding himself back from doing it. And from the look on his face, he was just barely accomplishing it. I had to hold in a chuckle at his obvious struggle. “Anyway, he asked her to marry him, and they eloped to Vegas. It caused quite the scandal, and apparently my father was nearly disowned. He was an only child, though, so he was the sole heir. In the end, they just gave him the cold shoulder for a while and then moved on. Although, his family never did fully accept my mother, even though they were married for over twenty-five years.”
“Wow! It’s like a real-life version of Dynasty,” Cooper said, winking at me.
I guffawed at that, but I guess he was actually kind of right. “Yeah, well. Back to the happier topic of my grandfather. Believe it or not, he was actually originally from Missoula, Montana.”
“No way,” Cooper chuckled as he shook his head in disbelief.
“Yes, way.” I laughingly replied. “The cabin that I’m living in actually belonged to him. He bought it near the end of his life, but sadly never got the chance to live in it. He left it to me in his will. Anyway, when I went to visit him as a child and as a teenager, he taught me all about woodworking. I fell in love with it immediately. I couldn’t get enough of it. I would have been more than happy to have followed in his footsteps and made it a career right off the bat. My mistake was telling my father that, because he definitely had other career plans in mind for me. He told me no son of his was going to do blue-collar work.”
“What a prick!” Cooper interjected before I could continue. He was fuming on my behalf. I couldn’t say I didn’t like the idea. But once he realized how he’d actually insulted my father, he tried to backtrack. “I-I’m sorry, Gage. I had no right to talk about your father that way.”
I just laughed. “No, you’re right. He was a prick. Still is, I assume. We were already clashing over other issues, and this just drove the proverbial nail in the coffin of our father-son relationship. You know what the worst part of all of it was?”
Cooper just shook his head, still listening with rapt attention.
“My father never let me spend summers with my grandfather again. I rarely saw him in the years before he died. And it absolutely gutted me. I loved him so much, but my father thought he was a bad influence on me. Not even my mom could talk him out of it. And she almost always got her way with him. I never forgave him for that. I never will.”
“My gosh, Gage. I’m so sorry you had to go through that—that your father put you through that.” Cooper reached over and laid his hand atop mine, turning it over and giving it a gentle squeeze. And my heart just about melted right out onto the floor. This man.
“Thank you, Cooper. I appreciate that. I really do.” I squeezed his hand back, then removed mine. I didn’t want him thinking this was developing into some sort of relationship between us. Because it couldn’t. Cooper deserved better than me.
He stared for a long moment at his now-empty hand before he finally drew it back to him. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he asked, “So, how did you end up here doing custom woodworking? “
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about Jonah and Claire, or even about my mother right then, so I told him a half-truth. I hated lying to him at all, but this was the best I could do for now. Even so, I physically leaned my body away from his a bit, trying to literally distance myself from this intoxicating man before he coaxed all of my secrets out of me. “I followed my father’s career plan for me and became a trial lawyer. He made me the youngest partner at his law firm. I was a defense attorney. I defended some of the worst criminals in the country.” My words sounded stilted and robotic even to my own ears. “My father didn’t care if they were guilty or not, only that they could pay our exorbitant fees. I hated it there. Absolutely detested it. A couple of years ago, I’d just finally had enough. I packed up my shit and left. I left everything I knew—my job, my father, my friends, and my home. I haven’t spoken with him since, and I’ve never been back to Chicago.”
“That’s so sad. What about your mother? Do you get along with her?”
He couldn’t possibly know what a hornet’s nest he had just kicked with that question. So, again, I told him part of the truth. “I loved my mother very much, and she loved me. She was always my most fervent supporter. But she unfortunately passed away about four years ago. She had ALS. She’d been suffering from it for years, and she was in really bad shape by then. She was just a shell of her former self, unable to communicate or care for herself—which I know she would have absolutely hated. She was always so strong and independent. She could barely take a breath on her own by that point, so her passing was actually a blessing. At least I know that in my head, but my heart’s not quite on board. I still miss her every single day.” To my horror, I realized I was crying. I wiped at my eyes and tried to look away, but Cooper gently grasped my chin and turned me toward him. When he released my face, he wiped a tear away and looked me straight in the eyes as he spoke.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Gage. My heart aches for you. I lost both of my parents in a car crash when I was ten. My grandparents raised me, and I loved them both dearly. They stepped up when I had no one else, and I’m forever grateful to them. I couldn’t have asked for better guardians. We lost my grandmother about three years ago. Pop and I still grieve for her. So, I can understand a little of what you’re going through. And I’m truly sorry you’ve had to endure that.”
This man…I swear, if I wasn’t careful, he was going to break me. Or I would break him. And I couldn’t let that happen. I would not let that happen. Even if it killed what little bit of my heart still remained open.
I chuckled awkwardly, desperately wanting to leave the topic of my past life behind us. “I sure know how to bring a mood down, don’t I?”
Cooper opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Mark, one of the bar’s regular customers. “Hey, CJ? Can you close me out? Looks like this storm is supposed to get a lot worse, and I don’t want to be here when it does. There’s a little break in the weather right now between storm systems, and I want to take advantage of it to get myself home before the really bad shit gets here. The rest of you might want to think about skedaddling your little butts home too. If you live fairly close and leave now, you can make it home before this thing spins up again.”
“Sure thing, Mark. I’ll be right there.” Cooper jumped up from the booth and jogged over to the bar to close out Mark’s tab. All his other customers followed suit, and before I knew it, we were the only people left in the bar. I can’t believe we were so engrossed in conversation that we didn’t even notice it had stopped storming.
With a reluctant look on his face, Cooper said, “I think I might go ahead and shut this place up a little early tonight. You want me to close you out too, Gage? See if you can make it home before it gets bad again?”
I met his eyes easily then, no longer feeling quite so emotionally raw. “Sure, I’ll go ahead and pay you so you can close out the bar. We both know I wouldn’t have ordered another drink anyway. As for heading home, I think I’ll stay for a while, if that’s ok with you. I checked my weather app while you were cashing everyone out, and there’s no way I’ll be able to make it home before that next storm cell descends upon us. It looks to be pretty gnarly—much worse than the one that just passed through—and the last place I want to be is on the road when it hits. Ok with you if I wait it out here?”
Cooper’s face lit up with happiness. “Sure thing. Stay as long as you like. I’d much rather have you here and safe than out there at the mercy of this storm.”
I smiled back and quietly uttered my thanks to him. “Thanks, Cooper. I appreciate it. How about I help you clean this place up for closing?”
“That would be great. Thanks. I’m certainly not going to turn down the offer of help with the closing duties. It shouldn’t take us too long since we only had a few customers. And we never opened up the kitchen tonight, so it should still be good from the cleanup earlier today. I’ll check it to be sure, but I bet we’re golden on that front.”
“Sounds good. How about I gather up the empties for the trash and wash the dirty glasses while you close out the register and deal with the closing paperwork? Oh, here,” I said, trying to hand him a twenty. “I almost forgot to pay you for my drink.”
He shoved my hand away, refusing to take the money. “Don’t worry about it. You’re helping me clean this place up. I think the least I can do is comp your drink.”
I put my cash away and nodded my thanks as he grabbed the cash register drawer and headed back to the office. I really hoped my staying here didn’t give Cooper the wrong idea, but the thought of being in the car driving in the middle of a bad storm like this shot my anxiety through the roof. It brought all the memories to the forefront of my mind again, brutal memories of another stormy night. And this close to the anniversary of the day I lost everything that mattered to me, I just couldn’t handle that drive. And if I were being honest, even if I actually had the time to make it home before the storm hit, I’m not sure I’d have done it. Because the thought of being all alone in my house with nothing but my memories and my guilt and my shame while the storm raged around me was more than I thought I could reasonably handle right then. Loathe as I was to admit it, I needed Cooper’s company. God help me, but I craved it!