Joy
I stare out of my bedroom window as the sky turns gray. All the puzzle pieces are starting to join.
That’s why Galina was so afraid of me ‘breaking the rules.’
She thought Valerian would kill me.
But does she know the truth? Does anyone?
The sun has been gone all afternoon. I rise from my bed. Head out onto my balcony. The sky is full with rainclouds, and they’re finally starting to burst.
Rain falls over the mountains in the distance, heading this way.
Valerian had his reasons for killing his wife. But he never told me.
I like him. And I can’t. Because he could be keeping other things from me. The only reason he told me this story today is because of Igor.
For some bizarre reason, it feels like a betrayal. Even though Valerian has never owed anything to me.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you don’t keep secrets.
But the same old shit keeps repeating.
This is the third time someone’s hiding parts of themselves from me.
I slump into the balcony, crossing my arms over the edge as the rain comes down heavy.
It hits the roof like nails, drifting across the courtyard.
Palm trees blow in the wind. Raindrops fall into the pool, distorting the surface.
The loungers where me and Valerian were sitting a few hours ago are completely wet, the wood soaked through.
I crane my neck, looking at the side gate where two new guards are standing, getting wet in the pouring rain, clutching their guns. They’re standing in the same place as the ones before them, both of whom are now dead, their bodies wasting away at the top of the San Bernardino mountains.
As for Igor and his friends, they’ll be looking to strike again.
After that conversation with Valerian, I understand things a little better. Igor wants me away from this house. He wants to knock Valerian down, and I’m his best shot at doing that.
Which says a fucking lot about Valerian and his feelings for me. I didn’t think he had any. But he must feel something, otherwise his son wouldn’t be trying to come between us.
I don’t know how Valerian feels about me exactly, but Igor must have seen something. He wouldn’t be striking otherwise.
I move away from the balcony, heading back into my room. I shut the sliding door, the rain pattering on the roof.
Being lusted after by a man isn’t a compliment.
But with Valerian, it feels like one. My heart jumps every time I think about sex with him.
Even now, I’m still picturing us in bed together, naked.
With the storm and everything, it would be a great to hide away in his room for a few hours and forget about reality.
But we can’t afford to do that. Valerian has his son to get under control, and I have a life to start living.
My heart pulls every time I unexpectedly see him around the house. Feeling the blood rush to my face is riveting, because I never get that way around people.
Valerian is a man with a code who would rather have his own son hate him than tell the guy the truth. And that interests me.
He’s full of surprises and has more layers than what meets the eye. You see a ruthless killer and draw your conclusions without considering how he got to this point.
There’s still a human underneath. But it’s not enough for me. He won’t open up to me unless he has to, and he should want to do that.
I know better than to get involved.
I rise from the bed, stretching out. I walk back to the window, checking out the guards. There are two stationed at each side gate. The blood from the previous guards has been washed away now by the rain, like nothing even happened.
My stomach turns. I swallow the uneasy feeling and start getting some of my belongings together. But the nausea gets worse.
I perch on the edge of the bed for a second, collecting myself. Sweat beads across my forehead. I wipe it away, gasping, holding onto the edge of the mattress until the dizzy spell ends. My period still hasn’t come yet.
Should I be worried?
The rain is still coming down heavily. I glance at the time on the wall, noting that the guards will be changing over soon.
My time to leave is now. I have to go before I lose any more willpower.
Being here, I’ve already lost a lot of it, my independence slipping more each day, becoming less and less like my father’s attention for me when I was young. Soon I’ll be left with nothing.
It’s now or never.
I glance outside, taking note of the guards. The guns lodged under their arms look very terrifying. One bullet has the power to obliterate me, so I’ll have to escape in the right way.
But there’s a way I can get out of here in one piece.
I head into the bathroom, grab a washcloth and shove it in my pockets. I’m wearing black sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt. Nothing exciting. But the duller, the better. I don’t want to wear color and be seen.
I creep down the marble staircase, taking each step at a time, on the lookout for movement. I don’t know where Valerian is—probably suit shopping again. But I can’t take any risks.
I was lucky to get off the hook last time with the punishment. This time, I may not be so lucky. Left hanging on the verge of climax is fucking cruel. I only like being chained to Valerian’s bed if I’m getting something out of it.
I make it down into the lobby. There’s so much space. And everything is so quiet. It’s hard to believe this place was full of people only a few days ago.
I creep across the lobby, out into the stone passageway. But as I’m walking out into the courtyard, I bump into Galina.
“Miss Joy. Storm is coming. Best to stay indoors.”
I really hate what I’m about to do, but options aren’t exactly flying out of my ears.
“I’m going for a walk through the cloister if you want to join me? I like the smell of nature when it rains.”
“Yes. I like too, Miss Joy.”
“Walk with me?”
Galina nods. “Okay. Five minutes. And then I must do laundry.”
Our footsteps clack on the stone as we walk through the cloister, making our way around. Rain splashes against the stone, a few droplets catching my cheek.
I peer out, seeing puddles forming in the courtyard, filling with more rain. Storms are peaceful. There’s less expectations. People tend to be off guarded more on dull days when the sun isn’t shining.
“I heard about what happened earlier, Miss Joy.” Galina looks at me apprehensively. “Igor killed four guards.”
“Who is he working with?”
“Not sure, Miss. Joy.”
“Valerian is his father. Why would he want to betray his family?”
Of course, I know the answer. I just want to see how much Galina knows.
She looks at me cautiously. Her eyes are full of fright, like she’s seeing a ghost. “You can’t tell anyone, Miss Joy.” She takes a deep breath. “Valerian killed his previous wife. Cut off both legs.”
Except it was the wife’s father—the philanthropist. He’s the one who committed that unspeakable act.
By the sounds of it, he got some sick, twisted enjoyment out of dismembering people. That is seriously fucked. No wonder Valerian killed his own wife. She needed putting out of her misery.
It sounds like Valerian never told his maid and butler the truth.
It’s almost like he prefers people to be scared of him. Like having people think the worst is better than them seeing him as human.
I’ve never come across a person like him before.
Galina brings me to a stop in the walkway, her shoes scraping against the stone. “You must not tell a soul, Miss Joy. We all get in big trouble.”
I take the washcloth out of my pockets. Fuck, this makes what I’m about to do next very shitty. But the guards all seem to love Galina around here and I’ll be able to use this to my advantage.
“Miss Joy?” Galina frowns. “Everything okay?”
“No,” I sigh, paying close attention to her face. Especially her mouth. “I think I might be pregnant.”
Galina’s mouth gapes open, as expected. I shove the washcloth in there and grab her by the wrists, pinning her arms behind her back.
I hold the washcloth in her mouth. With my other hand, I guide her forward. “I’m sorry, Galina. I’ll promise I’ll make it up to you. But I need you to walk.”
Galina murmurs against the washcloth, mumbling a bunch of words. I can’t tell if she’s speaking English or Russian. Either way, it doesn’t matter. None of this will when I get the fuck out of this place.
Galina shuffles forward. I guide her out of the stone cloister, into the courtyard. It’s still pouring with rain. We’re drenched through our clothes in seconds.
The guards at the side gate perk up when they see us approaching. They stand tall, guns at the ready.
“What are you doing, Joy?” asks one of them.
I squint through the rain, knowing I need to get one of their guns somehow. It’s the only way I can get out of here.
Keeping hold of Galina, I slowly raise my sweatshirt over my head. I’m not wearing anything underneath. I planned it this way. I manage to get the sweatshirt over my head. It’s cold. My nipples are hard from the rain.
I watch both of their eyes drop as they look at my breasts. I grab each one, making a show of it, teasing each breast until I have both of the guards’ attention in the palm of my hands.
And then, I reach forward and grab a gun.
The man lunges forward. But they stop when they realize I’m holding Galina up at gunpoint.
I knew she was a soft spot for all of them.
“Put the gun down, Joy,” says one of the guards. This one still has his gun, but he’s not choosing to shoot.
Perhaps he’s under strict orders from Valerian not to kill me.
I have the gun pressed to Galina’s temple, but I won’t hurt her.
I keep the gun raised at Galina, struggling to keep it lifted. It’s a lot of strain on the wrists. I wouldn’t be much use on the front line.
I’m still naked from the waist up, rain falling over my breasts.
“I’ll stop,” I say. “Just let me leave.”
Galina spits the washcloth out. “Danger is everywhere. There is no escape.”
I know what she means by this. Igor and his friends are out in the city somewhere. But Igor won’t kill me. He’d have done that already if he wanted to.
Besides, I can protect myself. I need to see Mom and Lila. And I need to buy a pregnancy test.
I feel butterflies in my stomach at the thought of being pregnant.
“Fine.” The armed guard moves aside.
I sigh with relief and scoop my sweatshirt from the floor. Once I’m through the gate, I give the gun back to its owner.
I catch Galina looking at me through the rain-stricken atmosphere, her face spacing out, like she’s seeing that ghost again. She doesn’t blink through the rain anymore. She seems to have forgotten all about the storm. Maybe that’s because there’s an even bigger one on the horizon.
“Be careful, out there, Miss Joy.”