27. Valerian
VALERIAN
Three days have passed, and I haven’t heard a peep from Joy.
I recline in my desk chair, the leathers squeaking.
My morning has been spent sculling coffee and checking over my finances, all of which are still gone.
I slam my hand on the desk and stand. Time to do something more productive with my day and get my fucking money back, since I’m having no joy in the other department…
I exit my office, stalking across the courtyard where Galina is hanging out laundry. She turns and watches me, a crease forming between her brows. This is the first time she’s seeing me in three days.
I’ve been locked away in my office tracking Joy’s GPS. She’s in Venice Beach. Hasn’t really moved around much since.
I could drive to her, bring her back here and lock her to my bed—it won’t take me fucking long to get her screaming my name again.
But my gut clenches every time I consider jumping in my car. My own body is telling me no.
And I’ve never properly understood that word until now.
My chest pulls in foreign places. Loving someone means letting the person go if that’s what brings them happiness. And I’m slowly starting to accept that.
“Joy?” says Galina, clutching the laundry basket to her chest. Her features are pulled back in fright. She takes a step back under the line.
I’m used to people doing that, and it normally satisfies me.
“Where is…?”
“Alive.” I finish the sentence for her.
Galina exhales with relief, taking a step closer. “She got out?”
I give Galina a curt nod.
The terror disappears from her face, replaced by confusion. “You look sad, Mr. Valerian.”
“Joy is safe. There’s no need to worry.”
“You… different around her, Mr. Valerian. Brings a good side out of you.”
I fold my arms across my chest. Interesting observation to make.
“Joy has much thinking to do,” continues Galina. “She decides if you are good enough for her.”
She already made her bed with that one. I’m not good enough for her. She knows that and so do I.
“See you later, Galina,” I say, walking past her to head indoors.
That’s when my phone starts ringing. All the blood rushes to my head at the thought of this being Joy.
But I see Niko’s name on the screen instead.
“What is it?”
“I finally found Igor’s location,” says Niko, “he’s at the top of the San Bernardino mountains.”
That’s what he’s been doing for the past three days—taking a fucking hike instead of getting himself to my place so we can talk.
I clench my jaw. “Is he alive?”
“According to the built-in heart rate monitor on his watch, he is.”
I sigh with relief down the phone. “Send me his location and meet me here. We’ll go together.”
A half hour later, we’re making progress up the mountains. Fresh air slaps me in the face when I wind down the window. I haven’t felt that in days.
Keeping my hand fixated on the steering wheel, I turn to Niko, “The mountains is the last place I expected Igor to go.”
“He’s even more unpredictable than you,” says Niko, watching the road with me. “But can you blame him after what Siguard told him? You’re lucky he didn’t stick his knife in you. We were all surprised."
“Myself included.”
“Igor has a lot of things to process.”
“Yes,” I say, “and I’m nervous to see which way he’ll turn.”
I slam my foot all the way to the floor, hitting the gas as we reach the peak of the mountain. I keep one eye on the road and another on the GPS, which says we’re four minutes away from reaching our destination.
The green pulsating dot gives me hope that Igor is still alive. You can never go into situations like these with expectations. For all we know, another person could be wearing his watch, stolen from his dead body.
“This is where I fucking come to dump dead bodies, Niko,” I gravel as we climb the last stretch.
A vulture sweeps overhead, circling a spot close to us.
Joy has a point. If I can’t protect my son, a twenty-seven-year-old grown adult, how the fuck am I meant to keep a newborn safe?
“Like father, like son,” says Niko, signaling to our left.
I turn, both hands on the steering wheel, and see a man on his knees, at mercy to the gun pointing directly his way.
I follow the gun up to the person holding it and kill the engine. Bylat.
I hop out of the car, Niko following.
More kneeling men materialize. I didn’t even see the others.
A dozen of them all kneel in a straight line, hands tied behind their backs by bloody pieces of rope.
I hear a bird caw in the distance, echoing through the valley.
Igor’s high enough up into the air to get away with murder. Several.
So far, he’s already gotten away with two. He walks down the line, building tension for the participants, threatening to kill them at any given second.
Niko nudges me in the side, pointing at something.
A dozen masks are all piled on top of each other. Fuck. These must be the leftover assassins Siguard and Igor hied.
And my son is rounding them all up and shooting them?
Nerves collate in my stomach. I don’t know how Igor has done this. Somehow, he’s successfully managed to drag a dozen trained assassins up here without any help.
He couldn't even successfully steal money from me.
The answer to how he did all of this is very clear—he’s angry. And when you hold all of that close to your chest, resenting the world for everything it took away from you, anything is possible.
This is the start of his revenge.
I step up onto the flat surface, Niko waiting behind.
“What is the meaning of this, Igor?” I say, close enough for only him to hear.
My son pins me a look, a cold wind shooting past us. “Don’t distract me.”
The only person who deserves to waste away up here is me. I’m the one Igor should be taking his resentment out on.
It’s worth the risk. If Igor shoots me, he’ll come to realize in time that it was a mistake, and maybe pull back on the vengeance.
I feel Niko in peripheral death glaring me.
Igor can have what he wants. He can take my business away from me and claim it for himself. What other purpose do I have left to fulfill?
Winning has always equaled punishment.
‘That just makes me feel sorry for you.’ I hear Joy’s voice echoing through this very valley as I face my son.
I’ll never be satisfied.
I’ll continue punishing people until eventually someone finds a way to stop me. And I don’t want to die that way. My son shooting me carries more meaning. It means I’ll die in the hope of changing him.
And I could never change myself.
“Don’t take your anger out on these men, Igor,” I warn him. “They’re not responsible for what happened.”
Igor’s ice-cold gaze cuts through the wind.
Despite standing a few meters away from each other, this is the first real time we’re connecting.
“You got Joy pregnant.” Igor’s mouth twists in anger.
“I wish I could apologize for that. But I can’t. My love for her blooms more each day.”
And it’s out of my control, which was why I seized up when Siguard approached with his gun.
He takes everyone I love away from me.
“Thank you for killing Siguard.”
“I did it for my mom. Not to spare your life.”
I nod, stepping through blowing wildflowers, approaching Igor.
“I understand. Siguard deserved to die. But these men don’t.
” I stare at him. “If you do this, you’ll be chasing revenge for the rest of your life and feel it slipping further away from you more each year until you end up killing yourself. ”
Igor studies my face, his hair blowing in the wind, shielding his eyes. The gun is still fixed in his hand, pointed to the line of assassins…
And then the muzzle slowly creeps my way.
A vulture comes into land, distracting us, the sound of ripping flesh filling the air as it pecks at the dead men.
Intestines hang from its beak, swallowing and going in for seconds.
Some of its friends land, their large black wings expanding, turning the atmosphere dark for a second.
They dig their talons into flesh, ripping, pecking, attacking organs.
I stare into Igor’s gun. Seems like fair justice.
“Do it,” I prompt him, staring into his eyes.
Igor’s jaw trembles, his grip tightening.
The gun shakes in his hand. He can’t hold it steady while looking at me.
I hold my arms above my head, making this easier for him by turning around.
“You really fucking love her, don’t you?” whispers Igor, his voice barely audible over the howling wind. “You want me to kill you because you have nothing else left to live for. Not even me.”
“Kinda why I’m doing this, Igor,” I deadpan, keeping my back turned. “You should know by now I’m not one for teaching lessons the easy way.”
Wind screams through the expanse, into the valley before retracing its steps and coming back around. It’s cloudy up here, speckles of rain catching my face.
We’re pretty much in the clouds. All I can see is the valley. The trees disappear into a lower layer of clouds, prohibiting me from seeing any further down.
The city is miles away, Joy down there too, catching up on missed time with the people she loves.
She has friends. I never really had those. The second everyone realizes the money has disappeared, they’ll be walking out of my life. My status was all anyone ever gave a fuck about… except her.
I revel in my next few breaths, knowing any one of them could be my last.
I stare into the horizon, my hands raised in the air. The vultures can tear my body to shreds, but they’ll never take away the love I feel for Joy, the unborn child and my son.
My death will set both of them free.
I hear the metal clinking sound of Igor releasing his hold on the gun.
Frowning, I turn over my shoulder and watch him lower it slowly to his side.
Clarity breaks through on his face, pushing away the anger.
I smooth my tongue over my teeth, eying Igor and the dozen men he still has lined up, ready to kill.
“Set them free,” I tell him, “but make sure you threaten them with silence first. Never look back on this life again, you understand me? If you want answers, you find me. You don’t spill blood to search for them.”
Igor nods, taking a step forward back to his assassins.
“Oh, and Igor?” I shout.
He spins around.
“If you want your apartment back, give me my money. All of it.” I look at him. “Since you and Siguard were working together, you should have access.”
“Actually, I don’t.” Igor extends his gun at the assassins. “But I’ll have no problem getting it.”