30. Joy #3
A great calm settles on Valerian’s face.
“It means you love me just as much as I have always loved you.” He works his throat, staring into the very depths of my soul with those eyes.
“You showing up to my funeral means you never stopped loving me. You’ll never be able to switch that feeling off, sweetheart.
” He squeezes my hand again. “You can either live the rest of your life in denial or take a leap of faith and put your trust in me.” I feel my soul shift, like Valerian is reaching out and touching it.
“Nobody can give you forever. But they can give you the world, if you’re willing to open your heart to something real. ”
This is the most at peace I’ve been for the past ten months. Designing fashion takes my mind off things, eases the heartache, but I wouldn’t have had the strength to take a leap of faith with my career if it wasn’t for Valerian in the first place, seeing my worth.
What’s another leap of faith when I already took a giant one this year?
I step closer, my pulse spiking. I snake my arm around his neck and bring Valerian into a kiss.
Things heat up quickly. Valerian slides his tongue into my mouth, exploring every inch of me. He entangles his tongue with mine. Shivers run up my spine with every brush. Every sensation, no matter how small, leaves my body desperate for more.
Pregnancy has heightened my senses. Spending ten months away from this man also has a part to play in how horny I am.
We’re kissing and my own wetness is leaking down my thighs.
His hand is fixated on my hip. We’re both still fully clothed.
I’m holding our sleeping daughter in one hand, exploring Valerian’s muscles with the other, running the hand up his chest. Every contracting muscle and undulation has my heart throbbing more erratically.
“Does Igor know how to babysit?”
“No,” grunts Valerian, dragging his lips over mine. “But Galina can give him lessons. Here.” He takes Hope from me and walks across the lobby, outside into the courtyard, where he kisses Hope on the forehead, handing her over to Galina.
A smile breaks out on her face. She looks into the lobby, the corners of her mouth lifting even further when she sees me waving.
I blow her a kiss.
Valerian puts his hand on the small of my back, guiding me to the staircase. But before I can take my first step, he swoops me up, tossing me over his shoulder and carrying me all the way to his room, which he quickly locks.
He sets me on the edge of his bed, stepping back, looking at me pensively. “How are you down there?”
“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” I part my legs, smoothing a finger over my pussy, wearing clothes I was supposed to be burying my husband in, not removing to fuck him.
“You know what I mean.” He swipes a finger over his bottom lip, glancing at my body like he wants to devour it.
The bulge in his pants makes his intentions very obvious.
“I’m fine.” I sit back onto my elbows, allowing my legs to drift. “No tearing or anything, if that was your polite way of asking.”
“Good,” Valerian says, walking over to the chest of drawers. I know exactly what he’s rifling around in there.
I hear chains jingling and immediately lose my breath, excitement burning through me like no time has changed.
Watching Valerian walk over to me, chains dropping from his hand, makes the past ten months feel like a fever dream.
And now I’m awake.
“Be a good girl and shuffle yourself up to the headboard, sweetheart,” he instructs, his voice low, filling the entire bedroom.
My heart beats erratically in my chest as I press my back up against the cool wood.
“Remove the blazer and shirt,” instructs Valerian, standing over me like a dark knight with those chains, full of bad intentions.
My pussy is ready to receive all of him, good and bad. Nothing matters more than him getting inside so I can feel all parts of him.
And not all of those parts are good, but I didn’t rush over here for good. I came to honor the first and last man in my life who made me feel something real.
Good people don’t exist in this world. Everyone has a balance of both inside of them. If Valerian was a patron saint, I wouldn’t be here. And I definitely wouldn’t be wet through my panties, holding my wrists up, begging him to fuck me.
I’m in love with all versions of him.
I don’t want good. I just want honest. And Valerian has always given me that.
“Such a good girl,” moans Valerian, admiring me from afar, “tied up to my bed, whimpering for me.” He trails his finger over his lip, considering his next moves.
My nipples are on the verge of poking through this bra. I struggle against the handcuffs, needing him to remove the bra.
The chains clang against the wood as I squirm, trying to slide my hand out of the cuff so I can touch myself. He doesn’t seem to be in a rush to do that.
“You’re even more of a fucking delight than I remember,” he grunts, the mattress dipping as he sits on the edge of your bed. “Look at your breasts. I could flex my fingers and still not get my hand around them properly.”
“It’s called having a baby,” I pant, my body starting to get restless.
“Indeed.” Valerian’s face darkens over, taking my body in.
He turns his body around to face me, hooking a finger under my bra wiring.
I stare at the finger, heart drumming in my throat.
Valerian’s eyes cut through me like they did in the lobby. He watches me carefully, eyes clouded over with the type of darkness that causes you to lose yourself and rediscover your identity, all in one breath.
He catches my eyes and rips the fabric, my bra tearing in half. Valerian tosses the two separate cups aside and runs his hands over my breasts, smoothing, contorting the tissue like he’s kneading bread.
“Such amazing tits,” he grunts, placing his mouth on my nipple, kissing the sensitive area.
Tingles fill my body, my moans drifting out into the room.
I clench my thighs together, my back still pressed into the headboard. My clit is throbbing, swollen with desire.
The attention he’s giving to my breasts isn’t making any of this easier.
“Please,” I groan. “Fuck me. We don’t have time for this.”
“Oh, yes, we do, my sweet printsessa. Don’t you remember what I told you before about defying me?”
“What?” I gasp between staggered breaths.
Shadows play on Valerian’s face, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “You know the rules. I win every single time, sweetheart. And your punishment for walking away from me is going to be a big one.”
Valerian flashes me a pointed look and rips open my thighs, causing a gasp to slip from my mouth.
He inserts his head between my legs, pressing his face up right against my covered pussy, moaning. “There’s the smell I know and love. Remember when you denied being wet for me?” He catches my eyes. “I don’t see you denying anything now.”
Valerian reappears from my legs. He rips my pants and panties off in one fluid motion, tossing both out into the room.
“Let me take a look at you.” He pries open my legs, air rushing to my pussy, adrenaline with it as his blue eyes stare at my most vulnerable area.
I only gave birth last month. I’m not looking the same as I used to down there.
But the fire burning in Valerian’s eyes tells me he doesn’t give a fuck about that.
He runs his finger over my shaved pussy, finding my clit.
I moan, pressing my hips forward, grinding on the finger, since that’s all he’s giving me.
Valerian flashes me a smug smile and removes the finger, quickly sucking off the excess before moving onto his next phase…however many there are.
“You taste even sweeter than I remember, lapochka,” he groans, returning to the chest of drawers to pull out another piece of equipment.
I frown, excitement threading through me as I work out how he intends to use this. It’s some kind of pole, no longer than the width of his hand…
Until he extends the device, holding it out for me in demonstration.
“What’s…?” I choke on my words, the arousal taking away my ability to speak.
“This contraption is for your legs, sweetheart, to keep them nice and wide for me.” A gentler expression falls over his face. “Are you okay with this?”
I laugh, confused as to why he’s even asking for my permission. He can do anything to me. Permission isn’t required. In fact, I quite enjoy the spontaneity that comes without it.
“Joy?” His voice drops an octave.
“My body is yours to use.”
Valerian studies me for another beat before grabbing hold of my legs, setting them shoulder width apart. He loops two bands around each of my ankles, which attach to the pole.
Valerian catches my eye, darkness clouding his features, and extends the pole, my legs moving further apart. Cold air rushes to my pussy as he continues lengthening the pole, raising my legs until the soles of my feet are facing the ceiling.
“You look good wearing my equipment, printsessa,” he purrs, holding the pole up.
My clit burns, wetness leaking down the insides of my thighs.
I struggle against the chains, my hands still locked over my head, all limbs completely out of use.
I can’t even clench my thighs together and relieve some of the pain.
Valerian knows exactly what he’s doing, one corner of his mouth curling into a mischievous smirk as he takes in my form.
“What now?” I pant.
“Now,” begins Valerian, keeping the pole raised as he sits on the bed, “your body belongs to me.”
He drives the pole over to the headboard and attaches it to some sort of hook there. It’s hard to know what he’s doing exactly. My ass is high in the air, my face pressed to my chest. I’m in a child’s pose position.
Valerian secures the pole and rises from the bed, admiring me. I gasp at how exposed I am.
But that just makes me want him more. My heart is beating a rhythm I can’t keep up with, my pussy on fire.