Chapter 24
24
I waited in my office, nervous beyond belief to see Joshua Walker, the new head of the Walker family. I’d reached out to him, hoping to meet with him and negotiate a sweet deal for the both of us. I was tired of focusing all of my strength and energy on taking them down, and I thought if I could get them to agree to peace, it would be much better for all of us.
From what I heard, he was a carbon copy of his father, and that scared me, but if there was any chance I could make him see reason; I would. If he really was anything like his father, the meeting would end badly, and I prepared a contingency plan. I had no idea if he sought revenge on Rowan and me for killing his father, and I prepared my men for a battle. But the waiting was the worst part. He was set to arrive any minute, and I felt like vomiting.
A knock sounded at the door, and my heart thudded harshly against my chest in anticipation.
“Come in,” I commanded, shuffling a few papers on my desk; the same papers I’d been shuffling around for the last forty-five minutes. One of my men waved at me from the open door and I nodded, signaling him to let Josh through.
And suddenly he was there, standing in the doorway, staring right into my soul. His walk to my desk seemed to take hours, and it was hell for me. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Sit down, please,” I said. He straightened the hem of his suit and sat down stiffly. He looks just like him.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” a gruff voice from the door said.
I peeked around Josh’s shoulder and saw Rowan glaring at me. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid… I thought, standing.
“Rowan,” I greeted, meeting him in the middle of the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this, Charlotte?” he asked in an angry whisper.
“Rowan, I’ll explain later. Just please leave for now,” I pleaded with my eyes.
He scoffed. “Unbelievable,” he said, backing out of the room.
My heart raced knowing I’d have to deal with Rowan later, but in that moment I needed to address the elephant in the room. So I returned to my desk.
“Sorry about that,” I said, unable to meet his eyes.
“Why have you called me here?” He asked in a curt manner, and I knew that he would be all business and no play.
“I’m tired of this war that our parents started with each other,” I began, clasping my hands together on the desk. “I don’t have any idea if you feel the same way, but I want it to end. I have other things I need to focus on, and I can’t do it if I’m spending all my time trying to take you down.”
He nodded along with my words, but his expression remained flat, giving nothing away. He didn’t speak, but instead waited for me to continue.
“So, I have a proposition for you, and I hope you’re willing to take it.”
“Tell me,” he said.
I swallowed nervously. “If you and your men can stay out of my territory, and the trafficking stops; I’ll stop lacing the contraband and call Rowan off,” I said. It was a blunt request.
I could see the internal conflict through his eyes. I knew he wanted to avenge his father’s death, but I also knew that I’d hit them hard, and they hadn’t expected it. He’d lost a lot of men and a lot of business because of me.
“Josh, I know that your father’s death wasn’t easy. I know because my father died at the hands of yours, and I would want to get revenge on the people who killed him if I hadn’t already. You have to understand the position he put me in,” I said, unsure if he even agreed with how his father ran things.
“Don’t talk about my father,” he said, a pained expression on his face.
“You know what he did,” I accused, my throat tightening. “You know what kind of man he was, and you didn’t stop him.”
“It’s not my place, Charlotte. It’s my job to pick up where he left off, just as you are, and you know that,” he said.
I studied his face and knew I wasn’t going to be able to convince him otherwise.
“I get that, but you don’t have to, make a change Joshua. Regardless, I’d still like to extend the proposition. I hate what I’ve done, but I need to protect my people. I’ll withdraw my men if you withdraw yours. We can both coexist on opposite sides of this city,” I said.
“We can come to some sort of negotiation; I only want one thing Charlotte.” He replied.
Rowan
I paced the hallway for a few minutes, fists clenched and jaw tight. I didn’t like that he was in her office with her, and it took every part of me not to storm in there and kill the man where he sat. He wasn’t his father, but he was still dangerous. He groomed the women that he dated, even if he didn’t realize, always getting them drunk, or gaslighting them. He never forced them, he was worse; toxic even. By the time they realized, it was too late, and I didn’t know what he’d do if he got his hands on her.
I couldn’t hear their voices through the door, not for lack of trying. It wasn’t long, however, before the door opened and Josh emerged. The sight of him and his smug smile made me want to slap it right off of him. I grabbed him by his shirt and threw him against the wall.
Then he smirked. “If you weren’t around, I’d have no problem taking my turn with Lottie. I heard she's pretty vocal.” he chuckled.
Drawing my arm back, I slammed my fist into the wall next to his head, satisfied when he flinched.
“Do you know what it’s like to have the oxygen ripped from your lungs? That’s how I left your father when I killed him. And your sister? Oh, your sister. She thought she was going to get fucked but instead I watched as she turned blue, I smashed her like an insect.”?I whispered menacingly.
“Speaking of, did you get your delivery? I told your father what would happen if he touched her. Turns out, he didn’t listen.”
The smile fell from Joshua’s face, and I knew I had him. Releasing him roughly, I kept my hardened gaze on him as he staggered down the hallway, fixing his lapel as he went. As soon as he disappeared around the corner, I stalked into Charlotte’s office and slammed the door behind me. She was sitting at her desk typing on her computer.
“Look at me,” I demanded, stopping in front of her.
She turned and stared at me with a questioning gaze. “Rowan, please don’t be mad.”
“What the hell was that about?” I demanded.
“I called him in for a meeting because I wanted to end this thing. I told him if he left us alone, we’d leave him alone,” she sounded offended and hurt, as though she hadn’t done anything wrong, and that pissed me off.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t have someone in here with you,” I growled. “He could have hurt you. You shouldn’t have been alone. You’re turning into your father, Charlotte. All these secrets.”
I saw her innocence turn into anger at my words. “Maybe I should have heeded his warnings about letting myself get distracted. Then none of this would have happened.”
My mouth fell open. I didn’t know what to say, but she continued.
“You think you’re so healed, Rowan?” Charlotte rose from her chair and stepped around her desk to face me. “You’re a hypocrite. You shoved your trauma so far behind that red door until you were forced to open it.”
“I know, and I opened that door for you, Charlotte,” I countered defensively. “And yeah, maybe I enjoyed what I did more than I should have. What do you want from me?”
Her stare turned to stone. “I’m not going there right now, Rowan.”
“Lottie, say what you really want to say,” I shouted, stepping closer to her.
“I hate you for not being there!” she shouted. Her expression turned to shock at what she’d said, and she took a moment to calm down. “Okay?”
I put some distance between us. “I wanted to,” I said, hurt. “You were the one who pushed me away. You told me to take a day off. You said you’d be safe!”
She scoffed. “You hate me, too. Admit it. Part of you blames me for what happened to us as much as I blame myself.”
“Do you really feel that way?” I asked, unsure what else to say.
Charlotte didn’t answer. She shrugged her shoulders and looked at her feet and I looked at my hands; the hands that had killed for her. The hands that had caressed her body, and wiped her tears. I stared at the ring her father had given me, my vow to him that I would protect her with everything I had in me. Shaking my head sadly, I took the ring off. I can’t fail her anymore.
“Fuck you,” I mumbled. “Consider me relieved of my duties.”
I dropped the ring to the floor and walked out of the office.
Charlotte
My cheeks heated when he threw the ring to the floor, and I hoped he’d come back. Raising my head, I let my eyes scan the door for any sign of it opening, but it was just a terrible reminder that he was hurting too, and once again I had to sabotage in fear of getting hurt. He hadn’t been himself either, though at least I could say he wasn’t any worse.
The realization came to me that I’d cut him deep. We’d fought so hard to get to where we were, and I wasn’t ready to give that up.
“Rowan!” I yelled, following him out the door.
He was already on his way out the door when I caught up to him. “Rowan,” I said. “Wait.”
But he ignored me. Strapped his helmet on and straddled his motorcycle.
“Fine! Leave me like you always do!” I said shakily as tears poured from my eyes. “I did it for five years Rowan! I can do it again!” I screamed.
He peeled off as I stood in the driveway, and my heart pounded as I realized I’d lost him. Raindrops began pelting me with their wetness, and I stood stock still as the downpour began, unwilling to escape from the hell I’d created as Roe’s form became a spec on the horizon.
I held the ring in my hand, turning it over and over, wondering how I got in the position I was in as I faced the bookshelf behind my desk. The door of my study opened and closed, a muffled sound amid my racing thoughts.
“Charlotte?” I heard, and I turned to face the speaker.
It was Arthur, and he had a worried look pasted to his face. I smiled at him. “Yes?”
“Are you alright?” he asked, taking a step closer and glancing at the ring in my hand.
I looked down at it again, knitting my eyebrows together. “He left, Arthur. And it’s all my fault,” I said, my words monotone.
He didn’t respond at first, and I watched from the corner of my eye as he sat down in one of the armchairs and folded his hands in his lap. I looked at him, my eyes felt puffy and stiff. I knew he was inexperienced in relationships; he’d barely had one that lasted. But he was good at listening and that was all that mattered. I’d always been close with Arthur and all the fighting that had been going on was weighing on me.
“I’ve been pushing him away. I feel like every time he looks at me, it’s a painful reminder of his greatest failure.” I said, fresh tears welling up.
Arthur leaned forward and caught my eye. “You know that's not true, you have that man whipped; always have. He will come back, Charlotte. You know he always does. Just breathe, okay?”
“Yeah, but then in a few months who’s to say this won’t happen again. What should I do?” I countered.
“Honestly, Thomas would know better than me. He’s closer to Rowan than I am. Also, Thomas and his wife have had quite a few rough patches.” Arthur laughed. “During one of them, Thomas thought she was cheating on him with me, of all people.”
I laughed at the humor behind his words. I knew Arthur, and that accusation was just not him. “I’m sorry for bringing you into this, Arthur. I just needed someone to talk to who isn’t Roe,” I said, sitting at my desk.
“It’s alright. Although, I might have to start charging you. I was only coming in to give you an update,” he said, and continued before I could say anything. “Brain was able to hack and take down multiple sites that included your videos. We’re ready to go in and infiltrate. It will be tough, but I’m working on a plan for me and my guys.”
“That’s great, Arthur,” I said, sitting up in my chair.
“I was going to wait until their next charity event because they have their auctions around the same time. Thomas will distract Joshua and keep him busy as long as possible while my men infiltrate the auction,” he finished.
“That sounds exciting,” I said, grinning. “And I like it. Go ahead with your plans. I've reached out to a few connections to place them somewhere safe and secure. I'll send you the contact information.”
“Thank you,” Arthur said, rising and walking briskly out the door.
I sighed and slouched in my chair. My mind didn’t feel any clearer than it had before talking to Arthur, and I knew I’d have to figure it out on my own. I opened my drawer to grab the keys to the safehouse when I noticed a letter tucked between some files. Curiously I picked it up, turning it from side to side, it was addressed to me in fancy handwriting. Having free time, I carefully opened the cream-colored envelope and my eyes glazed over with fresh tears. It was from my dad.
My sweetest Lottie,
If you are reading this it means I am no longer around, and for that I am so sorry. I never wanted this life for you, and sometimes I wished that I had someone else to hand off things to so you could live your life the way you wanted.
I am so grateful to have been your father and need you to know that while I loved you deeply, your father is far from a saint.
While deployed and in captivity, I was made to do terrible things, some of which shaped me forever. I was not born into organized crime Charlotte, all I wanted to do was make enough money to give both you and your mother everything I could, but I lost my way.
I created this family with a few of the men I served with among others who supported my cause. I couldn’t stand behind Richard. He had always had a hate for women because of his mother, and he wanted people to hurt the way he was. I stood behind him in a lot of things Lottie, he was my best friend, but auctioning off people like cattle; I couldn’t.
Those who refused to stand behind him had a target on their back. Your mother was taken from me, Lottie, and you were raised by Richard for the first four years of your life; until she was brave enough to bring you back to me. Every day of my life , I think about that, and if you were hurt, but you never said anything; all I could do was worry. I never wanted you to hate her, but it was easier than looking you in the face and telling you that it was my fault she was gone.
If you fell to Richard, I know how strong you are and you will make it through the pain and hurt sweetheart. Fight against whoever you need to, forget the family name, survive. You are a survivor, sweetheart. Do you know how I know? Because you have someone willing to go through it with you. I knew as soon as I laid eyes on Rowan that he would be your forever. A father just knows, so please don’t push him away in the hard times. You both have a lot of hurt, and I have no doubt you will overcome and heal together.
And for Christ’s sake, stop giving the man a hard time. Once I walked in on him separating the marshmallows from the cereal you like, and when I asked him why he said, “because it will make her happy.”
It must have been his day off. He was wearing a baseball cap that day, and it reminded me of someone dear to me. Some I wish I could have done more for, and I regret it every day of my life.
So let him be there for you and stop pushing everyone away.
You got this, I raised you well. Research, plan, execute, and take them down for good.
I love you sweetheart,
Dad.
Tears cascaded down my face in a waterfall, and I quickly wiped at them with my sleeve when my phone buzzed on the corner of the desk. I opened the notifications and saw it was a voicemail from Rowan. My finger hovered over the play icon, unsure if I wanted to jump right into it again or if I needed a breather.
I shook my head, clearing the notification, and opted to send him a text message instead.