CHAPTER ELEVEN || HARRIS
Reed was quiet for most of the day, in his head. I could tell he was stewing on what had happened with Lacey. Specifically, her mention of Jeremy. When Reed told me he needed to go check on the bar, I let him go without protest.
By myself in the cabin, I felt restless. I couldn’t get comfortable and I couldn’t sit still long enough to read or watch anything—surprisingly, Reed had a television that worked and subscriptions to several streaming platforms. But none of the programs held my attention.
At last, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared at the screen. Then, after several moments of indecision, I called Cole.
He answered on the second ring.
“It’s about time,” Cole said by way of greeting. “You’ve made me wait almost a week for news. It’s enough to make a boy become homicidal.”
“You haven’t been a ‘boy’ in eight centuries. And you’ve never needed any help in the homicide department.”
He sniffed. “True. I assume you’ve called to spill all the tea about your new man.”
“Cole.”
“It’s been nearly a week and you two are fated to be together—plus, he’s a werewolf. Love at first sight was practically invented by their kind!”
Wouldn’t that be nice? I thought wryly. It would save me an awful lot of headache.
When my pause lasted longer than it should’ve, he added, “I’d assume you two have been engaged in plenty of mate-worthy activities by now?” His voice rose a little at the end, making it into a question.
“You were the one who suggested I go and tell him off for being an asshole,” I reminded him.
“And I assume you did exactly that. But what, precisely, have you been doing with the other six days and twenty-three hours of the past week while you’ve kept me waiting?”
It was an exaggeration, of course, but not by much.
“Well, I guess we slept together last night.”
“Ah, lovely!” Cole’s tone brightened. “And how was it? Is he an animal in the sack?”
“No, I mean… we slept. As in, occupying the same bed.”
“And this was… progress?” He sounded deflated.
“Look, I didn’t call to tell you about my sex life. Or lack thereof.”
“You’re no fun, detective. Has anyone ever told you that?”
I rubbed my forehead. Cole somehow had the power to make me simultaneously miss him and want to clobber him over the head with a blunt object. “Only you.”
“So, if not to share the gory details, what made you finally decide to call me?”
Maybe I was slow on the uptake, but it only hit me right then that the restlessness I felt was because I was worried about Reed. Right now, he was trying to shut me out, to handle everything—including his darkest emotions—all on his own.
Paul had been like that, too. Despite being the talker of the two of us, he’d always processed things internally and quietly.
But I had never directly made space for him to do that with me, so I had no idea if he would’ve trusted me with that.
In the back of my mind, I had always known it was a line I wasn’t sure I wanted to cross with him, because of the way it would deepen the already confusing intimacy between us.
I had screwed things up with Paul. And I was scared of screwing things up with Reed, too. Of making the same mistakes all over again.
At last, I spoke. “I think I’m…” I swallowed the knot of emotion in my throat. “I think I need to talk to Reed about his feelings. Or maybe let him talk about it.”
It felt weird to say aloud, and if I’d been talking to anyone else, I wouldn’t have been able to. But I knew Cole wouldn’t judge me. Much.
He fell silent and I could practically hear the incredulity in his pause.
“Okay,” he said slowly, as if trying to parse my meaning. “That’s… a bad thing?”
“Not bad—just hard.”
“And why is it hard?”
Because I’d trundle right the fuck into a gunfight with a bad guy if I needed to, but I was still a coward when it came to emotional stuff. That was the simple, honest truth.
But the other glaring truth was that Reed needed me.
He wouldn’t say it aloud, but it didn’t change what was real.
Instead, I said, “Because I don’t know how.”
“My goodness, one would think you were entirely heterosexual! Use your words, detective. You don’t know how to do what, exactly?”
“How to show up for him. Or for anyone. I’ve never let myself try before.”
“I see.” He paused, then cleared his throat. His tone changed, becoming firm. “Well, I doubt that. In fact, I’m afraid I must call bullshit. Emphatically, even.”
I gritted my teeth in indignation. “What do you mean, you doubt that? I’m literally telling you how it is!”
“Come now, you know I don’t like lies.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Sadly, you seem to be lying to yourself. You do know how to show up for other people. You did it for me when I needed you most. Multiple times, in fact.”
“Well, back then, I had a murderous vampire calling me up at four in the morning and demanding I talk to him about his love life!”
He chuckled. “Well, I’d be happy to repeat the process, if that’s what it takes.”
“And I was under vampire hypnotism,” I added.
“You were never under any obligation, supernatural or otherwise, to be my friend, Harris,” Cole said, his tone turning more serious. “You chose to do that.”
I had nothing to say to that.
“And I am your friend as well,” Cole said. “I expect I always will be. And as your friend—your bestie, in fact—I’m giving you this advice: whatever you’re afraid of with the wolf, face it directly. You aren’t in this alone.”
“Right. You’ll be here for me. Bonds of friendship, eternal devotion to your bestie, et cetera.”
“Well, now. I do believe my sarcasm is rubbing off on you, detective. It’s quite lovely and I greatly approve.” Then he paused before adding, “And of course I will be. But it’s not me I meant. You and Reed, for better or for worse, are in this together. And you must face whatever comes, together.”
It was, down to the letter, what I already knew. But hearing it said aloud made it far more real.
And that was why I had called Cole in the first place, wasn’t it? So he could tell me to stop being a coward and show up for Reed, no matter how much that freaked me out.
Grudgingly, I said, “Thanks.”
“Any time. Now, for heaven’s sake: hang up the phone and go start making some gory details to share with your bestie. And if you wait another week to call me, I’ll be very cross with you.”
I rolled my eyes but found myself smiling when I hung up. Just a little.
Reed was obviously struggling. And I already knew, alpha or no, his life was lonely as hell. Maybe even lonelier than mine. He needed something real.
He needed me.
And I knew what I had to do.
* * *
Hours later, Reed brought home more takeout from the Crescent Springs Bar & Grill—tacos, this time. They really did seem to have everything on their menu.
“Sally says hello. She keeps asking after you,” Reed commented, setting the tacos onto plates. He flashed me a smile, but there was a searching look in his eyes when his gaze met mine. He looked back down quickly, redness creeping into his cheeks. “She—uh—she’s convinced we’re dating.”
I chuckled. “Can’t imagine why.”
Reed lost his smile, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Right.”
He brought the plates over and set mine down in front of me, all while avoiding my gaze.
I frowned at him. “What?”
“Nothing. Let’s eat,” Reed said immediately, grabbing a taco and lifting it to his mouth to take a bite.
I looked down at my plate and saw that my tacos didn’t have tomatoes on them. But Reed’s did. It was a small thing, and I’d only mentioned it once, but he’d remembered.
It galvanized me into action. “I’ve been in your cabin for almost a week now.”
Reed put his taco back onto his plate. “Yeah.”
“And we slept together last night.”
“True,” Reed said. “Look, it was dumb. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“And we’re fated to be together.”
“I know.”
“Then it’s kind of underselling it to say we’re ‘dating.’”
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never dated anyone before,” Reed admitted, his gaze trained on his plate.
“Anyone? At all?”
Reed shrugged by way of reply.
“But you’ve been with people. Sexually.”
“Sure, a couple of times here and there. But nothing was ever serious—it was just having fun, two guys blowing off steam. It didn’t really matter in the long run.”
“Has it only been guys?”
“Wolves generally don’t have much of a sexual orientation. In human terms, we’re mostly pansexual. It’s more about who the person is, rather than what they are. But I’ve usually fooled around with guys more, I guess.”
“Do you have a type?”
Reed raised his gaze to meet mine. “I do now.”
I felt my cheeks get hotter than they ought to have been. “You know, technically, I think eating at Crescent Springs Bar & Grill and heading to the bookstore together might’ve been a date.”
A smile broke out across his lips. “Yeah?”
“Pretty sure, yeah.” Then I paused. “If you want it to be?”
His eyes searched mine. “I do.”
“Then it was. It was our first date. Which means we are, technically, dating.”
Reed smiled all the way through dinner.
Afterward, we moved to the couch and he settled into his spot and then went to pick up his book, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Not tonight.”
His brows knitted together. “No?”
I settled down next to him, our thighs touching. “No. There’s something we need to talk about.”
“Am I in trouble?”
“No.” I put my hand in his and we threaded our fingers together. His skin was warm and a little rough, but his touch was gentle. “But we should talk about what happened at Emma’s this morning.”
He immediately tried to pull away, but I stopped him, wrapping my other hand around where our fingers were joined. “Reed, don’t. There’s something I need to say.”
He swallowed, his eyes widening slightly, as if bracing himself for a blow. “Say it.”
“When Lacey brought up Jeremy, I saw the way it affected you.”
“It’s nothing,” he said immediately. Too quickly, in fact.