CHAPTER ELEVEN || HARRIS #2
“It’s not nothing. I just—I know that I’ve shown up out of the blue and I don’t want to make any demands of you. I know your situation is hard.”
“I’m the alpha,” he said, his jaw tightening. “What’s hard about that?”
“Let’s start with the fact that you probably feel completely fucking alone all the time.”
His breath left him slowly. “That’s the trade-off to power, right? Being alpha is a lonely job.”
“One you didn’t ask for. And I’d bet pretty much every dollar I own that you didn’t want it, either. And now you’ve got to make the rules and everyone’s looking to you for decisions.”
I expected him to argue with me or contradict me. What I didn’t expect was the quiver in his lower lip, the sudden desperation in his eyes.
“I don’t want it,” Reed admitted, his voice going thick.
“You’re miserable, aren’t you?”
He shrugged, but I could feel the tremor in his hand. His entire body was trembling.
“You’re not betraying them by speaking your truth. You can trust me, Reed. I want you to know that.”
“Did I tell you how I became alpha?”
“No.”
“Jeremy was my closest friend growing up. He was alpha before me. And then he died—he became a vampire. And suddenly it passed to me. The power always passes to the next strongest wolf in the pack, until no one is left.”
“That’s a shitty way to become leader.”
“It was my fault. I wasn’t fast enough to save him.”
I felt that like a punch to the gut. I hadn’t been fast enough to save Paul, either.
Reed’s shoulders turned inward and he let his breath out in a rush. “Fuck, Harris. I’m afraid I’m going to screw everything up. That I’m going to get us all killed.”
“You won’t.”
“You don’t know that!” Reed said, his voice rising. I could hear the desperation in it, but he was looking away from me, so he wouldn’t have to meet my gaze. “You don’t know anything about me!”
“Bullshit.” I released his hand so I could lift his chin with my fingertips, so that his gaze met mine once more.
I didn’t feel anger or fear any longer. Instead, there was just a burning desire to show him he was wrong about himself.
I wanted him to see himself the way I saw him—because he was, despite his flaws, still perfect exactly as he was.
“Look, you’re obviously brave when it comes to fighting monsters. But more importantly, you’re kind. And you respect boundaries. You believe in what you’re doing. You want to do good. You want to protect other people. And you’re a pretty sweet guy, in your own way.”
“Sweet, huh?” He shook his head. “Not sure I’ve ever been accused of that before.”
“It doesn’t make it any less true.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you, but kindness, respecting boundaries, and being an all-around sweet guy doesn’t exactly make you a good alpha. It’s kind of the opposite.”
“Who the hell told you that?”
“Jeremy wasn’t sweet. He made a lot of bad choices, but he was strong. An alpha-hole, even. But strength is what matters.”
“This power—it chose you for a reason. Maybe the pack doesn’t need an asshole right now.
Maybe it needs someone who tries to be kind and compassionate, who respects boundaries and who really believes in doing good things, because it’s the right thing to do.
Maybe it needs someone who cares about protecting the people around him.
Hell, maybe being a good leader isn’t about pushing people away—it’s about letting them in.
If you can’t be an alpha-hole, don’t be. Just be you.”
My speech left him staring at me, the anxiety in his expression melting away to a strange softness, a light in his eyes I’d never seen there before.
“Fuck, Harris,” he whispered roughly, awe in his voice.
Without thinking about it, I kissed him.
His lips were warm and soft, but when I traced my thumb along his jaw, his skin was rough with stubble.
His lips parted for me easily, allowing me to deepen the kiss.
His tongue met mine and he tasted both spicy and sweet, the scent of pine needles suddenly everywhere around us like a soft embrace. My cock hardened as I kissed him.
When I pulled back, there was a mixture of hunger and need on Reed’s face and his eyes flashed gold.
“Harris,” he growled. “I want—”
He broke off when I stood up. I wasn’t consciously allowing myself to think about what was coming next. The time for thinking and fears had long since passed. Now it was only what we felt, what we wanted, and what we both needed.
I held out my hand and he took it wordlessly, letting me guide him up from the couch.
Feeling steadier than I might have ever imagined, I led him across the room to the bed.
“Harris, are you sure? Because we don’t need to—”
I kissed him again, cutting him off. I knew he was about to tell me we didn’t need to do anything I didn’t want to do, but I did want whatever came next. Emotion burned hot and bright in my chest, a mix of fire and longing, tenderness and lust.
“I want to,” I told him when I pulled back, my eyes locked on his. They flashed gold again, but it was gone so quickly I might’ve imagined it.
He flashed me a—well, wolfish—grin. “Yeah?”
I nodded, reaching for the top button of his shirt. “Yeah.”
Reed copied me, motion for motion, undoing the buttons of my shirt at the same pace I did his. When my torso was exposed, his gaze swept down my chest and back up again. “I want to touch you,” he murmured.
“Do it,” I said, undoing the last button on his shirt. It fell open, revealing lean muscle and that seductive dusting of dark chest hair.
His hands were warm—almost hot—when they touched my bare skin. Reed brushed my abdominal muscles with his fingertips, then his hands climbed and his palms caressed my chest, drawing a shiver of pleasure from me.
I put my hands on his chest and found his chest hair was soft to the touch, but the skin below it was hard with muscle. A thrill of excitement raced up my spine, but I didn’t want to do anything else except whatever came next.
I pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the floor.
He did the same with mine.
We reached for each other’s belts in the exact same moment, then made eye contact and grinned at each other.
With the belts off, I reached for the button of Reed’s fly and undid it.
Then I took the zipper and pulled it down.
He pushed his jeans off, taking his underwear down with them.
His eyes went from dark to molten gold as he stood before me, naked.
They didn’t change back. It was the only evidence he was anything other than an ordinary man.
I undid my own jeans as he watched, the hunger on his face sending a thrill up my spine. When they dropped to the floor, I stepped out of them.
Now that we were both naked, I let myself really look at him for the first time.
I hadn’t spent much time consciously cataloguing the male body, but he was just about perfect.
If I had a type at all, Reed would have been it.
He was lean but muscular. His lower legs were as hairy as his chest, but his powerful thighs were smoother.
His cock was hard and a bead of pre-cum was already forming at the tip.
It was shorter than mine, but thick and uncut.
Strangely, I didn’t feel any fear or trepidation, the way I had always assumed I would on the rare occasions I had directly entertained the fantasy of being with another man for the first time.
Instead, I wanted to take him in my hand, to make his eyes shut with ecstasy, to see if I could make him come undone with my touch alone.
Reed was watching me the same way, his eyes still that strange and otherworldly shade of molten gold. “Harris,” he said gruffly. “I want to pleasure you.”
I nodded, my mouth going dry with desire. It had been a very long time since I had been touched by anyone.
Reed dropped to his knees before me, and I felt a jolt of surprise—I would have expected him to insist on being the dominant partner. That he would never have consented to be on his knees before me.
But before I could think about what that meant, he took me in his mouth.
“Fuck!” I hissed, my eyes rolling back as my breath escaped sharply. “Holy shit.”
His mouth was warm and wet as he took me all the way down. His tongue swept my tip on the way back up. I threaded my fingers through his hair, an animalistic part of me taking over, making me want to rut into his mouth.
He paused, his gaze flicking up to me, his lips stretched around my cock, and gave me the smallest nod, granting me permission.
I let out a soft growl of approval and began to gently rut in and out of his mouth, my hand on the back of his head as he held perfectly still, his rock-hard cock dripping pre-cum onto the wooden floor.
After a few moments of this, he grabbed my ass with both hands, pulling me deeper, until I was buried in him.
I let out a strangled gasp as pleasure rocketed up my spine.
He bobbed up and down on my cock, while with one hand he stroked himself, moaning around me.
A minute of him working me like this and I felt the familiar tingle along my spine, the telltale tightening in my pelvis and balls.
“I’m close,” I warned him.
He nodded slightly and kept going. I watched him with amazement as the tingle of pleasure roared into full-blown ecstasy and I let out a gasping snarl and came, shuddering, down his throat.
In the same moment, he let out a strangled groan and came onto the floor.
When he eased off me, I pulled him to his feet and kissed him, tasting myself on his lips. I pressed him to me, cupping his ass with my palms, pulling a soft moan from him. He wrapped his arms around me—gentler than I would have guessed he was capable of—and practically melted into my touch.
“Fuck, Harris,” he whispered, his voice hoarse, when I pulled back from the kiss.
“Reed,” I breathed, rational thought completely banished from my mind by the pleasure he had just given me.
I stepped back and took him by the hand, and we collapsed onto the bed together, both of us breathing hard.