Chapter Twelve Corlin Crown Alexander
“Who the fuck is banging on my door?” I muttered in the middle of a rainstorm.
This week had me so fucking stressed out that I decided to turn my phone off. With the lights low, I tried my hardest to drown out my thoughts. Earlier that day, I walked to the liquor store around the corner and grabbed me a little something to sip on, knowing damn well I rarely ever drank.
I just didn't want to be bothered.
My mind wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Between watching Solae get hurt over and over again, Kaylani still finding ways to get under my skin, and everything else life kept throwing at me, I was mentally exhausted. Alcohol wasn't gone fix shit, but for one night, I wanted something, anything, to quiet the noise in my head.
The pounding at my front door came again.
Louder this time.
Annoyance shot through me.
Picking my strap up, I made my way to the front door, swinging it open.
“Lae... have you lost your mind?”
My eyes slowly scanned over her body.
The effects of the shots I'd thrown back had me fighting mixed emotions I wasn't prepared to deal with.
She stood there in a thin peach-colored dress clinging to every curve God had blessed her with.
Rainwater dripped from the ends of her hair, making the fabric stick even tighter against her body.
My mouth went dry the second my eyes landed on the outline of her nipples pressing through the material.
Either she didn't know...
Or she didn't care.
Neither answer helped me.
“Crown! Why the fuck are you not answering the phone?”
Her hands rested on them thick-ass hips of hers while she tried to catch her breath.
For a few seconds, neither one of us moved.
The silence stretched between us until it became uncomfortable.
“C... Crown, you're one person I'm not willing to let go of in my life. Without you, I'm a fucking mess. You're the calm to my chaos and the beat to my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't worry about you and whether you're truly okay.”
Tears filled her eyes.
Real fucking tears.
Not the kind she cried over another sorry-ass relationship.
These were different.
“I refuse to sit back and watch Kaylani hoe ass walk all over you. You promised me that if we both couldn't find anyone, you were my safety husband and I was your safety wife.”
Her voice cracked as she fought to keep herself together.
“Crown, I can't keep living like this, and if other people can see it, why can't we? I know you have trust issues, and I know you struggle with abandonment, but I promise we can be happy together.”
Every word landed exactly where she intended for it to.
Right in my fucking chest.
Before I knew it, rage shot through my body.
Not because I didn't believe her.
Because I did.
“Solae... why now?”
My voice came out rougher than I intended.
“Why not five years ago?”
I shook my head.
“Why not ten?”
The pain I'd buried for years slowly worked its way to the surface.
“Hell... why not twenty?”
She jumped at the sound of my voice.
I immediately hated myself for it.
Running both hands over my face, I turned away from her and walked toward my couch before collapsing onto it.
I buried my head in my hands.
For a split second, I thought about pouring another shot.
Maybe then this conversation would make a little more sense.
I felt the couch sink beside me.
Then her hand.
It rubbed slow circles across my back the same way she'd done a thousand times before whenever life got heavy for me.
Slowly lifting my head, I looked over at her.
I believed every damn word she said.
I really did.
That's what made this so hard.
Because if I let myself believe her completely...
I'd hand her the one thing I'd spent my whole life protecting.
My heart.
“What changed, Lae?”
I searched her face for an answer.
“What made today different from every other day we've been friends?”
The questions that had been eating me alive finally spilled out.
“Am I your second option?”
My jaw tightened.
“Your rebound because all them other niggas couldn't get they shit together?”
The words tasted bitter coming out of my mouth.
I hated asking them.
But I needed the answers.
She didn't say anything.
Instead, she stepped closer until she was standing between my knees.
Her hands found my face. Before I could stop her...Her lips crashed into mine.
The kiss wasn't rushed.
It wasn't desperate.
Like something we'd been fighting for years without realizing it.
Something shot through my body the second our lips met.
Every late-night conversation.
Every hug.
Every ride together.
Every promise.
Every time she'd called me first.
Every memory we'd built over the years seemed to crash into me all at once.
When we finally pulled apart, neither one of us spoke.
We didn't have to.
The sparks between us spoke loud enough.
Standing to my feet, I took a step backward.
Then another. I couldn't think straight.
All I could think about was years and years of friendship hanging in the balance.
If this went wrong...
I wouldn't just lose a woman.
I'd lose my best friend.
The one person who'd always found her way back to me.
That fear was stronger than every feeling running through my body.
I forced myself to stand my ground.
“Leave.”
She stared at me like she hadn't heard me.
“Right now, Lae.”
I motioned toward the door.
The hurt that spread across her face damn near broke me.
Tears spilled down her cheeks.
Without saying another word, she turned on her heels and walked toward the door.
Right before stepping outside, she looked back over her shoulder.
For a second...
I almost stopped her.
Almost called for her to come back.
But fear won.
The rain had died down by the time the front door closed behind her. I felt like a dumbass.
The house felt empty.
I stood there staring at the door long after she'd left.
What she wasn't about to do was play with my heart.
Not when she knew exactly what I'd been through.
Not when she knew abandonment had been chasing me since I was a kid.
I already had Lani thinking shit was sweet.
Now Solae wanted me after years of watching her choose everybody but me.
Whether she meant to or not...
That shit crushed a nigga forreal.
Then my mind went right back to
Trelin.
Another man between her legs.
Touching her.
Tasting her.
Pleasing her.
"Fuck!" The word echoed through my house.
I snatched my keys off the counter.
Enough was enough.
I was tired of swallowing my feelings.
Tired of pretending shit didn't bother me.
Tired of being the nice guy everybody leaned on while I silently carried the weight of everybody else problems.
Today...
That shit ended.
I jumped in my whip with one thing on my mind.
Somebody was about to feel exactly how the fuck I did.