24
OLIAS
I twirl the ring I got back from Clarissa yesterday on my finger. It's red, just like that dress I got Clarity to wear for Thanksgiving.
It drags my head away from the work meeting I currently sit in, placing me in deep thought about my girl.
When am I ever not thinking about her?
I took her home this morning, after sleeping in the hospital. Work is the last place I want to be, but she insisted I go.
I've been here for hours, the sun’s beginning to set through the window. I wonder how she's doing. She told me Natalie was picking her up for some college thing. But I should really check up on her.I sigh—
" Mr. Grey? " The man speaking up front clicks me out of my thoughts. Was he speaking this whole time?
I clear my throat. "Yes?"
He steps aside the smart board with his work on it. Whatever it's about, it looks dull and uninteresting. I look at it more. Baby diapers. His work is about a new brand for baby diapers.
How fucking ironic.
"Well, what do you think?" he asks.
I stare at the board, my hand on my mouth. What do I think?
I think I want to go home.
Elijah, sitting off the side of the table huffs. "He doesn't think anything because he wasn't listening. Clearly, this job doesn't matter to him as much as it should."
I lower my hand from my mouth. Turning to look at my good for nothing uncle. He stares at me, hard, but un-intimidating. He should probably work on that.
I clear my throat. "Meeting’s over, see you all tomorrow. You," I point to the guy standing at the front of the room with his work, "get back to me tomorrow with this. Thank you for the presentation." The man nods and I stand up.
Elijah shakes his head as everyone rises, gathering their papers and beginning to exit the room. Not a word else.
"You can't just do that, Olias. That guy was offering money for his work. And it was decent. If you just listened—"
I clench my jaw. "I don't want a fucking lecture on how to do my job. Alright?"I respond with harshness, failing to keep my words at a professional volume.
"You clearly need one since you don't know what the fuck to do with it!" his nose flairs, steam practically spewing from his nostrils. "Step down," the order slips through his lips in a hushed tone. "Step down and I'll take over."
I shake my head. "No. We're done here." I grab my phone off the table and begin to walk, but he grabs my wrist. He's fucking pushing it.
"What's got you all distracted? Hm?" he presses as I glance up at the ceiling, inhaling a much-needed breath. I start to turn around, stepping away from him. "That girl isn't it. Guess what, she won't matter in ten, probably five years when you're no longer together, but this business will—"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence because I spin myself to face him, slamming my fist into the side of his jaw. He stumbles back a few steps, touching his split lip dripping with blood. Slipping my phone in my pocket I pick him up by his collar, slamming his body against the office wall.
"I've had a very shitty week," I say. "Talk about her again and I'll break your jaw next time."I look between both of his eyes for a moment, the fear on his expression not hidden very well. I release him, and he gasps for air. Lifting my quickly swelling hand, I shake it off. "You're fired,” I mutter.
Catching his breath, he laughs. "You can't fire me."
I walk to the door, push down the handle and open it. "Funny, because I think I just did." The door slams behind me and I instantly turn my attention to my hand.
It's not bleeding, but it pulses, a faint blue bruise appearing on my knuckles.
Clarity's going to freak when I get home.
"Mr. Grey, are you alright? Do you need ice?" I hear secretary, Lena, say from behind me as I enter my private office.
"I'm fine."
Papers scattered across my desk cause me to sigh. I walk over and begin sliding them into a pile, but a sharp pain from my hand travels through my arm.
Lena walks behind the desk with me, I look up at her as she grabs my hand.
"I said I'm fine," I say more sharply, attempting to calm my rudeness. Any woman other than Clarity touching me makes my skin crawl.
She pushes her hair to one side and looks up at me as if she knows my words are bullshit.
"I'll get something cold. That's going to look bad in the morning, if you don't ice it." I watch as she walks over to the mini fridge and takes out a frozen can of soda.
I huff through my nose. Maybe I just need to cool down. Pulling my chair out, I sit.
Lena, carrying a frozen Pepsi, walks over and sits on my desk, her knees pointed at me. I look up at her, fighting the urge to tell her to get out.
Clarity wouldn't want me to be mean.
I allow her to take my hand and press the cold metal against my knuckles. It stings, but I don't wince.
"What got you so riled up in there?" She asks me.
"I don't want to talk," I look away at a random black dot on the wall.
"Fair," she says. "If I got broken up with, I wouldn't want to talk either."
I snap my head at her. "I didn't get broken up with. What are you talking about?" Does she know something I don't?
She laughs. "So that proves there's a girl in the picture. What's her name?"
I hesitate before answering. "Clarity."
"And what did you do to her?"
"What makes you think I did anything? We're good."
She looks at my hand and then back at me. "There's got to be a reason you're all throwing fists today."
"Elijah's a dick, that's why."
"Everyone who works here is a dick," she reasons. "You've been upset all day. I can see it in your face."
Clarity's diagnosis pops into my mind. It hasn’t left it at all since yesterday. I'm not upset; I meant every word I said to her last night. But it doesn't mean I don't wonder. I haven't thought about the option of not having kids; I always assumed eventually it would happen.
Despite that, I couldn't care any less about not having biological kids.
"I'm not mad," I say, then look at her. The slit in her shirt has lowered since the last time I looked at her, showing her cleavage. I shake my head, realizing where her head is, and it’s far from mine. "You should leave."
She sighs and gets off the desk as I stand up. The soda can did help a bit, but I don't feel comfortable with her here.
Just as I walk to the door, she grabs my good hand.
I turn around, ready to tell her off when her lips connect to mine.
My heart sinks, the breath in my lungs evaporating at the touch of another woman's lips.
Immediately, I raise my hands, shove her away from me, and gasp soundlessly, wiping my mouth with my sleeve.
What the fuck .
"Are you fucking kidding me, Lena? What the hell was that ?!" I scream.
Her eyes start to tear up, and she stutters her words. "I don't know, I thought you—"
I groan, my face burning, grabbing my hair tightly. "What about my actions told you it was okay to fucking kiss me? I just told you I have a girlfriend, and you fucking kiss me?"
"I'm sorry—"
My head goes light. Quickly, dropping my phone on the table, I race out of my office, open the bathroom across the hall, and lock the door. Dropping to the floor, the twist in my stomach travels up my body until vomit is spewing out of my mouth and into the open toilet.
Clarity. God, Clarity, I'm so sorry.
I didn't want to.
What will I tell my baby?
Another round of vomit leaves me as the image and touch of Lena's lips on my replays. Lips that aren't Clarity's. My nerves feel shriveled up like raisins as I run over Clarity's possible reactions to this. The day after the terrible news she received in the hospital.
Will she even believe me? Maybe I shouldn’t tell her. She's going through so much. Maybe I don't have to.
No, I have to. I must prove to her I would literally die before cheating on her. To prove that she isn’t just another girl. I picture her soft face and round eyes dropping when I tell her about this. It rips at my heart.
I pound my fist on the floor. If I could peel my lips off and replace them with new ones, I would.
Standing up minutes later after all the shit is out of my system, I quickly wash my mouth out and turn, opening the door in search of my phone.
Entering my office, Lena’s gone, thank fuck. And I find my phone on my desk. I grab it, sit on my chair, and unbutton my shirt, fanning the humid air around to cool me down.
My hand fidgets as I press on Clarity's contact name—"My Clarity," it still says. I call her. Blowing a breath out of my mouth, I listen as the first dial goes through, then another, and then her voicemail.
She didn't answer.
Where are you ?
I call her again. I just need to hear her voice, and then everything will be okay. Once I get home, I'll tell her about what Lena did.
Voicemail again.
I begin to worry. Is she okay?
Standing up to pace, I call again, and this time, she answers. Crying.
"Clarity?" I question softly. "What's the matter?"
She sniffles. "I guess you aren't busy anymore, huh?" her voice quivers.
My brows knit together. "What are you talking about? I'm about to leave—"
"I can't believe you!" I've never heard her sound so angry, stumbling over her words. "How can you just call me and act like you weren't with someone else?" She weeps hard, and I root my feet on the ground.
What? She doesn't know what Lena did, so what is she talking about?
"With someone else? Clarity, what—"
"I'm not an idiot, Olias, okay? If y-you really were sad that I can't give you babies—" her voice cracks, and so does my heart. "You could've said so. That girl that answered the phone can probably give you many babies."
The girl that answered the phone?
The girl that answered the phone.
What a fucking bitch.
What did she do?
"Clarity, whatever she said, it's not true. I promise you nothing ha—" I pause. I can't promise her that. Something did happen. Lena's kiss happened.
" What Olias? Tell me. Tell me nothing happened, please... and when you come home, we can make hot chocolate like I wanted. " Her voice is quiet, hopeful, and soft, as always.
"I wouldn't cheat on you, baby, I swear it," my voice cracks, nearly ripping my hair out as my eyes begin to blur. " She kissed me ."
A soft whimper rips through the phone, and I feel my legs weaken at the sound of her breaking down because of me.
"I've heard that before," she sobs. "You sound just like him."
Her words shoot at my chest. "Clarity, don't say that—"
The line goes dead.
Slipping my phone in my pocket, I waste no time.
I open my office door, which slams against the wall. Stalking to Lena's office, I open her door to find her at her computer. She looks up at me and smiles, standing.
"Mr. Grey—"
"What the fuck did you say to her?" I question, walking to her desk.
The pure anger soaring through my blood could burst my veins open.
"Say to who?" her forced doe eyes boil my blood.
I slam a hand on her desk, and she flinches. "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER."Desperation drips from my strained words.
She sighs, swallowing. "I just told her you were busy and that your lips... taste good—You don’t understand. Since we were younger, I’ve always liked yo–"
"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I scream, grabbing her monitor and launching it across the room. It hits the wall hard, a loud bang echoing through the floor.
"Olias, relax!"
I walk around the desk. "Relax? You just kissed me, answered my girlfriend—who's sick , by the way—phone call to tell her I've been cheating on her at work, and then you want me to relax ?"
Tears fill her eyes, and not a shred of remorse runs through my blood. If I could launch her out the window beside me, I would.
She puts a hand on her forehead, shaking her head. "God, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."
"Pack your shit, I don't want to see you in this building after tonight." Everyone seems to think I'm some joke today.
"Olias—"
"I can make sure you never get hired again with just one claim of sexual harassment. The power to ruin your life, like you just ruined mine, sits in my fucking hands. So, if I were you, I'd shut your mouth and get the hell out," I stare deadly at her and point to the door.
She nods, her face red with embarrassment, as she quickly gathers up her briefcase and coat and leaves the room.
Minutes after she leaves, I gather my things, coat, and wallet, run to my car, start it up, and drive back to Clarity. The entire ride, the rain blurs the front window, and my mind runs miles away; I nearly crash my car. Nearly. But I eventually got to the building.
Taking two stairs at a time, I shove my apartment door open.
"Clarity!" I call out. "Clare, I'm back."
Pulling the key back out, I throw my briefcase on the floor, my heart burning and hammering against my chest, ready to explain myself and everything that occurred tonight for the next fifty years if I have to. The air traveling through my open mouth dries my throat.
I hurry through the house, checking the couch—it's empty. "Clare?" I feel my eyes sting as I run into Vanessa's room, kitchen, and bathroom.
Empty. Empty. Empty.
Then, my room. It’s the first place I should've looked but the last place I wanted to. Because if she isn't in here, snug in my blankets, the worst has happened. But as I open my door to see Cat running up to me and the bird squeaking in its cage were the only two accompanying the room, I fall to the floor—on my knees.
My back hits the wall, finding it hard to stand as tears fill my eyes.
She left me. For real this time?
Sitting down, feeling the tears slip from my eyes, I don't bother wiping them.
A meow cracks the depressing silence in the room, and I blink my eyes. I see Cat. He paws at me, rubbing his body on my arm, and purrs.
I pick him up, setting him on my lap, my face twisting. She loved this animal.
I've always been one to hide my emotions, but not alone or around Clarity. A sob quickly leaves me, my nose running.
Pulling out my phone, I search for the picture she took of us when we first met and click on it soon after. Staring at the large grin on her face, her cheek smashed into hers, only hurts more. I click the phone close.
"She's gone, little guy," I rub Dog's chin.
He meows, licking my thumb. Maybe he's a good support animal, after all.
Sniffing, I swallow. "I miss her too."
CLARITY
It all happened so quickly. One moment, I'm calling Olias to ask him if he likes the tiny marshmallows in his hot chocolate, and the next, a girl is answering his phone.
Sitting in the back of Natalie's car, I stare out the window as she drives me to her home, my head against the glass.
I told him one more chance, and I meant what I said.I can’t go through what I once did again.
"I'm sorry, Clarity," Natalie nearly whispers.
I wipe the tears falling from my eyes with my sweater sleeve. Olias’ sweater. It has his coconut scent. I push it against my nose to take a whiff.
I miss him already.
"You didn't do anything," I croak. "He was the one with someone else."
"You sure he would do that to you? I mean the way I've seen him look at you like you're the only person in the room... it doesn't seem possible."
I sniffle. "He said it himself that there was a kiss." It all happened so quickly it’s hard to remember it. It’s like my brain is trying to block it out, protecting me. The two raindrops strolling down the window catch my gaze, and I watch as they race each other down. "She sounded pretty."
My phone on my lap rings and Olinda pops up on my screen.
I stare at it, letting it ring as cold tears collect on the tip of my chin. When it ends, text messages follow. Each one hurts my heart more and more.
Olinda : Please answer the phone, Clarity. Where did you go? You're not at home.
I bring my knees to my mouth to muffle my sobs.
Olinda : Come back to me, baby, please. I need you.
Shutting my eyes, they sting. I want to go back, but I can't.
I can't trust anyone anymore. Not even the man that I love.
Even with Jonah gone, he still manages to bruise me. He did this to me. He scarred me for life, hasn't he?
I hold the power button, shutting the phone off.
I was never strong enough to leave before things got terrible with Jonah. Despite how much he used to hurt and lie to me. I’m stronger now.
"Maybe you guys just need a break," Natalie says. "You're not well enough for this crap." She turns a corner and sighs, muttering something in Spanish, " Y yo también lo estaba apoyando."
Too tired to ask what it means, I hum a yes. Just a little break. It's all we need. A little break. A weeny break.
"On the bright news," Natalie looks up at the rearview mirror, dark brown eyes wide with excitement. I know it's only to cheer my gloomy mood.
She cheeses. "Your college decisions got sent to my house today!"