10. Nadine
10
NADINE
N adine sat in the back of the cab, her fingers tapping nervously on her lap. She looked out the window, watching the city pass by, but her mind was focused on one person: Cassandra Wynter.
Cassandra was beautiful, and had a strong and undeniable presence in Nadine’s world. Nadine felt a deep connection with her, especially now. Sexually and otherwise. There was something so powerful between them. But lately, Nadine felt defeated. No matter how close they got physically, Cassandra still seemed to hold something back.
It made Nadine feel annoyed and confused. They had so much in common. They were both driven, creative, and passionate about fashion. Yet Cassandra wouldn’t let her guard down. That conversation in the hotel last night had really bothered Nadine. Why was it so hard for them to connect on a deeper level?
As the cab turned another corner, Nadine decided she couldn’t let the feeling eat away at her anymore. She knew she had to confront Cassandra about it. It wasn’t fair to either of them to keep pretending everything was perfect when it wasn’t. Nadine wanted more than just physical encounters.
What ’ s going on with you, Cassandra? Nadine thought, her green eyes reflecting her determination. She wished she could understand why it was so challenging for the older woman to be vulnerable with her. It was time to find out what was really missing between them. She couldn’t wait any longer.
As they approached an intersection, the cab seemed to inch through the late afternoon traffic. Nadine peered out at the crowded sidewalks. People rushed by, lost in their own stories, completely unaware of her struggles. She tapped her fingers against her knee again, feeling the weight of what was to come. How should she start? Would Cassandra be receptive to her words, or would she retreat even further?
“Just be honest, Nadine,” she muttered to herself. “You deserve to know where this is going.” She had to remember that she was strong. She’d built Pulse Media from the ground up, overcoming every obstacle in her path. But this? This was something different. This was about the heart, and it was the messiest problem she’d ever faced.
Finally, the cab pulled up in front of a chic building with large glass windows. Nadine paid the driver and stepped out. She adjusted her blazer again, taking a moment to breathe. She couldn’t let her nerves take control.
Nadine marched into the sleek office of Cassandra Wynter, her rival and collaborator. Just the night before, they’d fought in a hotel room, and Nadine still felt like she was carrying the weight of that argument with her. She was desperate for some sort of resolution.
The air between them felt heavy, and Nadine couldn’t shake the anger she felt. Just the day before, they’d shared a nice dinner together, and so much passion, and Nadine had thought maybe, just maybe, they were getting closer. But now, standing in Cassandra’s office, Nadine felt the distance between them more than ever.
Cassandra was her collaborator, and Nadine had hoped for more. For weeks, they’d worked closely together, sharing ideas and laughs. There was a spark, something that made Nadine believe that maybe there was a chance for romance. But Cassandra seemed to put up a wall that Nadine couldn’t break through.
When Cassandra reluctantly agreed to the hotel, Nadine had felt a surge of hope that maybe this would be a turning point. But when the sex was over, Cassandra had kept her distance. She barely touched Nadine, almost avoiding her. And then, just before they went to bed, she’d suggested they should just leave it for the night. Nadine had been hurt and confused, and the surprise visit to Cassandra’s office was a last-ditch effort to figure things out.
“I thought we had something,” Nadine blurted out, her frustration spilling over. She felt like she was shouting, but she couldn’t help it. “You agreed to a hotel, and we shared… something incredible. And then, well for you to just say it was nothing. Meant nothing. I don’t believe you.”
Cassandra looked up from her papers, her expression unreadable. “Nadine, I…I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just need some space.”
“Space?” Nadine repeated, disbelief coloring her tone. “I thought we shared something real.”
Cassandra’s gaze dropped to her desk, avoiding eye contact. Nadine’s heart sank. Maybe she’d made a mistake by thinking they could be more than just friends and colleagues. In that moment, she realized that Cassandra likely just saw her as a partner in work and nothing more. But it just didn’t feel like that when they were alone together. The truth stung, and Nadine felt her anger mix with a deep sadness.
Just then, the door swung open, and Mia, Cassandra’s intern, stepped inside. She looked apologetic as her eyes darted between the two women, sensing the tension in the room. “I’m so sorry for interrupting. I didn’t know…” she started, but her voice trailed off.
Nadine shot a glance at Mia. “It’s fine, Mia. You didn’t know I’d be here, did you?” she snapped, annoyed at the interruption, but also at the situation. There was no point in pretending that everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t.
Mia looked frightened, unsure of how to react. “I can come back later…” she offered timidly, not wanting to stay in a room thick with unresolved feelings.
“No, don’t do that,” Nadine said sharply. “Cassandra and I have some…important things to talk about. Some fucking things that need to be said.” Her innuendo hung in the air, an awkward admission in the office setting.
Cassandra’s face turned a bright shade of red, and Nadine felt a wave of satisfaction. It was one thing to be closed off, but it was another for Cassandra to hide her true feelings.
Mia nodded and stepped back, sensing that she should quietly leave the room. As she closed the door behind her, Nadine’s heart pounded. She glanced back at Cassandra, who was now sitting in silence, her expression a mixture of frustration and worry.
“Do you even like me, Cassandra?” Nadine asked, her voice softer now, though the hurt was still there. “Or am I just someone you work with and fuck when you feel like it? Someone who doesn’t matter outside of these walls?”
Cassandra finally looked at her, and for a moment Nadine thought she saw a flicker of emotion in her icy eyes. But it faded quickly, replaced by that familiar coolness. “Nadine, it’s not that simple,” she said, her voice steady. “I appreciate you as a collaborator, and, I don’t disagree that our sexual connection is powerful, but I…I don’t think I can be what you want me to be.”
The words hit Nadine like a slap. She felt exposed, like she’d laid her heart out for Cassandra, only to have it trampled. “So that’s it?” she asked, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “I thought there was something special between us.”
Cassandra’s gaze softened for a moment. “I didn’t mean to lead you on. Its not you, its me. I just…I have my reasons for being closed off. It’s complicated.”
Nadine couldn’t hold back her frustration any longer. “Complicated? Or just plain selfish? You can’t expect me to hang around while you keep your distance in public and rip my clothes off in private. If I’m not worth being seen with, then maybe I shouldn’t even be here.”
Cassandra’s blonde hair glinted with new hints of silver. She was used to being in charge, and Nadine could see the tension in her face as she tried to regain control of the situation. Nadine took a deep breath, her green eyes locking onto Cassandra’s cold gaze.
“Why are you here, Nadine?” Cassandra shot back, her tone sharp. “You shouldn’t just barge in like this.”
“I’m here because I’m hurt,” Nadine replied. “At first I thought you were hot and cold, but now I think you’re just cold as fucking ice. You try so hard to feel like your business success is your personal success, which you’ll never have if you stay closed off like this.”
Cassandra crossed her arms defensively. “You think this is about feelings?” she snapped. “Listen to yourself. Business and personal lives are just so separate for you, huh? You stalk me and weasel your way into places you would never be invited without me. You use people to boost your business. This is networking for you.”
Nadine felt the sting of those words. “Well, call it what you like, it’s not working for me.”
Cassandra just glared at her. Nadine laughed once, but she felt the tears behind her eyes. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m not trying to use you. I care about you, Cassandra. I want more.”
Cassandra frowned. “Caring is not enough. You have your goals, and I have mine.”
“I’m fine with my goals! Outside of how I have nobody to enjoy achieving them with.”
“You’re too young to understand the stakes.” Cassandra rolled her eyes.
“This isn’t just about business for me, Cassandra. The sex wasn’t just sex…there’s no way,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “But if you’re going to keep treating me like I’m your enemy?—”
“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before coming on too strong!” Cassandra interrupted. “I can’t lose control over my life because you think we can have a relationship and run our own businesses together. I’m not a marketing tool for you to play with.”
Every word struck Nadine hard. Hurt and frustration made it hard to breathe. “I’ve never tried to control you,” she said. “But this coldness…it’s too much. You act like you don’t care about me at all.”
Cassandra’s eyes narrowed. “You want to know what I care about?” She stood up, her posture stiff. “I care about the success of our project. I care about my company. I’m not going to let someone like you mess with my he?—”
Nadine cut her off, her voice rising. “You’re not fooling anyone. It’s pathetic how you try to maintain this cold exterior.”
Cassandra’s green eyes were cool and calculating, but Nadine saw the determination behind them. “Pathetic,” she echoed.
“Yes, pathetic!” Nadine paced the office, unable to contain her energy. “It’s a wonder your business is thriving at all when you refuse to let anyone in. You think your coldness is an asset, but it’s stunted everything you have…both personally and professionally.”
Nadine stopped pacing, facing Cassandra directly and demanding her attention. She couldn’t help but notice how the other woman’s walls were stronger than ever. The warmth they’d shared and the feeling of their bodies sliding against each other flooded her mind. It felt like an alternate universe.
“You know the truth. You’re not as strategic as you think you are. You can’t be vulnerable, and that’s keeping you locked in a prison of your own making.”
Cassandra finally met her gaze. “You think I want to be vulnerable?”
“I think you do,” Nadine insisted. “I think you are falling in love with me and you can’t accept it.” It was a theory she’d clung to because it hurt too much to think there could be any other explanation for Cassandra’s behavior.
The silence in the room thickened, tension subtly shifting as her words hung midair. Nadine struggled to read the emotions that passed across Cassandra’s face. “You need to understand something, Nadine,” Cassandra began, her tone softer but still guarded. “This isn’t just about us. There is so much at risk.”
“Risk?” Nadine laughed. “So you’d rather throw away everything we could have just because you’re scared? Look at how we act! We’re intimate with each other spontaneously and often in public. Why? Because you can’t think ahead. You turn your back on everything that matters the moment it gets too real for you. You avoid consequences, probably because you were raised to be perfect.”
Cassandra’s breath caught as Nadine continued. “You love this, don’t you? The drama. It makes you feel important. You like that you have the privilege to just run away just because it gets hard.”
“I’m protecting us, Nadine,” Cassandra replied, although the tremor in her voice showed the cracks in her armor.
“No,” Nadine pushed. “You’re hiding. Your protection is nothing more than a way to avoid your feelings.”
“Feelings,” Cassandra repeated with a sigh, her composure faltering for the briefest moment.
Nadine took a step back. “If you really think that’s all this is…a business failure…if you can’t see any chance for us, then I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what? Fuck around?”
Her voice trembled, but she stood tall. “I’m leaving the collaboration.”
Cassandra’s expression shifted from anger to shock, but Nadine didn’t stay to watch. She turned and walked out of the office. The chance of a relationship with Cassandra felt more impossible than ever.
She couldn’t believe it was all over. She tried to decide what was a greater loss—love or furthering her career. The collaboration that was supposed to be a launching pad for her career in the fashion industry had crumbled before her. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, hoping no one would notice the tearstains on her cheeks. But in the crowded elevator, she stood facing a group of strangers, and despite her best efforts, a few tears slipped down her face.
As the elevator dinged and opened up to the lobby, she rushed out like a deer caught in the headlights. The lobby was filled with bright lights and busy people, all moving with purpose. Nadine felt small and invisible. She walked out of the glass doors and onto the bustling New York City street, her mind full of regret.
With every step she took, Nadine’s chest felt tighter. She glanced at couples strolling hand in hand, laughing and sharing moments that seemed so easy and carefree. Suddenly, the world around her seemed too bright, too loud, and too happy. She thought about how she’d just messed up the biggest opportunity of her life. She’d spoiled the chance to work with one of the most influential people in fashion…all because her feelings had gotten in the way. Wasn’t she supposed to be tough in a field like this? Instead, she felt weak and reckless.
The city was chaotic. New Yorkers rushed past her, their faces buried in their phones or engaged in noisy conversations with friends. Nadine felt a mix of anger and envy as she watched them go about their lives, so lighthearted and full of energy. Each happy couple made her heart ache a little more. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to push away the hurt.
Finally, she pulled out her phone, her fingers trembling a bit as she hit the number for her marketing team. This felt like the perfect moment to show her strength, even if it was just a small effort to regain some control over her career.
“Hey, it’s Nadine,” she said as soon as her marketing coordinator picked up. Her voice sounded shaky, and she heard a hint of confusion on the other end.
“Hi, Nadine! Are we still moving forward with the Wynter Media collaboration?” the coordinator asked enthusiastically.
Nadine hesitated, her throat tightening. “Um, about that—” she started to explain, but her words tripped over themselves, her thoughts scattering uselessly. She recalled the trends that they’d been talking about. They’d seemed so right just last season, but now they felt outdated to her, especially after her meeting with Cassandra. “Forget it. Just…just call them out on their outdated trends like we talked about before,” she said, stumbling over her own sentences.
“Wait, what do you mean?” the marketing coordinator asked, clearly puzzled. “I thought we were collaborating with them?”
Nadine felt a rush of panic. She didn’t want to explain herself again. Her stomach twisted with anxiety as she realized she’d jumped the gun. “No, it’s fine,” she rushed to say. “Just ignore what I said. Forget it.”
“What do you want me to do, then?” the marketing coordinator pressed gently.
Nadine sighed, rubbing her temples as if that would somehow ease her swirling thoughts. Everything was a mess, and here she was, making it worse. “I don’t know,” she mumbled, feeling drained. “Just…never mind, okay? I’ll call you later.”
With that, she hung up, feeling more isolated than ever. She shoved her phone deep into her pocket and picked up her pace, the sound of her heels tapping against the pavement echoing her frustration. She didn’t know where she was going, but it didn’t matter. She just needed to keep moving.
As the skyscrapers loomed over her, Nadine took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside her. The sky was a brilliant blue, but all she could see were the shadows of her failures. She didn’t understand how she could ever find her way in this cutthroat industry again. The world felt so big and daunting. All she wanted was one glimmer of hope, but it was buried beneath all the noise and the chaos of New York City’s hustle and bustle.
Through her tears, she promised herself she would pick up the pieces. She would find a way to stand back up, but for now, walking swiftly down the street, she felt lost in a city that moved too quickly for her broken heart.