Chapter Nineteen
Confrontations, Confessions, and Cleared Names
Elliot
When the bell rings, I rush towards the door because Sam is gearing up to watch the next episode of his trashy reality show. My countless groans and complaints were completely going unnoticed.
I jump at the opportunity. If I’m lucky, it’s another killer here to abduct me again. I don’t even check the peephole, I'm so excited. So I’m not prepared when I come face-to-face with Nicholas. Well, face to neck with.
His hand is trained on the bell, biceps bulging under his plain black T-shirt.
He has dark spots under his eyes and a deep frown between his eyebrows.
Is he not sleeping well? He always does that when he has too much work, which is always.
He needs an incentive to rest, and I’d found many mutually beneficial ones that worked wonders.
I want to jump him as soon as I see him, no matter what happened between us the last time we were together. No matter how, he still hadn’t apologized for everything.
My heartbeat picks up, my body getting warm in anticipation. We stand there staring at each other until a throat clears behind me, making both of us jump.
“You.” Nicholas points behind me. I turn to look at Sam standing there with a smirk on his face. “I need to talk to you,” he growls.
I block his view of Sam. At least, I try my best to. Can’t help it if the guy is a giant. But he’s not reaching Sam, not without going through me first.
“It’s okay, El. I was expecting him.”
I frown at Sam while Nicholas stands motionless. Right, I’m blocking the door. He doesn’t want to accidentally touch me. No, I can’t think about that right now. “Are you sure?” I ask Sam.
He nods. So, I step aside and let Nicholas in. He doesn’t look at me as he passes, keeping his eyes down. It takes a second to sink in that he isn’t here to see me. Of course, he isn’t. This visit is about his case. It was always about his case.
I lean back against the door, closing my eyes to give my heart time to calm the fuck down. Ugh, this would all be so much easier if I were planning to kill the werewolf I was trying not to show my feelings to. This. This is impossible.
Taking a deep breath, I follow them in. Whatever was left of my heart slowly breaks with each step.
“Wait, you said you were expecting him?” I ask Sam as he flops down on the couch.
Nicholas sits in a chair. I stare down at Sam.
“Did I? I don’t remember that.”
Nicholas raises his eyebrows at him. “You definitely did. Why were you expecting me? Because you’re guilty?” He gives me a pointed look.
I ignore him. “Sam?”
“Because I know you were following me,” Sam says hesitantly.
“You were following him? I asked you— Fuck, you know what, I don’t even care anymore. You obviously don’t care either.” I swallow the overwhelming feelings trying to make their way out. I won’t give him the satisfaction.
“Elliot, I—”
“Don’t want to hear it,” I say, taking a seat next to Sam. This is clearly an interrogation, and it should be clear which side of the table I’m on.
Nicholas gives me a pleading look, which I don’t understand. Does it even matter? Then he turns to Sam, narrowing his eyes. “Wait, how did you know I was following you?”
How did Sam know that? Nicholas followed me around for months without me ever realizing it. Sam isn’t even good at fieldwork.
“Because I’m smart?”
We both stare at him in disbelief.
Sam sighs. “Fine. I have a tracker on your car.” He raises his palms defensively before Nicholas can say anything. “I only placed it because I care about you, okay? That’s what I do. I’m weird.”
I nod. “He is weird.”
“Or a criminal mastermind?” Nicholas says.
Sam points at him. “That too.”
“So, you admit it? You continued killing werewolves after Elliot retired?”
Sam frowns in confusion. “What? Is that why you were following me? Fuck, Nick. Of course, not. That’s so stupid.”
Nicholas frowns too, then shakes his head. “Why should I believe you? You don’t have any alibis for the murders, and you were meeting the only known son of a very well-known criminal.”
“Wait, Raymond Booth is a well-known criminal?” Sam asks. Because yeah, what the fuck?
“So, you do know him,” Nicholas accuses.
Sam laughs. “El, babe? Do you want to take this one before your boyfriend arrests me because you don’t want to tell him about your past?”
My gaze meets Nicholas’s confused one. When he doesn't object to Sam calling him my boyfriend, hope flares in my chest. But he still hasn’t said anything to me, and that doesn’t bode well for our future. Still, he deserves to know the truth.
“Besides, I do have alibis for both murders. I told you about the secret mission with the Coast Guard,” Sam says.
Nicholas turns to him. “There’s no record of that. I checked.” Of course, he did. Why would he trust someone just because I asked him to?
“Well, duh. It’s all under the table. I told you that. They removed all my arrest records in exchange. Jeez, Nick, you could have just asked. And before you play your broken record of not believing me, I’ll call my handler, and you can talk to him yourself."
While the call rings, I keep my eyes fixed on my hand. So, nothing has changed. Nicholas just came here to talk to Sam, after I expressly told him not to. He continued investigating Sam after I asked him to give me some time to prove his innocence.
No, everything has changed. Because Nicholas didn’t just refuse to trust me, this time he broke my trust, too.
When the phone connects, Sam explains the situation to the man on the other end. They laugh at Nicholas’s accusation. Then he talks to Nicholas after he has noted down his badge number and station. He vouches for Sam’s presence for a confidential matter, taking complete responsibility for him.
Since none of this is official police business, Nicholas keeps the call short. Then we’re all sitting in my quiet living room, now tainted by betrayal and regret.
“I’m going to find some other place to sleep,” Sam says, getting up.
“Wait, no. I—”
“Babe, you need to tell him.” Sam gives me a meaningful look.
Then he’s gone.
We sit there for what feels like hours without any words exchanged. I can't even look at Nicholas, even though I know he deserves the truth now that his case is tangled up in all this. But where should I even start? I can’t be vulnerable right now without breaking down completely. I can’t even—
“I was coming to see you when Meena called me about the Raymond thing.” Nicholas breaks the silence, his voice so raw that I don’t even think of questioning him. “I had to see you, Elliot. Baby, I—”
“Don’t. Just don’t say that.” I meet his gaze despite knowing my face would betray everything. Once I do, I can’t look away. He looks lost. Defeated. I want to wrap him in my arms and comfort him.
I avert my eyes from the paused screen in front of me. Two women sitting before a bonfire.
“Do you believe me? That I wasn’t coming here to talk to Sam. But once she told me who he was meeting, I had to know. Fuck, Elliot. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. But please… Please believe me.”
I nod without looking at him.
“I know you think I don’t trust you. That I think you need my protection.
That I don’t love… I don’t love you.” My gaze flies to his.
“You’re wrong, Elliot. You’re so fucking wrong about everything.
I was in shock that day. Then I convinced myself you didn’t want me anymore.
But there’s only one truth, Elliot. Baby, you’re mine. To protect and to love.”
My breath hitches at his words. I want to hate them, but fuck, I can’t.
“And not because you need it. You don’t.
Are you kidding? You’re the most badass human I know, and I work in the human police department.
You’re so fucking smart. And so mean. And so strong.
And you’re all mine. I will protect you because you have me, okay?
All of me. And that’s what I do for the people I love. Guess I’m weird too, huh?”
His words wash over me, easing some of the pain that's been festering since the day I left his apartment. “You didn’t trust me,” I say because, as much as it hurts, I can’t start something that’ll inevitably end. Not again.
He kneels in front of me and takes my hands in his.
I let him because I’m not strong enough to fight his affection.
I never was. “I do. Elliot, I really, really do. But when I had to pick between protecting you and trusting you, I really had no choice. I was wrong, but I know if I had to make that choice again, I’d betray you again and again if it meant you’d be safe.
” A tear streams down his face. “I can’t live if anything happens to you.
You have to know that, Elliot. You have to. ”
I wipe his cheek with my other thumb while he peers at me hopefully. I cup his cheek, his beard pickling my palm, making me feel alive for the first time in a very long time. “I do. But you can’t do that again.”
He shakes his head, lowering it.
I pull it back up so he has to look at me. “Nicholas, I need you to trust me. I need to trust that you’ll always trust me.”
He looks at me for a second. When I’m sure he’ll refuse again, he nods. “Okay.”
I smile down at him. He gets on his feet and closes the gap between us, his lips landing on mine, hungry and desperate. I don’t know if that one word is enough to wipe away everything he did or to believe he really trusts me now. But I know he’ll try, and that has to be enough for now.
Besides, the way my arms pull him in as I lie down on the couch, all without my permission, I don’t feel like I have a say here anyway. I was always helpless against him.
“I love you so fucking much,” he murmurs against my lips. I swallow his confession, letting it reach my very core. I feel drunk on it.
He pulls back, staring at me with intensity that sends shivers down my spine. “You're not allowed to get angry at me again.”
I snort and brush his loose strands back with my fingers. “We'll see about that.”
Lowering his head, he lightly bites my neck. “You still love me, right?”