Chapter 31
SYDNEY
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I quickly twist my head away and act as if I wasn’t just staring at him for the hundredth time today as he walks out of the bedroom wearing nothing but his swimming trunks.
After the dinner last night, we decided not to wait any longer before flying out to the States. Lawson pulled some strings and got us on the first flight out.
I’m currently surviving on enough sugar to stock an entire candy store, hopped up on the memories of last night and the echo of words I’d only dreamed of. Meanwhile he’s strutting around like the last twenty four hours hasn’t completely changed things for him. For us.
And of course he looks ridiculously handsome while doing it.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
There’s a shuffling sound before my book is ripped from my hands. I shoot a look up at him, but he ignores it as he slips my bookmark into place and sets our book club’s newest read on the coffee table.
Turning back to me, he leans over, caging me between his arms. “You are not as sneaky as you think you are, sunshine.”
“What are you talking about? I’m a world class ninja. You still haven’t figured out—”
“That you’ve been slowly bedazzling Shadow’s food and water bowls?”
My eyebrows furrow. “Okay, but you still haven’t picked up on—”
“The little touches of pink around the house?” I full on pout, crossing my arms over my chest and he chuckles, prying them apart before sitting and pulling me to straddle his hips. “Don’t be upset, sweetheart. There’s nothing you could do that I wouldn’t notice.”
“Not true.”
“So true.”
“Oh yeah?”
He hums, leaning forward and nuzzling his face into my neck. “I have spent more than half my life watching you, my love.”
“Well, now that just sounds creepy when you say it that way.”
Chuckling, he leans back against the couch and settles his hands on my hips. “I thought creepy was your thing. I mean, I’ve seen the books you’ve started piling in the corner of the bedroom.”
“That is totally different and you know it.”
“Is it though? Are you saying the tall, dark, devilishly handsome, and slightly dangerous man isn’t your type?”
Rolling my eyes, I lean into his chest and run my fingers through his dark, wavy locks. “Devilishly handsome, huh?”
“I’ve been told I’m quite the looker once or twice.”
I straighten my back, my brows dipping. “By who? When? I mean, they’re not wrong but also, why are they saying this to you? You clearly know how good looking you are, a person would be blind not to see it… but, that doesn’t mean they need to hang all over you and tell you how handsome you are.”
He wraps his arms back around my back and pulls me hard against him, smiling against my lips. “Is someone jealous?”
“No. Yes. Maybe.”
“I think you are.”
“There’s a small chance… that I might be… you know, a little jealous.”
Lifting his hand, he tucks a blonde curl behind my ear. “You know you have nothing to worry about, right? There’s no other woman for me. Never has been and never will be. Only you, sunshine.”
“I know,” I murmur.
He dips his head, catching my eye. “Do you really?”
This has always been my one downfall.
I never thought I would be enough. Never thought he would want me just for me, as I am, when others have made me feel so little.
A ridiculous diet built on sugar.
Uncensored and mostly inappropriate comments.
Unhinged and impulsive ideas that I tend to lock onto until I do them.
Big feelings that sometimes take over me completely until I’m at their mercy.
I’ve been told that I can be too much sometimes. That not all silences need to be filled with my incessant ramblings about whether or not dogs dream in full sentences like humans do or if their dreams are silent. Seriously, I need to know.
“Sunshine, look at me.”
I blink, falling still as the warmth of his dark eyes rolls over me and a thought trickles in, evaporating the fears of my past brought on by those who weren’t worthy enough to lay them on my shoulders.
Because Lawson isn’t them.
Instead of trying to change who I was, he would be right by my side.
Eating our—okay my—feelings until our stomachs ached.
Baiting me into a verbal spar that would have any proper lady clutching her pearls.
Holding my hand and whispering words of encouragement when I would inevitably do something risky, but totally worth the fun and cool story I’d share with my kids someday.
Bringing me our special treats and suffering through my ‘terrible film tastes’ when sometimes the feelings got too much.
Filling the silences by asking his own absurd questions and even making the ones that remained empty feel full just by existing in them with me.
Lawson Moore has never purposefully made me feel small. And it’s one of the reasons I quickly fell under his spell all those years ago.
Because with him, I didn’t need to pretend to be anything or anyone else.
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”
I sigh, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his addictive lips. “I really don’t want to be the needy girlfriend, but—”
“I love you.”
I sit back with wide eyes. “How did you know that’s what I wanted to hear?”
He smirks. “Because I know you.”
I bite my lip and trace the tattoos on his chest. “Tell me this is real. That I haven’t just made it all up in my head,” I whisper.
Shifting back, he looks at me with furrowed brows and my fingers itch to smooth out the offensive line on his handsome face.
“Do you doubt how I feel about you?”
“No, but—”
“I can run up to the rooftop if you want and yell it for all of Miami to hear.”
I giggle and push against his chest. “Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you’re it for me, Sydney Collins.”
My heart skips and I tuck my lips. There he goes again, declaring things I’ve only ever dreamed of hearing.
Does he not know how much it affects me?
How it breathes life into me as well as has my nerves shuttering in fear that it can all fade back to the reality where he was him and I was me, watching him from a distance and waiting for the day he would see me for more than just his best friend’s little sister?
“You love me,” I whisper.
His face softens and his lips tip up. “I do. With every single part of my being.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“What wasn’t supposed to happen?”
“This was supposed to be fake. I was supposed to help the world fall in love with you—”
“And you did. But while they fell for me I was busy falling even more for you.”
“More?”
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve felt this way for longer than I truly know. I think a part of me has loved you since the day you first skipped across the street in your pink tutu to hand me the last of your candy.”
“You remember that?”
“How could I ever forget it? Even then you were the light that shined through my darkness, determined to pull me into its warmth. You have been my guiding light, Sydney. My anchor when the seas get rough. My salvation when the war rages in my head. My muse every time I pick up my pencil.”
“Lawson,” I whisper and he brushes his thumbs over my cheeks, collecting the traitorous tears.
“You broke through every barrier I built around my broken and bruised heart and brought it back to life. You are my saving grace, Sydney Collins.” He leans forward and presses his forehead against mine. “I have many regrets in my life, but the biggest is staying away from you as long as I have.”
“You don’t have to stay away any longer.”
“And why’s that?”
I smile, sniffling and trace my nose over his. “Because now that I know you love me, I won’t let you.”
“Is that a promise?”
I lean back and hold out my pinky. “It’s a pinky promise.”
He wraps his finger around mine and pulls me in, kissing me deeply. I pull back breathlessly and my eyes dance between his. “I love you too.”
He huffs a laugh and pulls me in for another fierce kiss. “I hope you truly mean that, sunshine. Because now that I have you, I’m never letting you go,” he says against my lips.
“Is that a promise?” I mock.
“Pinky promise,” he breathes before slanting his mouth over mine.
I fall into the kiss, holding onto him tight as I frantically try to memorize this moment.
Lawson Moore loves me.
Unapologetically.
Fiercely.
Unrestrained.
Because together, we can face anything and come out the other side even stronger. Together, we are unstoppable. Together, we are the perfect balance.
“Move in with me,” he says hurriedly and I giggle.
“Why does that sound more like a demand and less like a question?”
He huffs a laugh. “Because, in all honesty, I’m not really asking.”
“Someone is quite bossy today.”
“You like when I boss you around.”
I roll my lips and push at his shoulder playfully. He chuckles, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me farther on his lap. “Move in with me.”
“When?”
“I’d say tomorrow but we have a few things going on this weekend that might make that kind of hard.”
“Like an ocean between us and home?”
“Yeah, like that and this weird race that I apparently hold the record for in wins.”
“Don’t think you’re that special, mister. I have everyone’s records memorized.”
“Sure you do.”
“I do.”
He hums and I take a mental image of the easy, goofy smile on his lips. “When we get home, then. We have a three week summer break. It’s perfect.”
“You think it’s going to take me three weeks to move my things across the street? How many clothes do you think I have?”
“I’ve already cleared out the main closet and one in the spare room for you. Figured you could switch them out for each season.”
My jaw drops. “You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”
“Ever since the first night you slept in my bed.”
I grin. “You really do love me.”
“Yeah, sunshine, I really do love you.”
“Can I decorate?”
“However you want. Whatever your heart desires, it’s yours. Make our house a home.”
“What if I want a pink living room?”
“We can start looking at color swatches tomorrow if you want.”
“Seriously?” I laugh.
“You can do whatever you want to our home. As long as you’re there and happy, I don’t care if all the walls are pink or if the pillows are heart shaped. Hell, we can order that dog bed castle I’ve seen you look at once or twice at the pet store if you want.”
“A distinguished gentleman like Shadow deserves to sleep in style.”
“That he does.” He smiles. “So what do you say?”
“I thought you weren’t asking?” Leaning forward, I wrap my arms around his neck and speak against his lips. “Of course I’ll move in with you.”
“Thank fuck.”
I squeal when he stands, throwing me over his shoulder. He starts walking towards the bedroom of our suite. He throws me on the bed and I bounce, giggling.
His long, toned body covers mine and I throw my head back as he ravages my neck, his hands slipping to my sides.
“We are so going to be late to meet them at the beach.”
“Where the hell have you two been?” Cassie calls out as we walk hand in hand down the beach to where they’ve set up camp.
Lawson chuckles, and I smile. “Sorry, I was just so tired from the flight over.”
Blake looks over the edge of her sunglasses at us with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah. I’m sure it’s the flight that made you tired.”
I blush as I help Lawson set up our chairs and towels, ignoring the knowing looks from the girls as I sit down.
“Uncle Lawson!” a voice calls from the water and we all look up to see our favorite little rascals sprinting towards us.
“Dad’s teaching us to body surf the waves. Can you do it too?” Beckham and Cooper bounce on their toes, water dripping down the vests and water shorts.
“Can I? Who do you think taught your father how to do it?”
He quickly dips down, kissing my cheek and stowing his sunglasses and shirt in my beach bag. Scooping each boy under his arms, he takes off in a sprint towards the water. I watch as he throws himself into a wave, the boys squealing with laughter.
“Oh, I know that look.”
I reluctantly look away from the display worthy of bursting my ovaries and turn my head towards the girls. Three smiling faces stare back at me.
“What look?”
“The blissfully in love look,” Kinsley says, taking a bite of watermelon.
Cassie snorts. “I think that’s more of a ‘freshly fucked and still ready for more’ look.”
“No, it’s definitely a ‘I want to have that man’s babies like yesterday’ look,” Blake remarks. “It’s the same one Kinsley had and now look at her.”
We all glance at her large round belly and break out laughing.
“Well, yeah. Have you seen my husband?”
“Gross, that’s my brother.”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She turns to Blake and Cassie. “Have you seen my husband?”
They both nod and I gag as they boast about his hotness and how it would be a crime not to bring both his and Kinsley’s beautifulness together.
“So, how is it going?” Cassie asks, drawing the conversation to something slightly less traumatizing.
“Good.”
“Good?” Her head jerks back. “You’re finally with the man you’ve wanted for years and all you give me is ‘good?’”
I take a long sip of my strawberry lemonade that said man handmade for me and sigh dramatically. Dropping my head back against the chair, I roll it to the side and smile at my three best friends.
“It’s amazing.”
They all cheer and I giggle.
Cassie pops up to her knees. “Okay, but how’s you know…”
“She wants to know if you’ve finally popped a certain fruit,” Blake says, rolling her eyes.
“I will tell you this. I am so happy that I waited.”
The girls squeal, drawing the attention of the guys as they walk over.
“What are we geeking out over?” Jace asks. “Come on, you know I don’t like being left out. FOMO runs strong in my veins.”
Cassie opens her mouth and I shoot up in my seat with wide eyes. “I told them that I’m moving in with Lawson.”
All heads whip to me and I give Lawson an apologetic smile. He chuckles, wiping his towel over his head.
“Oh, that’s it?”
I look over at my brother with furrowed brows.
“I’m sorry, was that news not up to your excitement standards?”
He shrugs, popping a piece of fruit into his mouth. “I mean, you practically live there anyway.”
Everyone voices their agreements and I scowl, grunting a little when Lawson picks me up, only to sit down and settle me on his lap. “Well I think it’s celebration worthy,” I mumble.
“I thought we already celebrated it,” Lawson whispers, nipping at my shoulder. “Twice.”
I squeak and feel his chuckle vibrate through his chest.
“Okay, fine. Then how is this for exciting news,” Cassie says, sifting through her bag. She turns back to us and lifts her hand. “I’m getting married!”
Blake does a spit take and Ryder pats her back.
Jace chokes on his bite of watermelon, sputtering as he bangs his fist on his chest.
My neck cracks with the force I use to whip my head around with my jaw dropped.
Now that is something none of us saw coming.