Chapter 11 - Asher
The entire day after the ketchup incident, my stomach was in knots.
Something felt different and I couldn’t quite pin it down.
When he’d touched me, my whole body had felt electrified.
Lightning had shot through me. I didn’t know what to make of it and I didn’t understand what was happening.
I’d never felt that way about a guy before.
Besides, Micah and I were friends. It would be like having a crush on Jackson. Not happening.
Jackson came by during his lunch break the next day to keep me company for a little while and I was grateful for the reprieve from my thoughts and from being alone.
Around lunchtime, he knocked on the front door and before I could even call out to let him know the door was open, he burst into the living room like he was a one-man surprise party.
“You will never believe the date I had last night,” he said instead of saying hello to me like a normal person.
I sighed deeply. “Why is it your dates are always doomed from the beginning?”
Jackson scoffed and dropped onto the couch dramatically.
“I don’t know, but I believe in love. One day I’ll find my Prince Charming.
Anyway, he’s an athlete, right? Apparently, he’s big into ultra-marathons.
Long-distance running. So, he’s telling me all about his most recent ultra and how sometimes runners lose their toenails.
And then he pulled off his shoes and socks to show me said missing toenails. ”
I covered my mouth with my hand and fake retched. “Tell me you at least found this out before dinner.”
“Worse. At dinner. He took his shoes off right there in the restaurant.”
I closed my eyes for a brief moment. “That’s disgusting.”
Jackson laughed. “All in a day’s work. If you want to find a Prince, you’ve got to be willing to kiss a few frogs, and all that.”
“I think this goes beyond frogs.”
He hummed and shrugged again. “Anyway, what’s new in your life?”
“Absolutely nothing of interest.”
“Liar,” he shot back. “Come on, give me something. Make it up if you have to.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know. Honestly.”
“How are things with you and Micah?”
“Micah?” My voice sounded weirdly high-pitched. “Things are great.”
“Uh-huh. I can tell when you’re lying.”
“I’m not! It’s just… it’s weird, you know?”
“Weird how?”
“Him helping me shower and change and do all these things. It’s… I don’t get a lot of privacy.”
Jackson frowned. “Is this about jerking off?”
I rolled my eyes. “No.”
“Okay,” Jackson said with a laugh.
“It’s just really uncomfortable being around him all the time. I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“What do you mean, uncomfortable?”
“I almost kissed him last night,” I admitted.
Jackson’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”
I shrugged. “It’s not, like, a big deal. Is it?”
A moment passed before he snorted and started to laugh and shake his head. “Sounds like you’ve been reading romance novels in your spare time. Or watching rom-coms. Ooh, you didn’t watch that new one without me, did you?”
“Jackson, focus.”
“No, really. You had me going there for a second. You really did.” I sighed in defeat, and Jackson stopped laughing and looked at me curiously. “Wait, are you serious?”
“I am.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah.” A beat passed before I spoke again. “Now what?”
Jackson hesitated. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“I want to kiss him,” I said without hesitation.
“Does he want to kiss you?”
I frowned. “I don’t know. It’s not like we’ve talked about it.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Well, maybe you should talk about it.” An alarm went off on his phone and Jackson stood.
“That’s the end of my lunch break. I’ve got to run.
But don’t worry too much. If it happens, it happens, right?
If you get all up in your head about it, you’re just going to overthink things. ”
“Yeah,” I said, not at all convinced. “Thanks for talking it over with me.”
“Anytime, sweetheart.” He blew me a kiss and winked as he headed out the door.
I stewed over our conversation for the rest of the day, thinking again and again about the previous night, the near-miss, and how I was feeling about it. By the time Micah was home, I’d resolved to talk to him about it.
I chickened out.
As we had dinner and watched TV, I couldn’t bring myself to speak up. What was I going to say? “Hey, let’s kiss?” It sounded ridiculous. After the show ended, I sighed and pushed myself to standing. “I think it’s bedtime for me.”
Micah nodded and stood. “Let’s get you in bed then. Lead the way.”
I made my way down the hallway and Micah stood outside the door while I changed.
Once I was ready for bed, he came in and offered his shoulder for me to lean on so I could climb into my needlessly tall bed.
If I’d learned anything from this situation, it was that my bed didn’t need to be so goddamned tall.
When I was in, blanket over my lap, he hesitated for a second. “All set?”
My face heated and I cleared my throat, trying to gather the courage to say something, anything. “Almost.”
He frowned. “What’s up?”
I looked at him, our gazes finally meeting, and my stomach flipped, butterflies flooding me. Just say something already. I took a deep breath. “I just…”
And instead of finishing my sentence, I reached out, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him in close.
The moment our lips met, electricity raced through me.
My skin tingled where we touched and my gut flipped and twisted with nervous excitement.
Micah inhaled sharply and leaned in slightly, and as he did, his scent filled me, making me dizzy.
He parted his lips and I followed suit. Before the kiss could get any deeper, I pulled away, and when I looked at him again, his eyes were wide, an expression on his face I couldn’t interpret.
Regret slammed into me. The possibility I’d crossed a line that he wasn’t interested in crossing felt too real at that moment. “I am so sorry.” My apology came out at barely more than a whisper.
Micah cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing hard. “It’s fine. Um, I’m going to go to bed. Call if you need anything. Night.” And then he was gone, closing the door behind himself.
As soon as he was gone, I let out a deep exhale. I’d wanted to kiss him, but I hadn’t really planned on acting on it, had I? It didn’t matter anymore what I’d planned on doing. Without thinking too hard, I’d reached out, pulled Micah close, put my lips to his, and kissed him.
And I’d liked it. A lot.
I picked up my phone and opened my latest text chain with Jackson.
Asher: You awake?
He answered immediately.
Jackson: Yeah. What’s up?
I took a deep breath and tapped out my confession. No dancing around it. I just ripped off the bandage.
Asher: I kissed Micah.
His response was a string of emojis and exclamation points, followed by a GIF of someone’s head exploding, and another of two people holding each other and dancing with joy.
Jackson: Tell me everything.
Asher: I don’t know. He was helping me get into bed and something came over me and… I kissed him.
Jackson: How did he react?
Asher: He ran. Immediately.
Jackson: Ouch.
Asher: Yeah. What do I do now?
Jackson: Well… how do you feel?
I thought for a moment. How did I feel? I felt electric. I felt alive. I felt like I wanted more.
Asher: Like I want to do it again.
Jackson: Then I guess you need to talk to him.
I frowned at my phone. That wasn’t much help.
I still didn’t know what to do. I put my phone on the nightstand, frustrated.
After sighing deeply, I picked up the little remote to turn off the overhead light—a luxury Micah had installed the day after he moved in—and pressed the button, plunging the room into darkness.
Pulling the blanket up to my shoulders, I sighed again.
I turned to look out the window at the moonlight filtering in through the blinds and wondered what Micah was doing.
I forced my eyes closed and waited for sleep to take me.
The next morning, I woke with renewed interest in independence.
For possibly obvious reasons, I wasn’t sure I wanted to rely on Micah to help me get out of my too-tall bed and into the shower.
It was to no avail. My ribs and hip ached, zinging with pain as I tried to slide out of bed.
I let out a groan of frustration and discomfort and gave up, waiting.
Before I’d had a chance to re-evaluate my life and maybe make a plan, Micah knocked twice on my door and pushed it open.
“Rise and shine.” He stepped into the room but held back, lingering in the doorway, where he’d usually burst in, a ray of sunshine and energy that even I couldn’t resist. Apparently in more ways than one.
My breath caught in my throat and I nodded slowly. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could decide what to say, Micah spoke in a rush.
“Look, let’s just put it behind us, okay?
No big deal. Things happen. No worries at all.
We can forget it ever happened.” He bustled over to my closet and pulled out a fresh shirt for me before bringing it to the bed.
I waited silently, heart in my throat, as he rummaged through my dresser, pulling out a pair of boxers and athletic shorts.
When he’d placed them at the foot of my bed, he looked at me again. “Shower today, or no?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a slow breath. “I’m sorry.”
Micah froze, his brow furrowed. “What?”
“For kissing you without permission. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked, instead of just doing it. Consent is important and I’m sorry.”
“Um…”
“Listen. I… I’m attracted to you. And it seems like you’re attracted to me, too. I liked it, kissing you. And I think you did too. And I want to do it again, if that’s okay.”