Chapter 14 #2
“Holy shit, this is really good,” Nate said, as if to himself, before registering that Connor had asked him something. “Oh, uh, yeah. I did, Thanks, you know, for not…”
His voice trailed off awkwardly, and though Nate tried to cover it up by taking another bite of coffee cake, Connor wasn’t so clueless as to not know what he was referring to.
“Yeah, of course. I’m glad you told me.”
He straightened the stack of papers together by tapping the edge twice against the printer, then stapled everything together before setting it all down on Nate’s desk.
Almost like any other morning.
“Your 10 AM cancelled, by the way. I’ve got a feeling they have one foot out the door, so we should think about ways to keep them on.”
“Yeah, I’ve been getting that impression.
Uh, what do you say we give them some special attention the next couple weeks?
I’m thinking, uh, maybe hitting up finance for some reports on our recent, uh, earnings through the end of last quarter.
Compile that, make it look nice, we’ll bring it up as a surprise next meeting? Maybe take them to lunch.”
“Good idea.” Connor grabbed a pen and scribbled Nate’s plans down on a notepad on his desk, setting it down with a sigh.
For a moment, Nate paced between their desks, clearly deep in thought about something. Connor could see him eyeing the coffee cake in his hands as he finished it.
“Can I ask you… what’s the deal with–uh, with…” Nate’s voice trailed off, and Connor frowned from his desk, not totally following.
Until he did.
“You mean, Junie?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s a friend,” Connor said, habitually vague before catching himself, feeling his expression waver, making the split-second decision to let down his guard. “She’s my closest friend. Closest thing I have to family in California.”
“Oh.” Nate’s expression was unreadable as he bit his cheek. “You just hadn’t mentioned her–”
“Officially, yeah, we’re not supposed to be talking the way we do.
Other directors get intimidated by the idea we could be gossiping.
So, I wouldn’t have mentioned her. But we came up together.
She started about a month before I did. Saved me too many times to count from embarrassing myself before I knew better. ”
“Did you two ever…” Nate’s voice trailed off, but Connor didn’t pretend not to know what he was asking.
He shook his head, not defensively, because Nate wasn’t on the attack.
“No. Maybe, you know, if I didn’t know I was gay and she had lower standards.” Connor meant that to be a little humorous, but it fell flat with the way Nate’s expression only looked pained. “We met when I was still with Dawson. And she stayed with me for a few weeks after he left.”
Connor had never told anyone that before, and for a moment, he wondered if he’d let himself become too comfortable being so vulnerable with Nate.
But Nate’s expression softened into a smile.
“She seems like a great friend. My-my cousin, Tori, she’s kinda like that for me.”
He was quiet a moment as he looked over the memo, while Connor took that as his chance to send out some emails that had been piling up.
“What’s your cousin like?” He asked, clicking through his drafts.
“Oh–man, Tori’s… Tori’s great,” Nate grinned. “Bossy big sister I never had. She’s a nurse, just became an RN.”
“She sounds tough,” Connor observed with a little admiration.
“Yeah, tougher than me by a mile.” And Nate smiled to himself as he took a seat behind his desk, before he caught Connor’s eye and sat up a little straighter. “Hey. Uh–would you–how would you–wanna come over tonight? I could–um, I could cook–”
“I actually have plans,” Connor said, not thinking to soften his tone until he watched Nate deflate. And then, feeling guilty, he offered, “What about tomorrow night?”
“Uh–roommate,” Nate winced. “I mean–it’s a duplex, but–”
“That’s okay. Why don't you come over again?”
“You sure?”
“Yup. I’ll cook again. We could put on a movie or something.” And Connor paused, before finding his way to a smile. “You can come earlier if you want. I’m surfing tomorrow morning, so anytime after 11.”
“So I’m getting pretty much your whole Saturday, then,” Nate said, like he was checking in with Connor that he didn’t mind.
“Yeah. You are. Means you get to come along when I get my dry cleaning and groceries.”
“Sounds like a perfect day to me.” Nate sounded so earnest that for a moment, Connor didn’t have anything dry to say to that.
The smile that found its way to his lip was reflected back to him by his computer monitor, a strange sight on himself.
Somehow, that didn’t fade even as Connor made good on his promise to Junie, nursing a beer at the Tin Lizzie that night.
Junie had abandoned their group soon after arriving, tugging her miniskirt up to show just a bit more thigh before she started shooting her shot, one by one, with near every woman around the little bar.
“There she goes,” Benji said, somehow finding his way beside Connor. “Like letting a Chihuahua loose in a soccer field.”
“No kidding.” Connor sipped his beer noncommitally, letting himself enjoy the club scene as best he could. At least the music wasn’t half bad tonight–a little electric, a little alt, a little gay 80s pop.
In straight jeans and a slim-fitted tee, he couldn’t have looked more out of place now.
Junie had gone all out–well, all out for Junie–in fishnets, a miniskirt, some kind of bralette that Connor wouldn’t have been able to figure out if his life depended on it, a fair bit of glitter in the corners of her eyes and along her shoulders.
Black boots, of course. He’d only raised an eyebrow at him while she rolled her eyes.
“You just don’t understand sapphic fashion,” she said. “If it’s not worn in Wall Street Journal–”
Well, she wasn't wrong about that.
He leaned against a standing table, watching Liam and Ryan argue over the happy hour menu, all too aware that Benji had come to join him once again.
“The scene’s nice here,” Benji commented, adjusting his glasses with a thumb and forefinger. “I usually go out closer to Riverside.”
“In the desert?” Connor asked, politely engaging. “I’ve never been that far east of the 15.”
“Everyone out here thinks they’re too good for the Inland Empire,” Benji mused, running a hand through his hair, spiking red curls up as he did. “But it’s not so bad. You should check it out sometime.”
“Hm. Maybe.”
It was the most Connor had ever said directly to Benji. He wasn’t a bad guy, and maybe they would have been friends if they’d met a few months before they did. But Benji had joined Alarie while Connor was still working with Devore.
A shame, because he really did need allies then.
One Lady Gaga ballad ended, with an Alanis Morisette song starting, and Connor felt Benji nudge his elbow.
“What do you say? Wanna dance?”
Connor sucked in a breath.
“Listen. Benji. You’re a great guy but–I’m seeing someone right now.”
For a split-second, Connor was torn between kicking himself for letting that slip, and feeling absolute relief that he hadn’t tried for a lie.
It was the easiest reason to reject him, because it was the truth.
But Connor found Junie over Benji’s shoulder, her blonde head bobbing with laughter, another woman’s arm around her waist.
“It’s new. He’s not out. So–”
“Hey, I get it. No worries. Figured I’d regret it if I didn’t try. He’s lucky, whoever your guy is.”
Connor felt his expression waver.
“Thank you. You won’t repeat that, will you?”
“Not a chance. If anyone knows what that’s like–let’s just say I get where he’s coming from.
And you.” Benji drained his beer, giving Connor a small smile.
“I really admired you for the way you handled yourself during the Devore scandal. I mean, Berkshire had him dead to rights but you just–you were totally unfazed. Never seen anything like that.”
And Connor was genuinely at a loss for words.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to respond, because Liam and Ryan had found their way to an argument at the table beside them.
“Look, I don’t dance.”
“Not even once?”
“Nope.”
“Screw you, Liam.”
“Hey Ryan,” Benji piped up, turning away from Connor. “I’ll dance with you. C’mon.”
And Benji offered him his hand, which Ryan took while shooting a scowl at Liam over his shoulder.
Somehow, Connor found himself smiling.
So that was what Junie had been talking about.
He stepped over to the bar to order two more beers before rejoining Liam, slipping him one.
Liam’s jaw twitched as he watched Ryan and Benji dancing to Chappell Roan, Benji towering over Ryan, the latter far more confident and fluid on the floor.
“Word of advice?” Connor offered.
“Not now, Connor.”
“When the guy you like wants to dance, just say yes.”
“I don’t dance.”
“Yeah, but you might wish you had when you realize you lost your chance.” “What’s worse, embarrassing yourself for a few minutes, or feeling all of that regret?”