Chapter 12
Milow
“…and Coach said I’ll have to push harder if I want to have a chance against those guys from Dunst High.”
I turned my head as Ashby and Wesley walked into the dining room.
Ashby’s hair was damp from the shower, and he had brushed it back, which was a rare sight.
This look left his face completely open and unobstructed.
I realized I wasn’t used to seeing him like that, without his hair falling into his forehead the way it normally did, but even so, or maybe because of it, he looked really handsome.
Wesley walked beside him. His hair had lightened the way it always did in the summer, turning from light blond to nearly white from the sun because of all the time he spent outside.
Sometimes I thought the sun did the same thing to his eyes.
As pale as they already were, they always seemed a few shades lighter in the summer months.
Especially when he got a tan from working out outside, they looked striking.
“You’re already pushing hard,” Wesley said, his tone firm as he looked at Ashby. “I just talked to Dad about it a few days ago. You’re already doing a lot, and we’re worried your coach is making you work too hard for your own good.”
Wesley didn’t look pleased at all, and as I watched Ashby’s shoulders tense slightly at his words, I knew I agreed with him.
Ashby was at swim practice three times a week, sometimes more when competitions were coming up, and on the weekends, he often had meets that took up most of the day.
On top of that, he had just started his senior year of high school, and even though he wasn’t struggling and had always been a good student, the workload wasn’t going to get any lighter.
With the constant pressure from his coach layered on top of everything else, I worried that one day it would all become too much, even for someone as strong and determined as Ashby.
It had gotten too much for Wesley back when he was in high school, and there had been a time when he almost quit hockey altogether. Back then, the pressure had been constant, pulling up from school, training, expectations, and the simple fact that there never seemed to be enough hours in the day.
Luckily, Mom and Dad had stepped in before it broke him, rearranging his schedule so that there was enough free time to breathe and rest, and to feel like a normal teenager once in a while.
Because of that, he hadn’t burned out. He had graduated, made the U Sports team at the University of British Columbia, and now he played for one of the best teams in all of Canada, the Vancouver Redwinds, as well as for the national team.
The boys were talented athletes with bright and promising futures ahead of them. And then there was me. I didn’t have anything that impressive figured out yet, no clear path or plan laid out in front of me. But I still had time to work it out.
“It’ll be fine,” Ashby said, frowning as he let out a heavy sigh. Then a grin tugged at his lips. “I don’t have time to worry about that right now. I’ve got a party to attend tonight.”
His eyes flicked to mine, and I smiled back immediately. Just looking at him made my heart flutter uncontrollably.
“And Milow is coming with me.”
My eyes widened, and I quickly lifted my hands. [I haven’t asked Mom and Dad yet.]
“That won’t be necessary,” Wesley said easily. He walked over to where I was sitting at the table and squeezed my shoulder in a brief but reassuring gesture, before sliding his arms around Evie, who had just walked in carrying two plates.
“Hot, Wes, the plates are hot,” she warned.
He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, then took the plates from her and set them down on the table.
I frowned slightly and looked up at him. [Why won’t it be necessary?]
“Because Mom and Dad won’t be home until later,” Wesley explained. “Dad texted earlier and said he’s picking up Mom from work so they can go on a date. Which means I’m in charge tonight, and I say you absolutely go to that party.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, looking over at Ashby, who was still grinning at me like this was already settled.
“Great.”
I furrowed my brows. [I’m scared.]
Ashby’s expression softened immediately. His grin faded while Wesley laughed under his breath. “Scared? To go to a high school party?”
I shrugged and looked back at him. [It’ll be my first official party. I don’t know what people do at parties.]
“They dance and have fun,” he said with an easy smile. “And some people get blackout drunk. But since we’re a non-alcohol-consuming family—”
“And we’re underage,” Ashby cut in quickly.
“—you’ll just have to dance.”
I scrunched my nose and dropped my gaze to my hands, flexing my fingers against my lap. Evie carried in two more plates and set them down on the table. Once everyone was seated, she glanced around with curiosity. “Whose party is it, anyway?”
“Scottie’s,” Ashby replied. “So, yeah, it’ll probably be a wild one. But it’ll be fun. She only invited people she actually likes, not every student at Bowen High.”
“That does sound fun,” Evie said, nudging my side with her elbow. “You should go.”
I lifted my gaze and looked at all three of them sitting at the round table, all watching me with the same expectant expression, as if this decision mattered more than I realized.
I set down the fork I had just picked up and signed. [What if I get bored?]
“You won’t,” Ashby said quickly. “I’ll be there, and I’ll entertain you. And if I’m not entertaining enough, you can just watch Stan make a fool out of himself.”
A smile tugged at my lips. I did like watching Stanley do stupid things and then deal with the consequences afterward. He was still a whirlwind, loud, and always pushing things too far.
“I’d pay to watch that boy embarrass himself,” Wesley said, stabbing into the lasagna with his fork. “Remember your tenth birthday, Ash? When he dared himself to run around naked at the public pool. God, what a clown.”
Evie laughed softly, while Ashby let out a heavy sigh, unable to defend his best friend. “Yeah… not his brightest moment.”
“There are never bright moments with that one,” Wesley said, then he turned his attention back to me. “So here’s the deal. You go to the party, and if for any reason you feel uncomfortable and want to come home, you text me and I’ll come and get you. Deal?”
I studied him for a moment, trying to picture what a party at Scottie’s would actually be like.
It wasn’t that I had never been to parties before.
There had been Ashby’s birthday parties, and Wesley’s, too.
But Mom and Dad were always nearby then, and I could always disappear upstairs if things got too loud.
I had been to Scottie’s birthdays, too, but this was different.
This was her first real house party without her mom around.
There’d be older kids I didn’t hang out with at school. And apparently alcohol.
“I won’t leave your side,” Ashby said calmly. “I’ll hang out with you all night.”
That was too nice of him, and it was too much. I didn’t want him to give up his night just to be sure I was okay. I shook my head and signed, [You don’t have to do that. But I’ll come.]
His grin came back instantly. “Perfect.”
After dinner, I lingered in the dining room, pretending to listen to Wesley and Ashby talk even though my mind wasn’t focused on it at all.
The party sat heavily on my mind now that I was going.
I had agreed to it. I had no idea what I was supposed to wear, and that uncertainty made me nervous all over again.
It was a minor thing, but choosing an outfit to go anywhere had always put pressure on me.
Maybe it was because I appreciated every single item I had in my closet. Before being adopted, I remembered only ever wearing an oversized t-shirt, a pair of underwear, and socks with holes in them.
I glanced toward the kitchen, where Evie finished putting the plates in the dishwasher.
She was always so calm and looked like she belonged wherever she was.
I envied that about her. She probably never worried about her clothes.
She didn’t have to. She looked beautiful no matter what she wore.
After a moment of sitting there and arguing with myself, I finally walked over to her.
She looked up when she noticed me hovering. “What’s up?”
[Can you help me pick something to wear for the party?]
Her face immediately softened into a warm smile. “Of course I can,” she said without hesitation, like there was never any doubt. “I’d love to.”
Relief washed over me, glad I didn’t have to do it alone.
Once she was finished cleaning up, we headed upstairs. I opened my bedroom door and stepped inside, flicking on the light. Evie stepped in and glanced around with a small smile. “Okay,” she said, clapping her hands once softly. “Let’s see what we’re working with.”
I walked over to my closet and slid the doors open, suddenly too aware and overwhelmed with how many clothes I owned. Yet, none of them felt like the right choice for the party. I looked back at her, a little unsure, and signed, [I don’t want to look weird. Or like I’m trying too hard.]
She came over and looked at the clothes, running her fingers through the fabrics. She had a look of understanding in her eyes. “You won’t,” she said easily. “We’ll find something that’ll make you comfortable while still looking cute.”
Thirty minutes later, I stood in the middle of my room, staring at my reflection while Evie watched me with a wide, approving grin. “I think you look super cute,” she said, pleased with herself.
I looked at the jean skirt and the white top again, taking in how unfamiliar it felt to have so much skin showing. I had no issues wearing my bikini at the pool, but this was different. I bit my lower lip, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
“You don’t like it,” Evie said gently, her smile fading as she crossed one arm over her stomach and rested her cheek in her hand.
I shook my head. [I like it. It’s just… I feel naked.]
“Naked?” She tilted her head and looked me over again. Her eyes drifted from my outfit to my closet, then back to me. “Okay. That’s easy to fix. You can layer.”
She walked over and pulled out a light green cardigan, holding it up in front of me. “This will look really pretty.”
I studied it in the mirror, then nodded and slipped it on. I buttoned the top button and let the rest hang open so the white top beneath was still visible. I felt more like myself almost instantly.
“Better?” she asked.
I tilted my head to take another close look at myself, then signed, [Yes. This is perfect.]
“Good,” she said with a satisfied smile. She crouched and grabbed a pair of white-and-brown Adidas sneakers. “And these. Trust me.”
I put them on, laced them, and stood up just as a knock sounded at the door.
“Milow?” Ashby’s voice came through the wood. “You ready?”
Evie shot me a knowing look. “Come in.”
The door opened, and Ashby stepped inside. He stopped short the second he saw me. His eyes moved over me slowly. He looked at me the way he always did. With a kind of gentleness that always made my heart beat a little faster. Then he smiled.
“You look really pretty,” he said, almost surprised by his own words.
My chest squeezed in that familiar way again, and I felt heat creep up my neck. I signed a small thank you.
Evie cleared her throat. “Will Wesley drive you to the party?”
Ashby didn’t look away from me as he answered her. “Yeah… he will.”
“Good.” Evie smiled again, then gently squeezed my hand. “Have fun, okay? And if you feel like leaving, text Wes.”
I tore my gaze away from Ashby and looked at her, nodding once.
Evie left, and I stayed where I was, standing in front of the mirror with my hands loosely clasped together.
Ashby was only a few feet away. He was always welcome in my room, always had been.
When we were little, he had the habit of sneaking into my bed.
As we grew older, he stopped doing it. I missed it, but I knew we couldn’t keep sleeping in one bed with each other.
We were in high school, and not little kids anymore.
Ashby didn’t speak right away. He shifted his weight, one sneaker scuffing against the carpet. His hands were still shoved into his pockets. I watched his reflection instead of looking at him directly.
“Hey,” he said finally.
I turned toward him then. He took a step closer, then another, stopping just in front of me. It always was.
“I was actually really worried earlier,” he admitted, his brows drawing together. “When I couldn’t find you at school.”
A small smile tugged at his mouth, but it faded quickly.
My heart squeezed as I listened. I knew that when he had come home earlier and found me safe in the kitchen, the relief he’d felt hadn’t stayed with him for long.
With Ashby, it never really did. His worry always went deeper than simple explanations or missed messages.
He didn’t just wonder where I had been. He worried about why.
If someone had stopped me. If someone had meant harm.
He always carried that fear with him, even on days when there was no reason for it at all.
I needed to let him know that nothing had happened. [I just went to the library right after class, and I thought you had probably left already, so I went home.]
His shoulders relaxed, but only a little. “That makes sense.” He let out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just kept thinking maybe something happened. I know that’s stupid.”
I quickly shook my head. [It’s not stupid.]
He looked at me for a long moment, with his eyes searching my face. Then he stepped closer and opened his arms, giving me time to pull away if I wanted to.
But I didn’t. I never did when he wanted to hug me.
I moved into him, my arms settling around his waist as his wrapped around my shoulders. His hugs always made me feel like nothing bad could ever reach me. His chin rested on top of my head, and I breathed in his scent, which always sent me back to the most comforting moments of our past.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he murmured. “I don’t like not knowing where you are.”
I pressed my cheek against his chest, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. I hated it when he worried.
After a while, he pulled back and smiled at me, taking in my outfit before saying, “You really do look amazing. I mean it.”
My cheeks flushed, and I dropped my gaze to avoid his.
He laughed quietly and reached up to gently pinch my cheek with the backs of his fingers, “You ready?”
I nodded, feeling nervous and excited all at once. But I knew he would stay close to me all evening and make the night bearable.