9. Lilian
Chapter 9
Lilian
Don’t look up. Don’t do it.
I’m plucking apart the napkin in my lap, trying to keep myself from spotting him.
I already had my fair share of drinks so I could face him, but screw that. Screw being over Sebastian. I shouldn’t have come with them, because I think I saw him and he wasn’t alone.
The whole ballroom falls silent, the string quartet the only source of noise.
“Miltons,” Mary says.
“Who?” Gemma asks.
“Elijah and Connor Milton. Very rich and successful—the total package,” Mary says. “And, of course, Ms. Whitman has already sunk her claws into the older one. What a surprise…”
“Seems so,” Gemma says.
I follow her line of vision. Everything is better than seeing Sebastian. “Wait, the left one is Connor Milton? The one you told us about?”
“The one and only.” Mary’s shoulder slump .
She had mentioned that they became more than close and then kind of broke up recently. He really changed a lot from college. No wonder Mary didn’t recognize him.
So the other is Elijah, and with him is a blonde woman who clings to him like her life depends on it.
I turn back to Gemma, who stares at them. Her face is drained of color, and her eyes narrowed.
“Are you okay?” I ask. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gemma says.
Mary and I exchange a look, and she raises her champagne glass. “No men tonight, and instead, to an unforgettable evening with my best girls.”
“Cheers.” We clink our glasses against hers.
“Don’t look,” Mary says.
Of course, Gemma and I whip our heads around, and at least I regret it immediately.
Sebastian, with an elegant brunette, strides over to Connor and Elijah. They exchange brotherly handshakes, and Sebastian flashes his dazzling smile, the one that used to be directed at me. Now it’s reserved for his new girlfriend, apparently.
In the end, it was to scratch an itch.
“Seems like Bash is a good friend of his,” I say.
“They’ve been doing business together and got pretty close,” Mary says. “Best friends.”
“How do you know all this?” And not that Sebastian has a new girlfriend. Although would I even have wanted to know? It shouldn’t concern me anymore.
“Well, that’s one advantage of having the queen of gossip as a mother. ”
Gemma’s eyes dart between us. “He’s my one-night stand from the masquerade.”
Mary chokes on her champagne.
“I guess your mother missed a tiny detail.” I plaster on my happy face despite the knot in my chest.
“Apparently.” Gemma freezes. “Shit.”
Sebastian points our way, waving her over.
This is the perfect excuse to escape without them thinking it’s because of him. “Want to go grab some burgers?”
Gemma’s eyes dart back to her drink. “No, we stay.”
Fantastic.
“I need to use the restroom,” Gemma says.
“Want me to come with you?” I ask.
“No, I’m alright. I need a minute to myself.” And with that, she hurries off, weaving through the crowd.
This night got more complicated for all of us.
Mary clears her throat. “I could use another drink. You?”
“Sure, let’s go.”
I head toward the bar with Mary close behind.
“Is everything okay with you?” she asks.
“Of course.” My voice comes out high-pitched. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Keep it together, Lil. You’re here to have fun with your girls, not mope over Sebastian fucking Barron. So what if he’s here with some way-too-beautiful brunette draped all over him? Not my problem anymore.
“Are you sure? ”
“Sorry.” My eyes flick to the side. “It’s just… weird, you know? Seeing him after everything. The only thing missing is Blake showing up and throwing herself at him.”
“That won’t happen.” She signals the bartender. “She never shows up to events like this.”
“Silver lining, I guess.”
“I can always hook you up with one of my old date partners?” Mary offers.
I laugh. “Oh, you mean so I can have the famous Mary disastrous dating experience?”
“It’s a 5-star experience. Trust me.”
“How about you? Can’t be easy seeing Connor again.”
She shrugs, but I can see the strain underneath. “It’s not pleasant, to say the least, but like we said earlier—no men tonight.”
“No men tonight.”
Suddenly, Mary spins around. “Ella?”
“Dad said you should come over for a minute,” her sister says.
Mary hesitates.
She probably doesn’t want to leave me alone. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, go catch up with your family. I’ll stay here.”
“I’ll be right back.” She gives me a quick hug before disappearing into the crowd with Ella.
Taking a fortifying sip of champagne, I steel myself to endure Sebastian and his date solo.
Would dating really help to forget him? It didn’t during college.
There was Tom, the first guy I dated after Sebastian. He was a sweet guy, really. I think he studied accounting and was the complete opposite of Sebastian in every way. When we dated, something was missing .
Then there was David, the charming lawyer. For a brief moment, I thought he could be the one to make me forget. But as we grew closer, I felt suffocated. He ended it.
And, of course, there was Michael, the free-spirited artist. His paintings were amazing, and he drew one portrait of me. That was romantic. But he moved to Italy. To be honest, I think in the long run, it wouldn’t have worked. We hooked up. That’s it.
Lastly, Jason. I tried to love him. Tried to change myself. But no matter how much I wanted to, my heart wasn’t in it.
It always circled back to Sebastian Barron.
If this were a Regency novel, I’d probably be whisked away to the countryside to forget about my troubles. Some handsome, brooding duke would sweep me off my feet, and we’d ride off into the sunset on his white steed.
Getting over a man in real life is a lot messier. It’s not all grand gestures and happily ever afters. It’s more like drowning your sorrows in a pint of ice cream and binge-watching Netflix until your eyes bleed.
I take a peek at him. His arm is causally slung around the brunette’s waist, who is leaning into him, all smiles and adoring gazes.
No wonder Gemma had to go to the toilet.
It makes me want to puke, too.