13. Lilian
Chapter 13
Lilian
In that moment, something snaps in both of us and our lips crash against each other with a desperate urgency. Maybe it’s the weight of our history, or maybe it’s the longing for something lost.
I throw my arms around Sebastian’s neck while he draws my hips against his. A needy sound escapes me, muffled by his mouth.
It’s bruising and consuming, a clash of teeth and tongue that leaves me dizzy. It’s like coming home and being set adrift all at once.
He groans, low and rough, the sound vibrating through me, and his fingers dig into my skin hard enough to leave marks. Good. I want him to mark me, to claim me as his. I tangle my hands in his hair, tugging him impossibly closer before it’s over.
He breaks the kiss to trail his lips along my jaw, down the column of my throat. I tip my head back, giving him better access.
He nips and sucks at my pulse point, no doubt leaving another mark. I’ll have to cover it later, but right now, I relish the slight sting. Proof that this is real, that he wants me as much as I want him.
“Lil,” he breathes against my skin, his voice rough with desire .
It ignites a fire in my veins, and I fist my hands in his hair, dragging his lips back to mine. Caught between the past and present, my heart and mind wage a war I can’t control.
“Sebastian,” I gasp, not even sure what I’m asking for. More, maybe. Or perhaps, for him to stop before we do something we can’t take back.
He pauses, pulling back far enough to meet my gaze. His eyes are dark, pupils blown wide with desire. But there’s something else there too, a question. He’s giving me an out, a chance to put a stop to this before it goes too far.
I should take it. I should push him away, smooth my dress, and walk out that door with my head held high.
But I won’t. Not when every cell in my body is screaming for him, not when I’ve spent the last few years dreaming of this very moment.
So, instead, I brush my lips against his in a whisper of a kiss. “Don’t stop,” I breathe. “Please.”
His mouth is on mine again, hungry and demanding. I lose myself in the kiss, in the slide of his tongue against mine, the nip of his teeth against my bottom lip.
His right hand skims over my leg, dipping low to tease my core through the slip. I arch into his touch, silently begging for more, even as some distant part of my brain screams that this is a mistake.
A mistake I’ll gladly make, again and again, if it means having him like this.
“So wet for me, princess.” He growls. “You need more, don’t you?”
I nod. My pussy throbs with need, aching to be filled by him.
He unbuckles his trousers, freeing his hard cock, and then hoists up one of my legs, positioning himself at my entrance. The wall is cold against my back, in direct contrast to the heat of his body .
Achingly slow, he eases inside me, stretching me, and a broken moan escapes my lips. The sensation of him inside me after so long is almost too much to bear.
“Fuck, Lil,” he groans, his face buried in the crook of my neck. “You feel so good.”
I can only whimper in response, my nails digging into his shoulders. He starts to move, and each thrust sends sparks of pleasure through my body, stoking the fire building in my core.
It’s raw and primal, the way he takes me against the wall. There’s no tenderness, no gentle caresses. Only the brutal snap of his hips against mine, the harsh panting of our breaths mingling together.
And I love it. I love the way he takes control, consumes, and possesses me like he’s trying to brand himself onto my very soul.
I meet him thrust for thrust, desperate to finally be whole again after being shattered for so long. I hate how fan-fucking-tastic he feels, how much it hurts and makes me want more.
“I hate you,” I say.
“I know.” His lips find mine in a bruising kiss, swallowing my cries of pleasure. I can taste the whiskey on his tongue. It’s intoxicating, dizzying.
He hits a particularly sensitive spot inside me, making me cry out.
“Good girl.” He grins against my neck. “Let me hear how much you enjoy being fucked by the one you hate.”
My peak is building with each scrape of his cock, and one of his hands descends between us, finding my clit. He rubs rough circles around it.
“That’s it, princess,” he rasps against my ear. “Come for me.”
On command, my body tenses and then shatters. He locks his lips with mine, and I give in to the desire that has haunted our every interaction, that has burned a secret path through the darkest corners of my heart, stealing my breath and my sanity. My inner walls flutter around him, riding out the high.
He grips my hips, his thumbs digging into my flesh, and fucks me harder, his cock sliding in and out of me before he lets out a guttural groan, the sound vibrating against my lips. His hips stutter, and his rhythm falters as he fills me with his hot and thick cum.
He rests his forehead against mine, our breath mingling in the scant space between us.
I’m not sure if this is love or hate, pleasure or pain. “I’ll never be able to resist you, will I?”
He chuckles, the sound dark and bitter. “No. Just like I can’t resist you.” His thumb traces my lower lip, his touch gentler than it has any right to be.
“What now?” I ask.
“I don’t know. But I know I can’t let you go again.”
“I don’t know if I can trust you again.”
“Seems like we’re back to square one.”
“Yeah. Seems like it.”
Slowly, he lowers my legs back to the floor, slipping out of me. I wince slightly at the loss.
“You okay?” He tucks himself away.
I nod, adjusting my slip and smoothing my rumpled dress. My body thrums with satisfaction, but my mind is a mess. I feel empty and used, my heart aching with the weight of what we’ve done.
I can’t meet his gaze. I’m afraid of what I might see there. Regret? Pity? Or worse, indifference?
“Sebastian, I— ”
Footsteps approach, and seconds later, Serena rounds the corner. “There you are!” Her gaze flicks between us. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Not at all,” I say.
“You are.” Sebastian faces Serena. “What is it?”
“Your father tried to reach you. Something about the investors.”
Of course. I let out a bitter chuckle.
“I’ll call him later. Go back inside.” His eyes harden as she remains still. “Now.”
Her lips curve up. “Touchy.” She turns and leaves, an awkward silence falling over us.
“You wanted to say something?” he asks.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Lil.” His hands clutch my face, tilting it up. “Look at me.”
I lift my eyes to his, tears pricking the corners. The anger from before has vanished, replaced by something far more dangerous. I hear them scratching and pounding against the door.
“Fuck. Is it because of Serena? Please, you must believe me that there is nothing between her and me.”
“You’re playing me again, aren’t you?”
He sighs. “I’m not. What can I do so you believe me?”
“Nothing.”
His thumb brushes over my cheekbone. “I know I fucked up. But I’m trying here, Lil. I’m really fucking trying.”
I analyze his face, seeking out any subtle signs of deception. But all I see is raw honesty, a vulnerability he rarely shows.
“I want to believe you,” I say. “But I can’t.”
“I won’t lose you again.”
“You already did.”
His hands fall away, and I flee, dodging staff, Gemma, Mary, and guests alike until I’m at the elevator, hammering the button.
Hide.
All the feelings come rushing in, as powerful as ever.
What have I done?
Hide.
A hand stops my movement, and I whirl around.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Serena looks at me, a gentle warmth in her eyes. “You’re Lil, right?”
I stare at her, not being able to say a single word.
“Here.” She hands me a napkin.
I take it, dabbing my eyes. “Thanks.”
“Men can be such idiots, can’t they?” She chuckles.
“You have no idea.”
“Look, I know we don’t know each other, but…” She hesitates, as if choosing her words carefully. “Sebastian cares about you. A lot.”
I scoff. “He doesn’t.”
“He’s… complicated.”
“Understatement.”
“All I’m saying is, don’t write him off yet. He might surprise you.”
I search her face. What’s her angle? Why is she defending him? Aren’t they together?
“And to be sure, because I don’t want to get between you two. Ha. He’d kill me if he knew I was talking to you.” She shakes her head. “Sebastian and I… it’s not what you think.”
“You kissed.”
“Yes, that was me.” She rubs her neck. “Let’s say I wanted to make someone jealous, and I knew what he was trying to do. So, I thought I would do us both a favor. I’m sorry. He really didn’t want to. ”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Then don’t.” She shrugs. “Just give him a chance?”
The elevator dings, the doors sliding open. I glance inside, then back at her. “I… Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She winks.
I step inside, and the doors start to close. I make a split-second decision and jab the ‘open’ button, holding it. “Serena?”
She peeks inside, eyebrows raised.
“Why are you so nice to me?”
“Easy. Because I can’t have my own fairy tale ending.” She huffs. “I don’t want to be the reason you can’t find yours.”
I didn’t expect this answer. “Why can’t you?”
“Maybe some other time.”
“Sorry.”
She waves. “No worries.”
The elevator doors start to close again, and this time, I let them.
What the hell am I doing?