26. Lilian
Chapter 26
Lilian
We had sex, intense and desperate, giving in to a desire I’d suppressed for so long. Heat floods my cheeks.
Amazing sex. Of course, it was amazing. It always is with him. But that doesn’t mean anything. It can’t.
I sit up slowly, taking in the minimalist decor of what must be Sebastian’s bedroom. Clean lines, dark wood, not a thing out of place, no personal touches.
It’s so different from his college dorm. Sterile, almost. Like one of those fancy hotel rooms that could belong to anyone. It has the same vibe as the room at his parent’s apartment—that sense of being forgotten and rarely slept in. A guest room more than a personal space.
Maybe it’s a spare room? I wouldn’t put it past him. He probably didn’t want me sullying his actual bed. Not that it would be the first time I’ve been in his bed… but that was a lifetime ago.
It fits us. For whatever this thing is between us. He lets me see a certain side of him and lets me into his space. But the real him? The messy, complicated, raw parts? Those he keeps locked away .
What am I even doing here? In Sebastian’s maybe-guest-room, in his life again after everything? I should know better by now. But somehow, I keep ending up with him. The way his hands gripped my hips, his lips on my skin, the sounds I made… God, what was I thinking?
The bathroom door opens, and he emerges, a towel slung low around his hips. Droplets of water cling to his chest, and his hair is tousled from the shower. He looks utterly at ease, as if it’s perfectly normal for him to wander around half-naked, and maybe it is.
This is his apartment in the end.
I clutch the sheets tighter around my body as if the thin fabric can shield me from reality. How is it fair that he can look so effortlessly sexy while I’m sitting here feeling like a hot mess?
“A little late for modesty, don’t you think, princess?”
I glower at him, hating the way my heart skips at the nickname. “Don’t call me that.”
“You weren’t complaining last night.” He shrugs, unperturbed.
I open my mouth to retort, but no words come out. He’s right, damn him. In the heat of the moment, I’d let him call me whatever he wanted, as long as he didn’t stop touching me.
Sebastian saunters over to the bed and sits down next to me. The mattress dips under his weight, and I scoot away instinctively.
He raises an eyebrow at the action. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay, just processing everything.”
“Did you sleep okay?”
I nod. “Thanks for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it.”
“I was thinking we could do breakfast. What do you feel like? I can whip up some eggs, or we could go out if you prefer.”
Go out? Is he insane? The last thing I want is to be seen in public with him, especially after… this. Whatever this is .
“Um, breakfast sounds good. Eggs,” I mumble, avoiding his gaze. “I’ll get dressed and come out.” I scan the room. Clothes… “Where are my clothes?”
“In the washer. I can give you some of mine. Unless you’d prefer to walk around naked.” He winks, and my face reaches the heat of molten lava.
He did not say that. Before I can formulate a response, he turns and walks into what I assume is his closet.
“Very funny.” I scramble out of bed, keeping the sheets wrapped around me like a makeshift toga, and follow him, determined to find something to wear that isn’t his, which is impossible now that I think about it. It’s his closet.
What is happening to me? It’s like my brain is on vacation.
The closet is huge, complementing the all-dark wood and sleek lines from the bedroom. Racks of designer suits, organized shirts, and one cabinet in the middle filled with ties and accessories. I hover in the doorway, feeling out of place.
“See anything you like?” He’s put on a pair of sweatpants, but his chest is still bare.
My eyes betray me by roaming over his toned abs. “Your clothes won’t fit. I’d rather have mine.”
“Suit yourself. But I have to say, you look pretty good in my sheets.” He reaches out and tugs playfully at my toga.
I bat his hand away. “Stop it. Last night was… it was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“A mistake?” His expression hardens. “Funny, that’s not the impression I got when you were coming on my cock.”
I flinch, my face burning. Again. “That’s not… I wasn’t…” I twist the sheets in my hands, trying to hold onto control. “Look, we both know this isn’t going to work. We’ve tried before, and it ended badly. I can’t do that again.”
“Who says it has to end badly this time?” He moves closer. “And last time we tried, we didn’t even get to finish the weekend. So, technically, nothing ended badly.”
I take a step back, needing space. This is all too much. Too confusing. Too raw. “I can’t do this, Sebastian. I… I need to go.” I turn to leave, but his hand on my arm stops me.
“Go where Lil? Back to that apartment? Alone?”
I shrug off his touch. “I’ll crash at Mary’s. It’s fine.”
“Do you really want to be the third wheel in their love nest?”
He has a point. Mary and Connor are in that honeymoon phase. All lovey-dovey and handsy. The last thing I want is a front-row seat to their happiness.
“Look, stay here for a bit.” His tone is casual, but there’s an undercurrent of something else. Pleading? Hope? “I have plenty of space. You don’t even have to see me if you don’t want to. Think of me as your… roommate.”
I chew on my lip, considering. The thought of going back to my place makes my skin crawl. Being near Sebastian doesn’t sound so bad. Despite everything, he’s always made me feel safe. Protected.
“I don’t…”
“Lil, please. Let me do this for you.” There’s a rawness in his expression that tugs at my heart.
Maybe it’s the Regency novel lover in me, but the idea of playing house with Sebastian for a little while is tempting. To pretend that we’re two normal people living together like any other couple. Maybe it could work ?
My shoulders slump. “Okay. I’ll stay. But just for a little while. Until I figure things out.”
“Perfect.” He rummages through some drawers and pulls out a large black t-shirt, tossing it to me. “Here. This should work as a dress on you.”
I catch it and rub the soft fabric between my fingertips. It smells like him—expensive cologne and something uniquely Sebastian. I hate how much I like it.
“I don’t have any women’s underwear, but I can give you a pair of boxers if you’d prefer not to go without.”
“I’ll try my luck,” I mumble.
“Pity, I would have loved knowing you weren’t wearing any.” Sebastian’s voice drops, a teasing lilt coloring his words. He opens a drawer and takes out a pair of black boxers, holding them out to me with a wink. “I hope these fit.”
“Thanks.” I give him an obvious fake smile.
“Take your time. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready.”
After he leaves, I take a quick shower and change into his clothes. As predicted, the boxers are too big, so I stick with the shirt that falls mid-thigh.
The aroma of coffee leads me to the kitchen, where Sebastian is scrambling eggs at the stove.
“Smells good,” I say.
He glances up from the pan and studies me with a knowing smirk, as if he knows exactly that I’m not wearing any underwear. “And? Did they fit?”
“Maybe.” I mirror his expression, the corners of my mouth lifting in playful defiance.
He laughs, motioning at the counter while he removes a tray of croissants and bread rolls from the oven. “Food’ s ready.”
I take a seat at the enormous marble island, and he dishes eggs, bacon, and toast onto two plates, setting one in front of me.
The smell wafts up to my nose, making my stomach grumble. He places another plate, filled with a croissant, bread roll, and fresh berries, before me.
I pick up my fork and dig in. “Thank you.”
“It was no trouble.” He sips on his coffee, observing me. “I can make something else if you’d prefer.”
“No, this is perfect.” I pick up the croissant, the flaky pastry melting on my tongue. “Delicious. Really.”
Is this really okay? Staying here with him. As his roommate?
I take another bite of my croissant, eyeing Sebastian’s untouched plate. He’s still watching me, his gaze unwavering. I swallow and set down the pastry.
“What about you? Not hungry?” I point to his plate.
“I ate earlier.”
“Uh-huh.” I don’t buy it. “So, you made all this for me?”
“Maybe I did, princess.”
I frown, noticing the dark circles rimming his eyes. “Did you even sleep last night?”
“I had some work to catch up on.”
“That’s not healthy.”
“I don’t need as much sleep as most people.” He pours himself more coffee, avoiding my gaze.
“You can’t not eat or sleep.”
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” His lips quirk up, but there’s no humor in his tone.
“That’s not funny.”
“Are you worried about me? ”
“I’m not worried about you.” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “I think it’s irresponsible for a CEO to neglect his basic needs. What kind of example does that set for your employees?”
“So, you’re worried about my employees then?”
No. “Yes, exactly.” I’m worried about you. “Someone has to think about their well-being since you clearly don’t.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Whatever you say, princess.”
I open my mouth to retort, but— “Shit!” I leap up from my seat, the chair scraping against the floor. “I forgot to call in sick.”
“Call in sick?”
I’m already rushing towards the bedroom. “I still have a job, you know.”
I stumble into the room, scanning the nightstand for my phone. It’s not there. Fuck. I pat my pockets, but I have none. I’m not wearing my clothes.
Where the hell is it? Still at the apartment?
“Looking for this?” Sebastian’s voice comes from behind me, and I spin around to see him leaning against the doorframe, my phone in his hand.
I snatch it. “Thanks.”
The screen lights up, revealing missed calls and messages from Gem, Mary, Work, Levi, Landon, and Anne. My stomach twists. They must be worried sick.
“Gem and Mary know you’re okay. I talked with them yesterday. And I also called the library.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I should still call Levi. He’ll want to hear from me.”
Sebastian’s jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. “Sure. I’ll be in my office if you need me. ”
“Wait.” The word is out before I can stop it.
“Yeah?”
My eyes flick between his. Do you really want me here? “Thank you. For everything.”
“When you’re done, we should head over to your place so you can pack a bag. Clothes, toiletries, whatever else you need.”
“Right.” My stomach knots at the thought of going back there.
“No rush. We have all day.”
“Don’t you have work? I mean, I can do it alone.” I don’t want to, but I also don’t want to intrude.
“I took a day off.”
“Oh.”
He walks away, and I gape at his retreating back, a confusing swirl of emotions churning in my body. Gratitude, definitely. But there’s something else too. Something I fear more than the break-in.
I quickly dial the library, keeping my voice steady, explaining what happened. Once that’s taken care of, I call Levi back.
It rings once, twice, three times. Voicemail. Shit.
“Hey, it’s me. I wanted to let you know I’m okay. I’m staying with... a friend for now. Call me back when you can. Love you.”
I hang up, tossing the phone on the bed with a sigh. A friend. Is that what Sebastian is now? It feels like a lie, but I don’t know what else to call him.
My roommate? My ex? The man I love?