27. Lilian
Chapter 2 7
Lilian
Our apartment is as I left it.
Utterly destroyed.
Drawers pulled open, things scattered everywhere, and broken glass glinting on the floor. Even though I know it’s just stuff, it feels like a violation.
I stand in the doorway, unable to move.
Sebastian’s hand settles on the small of my back. “I’m here with you. Nothing to be afraid of.”
“I know. It’s just…” I gesture helplessly at the mess. “…seeing it like this is hard.”
“I get it. It’s a lot to take in.” His voice is gentle, soothing. “We don’t have to stay long. Grab what you need for now, okay? Clothes, toiletries, whatever else. I’ll buy you the rest.”
I take a shaky breath. “Okay. Yeah.”
“You know what, princess? We don’t even need to go in there.” His hand grasps mine, and he turns to leave. “Let’s head to the mall. I’ll buy you everything you need. I mean, I still have to buy you new underwear from the time I ripped them. ”
Instantly, my mind reels back to my wedding day when Sebastian ripped the expensive lace off in a frenzy of lust.
“That’s—” My cheeks flush hot.
“Are you remembering it?”
“I—” Damn him for knowing me so well, for being able to push all my buttons like this. “Is it not boring that you can read me like a book?”
“Boring?” He leans closer, his eyes locking with mine, the playful edge in his voice softening. “Lil, if you were a book, you’d be the kind I could never put down. The kind with layers, secrets in every chapter. I’d spend every second of my life getting lost in your pages, learning something new every time. It’s not about knowing you—it’s about discovering you over and over again. Like watching your favorite movie and noticing all the little things you didn’t before.”
I bite my lip to hide the smile threatening to break through. Damn him. He always knows just what to say. But when I look back up, the smile wins. It’s small, nervous, but real.
“Glad to see that smile back,” he says.
I glance away, pretending not to care. “Let’s just get this over with, okay? I want to grab my stuff and get out of here.”
He chuckles softly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand as we step into the apartment, glass crunching beneath our feet. He moves through the chaos with ease, heading straight for my bedroom. I follow, avoiding the destruction, focusing instead on a mental list of what I need.
Clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, makeup… “My book.”
He stops. “What?”
“Oh, I-I just was thinking about what to pack.”
“Only you would think about a book at a time like this.” He continues walking, tugging me with him .
“Hey, don’t judge. Reading helps me relax. Besides, it’s a really good book.”
“I’m sure it is.”
We arrive at my room, where the damage seems to be the worst. Drawers hanging open, clothes strewn across the floor, and the mirror shattered, shards of glass littering the floor. My stomach churns at the thought of strangers pawing through my things.
“Fantastic.”
“You okay?” Sebastian squeezes my hand.
“Yeah. I mean, no. But I will be. Eventually. Let’s just do this.”
“Alright. Where do you want to start?”
I survey the room, trying to prioritize. “Closet, I guess. I’ll need clothes.”
We work together. He pulls a suitcase from the top shelf while I start grabbing hangers. Jeans, t-shirts, a couple dresses. The basics.
I’m reaching for a sweater, my hand brushing against something soft and lacy. I freeze, my cheeks heating. It’s the red lingerie set from Gemma’s collection. She gifted me one. I’d forgotten it was even there.
“What’s that?” he asks.
Quickly, I shove it back into the depths of the closet. “Nothing,” I mumble, ducking my head. “Old stuff.”
“You sure you don’t want to pack it? Never know when you might need it.”
“Pretty sure I won’t be needing it anytime soon.” I shoot him a glare, but there’s no real heat behind it.
“Right.” He chuckles and wanders over to my bookshelf, which is crammed with novels. “Want me to grab some of these too?”
“I just need one. I don’t think they’ll all fit. Not unless you’ve got a magic suitcase. ”
The corners of his mouth quirk up. “Fresh out, unfortunately.”
I’m reaching for another hanger when I realize the room has gone quiet. Too quiet. I peer over my shoulder to find Sebastian frozen, staring at something in the corner.
The sewing machine.
His voice is soft, hesitant. “Do you want to bring this with you?”
“I…” I don’t know.
“We can come back for it later if you want.”
He knows what that machine means to me. He knows the memories it holds because I told him.
I nod.
Because the truth is, I haven’t touched that machine since it kickstarted my nightmares. I’ve carried it from place to place, but I’ve never lifted the cover. Never even looked at it.
Maybe it’s time to let it go.
“No,” I say. “Leave it. I won’t… I won’t use it anyway.”
He opens his mouth as if to say something but then thinks better of it. He carefully drapes the cover back over the machine. Hiding it away once more.
I turn back to the closet, blinking away the sudden sting of tears. It’s just a thing. Just a stupid, useless thing.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“For what?” He sounds genuinely confused.
I shrug, not looking at him. “For not pushing.”
We work in silence for a while, the only sound the rustle of fabric and the occasional thunk of a hanger. I focus on the motions, the simple task of folding and packing.
By the time we’re done, I have two suitcases full of clothes and a duffel bag with toiletries, my book, and other essentials .
I huff, stepping back from the closet. “I think that’s everything I need for now.”
“Alright. Let’s leave.” He takes both suitcases and leaves the bag for me.
I pause in the doorway, looking back at the wreckage one last time.
It hits me then, the finality of it all. Leaving this place and moving in with Sebastian… feels like the end of something. Or maybe the beginning. It’s only temporary. I’ll find something new.
Back at his apartment, he leads me into my new room. A guest room across from his.
It’s similar to Sebastian’s but with lighter accents—creamy white walls, soft gray curtains, and a plush ivory rug. It’s like a breath of fresh air compared to the dark, wooden tones of his space.
“Anne designed and furnished everything.” He sets my suitcases down. “I wanted to have every room in dark tones, but she insisted on making at least the guest room brighter.”
I run my fingers along the silky comforter and pore over the room. I kind of regret now leaving the sewing machine behind. It would have fit in here perfectly. Even if as a decoration. “It’s lovely. She’s really good at her job.”
“Glad it meets your royal standards, princess.”
“I’m not picky. You saw my room.”
“Could’ve fooled me with how long it took you to pack.”
“Well, someone kept distracting me with his commentary on my underwear choices.”
“Can you blame me? You have quite the collection.”
Heat rises to my cheeks, and I busily unzip my suitcase, avoiding his gaze. “Didn’t realize you were paying such close attention. ”
He chuckles, low and deep. “Oh, I always pay very close attention when it comes to you.”
I clear my throat, desperate to change the subject before we venture into dangerous territory. “So, um, I really appreciate you letting me stay here. I promise I won’t be in your way too much.”
He pushes off the doorframe and takes a step closer. “You’re never in my way. I want you here.”
The sincerity in his voice catches me off guard. I lift my head, searching his face for any sign of insincerity, but find none. Only a raw honesty that makes my heart ache.
“Sebastian.” I don’t know what to say or how to respond to the intensity of his gaze.
He reaches out, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His touch lingers, and my pulse picks up speed. “I mean it. Stay as long as you need. I’ll be right across the hall if you need anything.”
“Thanks.” I pause, suddenly shy. “Um, do you mind if I cook something for dinner? As a thank you for letting me stay.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “I’d like that.”
With that, he turns and leaves, the door clicking shut behind him. I release a shaky breath.
So, we’re really going to do this?
We’re really going to be roommates.
I wander into the kitchen, rummaging through Sebastian’s fridge and pantry. To my surprise, it’s well-stocked with fresh ingredients. Who knew he became like that?
I settle on making a simple lasagna and start layering the noodles, sauce, and cheese .
Me, staying with Sebastian. Cooking dinner in his kitchen like it’s the most natural thing in the world. If someone had told me a week ago that this is where I’d end up, I would’ve laughed in their face.
But here I am, sliding the dish into the oven and setting the timer. The scent of garlic and tomato fills the air, and my stomach grumbles.
Would this be a normal situation? Could this have been our reality? Maybe I’d even have a ring on my finger by now.
I shake my head.
Now, with dinner taken care of, what should I do next? It feels strange to be in Sebastian’s space, as if I’m intruding on something private. Still, I wonder how the rest of his apartment is.
Is it as impersonal as his room?
Curiosity gets the better of me, and I start to explore. The living room is sleek and modern, with a large flatscreen TV and leather couches. A few abstract art pieces hang on the walls, but otherwise, the decor is minimal.
I round the corner and stumble upon a room that takes my breath away. Except this. It’s a library with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and a rolling ladder. A large bay window overlooks the city skyline, and two plush armchairs sit invitingly in the corner.
It’s like something out of my wildest dreams.
I trace my fingers along the spines of the books, marveling at the sheer variety. Business manuals, classic literature, and wait, is that—
I tilt my head to read the titles. Some I’ve read before and are my favorites. Others are new to me, and most of them are pristine and untouched.
A whole shelf with Regency romance novels.
Does he really read these ?
I pluck one from the shelf, flipping through the pages. This one looks worn, and the spine cracked from repeated readings. Wait, that’s—
“Find something interesting?”
I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Sebastian’s voice. The book tumbles from my hands, landing on the floor with a thud.