35. Lilian
Chapter 35
Lilian
“Blue.” Connor places a kiss on Mary’s hair, sitting down beside her.
“Connor. Why—I told you we have a girls’ night out.” Mary asks.
Connor points to Brandon. “Bran’s here.”
“Bran doesn’t count,” Mary says.
“Elli—” Connor starts, but Mary presses a finger to his lips.
“Lil.” My eyes snap back to Sebastian.
Without warning, he grabs my face, crushing his lips against mine. The kiss is fierce, almost bruising, and I gasp into his mouth.
Is he angry? Is he trying to brand himself on my lips? Emotions swirl through me as his kiss shifts—slow, then harder, then softer and deeper.
When he breaks away, I blink up at him. Dumbfounded.
As if he didn’t just kiss me in front of everyone, Sebastian eases down beside me, draping an arm over my shoulders. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t wait any longer.”
What?!
Everyone at the table gawks at us, me including .
“Well, well, well.” Brandon whistles. “Look who finally got their shit together.”
Naomi elbows him in the ribs, but he chuckles.
“Looks like we need a couple more menus over here.” Mary clears her throat, flagging down our waiter.
Under the table, Sebastian’s hand finds my thigh, squeezing possessively, and I nearly jump out of my skin.
I hiss under my breath. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” His lips brush my ear.
I should be pissed. I should tell him off for this stupid behavior. But as always, my body is not on the same page as me, melting under his touch.
“So, Lil,” Elliot says. “How long has this been going on?”
I open my mouth, then close it again. I don’t even know the answer. Up until seconds ago, I thought he was mad at me.
“Some time.” Sebastian squeezes my thigh. “But we didn’t want to make it official right away.”
“Good to hear. Happy for you two.” Elliot smirks tapping away on his phone, already leaving the table. “If you’ll excuse me.”
Happy. The word feels foreign, ill-fitting. Am I happy? Can I ever truly be happy with Sebastian, given our past? Scared that with one misstep, he hates me?
The waiter arrives, providing a much-needed distraction. Sebastian and Connor place their orders, and I try to ignore the weight of Mary’s concerned gaze, and the knowing glint in Brandon’s eyes.
The night wears on, and we eat, talk, and laugh while the alcohol takes its toll, leaving me feeling a bit tipsy and off-balance.
Sebastian moves his arm down to my waist, his touch both comforting and grounding. “I think it’s time we head home, princess.”
“Alright. ”
We bid farewell to our friends after he takes care of the bill, leaving a generous tip.
The world tilts and sways as he leads me to his car, especially when he scoops me up into his arms, carrying me as if I weigh nothing.
“You don’t have to…” I wrap my arms around his neck.
“But I want to.” He settles me gently into the passenger seat. “So, no protests.”
The drive back is a blur, punctuated by the steady hum of the engine and the faint scent of his cologne. By the time we enter his apartment, I’m half-asleep, in his arms.
A flicker of light catches the corner of my eye as he carries me past the kitchen, and I whip my head around to find the remains of what looks like a romantic dinner for two—candles, a bouquet of lilies, and pasta—abandoned and left to grow cold.
“Stop.” I squirm in his arms, pulse quickening. “Put me down.”
He only tightens his hold. “What’s wrong?”
“The kitchen.” I nod towards it.
He sighs and stops in his tracks. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
“Well, I did.” I struggle again, desperate to stand on my own two feet. To make sure what I saw is real. “Let me down.”
“Okay, okay.” He sets me down at last, and I hurry back to the kitchen.
The plates and gleaming silverware are carefully arranged with cloth napkins and a silver ring around them. The roast beef sits there, sliced into slim pieces, resting in its own savory juices. It’s surrounded by an array of colorful vegetables—tender carrots, crisp green beans, and roasted potatoes that glisten with a sheen of butter and herbs. He even got my favorite flowers, lilies .
It breaks my heart to think of him waiting for me, only to be disappointed.
“Did you do all this?” I ask.
“I, uh, yes. I wanted to do something nice for you after last night.”
“When did you prepare it?”
“I knew you were out, so I came home early to get it done before you returned. Brandon helped, I’m not gonna lie.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
He did this for me?
Unable to look at him, I keep my eyes on the table. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to let him in again. But I should. I want to.
“You went through all this trouble with work and—”
He cuts me off. “You had plans with Mary. I understand.”
“Sebastian, I…” My voice cracks and I can no longer hold back the tears. They stream down my cheeks.
“Hey.” He steps around to face me and gently wipes them away with his thumb. “I’m sorry, princess. I want to make things right.”
“Is this because of a pretend card?”
“There’s no need to play pretend anymore. I want you in my life, but I understand it won’t be easy for you. Can we start fresh and try again?”
“So, you’re not angry?”
“Why would I?”
“I—Because of the documents I went through.”
“That actually helped me out a lot. So, thanks for that. It’s also a reason I made this.”
“So…” He is not upset. He did this for me. He kissed me. My lips tingle, remembering the force of the kiss at the restaurant a few hours earlier .
“So?” His eyes widen. “Fuck. You thought—Lil, please talk to me next time. I’m thankful you did go through them. You’re an absolute genius.”
“Then why…”
“Why what?”
“You accused me of spying, although I did nothing, and the spa…”
“I was afraid and a coward. I was afraid of getting too close to you again, of reopening old wounds. But I already told you I’m going to do whatever it takes to get you back. I was wrong.”
My tears stopped, but his thumb still brushes over my cheek.
“I trust you, princess.”
He trusts me? He—
I wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his chest. His body tenses in surprise before he relaxes, squeezing me closer to him, strong yet tender and shielding me from the world.
“I’m sorry for the dinner,” I mumble against his chest. “You put so much effort into it.”
“We’ll try again tomorrow, alright?” His lips brush my temple. “For now, come to bed.”
I nod, burrowing myself further into the shelter of his arms.
He tenses. “My bed?”
“I…” I want to, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea.
“It’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Actually, can we do something else?”