45. Sebastian
Chapter 4 5
Sebastian
“It’s clean as far as I can tell.” Connor taps away at the keyboard.
“So it’s really a piece offering?”
“I didn’t want to look inside without you. So your guess is as good as mine. But it’s at least no malware.”
After a long day of work, it’s weird to be at Connor’s apartment instead of home with Lil. But I have to find out what’s on that damn USB Drive.
“Alright,” I say. “Show me.”
Connor opens up the first document.
Sender: John Barron, Receiver: Marc Edmunds.
It’s an e-mail exchange.
My eyes widen. “This is… they were in this together. It’s proof.” They hate each other so much that they worked together to break us up and prevent any chance of our families getting involved with each other.
Connor scrolls down further and opens up the other documents, revealing more of their scheme. The engagement announcement. Exchanging the information about the Nexus deal.
It’s all there .
I’m such a fucking idiot. Lil’s tear-streaked face as I left her in the library flashes in my mind. Like the biggest asshole on earth. All the while, it was my father and her uncle pulling the strings. How could I have been so blind?
“Everything I found was planted by them. And the information Lil told her uncle…” he says.
My chest constricts. “It was actually my father.”
He rubs the back of his neck, his brow furrowed. “This is bad.”
“Make copies of everything. We need to make sure that they can’t erase it anymore.”
Connor’s fingers hover over the laptop keyboard before he snaps it shut. “Consider it done.”
“Send it to me as well.” I pace the room.
“Are you going to tell her? Everything?”
That’s the question I’d like the answer to. Let the past be the past and move on? Or rehash it and might lose everything in the process?
Fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do? I want to tell Lil everything, lay it all out on the table. She deserves to know the truth.
But then I remember the way she looked at me when she told me she didn’t want to relive her childhood. The pain in her eyes, the way her voice trembled. She’s been through enough already. Do I really want to dredge up all that shit again? Her mind made her forget for a reason.
If I keep this from her, it’ll always be there, lurking. A secret that could tear us apart if she ever found out. But if I tell her… fuck, I don’t even want to think about what that could do to us.
We’ve been through so much already, fought so hard to get where we are. I can’t lose her again. Not now, not ever.
It’s a double-edged sword. It could set us free, or it could destroy everything we’ve built. And I’m not sure I’m ready to take that risk .
I lean against the wall. How long can I carry it before it breaks me?
Connor sips from a can of energy drink, the metallic clicking sound echoing through the room. “You should tell her. Secrets are what almost broke up Mary and me forever.”
“You’re right, man. I know you’re right. But we’re finally in a good place, you know? After all the shit, I don’t want to fuck that up.”
His gaze is steady. “I get it. I do. But trust me, the longer you wait, the worse it’ll be when she finds out. And she will find out eventually.”
“I…” He’s right, and I hate it. “I don’t want to lose her again. I can’t.”
He sets down his drink. “Look, I’m not saying it’ll be easy. But she loves you. She’s stuck by you through all of this. Don’t you think she deserves the truth?”
I love her more than anything, and the thought of hurting her, of potentially losing her… it hurts like hell. But she deserves the truth, even if it rips me apart to give it to her. I hope we’re strong enough to survive it.
I push off the wall. “Alright. I’ll tell her. But I need to do it my way, on my terms. I can’t drop this on her out of nowhere.”
“Of course. Take your time, and figure out how you want to handle it. But don’t wait too long, yeah? The longer this goes on, the harder it’ll be.”
“Thanks. I owe you one.” I clap him on the shoulder.
He grins. “Nah, you don’t owe me shit.”
I leave Connor’s place and get to our apartment. Inside, the typical scent of cupcakes greets me. I step into the kitchen, expecting to find her there baking. But the room’s empty, the counters spotless. No sign of my princess.
“Lil?”
No response .
Frowning, I head to the library. Maybe she’s curled up with one of her books. But as I scan the shelves, there’s no trace of her.
I practically sprint to my room and push open the door.
There she is, nestled under the covers of our bed.
Our bed. I love how normal it sounds now.
I pause in the doorframe, drinking her in. She’s clad in a sexy nightgown that leaves too little to the imagination. My eyes trace the curve of her body, taking in the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathes peacefully. She’s fucking beautiful.
What do I do, princess? I wish you could tell me what you want.
I cross the room quietly, not wanting to wake her, and sink onto the edge of the mattress, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair from her cheek. Please don’t hate me for it.
She shifts, murmuring something unintelligible before her eyes flutter open. “Sebastian.”
“Hey, princess.” A small grin tugs at my lips despite the heaviness in my chest. “Sorry for waking you.”
She stretches languidly, her body arching. “It’s okay.”
“Go back to sleep.”
She reaches out, her fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of my neck, and pulls me down until her lips brush over mine. “Welcome home.”
I caress her lips with a soft kiss. “It’s good to be home, princess.”
“What time is it?” She sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
The nightgown slips off one shoulder, baring more of her skin to the chill air. I tug it back into place. She looks so adorable, all sleep-tousled and drowsy.
“It’s 10.”
“Really? I just wanted to take a little nap. ”
“You need your rest.” I kiss the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. “Sorry for being late.”
“How was your day?”
My shoulders sag. “It was draining, honestly.”
“You want to talk about it?” Her brows knit together.
“Not tonight, princess.”
“Then come to bed.” She tugs at my hand, her fingers warm and insistent.
I hesitate, the need to wash away the grime of the day warring with the desire to sink into her embrace. “I will, after a quick shower.”
A lazy smile plays at the corners of her mouth, and she lies back down, her hair fanning out across the pillow.
I dip my head, placing another kiss on her forehead, lingering there longer than necessary. Fuck, I can’t lose this. I can’t lose her. Not again.
“Hurry.” Her words are muffled by the pillow.
“Yes, ma’am.” I chuckle and stand, my gaze trailing over her form one last time before I force myself to turn away.
The bathroom tiles are cool beneath my feet as I strip off my clothes, throwing them into the laundry hamper. The water is scalding, steam rising in thick tendrils, and I step under the spray. It beats down on my skin, the pressure almost painful, but I welcome it.
I’ll find a way to tell her, to make her understand. But not tonight. Tonight, I want to hold her close and pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Just for a little while longer.