Twenty-Two
OREN
Shopping is exhausting. After about an hour, I realize two very important things—I don’t think I’ve ever been shopping before and there are far more options in styles alone than I ever dreamed imaginable.
Seriously. Who has time to decide that? I think I ended up with new socks and a single shirt that I’m second-guessing.
There’s something to be said about someone else making these kinds of decisions for you. Under different circumstances, anyway.
On our way to the fourth store, I start to really look at what I’m wearing. Do I like these jeans? Are they comfortable? Do they look good on me? What about this shirt? These sneakers? How do I feel about my underwear?
Honestly, by the end of the day, I want to burst into tears because I feel like I’m drowning. Barely keeping my head above water. And they’re just clothes!
Adak is patient the entire time, constantly reassuring me and telling me what he thinks about the clothes I try on. After the dozenth pair of pants and ones that I was sure made me look weird, but Adak loved, I determined that Adak may not be able to provide an unbiased opinion.
Which left me further conflicted with what I was putting on because I don’t have any concept of what I like or what looks good.
These aren’t things I spent time thinking about.
Every ounce of energy was dedicated to staying off my family’s radar so that maybe I’d get a day of peace.
Not whether a particular shirt is flattering.
By the time we get home, it’s late. I’m frustrated and ready to pass out. Clothes and me, we do not have a very good relationship.
While Adak locks the house, I head upstairs and shut myself into his bathroom.
I mean to strip down and get ready for bed, but I end up staring at myself in the mirror instead.
How do I feel about what I’m wearing? After several minutes, I decide I simply don’t care enough to have any solid opinion on the matter. They’re just clothes.
To me, clothes are a necessity. Like air.
Food. Water. There have always been some I didn’t like, but it was usually based on how they fit me.
Extreme discomfort was enough to make me shove a few things in the back of my closet to never see the light of day.
Otherwise, for the most part, I just put them on and head on my way.
Eventually, I strip down and drop my laundry in the dirty basket.
Then I wash up. Stepping out of the bathroom, a yawn overtakes me and I sit on the bed in nothing but my underwear, which I’m equally not sure how I feel about them.
Not after seeing that there are endless possibilities.
I’m nearly thankful in this one aspect that I’m not a woman.
Their underwear department was massive in one of the stores.
How do they make a decision on something that so few people even see? !
Another yawn has me laying back and closing my eyes for a minute. I’m tired. I’m not sure I mean that only referring to my physical state. Every piece of me feels wrung out and I haven’t caught up.
My father has been silent, which leaves me feeling unsteady.
I made sure not to take a thorough look around when we were out today.
Just in case I saw him or one of my brothers.
I didn’t think I would. I’ve never known where they shopped, but something about the stores we went in told me that my father and brothers would never step foot inside.
I may be style illiterate, but I knew they didn’t have what my family wore.
My eyes flutter open when the bed suddenly falls from under me. When I am able to focus, I realize it’s not the bed that’s moved but me. Adak picked me up and carries me to the head of the bed, laying me down and tucking me in. He kisses my forehead and I sigh happily.
“I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he says quietly.
A smile drifts over my lips, but I don’t stay awake until he returns. I’m already fast asleep.
I wake up once in the night feeling startled.
My heart races as I stare into the dark room.
Moonlight filters in through the drapes, but there are shadows everywhere.
Dane always liked the shows that were documentary style telling of different people’s experiences in their haunted homes.
I’m suddenly reminded of them as I look around.
“Oren?”
I’m not alone.
The feeling of relief that moves through me has me shivering as I scoot a little closer to him. Adak reaches for me, holding me close. Pressing me tightly to his chest and kissing the side of my face.
“You okay? Your heart’s racing.”
His voice is sexy and swoony every day, but thick with sleep? There’s something deep and growly that I feel all over my body.
“Yes. Think I had a nightmare,” I say, because I’m really not sure what woke me.
I know it’s not because someone’s here. Adak was setting the security system when I came upstairs.
I’ve watched him do it and I know that he’s very thorough in making sure every single window and door is shut properly and locked.
The first time he had me follow him to witness his routine, I couldn’t help but think that maybe he’s had an experience with a stalker. Or someone else dangerous and intrusive.
Then again, it could be paparazzi.
He hums, hugging me securely, and I fall back asleep.
The next time I wake is morning. I can feel the light bathing the room behind my closed eyes. The sun is clearly out today. Adak and I are wrapped together, chest to chest. He’s already awake, and his fingers are moving softly through my hair.
It brings a smile to my face. I can’t believe that just a short couple of weeks ago, I was in my cold, impersonal childhood room. Alone. Miserable. Everything inside me feels different now. I feel lighter. Brighter, like there’s something warm inside me that hadn’t been there before.
I don’t think it’s only from getting away from that place, but put there in large part by Adak.
My arms tighten around Adak as I stretch my back. It’s then that I freeze and my eyes widen. I’m still largely naked. I didn’t put pajamas on last night. And… my fingers gingerly brush Adak’s back and my face heats. Holy hell, Adak is unclothed too!
“What just happened?” Adak asks, gently pulling back so he can look at me.
Which only makes me flush further. His look of concern is so genuine. So… new and needed. I look between us, unable to get my tongue to move out of the way so I can speak. We’re not wearing clothes!
Adak chuckles. “I take it falling asleep without dressing wasn’t intentional last night, huh?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No,” I croak and clear my voice. “Do you… usually sleep like this?”
He nods. “Most of the time, yes.”
His fingers brush my hair from my forehead as he continues to stare into my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Adak says. “Stop overthinking, Oren.”
Closing my eyes, I take a deep inhale and hold it for a minute, hoping that forcing my lungs to burn will make my heart stop trying to pound out of my chest. And perhaps remind my dick that it’s being inappropriate right now.
I startle when his lips press to mine. My eyes snap open and then flutter close again when his hand tightens in my hair, pulling me close to kiss me deeply.
My hands move over his back, feeling his muscles flex.
His skin is smooth and taut, just like everywhere else I’ve touched.
One of my hands moves down, feeling the elastic to his underwear.
I allow my touch to move further over his hip, following the soft fabric until I find the end.
He’s wearing boxer briefs, but they’re short, ending at the top of his thigh.
While I try to make my hand behave and just return to his back, I can’t seem to stop myself from skimming over his ass. I’ve never felt one before. It’s just as lush and toned as the rest of him.
For some reason, that just does it for me.
My hand moves quickly back to his spine, but my cock is throbbing now.
There’s absolutely zero way he doesn’t feel it pressed against his pelvis.
Even keeping my hands on his back—the sexiest back to ever exist, mind you—I think the way he’s kissing me is driving me mad.
I pull my mouth from his and turn my face away. It’s hot. Burning. I squeeze my eyes shut as I chant in my head for my dick to deflate.
But goddamn it aches!
“Oren?”
Ugh, his sexy, swoony voice isn’t helping.
“I need to… go to the bathroom,” I grit out, not looking at him. I’m sure I’m as red as a boiled lobster at this point.
His fingers trail down my stomach and stop right at the elastic. The choked whimper that escapes is embarrassing. “Want some help?” he asks.
“Oh, god,” I grunt and try to slide away. “You don’t have to.”
Adak’s lips touch my jaw and I shiver. I’m going to explode. “Do you want me to?”
Telling him no would be a lie. But is telling him yes putting pressure on him? My body tenses because I don’t know what the right answer is.
His fingers move further south and the moment they touch my hard dick through my underwear, I can feel the leaking wet mess form on my skin.
“Relax, Oren,” Adak says. “If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. But I’m not sure that’s the case.”
I shake my head.
“You don’t want me to touch you?”
I start shaking my head no again, because that’s not it. But I realize shaking my head also says no, I don’t want to be touched. “I do,” I finally say and chance looking at him. “But I don’t want you to if you don’t want to.”
His smile stops my heart. Then his mouth is on mine again and his hand is more insistently touching my dick. Down the length, cupping my balls. Fuck, I’m going to lose my mind. He spends several minutes just touching me through my underwear as I squirm for more.
“Can I take these off?” he asks into my mouth.
I nod as if I’m possessed.
Adak chuckles. And helps me wiggle out of them. His mouth barely leaves mine, and when his hand actually closes around my bare cock, the groan I let out sounds like tectonic plates moving. My hips jerk upward, shoving my cock insistently into his fist in reflex.
God, his hand feels good. Strong, tight, but not too tight. He moves down my dick and then back up, rubbing the head of my cock, twisting his hand slightly, and going back down. He grips my balls again, softly squeezing them.
The sounds that come out of me are horrifying.
But I can’t make them stop. I can’t do anything but what my body is doing all on its own.
When his hand concentrates on my dick again, my orgasm is quick and brings tears to my eyes.
I come on a gasp, my body stiffening entirely as I shoot my load all over my chest.
I turn into limp noodles after, gasping for breath. I’ve only come maybe a handful of times in my life. But the threat of my father or brothers walking in or showing up at the shop was far too real. It happened often. So that became a fantasy I never even dreamed about.
“Feeling better?” Adak asks, his lips at my ear.
I nod. “So good,” I slur. From sleep or the first orgasm that felt like this, I don’t know. I’m very aware of the fact that I’m twenty-four and have zero experience. It makes me self-conscious and avoid joking about sex or even talking about it with my friends when they start teasing each other.
This might seem like something simple to most people. But to me, it’s a big deal. A big step. And it felt so damn good.
“When’s the last time you got off?” he asks, and I tense.
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
Adak nods, pressing kisses to my jaw. “Remember what you promised me.”
I swallow. “What?”
“You need to talk about sex and your needs, Oren. Don’t just run to the bathroom.”
It takes some effort to force myself to look at him. He’s so beautiful. So… breathtaking. “I know, but I couldn’t really form words at the moment.”
He grins and nips my lips. His fingers are still lightly moving over my dick, so I know he doesn’t miss the way it twitches in response.
“I’m not confident in sex,” I whisper, trying not to be embarrassed about admitting it.
“I have practically zero experience, so talking about it isn’t easy.
But I think we can suffice it to say I’m always going to want you to touch me.
But I’m… unsure if I should say it because I don’t want you to feel pressured. I don’t want you to resent me.”
“Oren,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead to mine. “It might not make sense to you, but you have no idea how much hearing that means to me.”
I’m not entirely sure which part he means, but I grip his back with the arm he’s laying on tightly.
“Just so it’s very clear, I do want to touch you.
The male body is beautiful. Yours is just…
divine.” I snort. “We can talk about your self-image another time. But I enjoy touching you. I think maybe I didn’t communicate clearly about sex.
My needs are more of a lack of. I don’t particularly want to engage in sex acts if they concern my own body.
I enjoy being touched, but when that touch turns sexual, I stop enjoying it. Does that make sense?”
I nod. “You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?”
“It’s a learning experience, Oren. You’re not doing anything wrong unless I tell you I don’t like it and you continue to do it.
But my point is, I enjoy touching you. I really enjoyed getting you off.
I’m not always going to want to and I will need you to take care of yourself at those times, but this isn’t always going to be you hiding somewhere to get off, sweetheart.
Far from it. And I told you the other day—I’m not offended by your arousal. I love knowing that I turn you on.”
The tension in my body reacts. “I feel all over the place. Sex feels very big to me. Even this.”
His fingers move over my balls and down to that place behind them. I shiver, trying to swallow the groan as he keeps touching me.
“Do you think you’re a top or a bottom?” Adak asks.
Once again, my tongue feels thick and my cheeks heat. I need to be a damned adult and talk about sex without having a teenage reaction, but fuck! No one has ever asked me these things outright before.
“I don’t know. Sex has always kind of been… someone else’s enjoyment. Not mine.”
Adak sighs. “We can find out together what you enjoy.” His lips press to a spot under my ear that has my dick filling again. “I’m not attracted to people by the typical definition, Oren,” he murmurs, his voice deep and sexy. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you in my own way.”
His hand wraps around my dick again and my second orgasm not only lasts longer, but somehow feels even better.