9. Michael
When Sarah insisted that she drive herself to dinner this evening instead of my picking her up, I thought she was going to bail on me and stand me up. But she sat across from me sipping her cup of soda shyly, and she’d been mostly quiet the entire evening. She wore a pale blue top that made her eyes seem larger and more full of life, but my eyes were continually drawn away from her face toward her cleavage, which was on full display with the deep V neck of the blouse.
While we ate, we hadn’t said much to each other, so when I draped my napkin over my plate, finished with my sausage tortellini, I decided to attempt a meaningful conversation with her, despite the noise of the restaurant and the raucous kids in the booth behind us.
“So, you finished nursing school, obviously…” My statement was left open-ended on purpose, hoping she’d fill in details. I knew so little about her, anyway, but my curiosity about what happened in the past few years was piqued the moment we bumped into each other.
Sarah set her cup down and wiped her mouth, then draped her own napkin across her near-empty plate. She nodded and smiled softly. “I graduated and ended up taking a job at a children’s hospital across town. When the job at St. Anne’s came up, I knew it was perfect for me. It’s my dream job.” She paused then added thoughtfully, “What about you? You were supposed to get a promotion.”
When it came down to the brass tacks, I passed on that promotion because of her. Or at the time, I thought it was her. I found out later on that I had a self-confidence issue that made me second-guess things and doubt myself. So, while I really did find her the most incredible woman in the world and I had convinced myself she was the reason I passed on it, it was over-romanticizing things and would put too much pressure on her. I didn’t want to scare her off.
“I, uh… It just wasn’t a good fit. So I stayed.” I shrugged my shoulders and noticed her smile fade slightly. She looked down at her plate, and I continued, because I feared she was upset with me. “Honestly, I’m glad I passed on it. I’d have been out there living my best life and not here where you are.” I reached across the table, and my fingertips brushed hers, and at the same time, the kids behind me started jumping in their booth, shaking the whole thing. It jarred me, and I winced.
“That was sweet,” she said, just as I growled in frustration.
“Kids should not act like that in public,” I grumbled, feeling my frustration welling up.
“Ah, well, kids are kids.” Sarah waved it away with a smile, and I wished I could be so casual and let things like that go. I took a deep breath and tried to refocus on our conversation.
“So, why aren’t you seeing anyone?” I asked her, still annoyed by the cacophony of giggles and shrieks coming from our neighboring booth.
“Oh, gosh,” she said, fanning herself. Her eyes swept over the dining room and landed on mine. “I just haven’t found the right person. What about you?”
The noise and chaos continued, and I gritted my teeth in an attempt to squelch my rising temper, but I managed to squeak out, “Uh, same… But you have a child, so I thought…”
One of the kids behind me slammed into the booth seat again, jarring me so hard I lurched forward and my hand almost tipped my glass of soda over onto the table. I scowled and looked over my shoulder at the woman who’d brought them in. Her face was red with frustration and embarrassment, but she was doing nothing to stop the kids from being so out of control. I had a mind to shout at them myself, but it wasn’t the right thing to do, regardless of the fact that they were disrupting the entire restaurant.
I looked back at Sarah, who wrung her hands in her lap nervously and let her gaze bounce around the room. It was clear she was as flustered by the kids’ bad behavior as I was, and I didn’t know how to react. I wanted to get us out of here, but we hadn’t paid yet.
“You know, I want to have kids someday, but my kids will never act like that at all.” I picked up my drink and downed it, wishing it had a touch of whiskey in it to help me calm down a little.
Sarah’s smile brightened as she tilted her head and said, “Oh, but they’re so fun. I imagine they’re just happy to be eating out instead of at home.”
“But they have zero social skills. Someone needs to teach them a lesson. It’s ridiculous, honestly.” Frustration tightened my chest as she cleared her throat.
“If you’ll excuse me for just a second, I think I need to use the restroom.” Sarah’s polite smile stayed on her face as she rose, leaving her purse and jacket behind, but my gut twisted into a knot.
I watched her walk away realizing I’d upset her with my comments and then felt like a heel. She had a kid, and I had just insulted her attitude toward children, and maybe her self-worth as a mother. Why was it so difficult for me to keep control of my mouth? I had a horrible habit of blurting things out without thinking about them, and a lot of times, it offended people or angered them. In this case, I probably hurt her feelings, and what if she never wanted to talk to me again?
She was gone a while, long enough for me to think about my reaction to what happened and make me feel super guilty. When she came back, I feared she was going to take her things and leave, but I rose to meet her and she paused as she picked up her purse. When she sat down, I realized she wasn’t just going to run off, though I’d have much rather gone somewhere quieter.
“I’m sorry we got interrupted. Now, I was going to ask if I would get to meet your daughter sometime… I’m not normally so grumpy about kids.” I tried to get to the point of an apology for my outburst, but the incessant noise behind me with the kids now whining and complaining about their food drove me nuts. I couldn’t even hear myself think.
“I think that would be nice someday. I’d like to get to know each other a bit more first, though.” Her words were so quiet I barely heard them, or maybe she’d been talking at that volume all evening, but the added noise of tantrums being thrown swallowed them up.
I saw the waiter walking past and flagged him down. He stopped, but before he did, I was already talking. “We”ll take the check, please, and can you do something about the noise? It’s ridiculous. I can’t even hear myself think.”
Sarah looked down and her cheeks flushed as she tugged her jacket on and tried to avoid eye contact with the waiter who dipped into his apron and took out the check, but I handed him my card before he could even lay it down.
“How about we talk somewhere quieter?” Sarah offered, and it was the best thing I’d heard all evening. I thought her annoyance was with my reaction to the situation, but maybe she was just as annoyed by the kids’ loudness.
“That sounds incredible…”
When the waiter returned with my card and a receipt, I signed it and stood, taking Sarah’s hand to lead her out. The mother of the two rambunctious children grimaced at me as we passed her table, and Sarah smiled at her. I couldn’t muster a smile. They ruined our dinner. But I was thankful that it led to Sarah and me having a bit more time together elsewhere. I didn’t care what we did. I just wanted to be with her.
I didn’t want this night to end.