14. Sarah
The work week hadn’t gone quite as planned, but Friday was here and Michael had invited me to dinner. I wore a sexy negligee beneath my dress, hoping he’d invite me back to his place, and I told Mom not to wait up. Emily was stoked for her first “sleepover” with Nana, and I was grateful for parents who supported my social life.
“Oh, these!” Nev said, pulling out some large hoop earrings, but I scrunched my nose. If things got spicy between me and Michael, I was sure to lose one of them or get them caught on something.
“No, I was thinking of an updo with my diamond studs,” I told her, twisting my hair around on my head to hold it off my neckline. The dress I’d chosen was low-cut, bearing almost all of my cleavage, though I intended to wear a sweater over it to mask some of that so Dad didn’t throw a fit about it.
“God, you’re so lucky,” Nev swooned, flopping over onto my bed as she watched me pin my hair in place. “He’s so rich, and he’s so cute.”
I chuckled at her and watched her reflection in the mirror. “He’s just a human, Nev. You’d put him on a pedestal, and when he fell off, you’d think he was a monster. Besides, he’s a coworker. I don’t think of his money or his looks like that.”
With my hair in place, I put in my earrings and then pressed a finger to my lips to remove a smudge of my lipstick. When I turned around, Nev was holding my sweater, standing at the foot of my bed.
“Well, you’re lucky to have such a hot doctor interested in you, coworker or not. And I hope you truly appreciate how lucky you are to be building a relationship with him knowing who he really is.” Her look of accusation, combined with the way she tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, were totally judgmental.
I ignored it, knowing tonight was definitely the night I planned to tell Michael about Emily. We’d been so close to that moment at his house last week, but he got called away for an emergency surgery. I’d been back and forth on what to say, when to say it, and whether or not I was emotionally ready for his reaction, but I had to tell him. There was no sense in procrastinating now.
“I have to go say bye to Em.” I plucked my sweater from her finger and headed toward the house.
Nev followed on my heels, not saying much, but I got the feeling she was frustrated with me. If she put herself in my shoes, however, maybe she’d feel different. The entire situation was so complex and dynamic, at any moment, things could implode. Michael had money, and while I didn’t think for a second that he’d try to take Emily away, I knew it was possible. It was also possible he’d never speak to me again or want anything to do with me or Emily. It was all about timing and presentation.
“Mommy!” Emily screeched and ran up to me when I walked through the back door. Her hands were covered in chocolate sauce that matched the mustache on her face. I could see the near-empty bowl of ice cream on the table next to Dad’s, and he sat enjoying his own dessert.
“Oh, baby! Watch out,” I said, dodging her bear hug. Nev caught her, whisking her off her feet and spinning her around. “Thanks, Nev.” I chuckled and grabbed a paper towel, returning to wipe Emily’s hands and face clean.
“So, you’re going on a date?” Dad asked in the same skeptical tone he used for every question. I’d told them all that I had a date and to not wait up, but I hadn’t mentioned too many details.
“Yeah, Dad. His name is Michael. We work together.” I smiled as I cleaned my daughter’s chocolate mess and then pecked her on the forehead. “You have fun with Nana and Pop, okay?”
“Yes, we have sweepover!” Emily clapped her hands, and Nev carried her across the kitchen to the sink to wash her hands properly. I thought I was going to sneak out easily, but Dad had more questions. Ones that frustrated me.
“Work with him, huh? How long have you known him?” Now his tone was stern, even accusatory.
“I, uh… I just started working at St. Anne’s, Dad.” I couldn’t just lie to him, though I’d kept secrets from him. In my mind, that wasn’t the same thing.
I started for the living room to watch for Michael to arrive, but Dad’s inquisition continued. “Does he know about Emily?”
I scowled and glanced at Nev, who avoided eye contact entirely. Then I stood in the archway between the kitchen and living room and turned to face him.
“He knows I have a daughter, yes,” I told him, but I could see a storm brewing.
“Does he know she is his daughter?”
My eyes shot to Nev, whose cheeks were bright red. She said nothing, and I felt rage bubbling up. She’d told him the truth about Michael? How could she? And why would she?
“I don’t think that’s a conversation for tonight.” I tucked my purse under my arm and pulled my sweater more tightly around my shoulders. I’d have to deal with Nev later, but right now, my main concern was getting out of the house without more drama. But Dad had other ideas.
“Some pretty rich boy knocks you up and leaves you for five years? Now he wants back at you. Why? Does he have no sense in his head?” Dad stood and dropped his napkin on the table, then pushed the dirty bowls away in a huff. “You are going to end this thing tonight. Emily needs someone in her life who is reliable. You can’t think he’s going to be anything other than irresponsible and immature.”
I scoffed and glared at my sister who cradled Emily in her arms as she passed by me on the way out of the room. I was thankful that she knew I wouldn’t want my little girl to hear this disagreement, but her apologetic look did little to calm my anger.
“He’s not like that, Dad. You don’t even know him.” I glanced out the front but didn’t see headlights yet, so I turned back to Dad.
“Well, you’re ending it. And if you don’t, you can find somewhere else to live. I won’t tolerate this nonsense.” He picked up the dirty bowls and carried them to the sink, and I turned and barged across the living room, knowing he didn’t mean any of that. his veiled threat was just that—an empty promise of punishment he could never enact. He was too protective to kick me out. But he was angry, and I wasn’t interested in being around him when he acted so controlling.
Luckily for me, Michael pulled into the drive just as I got to the front door, so to avoid a confrontation, I marched right out to his car and climbed in before he even opened his door.
“Perfect timing… Hey, is everything okay?” he asked, and I shook my head.
“Just drive. It’s my dad… that’s all.”
Michael did as I asked, and as an added bonus, he said very little to me as he drove. But his hand did slide over into my lap and take mine. He laced his fingers between mine and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. I loved that despite not knowing what was wrong, he knew I needed reassurance and comfort, and he did what he could to provide that for me.
When we pulled into the parking lot for the only five-star hotel in town, I knew it was a good thing I’d worn a negligee. The fancy Italian restaurant hosted by the hotel was also five-star, and expensive, so I felt a little underdressed. But Michael acted like I was the most amazing woman in the room, even as we ordered drinks and hors d’oeuvres.
“This place is awfully fancy,” I told him as I sipped my glass of wine. His smile stretched from ear to ear, though I didn’t think it was a boastful thing. He looked happy to be with me and nothing more.
“Well, after the tough week I’ve had, I wanted to do something special.” Michael snapped his napkin and draped it over his lap. I was so glad he was in a much better mood than he’d been at work all week long, which made me a bit more comfortable with my resolution for the evening. But it made me wonder if work was the only source of his stress and if so, why he didn’t try to find something else, or at least not accept residents who frustrated him so much.
“So…” I said, picking up a roll, “you seemed pretty on edge this week. Is everything okay there?” I tore a piece of the bread off and popped it in my mouth, hoping he’d feel comfortable enough with me to actually say what was bothering him.
But Michael shook his head and gestured with his hand, waving away my concern. “Just a stressful week, that’s all. I’m fine.” He reached over with his foot and made sure it was touching my foot, and I felt my cheeks warm. Though I wouldn’t say I was happy with that answer, at least he was happy. Maybe he just didn’t talk about his work stress so that he’d stay in a good mood. I got the feeling, however, that there was more he hadn’t told me, but I didn’t have any right to pry since I, too, was hiding a secret.
The waiter brought our food, which was exquisite—chicken marsala with steamed vegetables and tiramisu for dessert. It all paired quite well with the wine Michael selected, and by the time we were done eating, my head swam a little. I fought thoughts of the argument with Dad the entire time we were eating dinner, and it only strengthened my conviction that tonight was the night.
“So, there’s a reason I chose this restaurant…” Michael gave me a seductive grin, and I already knew what he’d say and my body warmed. I tilted my head and leaned in slightly as he stretched his hand across the table. “I got us a room. Would you like to join me upstairs?” He slipped a room key out of his pocket and flashed it at me, and I grinned.
“Why, Dr. Lawson, how inappropriate of you.” I feigned shock and offense then said, “Of course I would.”
When he took my hand, I stood to follow him. I wondered how he was paying for the meal, but he led me away from the table casually, as if it were taken care of already, and we walked right up to the elevator and pushed the call button.
“You planned this all out, didn’t you? Brought me here to seduce me?” I kept my tone firm but my body loose. I was already on fire waiting for us to get to the room. The elevator doors slid open, and he guided me by a hand in the small of my back. We stepped inside, and the doors slid shut as his hand rounded the curve of my butt.
“I think you need a checkup. That’s all,” he said as he pressed the button for the fourth floor. The elevator climbed, and so did my blood pressure, slowly creeping upward at the thought of his hands on my skin.
“Ah, but it’s forbidden for doctors to date their nurses, and it’s even more forbidden for doctors to?—”
He squeezed my cheek, making me jump and snicker, then said, “What don’t you understand about doctor’s orders?”
The fun banter continued all the way to our room, and once inside, he became an animal. Our clothes were discarded like unwanted burdens before we even reached the bed. His hands were rough, their touch a sharpened delight that my body responded to with eagerness. Michael”s eyes flashed with primal desire, his gaze roving over me as if committing every inch of my body to memory.
”I think it”s time for a very thorough examination,” he growled, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through my chest.
“Good, because I have some places that are really achy right now. I really need you to look at them, Doctor.” I clawed at his skin as he attacked my neck and jawline with his lips and teeth. “But what if someone finds out?”
His fingers traced the outline of my body, marking the path his gaze had just traveled. Every touch was deliberate, precise, nurturing an electrifying anticipation that grew with each passing second. His palm splayed over my heart, feeling the rapid beat against his touch.
“We’ll just have to keep it a secret. Doctor”s orders,” he teased, pressing a searing kiss to my collarbone.
His fingers continued their exploration, dancing over the ridges of my spine and dipping lower, tracing the curve of my hip before making their way around to the front again. His touch was intoxicating, sending jolts of pleasure rippling through my body with every contact.
”Trust me,” he murmured against my skin, his voice husky with desire. ”I”m very good at keeping secrets.”
He leaned in to seal his words with a fiery kiss that consumed all my thoughts, the world narrowing until it was just Michael and me. His taste was a heady mix of the red wine we”d shared and something uniquely his. The kiss deepened, tongues tangling in a dance as old as time but feeling so fresh, so new between us.
”I believe you,” I said, the words barely a whisper between our shared breaths. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer until there was no space left between us. Our bodies melded together, the heat from his skin seeping into mine as if trying to brand me as his own.
His mouth left mine to trail a path of heated kisses down my throat, pausing at the sensitive spot on my collarbone. His teeth grazed the skin there, a promise of what he had planned for me. I gasped, arching up to him as his hands skated down my sides, thumbs brushing against the underside of my breasts, eliciting a whimper.
”Shh,” Michael whispered, voice filled with mirth. ”You wouldn”t want us to get caught now, do you?”
My answer came in the form of a moan as he continued his careful exploration of my body. He was indeed thorough, his doctor”s instincts seemingly kicking in as his fingers traced every contour and dip, every groove and rise. His touch was firm yet gentle, determined yet patient—each stroke, each caress calculated to bring me to the brink of pleasure before pulling back, only to start the exploration anew.
“Michael,” I panted as his lips found my soft folds and kneaded them, a single thumb pressing against my swollen clit.
”Patience,” he murmured against my skin, voice deliciously teasing even as his fingers kept their torturous pace. His breath coasted over me, adding to the delicious sensation building in my core.
I bit my lip, attempting to stifle the breathy whimpers that threatened to spill from my throat. But his expert touches and the hot trail of his lips over my body incited a flame that was impossible to suppress. I gasped as his mouth moved higher, his tongue flicking out to lap at my sensitive bud.
”Michael,” I moaned again, gripping the sheets beneath me.
He chuckled against me, the vibration rattling me to my core which he penetrated with a few fingers. My back came off the bed, arching upward to meet the pleasure as he continued his exploration, each touch making me see stars. As he added another finger, my breath hitched, the sensation of being filled overwhelming.
”No need to hold back,” Michael murmured against my skin, his fingers moving in a rhythmic dance that had my toes curling and my heart pounding. ”Let yourself go. Let me hear you.”
His words were the final push I needed. Clinging to him, I surrendered to the wave of pleasure washing over me. My orgasm hit me like a freight train, the world spinning on its axis as I gasped out his name.
”Michael!” The echo of his name lingered in the room, bouncing off the walls and dissolving into the silence. My body was a live wire, trembling under his touch as the aftershocks coursed through me.
He didn’t slow down but continued lapping, reveling in the taste of my release. Then his fingers slowly withdrew, his lips being replaced by his thumb, gently rubbing against my still-sensitive nub. Beneath his ministrations, I writhed and whimpered, lost in a world of pure bliss.
”Did I mention that I always follow my doctor”s orders very seriously?” I gasped between twitches and jolts, and he chuckled a warm baritone vibration that made me want more.
“Ah, well, there is one place I have yet to examine,” he said, gripping my hips. I yelped in surprise as he flipped me over and lay across my backside. “I hope you”re ready for your second procedure, Doctor”s orders,” he teased, his warm breath causing goosebumps to rise on my skin.
His fingers grazed over the curve of my butt, gently kneading the soft flesh before sliding down toward my thighs. The teasing touch sent a shiver racing up my spine, and I found myself pushing back against him, craving more of his tantalizing caresses. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he commented, ”Eager, are we?” His fingers trailed upward again, tracing the line of my spine and sending tingles dancing through my nerves.
”Michael,” I pleaded, squirming beneath him as his thick erection slid between my legs. He teased my entrance, though it felt more like he was spreading my moisture around.
“Have you ever had anal?” he asked, his breath hot against my cheek. “Because I want to feel you bare, no condom.”
I whimpered and bucked upward toward him. I’d done it once, but I hadn’t come that way. And God, did I want to come again. If Michael could pull this off, I’d be putty in his hands.
“Is that an order, Doctor?”
Michael didn’t respond other than to push a little harder against my entrance, causing a slight sting that was both alarming and exciting. His hand moved soothingly up and down my side, simultaneously distracting and comforting me from the alien sensation at my core.
”Yes,” he responded eventually, low and husky in my ear. His voice held a commanding edge that sent shivers through me. The anticipation of a new experience had my pulse racing as he let his digits dance around my entrance, teasing and preparing in equal measure. His fingers slipped into me once again, but this time, at the unexplored territory, making me gasp. The sensation was powerful and almost painful, but also intense. I wanted more.
“God… oh, God…” I panted, clawing at the sheets. He spread my moisture around, teasing me and stretching my hot entrance, and then he slowly pushed himself in, the tip of his erection barely breaching me. I gasped, the sensation unfamiliar yet intensely erotic.
”Relax,” he whispered into my ear, his fingers tracing soothing circles on my hip. ”Let me know if it”s too much.”
The words were a scant comfort as he pushed in further. I grimaced, clenching my eyes shut as I bore down against him, allowing more of him to fill me. The pain was there, but it was quickly evaporating under the rise of pleasure that Michael knew how to incite.
I felt my body slowly adjusting to his intrusion as he moved minutely within me, each gentle thrust making it a bit easier, a bit more pleasurable. His hand shifted from my hip to between my legs, circling my nub with a rhythm that matched his careful movements. I gasped, the dual sensations driving me toward madness.
”Michael,” I groaned, my fingers clutching at the sheets tighter. He began to pick up speed, his hips rolling against mine in a steady rhythm, the sensation of him filling me completely overwhelming. His hand never faltered on my clit, pushing me closer and closer to that precipice once again.
”God… you feel so good,” he rasped out, his voice strained. His fingers, never stopping their sweet torment, moved in time with his thrusts, the rhythm pushing me to the edge. My body tightened around him, my senses heightened and ready for another release.
”Nearly there, love,” he whispered hotly against my skin. His thumb rubbed a particularly sensitive spot, and pleasure shot through me like lightning. His other hand snaked up to roll one of my nipples between his fingers, pinching lightly and eliciting a gasp from me.
Beneath him, I was writhing and whimpering, so close to the edge that I could taste the impending ecstasy on my tongue. The room was filled with the sounds of our labored breathing and the rustling of sheets, punctuated by my own desperate moans and gasps from the pleasure he was giving me. His movements became more rushed as he chased his own release, all the while driving me toward mine.
His husky voice broke through the fog of my lust-addled mind as he growled, ”Come for me, love… let it go.” With a strangled sob, I surrendered to the waves of pleasure that washed over me. I heard him curse under his breath as I clenched around him, triggering his climax. He held me close as we rode out our orgasms together, his remaining heavy panting a comforting rhythm in my ear. My body pulsed with satisfaction, and I let out a contented sigh, collapsing onto the sheets underneath him.
Michael followed suit, easing himself out of me before collapsing by my side. His arm draped protectively over me, his fingers trailing lazily across my sweat-slick skin. I turned to face him, exhaustion seeping into my bones, but the look in his eyes made me forget all about my fatigue.
Heat and tenderness mingled perfectly in his gaze, his hand tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. ”That was… incredible,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead as he pulled me against his body.
It was perfect—the sex, the night, even the timing. My heart felt full. His body against mine felt right. So, I cleared my throat and started my prepared talk.
“So…” I pushed the nerves away and wrapped an arm around him. “Where do you see us going?”
Michael smiled. “I thought you’d never ask. Honestly, Sarah, I see something here. I want more than just a fling. I want a family with you.”
My heart soared at his confession, and I couldn’t stop the smile that graced my lips. “So, you want to have kids?”
My fingers traced lines on his back, and he pressed his lips to my forehead again. “Yes, more than anything. I want a big family.”
I was so close to the precipice and jumping off that I almost blurted it out, but I had a few more questions for him. Unfortunately, before I got to ask another question, he cut me off with a statement I didn’t expect.
“Of course, I don’t think I want to stay in Savannah the rest of my life. I want to see the world, work in other places.”
I drew back inwardly, but I left my body pressed against his. This was something I hadn’t even thought of as being a conflict for us. My home was Savannah, and while I did want to see the world, I had no intention of doing that by moving to new places. That’s what vacations were for.
“You mean, you don’t want to live here?” I tried to keep my own disappointment out of my tone, but he caught on. I couldn’t move away from here. Emily needed family around her, and the schools were great.
“Well, yeah. Why do you think I applied for jobs in California and Toronto?” He leaned back. “This place stifles my creativity and joy. I want to explore and go new places. “Would you ever consider moving away?”
His tone held so much hope, I hated to dash it, but I had to be honest. If he was going to move away, I didn”t know if I should even tell him about Emily. For certain, we’d never have a relationship, and I didn’t want Emily halfway around the world for holidays and summers.
“I can’t move away. Emily needs her grandparents. Besides, I have my dream job here.” I sighed and rolled to my back, trying to stay super positive. “Savannah has so many good qualities. Besides, with your tenure, you have six weeks of paid vacation. That’s at least four decent trips a year. In a few years, you could see half the world.”
“And still be glued to this dumpy little town,” he grumbled, then rolled off the bed. I felt hurt by his rash comment, though I did understand what he was feeling to some extent. I just knew for my daughter, I had to stay here. It would be different if I didn’t have kids yet.
When he walked into the bathroom, I realized that it might be different for him too, if he knew he had a daughter who needed her family and some stability. But maybe not. Maybe he’d want to drag her around the world too, and that didn’t sit right with me.
I got up, dressing as quickly as I could, then shot him a text that I was going home to a “family emergency”. Which was a total lie. All I’d be going home to was another argument, but I had to clear my head.
If he wanted to move away, then I couldn’t tell him about her, and I didn’t know where that left us, either.