20. Sarah
From the moment Michael and I got in the car, he regaled me with tales of his mother and childhood. He spoke with such passion and warmth that I couldn”t help but feel like I was a part of his memories. However, when he reached the part about his father”s cancer diagnosis and eventual passing, a layer of sadness settled over him like a heavy fog. His voice quavered as he struggled to hold back tears, and my heart ached for him. As someone who still had both parents alive and well, I couldn”t imagine the pain of losing someone so close. In that moment, I gave him my undivided attention, listening carefully without interruption, hoping to offer some small comfort to him in his grief.
As we pulled up to the house, his body language shifted. He turned off the car engine and gently took my hand in his, squeezing it with a smile that reached his eyes. I very much enjoyed how pleasant the day had been so far.
“Are you ready?” he asked, and I nodded eagerly.
“If your mother is half as amazing as you say she is, I can’t wait to meet her.” My comment was met with another grin, and he climbed out of the car, circling around to open my door for me.
He guided me across the front lawn, his steps slow and purposeful. With a sweeping gesture, he pointed out the flower bed that his mother poured her heart and soul into each year, meticulously tending to its every need. My gaze washed over the vibrant blooms of mums and asters, their petals unfurling in a rainbow of colors, all in preparation for Halloween festivities. And in the bushes, there were a few spider webs and skeletons delicately hung from the branches of the trees. It was a charming touch, making me wonder if his mother also dressed up for trick or treat night.
As we approached the door, it swung open with a creak without our even having to knock. A warm and welcoming aura radiated from the older woman standing on the porch, her silver hair glinting in the sunlight. Her bright smile lit up her face as she spread her arms wide in greeting, inviting us into her home.
“Michael, you didn’t tell me how beautiful she is!” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek then turned to me as he chuckled. “Hello, dear. I am so thrilled to meet you. Michael has said so much about you. Won’t you come in?” Mrs. Lawson stepped aside, and Michael led me through the door.
Her living room was exactly as I expected it to be. Floral couch and matching recliner. The dated wallpaper gave me a sense of nostalgia, as if I stepped back into time. And the Berber carpet reminded me of my own grandparents’ house.
“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Lawson. You have a lovely home, and your flower garden is gorgeous.” I turned and accepted a hug from her before she swatted at the air and shook her head.
“Call me Penny. Mrs. Lawson was my husband’s mother.” With a wink, she gestured for us to follow her and headed through a swinging door. “Lunch is ready for us. I was just putting things on the table.”
Michael glanced over his shoulder at me and his eyebrows peaked. I took his hand and walked a little closer. We passed photos hanging on the wall in the hallway. They were family portraits of Michael and his parents. I didn’t realize he was an only child, though we hadn’t spoken much about his childhood until today. He had his father’s features but his mother’s kind eyes.
We settled around the table, and I cleared my throat. She hadn’t set out any drinks, and I didn’t want to bother anyone, so I waited as she served up our lunch. She had made a fresh tossed salad with grilled chicken and fresh garlic-buttered bread sticks. It looked and smelled delicious and made my mouth water.
Michael didn’t sit down next to me, though. He walked straight to the fridge and opened it. “Mom? You forgot soda?” he asked, turning to look at her. An entire conversation passed between them with just a few expression shifts, and I hid a snicker. I hoped that one day, Michael and I would have that same familiar, intimate knowledge of each other.
She rolled her lips together and had a playful grimace on her face. “I must’ve forgotten. I can make a pot of tea or coffee. Or I have water.” I could see she felt genuinely bad for having made the blunder.
He frowned, and for a moment, it appeared he would get frustrated, but he sighed and shut the fridge. “You know I like my soda.” He walked over to her and kissed her cheek. “You two ladies hang out a bit. I’ll run to the gas station down the street and buy a twelve-pack.”
“I’m okay, Michael. You don’t have to do that.” I tried to assure him that it was fine, but he wasn’t having it. He kissed my forehead and breathed me in for a moment, then straightened.
“I need soda.”
His mother chuckled at him as he walked out of the kitchen, and I tensed. It wasn’t that I was averse to being here alone with his mother, whom I had just met. I felt awkward with anyone I didn’t know well. Sometimes, I felt out of place with Michael too, so when I heard the front door shut and my cheeks warmed, I averted my gaze and stared into my salad. What was I going to talk to her about the whole time he was gone?
“That boy and his sugar.” She snickered, and then she started serving herself a portion of salad. “I hope you can be a good influence on him in that regard.”
I couldn’t help but snicker along with her. She was right. Michael had a sweet tooth, and I’d thought from time to time how he should eat healthier. Her comment broke the ice, and I felt a bit more relaxed with her.
“Michael told me how you limited sugar when he was a kid and how he felt so free when he went to college and could eat whatever he wanted.”
“I bet he did. Ruined his teeth too,” she said, laughing harder. “You are a breath of fresh air. How did you two meet?”
I picked up my fork and plunged it into the thoughtfully small-cut lettuce. It had been tossed in a light vinaigrette and crunched deliciously when I chewed. “Uh, well, we work together, though we met a few years ago.” I didn’t know how much Michael had told her about me and our past, so I kept it light.
“Oh, that’s so nice. It’s great to see him with someone so down-to-earth. At least, judging by your profession and great taste in men.” She winked and continued. “Michael hasn’t had such an easy time with the ladies. He mainly focused on his career for several years. Then he met what he calls ‘the one who got away’. He fell hard for her, gave up a promotion to stay here in Savannah, too, though I know it was more of a self-confidence issue than anything else. He still swears it was that woman whom he waited around for.”
As I chewed another bite, I also cringed. She was talking about me. Michael had made that much clear to me as we talked over the past few months. That promotion was a game changer for him, and he turned it down. Though, hearing his mother’s interpretation of why he really turned it down made more sense than his giving it all up for someone he just met. No doubt he had strong feelings for me back then, but I’d also seen him struggle with his confidence.
“Did he say who she was?” I asked, hoping to lead on that I felt threatened by this mystery woman, but Penny merely shrugged.
“He didn’t, but I didn’t pry. He tells me most things, and when he doesn’t, I assume it’s because it’s too personal.” She wiped her mouth and laid her napkin back over her lap. I enjoyed getting to know her a bit more, and Michael too, for that matter. I took a bite of salad, but I wasn’t prepared for what came out of her mouth next. “Seems he has a great opportunity ahead of him again…”
At first, I thought she was referring to me in his life. But given our discussion about his desiring to travel and move someday, I wasn’t taking that for granted. I knew I shouldn’t pry, but a tinge of nerves kicked in and I asked, “What opportunity?”
“Oh, the promotion…” She looked up at me with a furrowed brow. “He didn’t tell you?”
Concern etched her features, and I felt my shoulders pinching together. “No, he didn’t.” He was being offered a promotion again? And he hadn’t told me…
“Oh, dear, I’m afraid I’ve spoken out of turn.” Her head dropped and she mumbled, “Maybe I should let him say something.”
My pulse thrummed past my ears and I sighed. “Please, I’d love to support him.” The words were genuine. I did want to support him. I just felt the weight of a thousand bricks crushing my chest. I was right the whole time. Michael was keeping something from me, and it was something he should have felt proud to tell me. “He deserves a promotion. He’s such an amazing doctor.” I took another bite, trying not to let my disappointment show.
“Well, he told me a hospital in London might want him. He asked me to move with him if he takes the job. I’m not sure about moving abroad, but…” Her words became a blur, then faded into the ringing tone in my ears.
London?
Michael had a job opportunity in London and hadn’t told me? So that was what that conversation was about. He wasn’t just thinking of someday moving away. He had a plan to move away soon. I coughed and cleared my throat, wishing I had a soda right about now to chase the bite of food that stuck in my esophagus. He hadn’t told me about it because he knew I was adamant about staying here. There was no way I could take Emily to London.
Tears threatened to fall, but I heard the front door open and shut. I had to make it through this dinner without giving it away that I knew anything or letting my emotion out. “Don’t tell him you told me, okay? I want him to tell me himself when he feels comfortable.” I forced a very painful smile and shoved another bite of food in my mouth as she agreed to my plot.
Except, she thought I was being a doting girlfriend, and I knew I was backing out. I loved him, but London was out of the question. Now I knew there was no way it would ever work, and that included him and Emily.
And it broke my heart.