Chapter 11
Lillian
L illian had done all she needed to before heading home from the hospital. Hannah had been checked out and moved into the recovery room with Stephanie, and both women were doing well. She even got to say goodbye to little Jasmine as Stephanie’s sister took her home for the night.
It had started to rain again, and Lillian was having trouble making herself leave the hospital. Something about her empty apartment seemed to be repelling her, but she knew she needed some rest. She made one last stop before leaving the hospital.
“Doctor Rourke?” Lillian said as she poked her head into her mentor’s room.
“Doctor Holder, it’s good to see you,” Elizabeth said with a smile. She was reclined on the bed, her head resting against the pillows.
“How are you feeling?” Lillian asked, coming in and picking up her chart.
“Like a million bucks,” Elizabeth chuckled, turning her head slightly.
“I see your sense of humor hasn’t diminished,” Lillian said with a roll of her eyes.
“I was told you were the one that saved my life,” Elizabeth said.
“You could say that,” Lillian answered with a slight wave of her hand. “Though it was Doctor Lin’s quick thinking that got you in my hands in the first place.”
“You two are going to drive me up the wall,” Elizabeth chuckled.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lillian asked, heat coloring her cheeks.
“Apparently I can’t compliment or show my gratitude to either one of you without you deflecting it back to the other,” Elizabeth chided. “You make a good team.”
“I don’t know about that, Ja—Doctor Lin drives me batty sometimes,” Lillian said, trying to brush off the discomfort. She hoped Elizabeth hadn’t caught her almost use of Jade’s given name. Elizabeth noticed everything, though, so she doubted she missed it.
“I’m sure you do the same for her, but that doesn’t mean you’re not good for each other,” Elizabeth said with a slight lift of her eyebrow. She fingered the bandage around her head.
Lillian glanced at the woman wondering exactly what she meant by that. She thought about asking what Jade had told her, but she knew better. The woman would take any conversation held in confidence to her grave. “We did work well together through the storm,” Lillian admitted.
“I’m sure,” Elizabeth said and turned back to the television. “Give yourself some credit,” Elizabeth continued without looking at her. “Sometimes you have to trust your intuition and go with what feels right.”
Lillian narrowed her eyes at the woman; it felt like she wasn’t talking about surgery.
“Do you need anything?” Lillian asked as she finished her checks.
“I need you to go home and stop fussing over me,” Elizabeth said with a smile.
“Fat chance,” Lillian answered with a chuckle. “It might not be me, but someone is going to be in here fussing over you until you’re recovered and home.”
“Of course you are,” Elizabeth said with a huff. “Still, you need to go home, you have been in this hospital too long. Get some rest.”
“I will Doctor Rourke,” Lillian answered with a shrug. She stepped out of the room as Elizabeth closed her eyes.
The rain was coming down harder now, and the weather prediction was that it was going to continue through the night.
The remnants of the hurricane giving its final farewell.
She took a bus to her apartment despite the fact that it was only a couple of blocks away, but with this rain she would have been soaked within a few steps, even with the use of her umbrella.
She climbed the stairs to her apartment, the power was out in the building still, but that didn’t surprise her.
The apartment was dark and stuffy. Weight settled over her as she walked in.
It was so empty. Lillian had never bothered much with décor, and the bare walls and empty space was suddenly oppressive.
Her mind wandered back to Jade. She knew that any idea of a relationship would probably only end in heartache, but she would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t miss the woman already.
Elizabeth’s words came back to her, to trust her intuition, that sometimes you have to do what feels right.
Why was she so conflicted? What felt right was running to Jade and throwing herself at her feet, but that could never be.
Could it? It’s true that their jobs were difficult and time-consuming, but that was something that Jade would understand more than anyone else.
Still, they worked together, and didn’t that go against every “rule” about relationships?
What happens when they get in a fight? Or worse yet, break up?
It’s not like they didn’t fight already.
Lillian knew that she built walls around herself to stay safe, to keep herself from feeling vulnerable, but Jade wasn’t here pounding on the door.
She was giving Lillian space, she was letting her decide what she wanted to do next.
Lillian froze as the thought penetrated.
Jade wasn’t forcing Lillian to take down her walls, she was just asking to be let in.
No one had ever done that before, they either tried to force her to be someone she was not or they ignored her completely. Jade was different.
Sometimes you have to do what feels right, the words echoed in her mind.
This cold, bare apartment didn’t feel right, but Jade did, no matter how hard Lillian tried to deny it.
Twice now she had woken up in Jade’s arms, and both times it felt like home.
So much more than this apartment, so much more than the hospital or the operating room.
Jade felt like home. She felt safe. Jade challenged her at every step, she knew that—she also knew that it had made her into the elite doctor she was.
Jade knew her inside and out and had told her, had touched her like Lillian was something special, something precious.
Lillian had to stop lying to herself. She was trying to protect herself from something that wasn’t dangerous; she was trying to protect herself from something perfect, and she would be a fool to let it slip away.
Without thinking, she turned and went back out the door, barely thinking to lock it behind her.
She rushed out into the pouring rain and was almost instantly soaked to the bone.
The streets were dark without the power to the streetlights, though the emergency lights were illuminated.
She rushed down the street, the rain pounding against her, deafening her to everything around her.
She turned the corner, and Jade’s apartment building came into view.
She did not allow herself a chance to second guess what she was doing, she went to the door and pounded on it like a madwoman.
When nothing happened, she pounded again.
Jade opened the door, her eyes wide with shock at Lillian standing there dripping on her doorstep, but Lillian didn’t give her a chance to speak. She took Jade by the arms and kissed her, hard, dripping water all over her entryway. She pushed her inside and kicked the door closed behind her.
Jade pulled back and looked at her, and Lillian felt a twist of fear in her stomach that Jade would kick her back out onto the street.
She was acting rash, but she didn’t care, she would do whatever Jade wanted as long as she could remain a part of her life.
Jade shook her head softly then kissed Lillian again, slipping her tongue between her teeth.
Jade’s pajamas quickly became soaked with the rain dripping from every inch of Lillian.
She kicked off her sodden shoes and pulled Jade against her again.
Hands and lips and tongues flew everywhere, heat pulsed from every inch of Lillian despite the wet cold.
Jade pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor in a wet heap.
Goosebumps covered her skin as Jade struggled to pull her wet pants down around her hips, adding them to the heap of wet clothes.
Jade’s hands felt like warm embers touching Lillian’s bare skin, setting fire to each of her nerve endings.
As Jade unclasped her bra and tossed it to the side, Lillian’s nipples were hard and peaked from the cold and excitement. She slipped the now-wet pajamas from Jade’s shoulders, running her hands over Jade’s smooth skin. She pulled her body close, the heat burning through both of them.