Chapter 15 Alondra
Alondra
I had hoped the goose egg I earned from falling off the couch yesterday would look better today, but instead, it’s turned into an awful blue and purple knot right on my forehead.
Jack cancelled tutoring last night because there was a team dinner my dad let the guys know about last minute, and damn, if I wasn’t a little relieved to have a night to collect myself.
I’m fucking mortified I woke up snuggling into Jack. I’m not even sure when I fell asleep, or how I ended up wrapping myself around him, but it’s embarrassing.
It’s not a big deal he woke up with a boner because it’s a perfectly normal human reaction. Doesn’t make it any less awkward, though.
All his jokes about size the night before were surprisingly accurate.
I tried to cover up the bruise with makeup, but I can’t do much to hide the lump so it feels pointless to even try. I do feel a little better knowing I beat him to class, but Keri gasps, immediately seeing the bruise. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
“I got into a fight with the floor yesterday,” I explain, shrugging out of my coat before taking the seat next to her.
“Been there, done that, but I guess I was lucky I didn’t end up with one of those,” she says, and I fidget with my curls, glancing at the front of the auditorium to see if Jack’s here yet.
I don’t care he stayed the night, but I am freaking out a little because I didn’t think I’d enjoy being held by him so much. I didn’t think I was ready to be so comfortable with someone else, but maybe it’s my mind’s way of telling me I’m ready to move on.
Yes, Jack is more attractive than anyone should be, which makes it even more of a bad idea to enjoy sleeping next to him.
Jack plays hockey, doesn’t believe in love, and he’s one of Dad’s players.
I’m too busy watching the door to pay closer attention to Keri’s rant about the drama at her sorority house, but I think it’d be hard to miss Jack walking in.
He’s wearing the hockey team’s jacket, and his jeans are hugging his muscular legs.
The closer he gets climbing the stairs to our seats, the more I notice his hair looks like he’s been dragging his fingers through it, and he’s sporting a black eye that’s the twin to the knot on my forehead.
Oh my god, did I do that?
He glances up, and his mouth turns up at the corners into a faint smile, and at least I don’t look away, unlike yesterday when I couldn’t make eye contact.
“Hey,” he greets, and Keri gasps.
“Dude, your eye.”
Jack chuckles, leaning back in his seat. “Someone threw my phone at me, and I caught it with my face.”
I wince, trying not to stare, but I got him good. I hadn’t even realized it because I was so flustered from everything going on, and Macy is a fucking demon in the morning.
“I bet that someone is sorry,” I say, and he shrugs.
“It’ll be fine in a couple days, and it gives me an excuse to go as Rocky Balboa for Halloween,” he says, his smile widening enough for his dimple to make an appearance.
“What were you going to be?”
Jack laughs, shaking his head, but his gaze drifts to my forehead, and the humor fades.
“Classified, but I will say it was better my eye was hit than my nose. I’m not sure I could pull off a crooked nose,” Jack continues, lifting a hand to brush his fingertips over my bruise, and my heart jumps in my chest. “You okay?” he asks, his eyebrows knitting in concern.
“All good. Just a little clumsy,” I say, giving him a smile so he knows we’re okay. It was an accident.
“I feel like I’m missing something,” Keri says, and Jack drops his hand.
“Nope,” he answers, the picture of nonchalance.
“Al?” she asks, and I look at her and shrug.
“I don’t think you’re missing anything.”
She purses her lips, narrowing her eyes at us in scrutiny. “No, there’s a weird vibe here—especially with the matching bruises.”
My legs are sore from my workout at the gym this morning, but it doesn’t stop my leg from bouncing.
“You’re imagining it,” I say, feeling a little bad I’m gaslighting her, but there is a weird vibe and I’m not sure how to explain it to her.
I want us to go back to normal. “How was morning skate yesterday?”
“Thanks to Macy sending the face mask photo in the group chat, I’ve gone from Schultz to Your Highness.” He groans, and I can understand why. I notice he doesn’t mention the photo Ellie took of us on the couch.
Ellie and Macy went back to sleep after Jack left, but there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going back to sleep, so I went to the gym and worked on my core and upper body strength.
“What picture? Stop talking about vague shit I don’t know anything about. It’s rude,” Keri complains, and I whip my phone out, showing her the photo of Jack with his green face and headband on.
Keri’s dark eyes widen for a moment, covering her mouth to smother the sound of her laughter since class is about to start. “That’s amazing. Seriously, your best look yet, Jack.”
“Al,” Jack grumbles, and I nudge his arm with my elbow.
“You’re the one who said you were secure enough in your manhood you didn’t mind,” I remind him, but my face still burns because now I don’t need to wonder why he was just fine. I felt all his business pressed up against me, and Jack wasn’t lying.
“No offense, Keri, but it’s bad enough the whole team has seen it. Pretty sure Dylan shared it with Coach because he called me princess last night at our team dinner.”
That’s hilarious. “Why don’t you try channeling your big dick energy again, princess?” I tease, and his neck flushes a scarlet hue, creeping all the way to the tips of his ears.
Jack sticks his tongue out at me like the mature adult he is, but our professor walks in, and the room falls quiet.
Halfway through class, Jack pulls his phone out and I look at him, curiosity getting the better of me because I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pull it out during class.
My phone vibrates a moment later.
Jack
we good?
I send back a thumbs up, and he lets out an audible sigh of relief. I squirm in my seat, trying not to think about how he moaned in my ear yesterday.
It’s fine. I’m fine. This doesn’t have to be a big deal at all.
It’s not anything new to me that I’m attracted to him, so it shouldn’t be weird now?
Maybe it’s a sign I’m more ready than I thought to put myself back out there. It’s been long enough since Bradley.
Jack nudges my leg with his knee, and when I look, there’s another text on my screen.
Jack
i’m sorry
I lean over, dropping my voice to a low whisper. “It’s fine. Do I need to offer to let you touch my boobs to make it less weird I’ve felt your dick?”
He coughs, and I bite back a laugh when he looks at me with wide eyes, but I don’t miss how his bright gaze flickers down to my chest before looking me in the eyes again. “Don’t tempt me with a good time, darlin’,” Jack whispers back a moment later, and I roll my eyes.
“Pay attention, pretty boy,” I scold, but then Jack smiles at me, and I’m hopeful yesterday isn’t the big deal I thought it would be.
“I want to go out this weekend,” I say, setting my things down at the table Macy’s occupying at the library.
“Go out where?” she asks, looking confused, and I really can’t blame her. I hardly ever want to go out, and it’s never my idea.
I let out a shaky breath as I slide into the chair. “Like out somewhere. I want to go to a party or a bar, and I want to meet a guy.”
“Is this you freaking out because Jack stayed the night?”
I roll my eyes. “He stayed the night, but only because we fell asleep on the couch—platonically,” I say, adding an extra emphasis on the word platonic because she’s already jumping to conclusions.
“This isn’t because of Jack staying the night.
I want to go out because I think after everything with Bradley, I might be ready.
I’m not saying I want to find a boyfriend, but would it be so bad if I hooked up with someone? ”
Macy blinks, tilting her head. “Al, what exactly are you hoping to gain from this?”
“I don’t know. Does it matter?” I ask, tapping my fingers on the table.
I want to know if my body is capable of responding to someone. I need to know if my brain is playing tricks on me because I can’t let myself want Jack.
“It’s just that it’s only been ten months since Bradley. Are you sure you’re ready?” she asks, choosing each word with care. “There’s no harm in taking more time.”
I’m being sensitive. I know I am, but it still hurts.
“So you’re allowed to go back and forth with Chad after I don’t even know how many times he’s played mind games and cheated on you, but I say I might be ready to put myself out there again and—” I take a second to breathe because I’m angry and not thinking rationally.
The shock reflected on her face makes me feel guilty because I don’t want to hurt my best friend.
“Why aren’t you supporting me like I’ve supported you? ”
“I am supporting you—” Macy tries to say, but I push my chair back.
“No, you’re not. You have no idea what it was like to be in that relationship, and how badly I want to feel like myself again. When it was on your terms, you were more than happy to push me toward kissing Jack. I-I’ve got to go.”
“Al—”
“Whatever, I’ll ask Ellie to go with me,” I snap, grabbing my things. I’m not sure where I’m going to go, but I don’t particularly want to be here right now.
It’s too damn cold to wander around campus, so I head in the direction of my apartment. It’s a fifteen-minute walk that doesn’t feel awful in the fall or spring, but most people drive once the temperature begins to drop. I caught a ride with Ellie this morning, but she’s in a lab all afternoon.
I understand why she’s worried. A lot of shit went down with Bradley, and there’s still so much Macy doesn’t know because I didn’t want to see the way she’d look at me.