Chapter 15 Alondra #2
I’m doing my best to move on, and I know I’m not whole yet, but I think the fact I’m willing to try should say something. I don’t want a relationship, but maybe I’d like to have a guy buy me a drink or feel desired? Is there something so wrong with that?
I’m crossing the parking lot when my phone rings with a call from Jack. Of course it’s him.
I hesitate before answering because I want to wallow in my feelings, but I don’t want him to think I’m still freaked about yesterday morning. He’s probably checking to see if I’m going to his game tonight, but a deal is a deal.
“Hello?”
“Hey, what’s up?” Jack asks.
“You called me,” I remind him.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I did,” he says, and I think I understand, but Jack doesn’t deserve my frustration.
“Macy called you, didn’t she?” I ask, my tone as bleak and tired as I feel right now. “What’d she tell you?”
I haven’t worked up the nerve to ask Jack about the guy who came up to him, too afraid it will open the door to a discussion about Bradley, and I don’t want to talk about him with Jack. I like how he doesn’t handle me like I’m made of glass.
“Something about you biting her head off, and she’s worried, so she asked me to check in with you,” Jack says, and I hate that she brought Jack into it.
“I’m fine, but it’s nice to know she thinks I need a babysitter.”
“You know that’s not it. What’s wrong?” he asks, but this isn’t something he can fix.
I suck in a sharp breath, starting up the stairs. “Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.”
“Nothing has put you in a pissy mood,” Jack remarks.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. It’s none of your business, Jack. Macy had no right to bother you with this.”
“If you tell me what this is, maybe I can help?” he asks, and I’m sure some people might find his tenacity a charming quality, but it’s just annoying right now.
I know I’m overreacting, but I want to sulk before I pull myself together for tonight. “I don’t want your help.” I’m his friend, not a bird with a broken wing for him to rescue with the savior complex I’m beginning to suspect he has.
“I thought we were good?” Jack asks, and I let out an exasperated sigh.
“We are good. This has nothing to do with yesterday.”
I turn to go down the walkway on my floor as Jack finally brings up his game tonight. I’m so busy listening to him ramble again about how I don’t have to go if I don’t want to until I’m a few doors down from my apartment, and notice the large figure waiting next to the door.
No. Please tell me this isn’t real.
My grip on my phone tightens, and it takes everything in me to keep my voice steady when all I want to do is run in the opposite direction. He’s already looking at me, though.
“Dad, I said I’d be there soon. I’m just stopping at my apartment to get changed,” I say, loud enough for Bradley to hear.
The grin on his face makes my bravado falter because there are so many ways this could go wrong. He knows where I live. How?
I can hear Jack’s confusion, but my brain isn’t processing anything he’s saying. “Hey, Alondra. It’s been a while,” Bradley teases, stepping closer to me, and I feel like I’m going to vomit.
“No, you don’t need to send Jack and Dylan to deliver me. I’m perfectly capable of making it there by myself,” I continue, trying to add an extra bite to my tone to make it believable.
“Al, what is going on?” Jack demands, and I grab the pepper spray hanging from my keys.
“I’ll see you soon,” I say, swallowing the bile creeping up my throat. Keep it together, Al.
“Don’t hang up—” Jack starts to say, but Bradley knows too much about my relationship with my dad to know I wouldn’t stay on the phone with him longer than necessary. I hang up, wishing I could do nothing more than keep him on the phone.
Fuck. I can do this. I’m not his victim anymore.
“What are you doing here?” I ask Bradley, trying to keep my voice devoid of emotion. Bradley wants a reaction.
He seems unfazed, but his cheeks are red from the cold, and I wish I knew how long he’s been waiting out here.
If I had stayed with Macy, maybe he would have left before I got back.
“I was waiting for you.” Or Ellie would have found him if she had come home before us.
I don’t think he’d hurt her, but I know from first-hand experience how fucking convincing he can be of his ‘nice guy’ routine when he tries.
“Why?” I ask, keeping my hands tucked inside the sleeves of my coat. My phone vibrates in my hand, and there’s no doubt in my mind it’s Jack. I decline it by using one of the side buttons.
He looks me up and down, and I stand my ground, even as my heart rate quickens in my chest. “I heard you’ve been screwing around with Jack Schultz. What happened to wanting nothing to do with hockey players?”
I shrug, and as much as I want to look away, I know better than to take my eyes off of him right now. I decline another call, hoping Jack understood what I meant.
“You think your dad will finally love you because you’re on your knees for one of his players?” he says crudely, and there’s nothing I can say right now to convince him that Jack and I are only friends.
“Why do you care? We’re not together,” I say, but my hands are sweating as another call comes through.
Bradley looks over me again, and I’m afraid to move a muscle as his face relaxes into a calm smile. “Sorry, angel. We’re not over until I say we’re over. Stay away from Schultz.”
My feet stumble backward like I’ve been struck, and his words echo in my head.
We’re not over until I say we’re over.
His smile widens, pleased I’ve finally given him the reaction he wanted. I’m shaking, and there’s no hiding it now. “If I’m not at the rink in ten minutes, my dad is going to send Jack and Dylan to fetch me. Please leave.”
I hate that I use the word please, but I just want him to go.
“I haven’t seen you at any of my games,” he says, ignoring my comment about the guys. Bradley’s fucking delusional.
“You need to go,” I say, my voice wavering and I feel as small as ever. It’s like I’m right back where I was this time last year.
“I miss you, Al.”
If I open my mouth, I’m either going to scream or throw up, and I really don’t know which one it’s going to be, so I clamp my jaw shut. He doesn’t miss me. He misses having someone to control.
His hand reaches for my face, brushing his fingertips over the lump on my head. I flinch, and his nostrils flare while his jaw clenches.
“Think about what I said, and stay away from Jack.” His dark gaze meets mine as tears well in my eyes and I close them, nodding once. Maybe if I agree with him, Bradley will leave.
When I open my eyes again, Bradley’s walking away from me, already halfway to the stairwell.
I fumble with my keys, finally finding the right one to unlock the door before shutting and locking it quickly when I’m on the other side in case Bradley changes his mind.
I cover my mouth to smother the sound of a sob from breaking loose as my phone clatters to the ground, the vibrations rattling against the vinyl flooring echoing in the silent apartment.
Oh my god, he knows where I live.
My legs give out underneath me, and I sink to the floor like a stone in a pond, all of the terrible memories of Bradley surfacing from the corner of my mind where I’ve shoved them.
Five minutes with Bradley have undone months of progress, shattering the mosaic of hope I’d put together using the broken pieces of myself left in his wake.
We’re not over till I say we’re over.
He can’t possibly believe that.
I close my eyes, feeling the tears stream down my cheeks as I gasp for air.
You’re fine, Al. He didn’t touch you—not really. You’ll be fine.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
Fuck free college. This is why I wanted to go to Texas. It would’ve been a fresh start, and there wouldn’t have been a shot in hell of Bradley showing up at my door because he felt threatened by one of my friends.
There’s a loud knock on the door, and I scramble to my feet, biting my lip to hold back my sobs because if he hears me, he’ll know I lied, and he won’t leave peacefully this time. He came back. Bradley didn’t care I said my dad was waiting for me.
“Al, it’s Jack. Are you here?” his familiar voice asks, knocking again.
He came. He really came. I move to unlock the door for Jack, but once I see him, my vision blurs to the point that I can no longer focus on anything. I’m immediately scooped into his strong arms, and I wrap mine around his neck, clinging to him as my tears fall faster.
Jack holds me effortlessly, supporting my weight as he walks us into the apartment while I bury my face in the crook of his neck.
“I’ve got you. It’s okay,” Jack whispers, and I can’t do anything but cry, too damn relieved he’s here.
“Dylan, lock the door and tell Ellie not to come back here,” he instructs, his voice shaking.
I’ve ruined everything.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Jack asks quietly, and I feel nauseous as the adrenaline fades from my body.
I shake my head, struggling to even know where to begin, so instead, I focus on trying to take a deep breath, inhaling the comforting smell of cinnamon and the feeling of safety that comes with being near Jack.
We’re not over until I say we’re over.