Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
“ D orian, if you were going to be such a spoilsport, I wish you hadn’t even come on this hunt,” Lucien said crossly as Dorian finally pulled his horse up next to him. “I have been waiting for you for the past five minutes. We are far behind the rest of the hunting party now!”
“I’m sorry,” Dorian grumbled, although he didn’t feel particularly sorry. “I’m not exactly in a hunting mood, am I?”
“Precisely why you should have stayed home then, old sport,” their friend Anthony, Duke of Cresswell, said, clapping Dorian on the back and chuckling to himself. “You have been morose all day. This hunt is in your honor, to celebrate your upcoming nuptials! You should be overjoyed.”
Dorian didn’t say anything to this. Anthony didn’t know all the particularities of his engagement to Lady Leah, nor was he about to share them. Lucien, however, gave Dorian a sad, sympathetic look. He at least understood a little bit of what Dorian was going through.
Anthony frowned at him. “Or is the fact you’re marrying tomorrow part of the reason for your moroseness? Are you like so many gentlemen of our acquaintance who dread the shackles of marriage? I wouldn’t be surprised, in your case, but seeing as how your bride’s brother is with us, I would think you’d try harder to pretend to be pleased.”
“Don’t listen to Anthony,” Lucien said, putting a bracing hand on Dorian’s shoulder. “I know that you are pleased to be marrying Leah… on some level.”
“It’s not that she isn’t lovely beyond measure,” Dorian said, shaking his head. “Anyone would be lucky to marry her. Which is part of why all of this is so bizarre. Someone should have offered for her, considering all her excellent qualities. But I know I won’t make her happy. She deserves so much more than what I can offer her…”
And I am condemning her to a life of misery.
He didn’t say this last part out loud, but from his tone, he was sure his friends understood.
“Are you referring to your rakish ways?” Lucien asked, an alarmed look on his face. “Because if you mean to be disloyal to my sister, then--”
“No, of course not,” Dorian said quickly. “You don’t need to worry about that even a little.”
“Well then, better you than Lord Dubois, you must agree,” Lucien said. “And although I know that you have never sought out marriage for yourself, in some ways, I am happy you are marrying my sister. Our families are close, which means we will see you often, and when you have children, they will be close to Emery’s and my children as well.”
Dorian swallowed and nodded. He had not told Lucien everything that he had once vowed. And while he was going to have to tell Leah eventually, he wasn’t about to admit it right now to her older brother. He might call off the wedding, and then Leah would be forced to wed Dubois.
“I know it isn’t what you wanted,” Lucien continued, “but despite your past relationships with women, I think you will make a fine husband. You are more loyal than you give yourself credit for. Look at how long we have been friends, and how good you have always been to me!”
“Yes, that is true,” Dorian said. But loyalty wasn’t what he was worried about. His friends might think him a rake, but in fact, he had never had any problem with the idea of committing to one woman.
Merely with the action. It was the fact he had vowed never to do so, and that he had no intention of breaking his vow, that was the problem.
Lucien sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You know, things were even worse between the Duchess and myself when we were first married.”
“Really?” Anthony asked, his eyebrows shooting up.
“Yes,” Lucien said, chuckling to himself. “After our wedding, in the carriage on the way to my estate, we argued the whole time. I thought she hated me! And yet, everything worked out between us. Now, I cannot imagine being happier than I am or loving anyone more than I love her.”
Anthony looked as if he found this very amusing, but he said nothing, and fortunately, Lucien didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he looked very seriously at Dorian. “You and Leah have an even better head start than Emery and I did. You are friends and you have known each other for years. Surely that is a better foundation for a good marriage?”
“I suppose so,” Dorian conceded. But he wasn’t sure that was going to help. If anything, that was part of the problem. Lady Leah was a friend of his. He cared about her. And having to hurt someone he cared about was part of what was making him so morose. If he were marrying a woman he didn’t like or care for, then perhaps it would be easier to condemn her to a cold, loveless, affectionless marriage.
“I don’t know what you are so troubled about,” Anthony said. “A marriage is just a marriage and nothing more. Dukes must marry; it is our duty to produce an heir. But it doesn’t need to cause so much angst. Many dukes and duchesses live separate lives and are very happy with the arrangement. Our friend Lucien here is the exception. You don’t need to be madly in love with your wife, you just need to have a level of respect and friendship that allows you to lead a life of equanimity.”
Lucien looked annoyed at this, but he pressed his lips together and said nothing. Dorian had the feeling he didn’t like the idea of his sister marrying someone who admitted he was going to live separate from her.
Dorian didn’t like it either. But he couldn’t deny it was true. Turning away from his friends, he urged his horse forward, into the forest, after the rest of their hunting party. The less he thought about his wedding for the next twenty-four hours--until it was over with--the better.
For the rest of the hunt, Dorian could think of little other than the dread that was building inside him. And when he returned home that afternoon, this feeling was only compounded by the preparations that were being made for the wedding breakfast.
There seemed to be an air of general excitement throughout the house. Even his valet looked upbeat and excited as he brought out Dorian’s finest waistcoat and cravats for him to try on .
“I never thought this day would come, Your Grace,” his valet said, looking more pleased than was strictly appropriate. “It will be very good to have a lady in the house again.”
“Yes,” Dorian said, “although we will not be spending the honeymoon here. We shall be going to my country estate.”
“Either way, it will be very pleasant to see how the Duchess will liven up the house.”
Dorian said nothing. He doubted that Lady Leah would remain lively for very long once she understood the strictures of their marriage.
But there was nothing Dorian could do to stop what was happening. He had made his choice, and he was just going to have to live with it. This was reiterated that evening, when a letter arrived for him from the Archbishop.
They had secured the marriage license. He and Lady Leah Grove were going to be wed tomorrow. Dorian just had to hope that Lord Dubois didn’t get wind of it and rush in to stop the proceedings before they could go forward.
“Everything is so beautiful,” Leah whispered as she walked down the stairs the next morning and was greeted by the sight of the hallway filled with the most beautiful flowers she had ever set eyes on. “It’s exactly how I always dreamed it would be.”
Beside her, Vivian and Celeste both beamed.
“I’m so glad,” Vivian said. “I can’t quite believe everything came together, but it did. This is even more elaborate than when I was married--and we had plenty of time to plan the festivities!”
“Thank you so much,” Leah said, turning to her friend and squeezing her hand. “I could not have done this without you.” Then she turned to her sister. “And you, Celeste… I would not have found the strength to go through with this if it weren’t for you.”
“You would have,” Celeste assured her, but her eyes were filled with tears. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
Leah smiled at her sister, truly appreciative of her saying this, even if she didn’t feel particularly strong at this moment. In fact, she knew perfectly well she was forcing herself to act strong and brave, when really, she was falling apart on the inside. Today was her wedding day, and she still hadn’t seen or spoken to her groom. He hadn’t visited her yesterday, nor had he sent a note, and everything felt wrong. Everything looked exactly how she had imagined her wedding day, but it certainly didn’t feel like how she had always hoped it would feel: a joyous day marrying the man of her dreams.
“Are you feeling nervous?” Vivian asked, sensing the shift in her mood, and Leah nodded.
“At least there will only be a few of us here,” Celeste reassured her. “Just the families. That way there’s less of a chance…”
She trailed off, but Leah knew what she had been about to say: that way there’s less of a chance that Dubois will find out about it and show up.
This was certainly one of the prospects that was making her nervous. But she was even more nervous about the thought of the wedding to come and the wedding night to follow. Especially considering that the Duke of Nottington hadn’t shown her any warmth or consideration since he’d showed up in her bedroom in the middle of the night.
“Vivian, do you think you could find the duke and ask him to come speak to me?” she asked, turning to her friend. “I haven’t seen him since before we were engaged, and I would like to speak to him before we say our vows.”
“Yes of course,” Vivian said, frowning slightly. The ceremony was supposed to begin in just a few minutes, but she didn’t question Leah or say anything. She simply hurried off in the direction of the parlor, where the wedding was going to take place.
For a minute, Leah and Celeste stood silently in the hallway. Leah was so nervous at the prospect of speaking to the Duke that she was actually shaking. At last, the door to the parlor opened, and Vivian came out, followed by the Duke of Nottington.
The sight of him nearly took Leah’s breath away. He looked so unbelievably handsome with his dark hair long and rakish and his smoldering green-blue eyes. But where Leah was used to seeing the Duke smiling, and the dimples in his cheeks, today he looked deadly serious. Even when his eyes met hers, he did not offer her a smile. Instead, his jaw tightened, and his eyes seemed to narrow.
Heart in her throat, Leah stepped forward.
“Your Grace,” she said, sweeping into a curtsy. “Thank you for agreeing to speak to me.”
“What is going on, Lady Leah?” he demanded. “We need to start the ceremony. We don’t want any unwanted guests catching wind of this and showing up.” His eyes darted to the door. “Can’t this wait until after?”
Leah felt her stomach drop. Why is he acting so cold to me? “No, it cannot,” she said, and she heard the angry sharpness in her tone. “I demand a moment of your time.” She glanced at her sister and friend. “Can you please give us some privacy?”
Vivian and Celeste nodded, then hurried down the hall and around the corner, leaving Leah alone with the Duke. He folded his arms and glared down at her. It had never occurred to her before just how tall and formidable he was. If she wasn’t so angry, she might have felt intimidated by him.
“What is going on?” she said, taking a step toward him. “One moment, you climb up the lattice into my bedroom in the middle of the night, acting like a madman, and the next, I am informed by my brother that we are engaged, but you refuse to see me. Why would you do that to me? I thought you were my friend!”
“Why would I do what to you? A gree to marry you when I had already said I would, if you could not find a husband?” The Duke raised his eyebrows as if she were being very dim indeed. “I was just honoring my side of the bargain.”
“But you did so a day early! And you didn’t speak to me about it! Even though you were in my bedroom--” she lowered her voice. “Even though you had the opportunity to speak to me about it, you didn’t. Instead, you went behind my back and treated me with the same contemptuousness that Lord Dubois did.”
“I am simply doing my duty,” the Duke said, and his tone was so cold that she actually shivered. His eyes were completely lifeless as well, and when she stared into them, she didn’t see any of the flirtatious warmth that usually lit them. “This is what you wanted, Lady Leah. Now, I think it’s better we return to the ceremony before we are interrupted.”
“But--” The Duke turned away, but Leah hurried after him. “You have changed!” She cried. “You are not acting like yourself, and I know it’s my fault! I forced you into this, and I am so sorry.” She grabbed his arm and forced him to turn back and face her. Pleadingly, she stared up into his eyes. “Please, just tell me if you really want this,” she murmured. “And if you don’t, we can call it off, and we will fight Lord Dubois in court and I will end my days as a spinster. My sisters may suffer, but I cannot force you to marry me if you do not wish it.”
The Duke merely backed away, pulling his arm from her grasp. “We really ought to get back to the ceremony,” he snapped, his tone devoid of all emotion. She didn’t understand what had happened, how he could have changed so much, except if he had come to resent and hate her because of how she had trapped him in this marriage.
But I apologized! I tried to tell him I would not hold him to that!
She wanted to yell at him, but also to beg him to tell her the truth of his feelings. Anger and worry and hurt all roiled inside her so confusingly that she could not find the words to speak. He nodded at her, then turned and went back into the parlor. Moments later, Vivian and Celeste returned. From the frozen expressions on their faces, she knew they had heard everything.
“It will be okay,” Vivian said, taking her arm. “All will be well. I promise.”
She led Leah to the door of the parlor. Moments later, the music began to play. That was their cue. Vivian and Celeste pushed open the doors and led Leah into the parlor.
Lucien was waiting by the door. He smiled at Leah, but she couldn’t smile back, then took his arm, freeing Vivian and Celeste to take their seats among the guests. Not that there were many of them. The whole guest list consisted only of Celeste, Eve, Emery, Lucien, and the Duke of Creswell. And of course, the Archbishop, who was standing at the altar that had been erected. Next to him stood the Duke of Nottington, his expression grim and his eyes resolutely ahead of him, not on Leah.
It all passed in a blur. Leah barely had any memory of walking down the aisle on Lucien’s arm, or standing in front of the Duke of Nottington, listening to the ceremony, or of repeating her vows, or of the moment when the Archbishop declared them husband and wife and the Duke slipped a ring on her finger.
All she was certain of was that Lord Dubois hadn’t interrupted them. At least she wasn’t marrying him.
Then there was the wedding breakfast. This was also a blur. There were so few of them that it was a very quiet affair. Leah was silent throughout it, and her husband sat so stiffly next to her, that everyone else seemed to take their cue from them and said very little. It was certainly not the festive celebration that Leah had always dreamed of.
And then she was saying goodbye to her brother, her sister-in-law, and her sisters. Eve was crying. Emery looked grim. Lucien was trying to smile, but even he looked as if it had just occurred to him what a disaster this marriage would be. Then Leah was being loaded into a carriage, and it was setting off--presumably to the Duke’s country estate.
He didn’t even ride with her. On their wedding day, he took a separate carriage. As the hours slipped by, Leah came to see that this was how she was going to spend much of her marriage: alone.