Chapter 18
Adora
Ithought losing my mom had been the worst day of my life. I lost my foundation, the keeper of my secrets, my security blanket, my sounding board, and my heart. I felt lost without her. I never imagined I’d experience that agonizing pain again. I definitely didn’t think it would happen on Sunday.
The hurt and pain were indescribable, and at one point, I actually felt my heart break and the ache debilitated me.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get off the floor and definitely didn’t want my children to see me.
That thought made me think of my mother, her returned cancer, and her heart-wrenching decision.
She didn’t want me, her daughter, to see her suffer and die.
It’s been a few days and I’m still processing her words.
I’m torn, teetering between rage and understanding.
On one hand, I’m infuriated, pissed she’d made this decision on her own and furious that she followed through with it.
And even though what she did hurts like hell, on the other hand, I understood her rationale.
I still hate it; but I got it. I wholeheartedly disagree but because I love her with every fiber of my being, I’m choosing to forgive her. I can’t move on if I don’t.
I’m also taking what she did and her note to my grave. Besides the man I love—the same man who was there for me when I found out—no one will ever know. They don’t need to. I don’t want her life blemished by how she’d left it in any way.
Today is my first day back at work. After our emotional Sunday, the girls and I stayed home Monday and Tuesday. My little empaths absorbed my sadness and energy, so we all needed time to just love on each other and heal.
Xai, although extremely busy with preparing for his grand opening, stayed with us until late Monday afternoon.
He wouldn’t leave until he saw smiles on all three of our faces and I love him for that.
I love him for all that he is for me and my babies.
Never have I been treasured and loved by a man this unselfishly and it feels amazing.
This weekend he’s going with us to Splash Mountain.
Thanks to my mom, we have annual passes to the waterpark.
“You know you could have taken the whole week off.” Dr. Denim’s smooth tenor tears me from my thoughts.
“I’ve taken enough time off already,” I counter.
“You’ve been with me for seven years; you’ve earned all the time you need.
Just don’t feel like you have to be here when you can’t,” he says sincerely.
I have the best boss. He’s been so understanding, he and his wife Jamila.
When I first found out about my mom, she volunteered to keep the girls.
I had Kandi and Celeste but I really appreciated the offer.
“Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate that but I should be here until my annual week off in August.” Averi and Romi’s birthdays are three days apart, the eighteenth and twenty-first. I always take that week off to celebrate them, and now that they are both in school, it’s usually their last week of summer break.
Little Einsteins is year-round with a week off in the spring, three weeks in summer, two weeks in the fall, and three weeks in winter .
“The week of the seventeenth. I remember,” he says. “You’re heading out?”
“In fifteen. I’m charting patient notes then I’m out.” I owe my girls cinnamon toast for dinner.
“If I don’t see you, good night.”
“Good night.”
Dr. Denim walks to his corner office and I finish my notes from this afternoon’s orthognathic surgery.
This surgery requires a two-day hospital stay, and since we are outpatient, I assisted Dr. Denim at the hospital for this procedure.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll report to Mount Sinai with him to check on the patient.
When I finish, I grab my lunch kit and tote then head out. Because I want a flawless and successful breakfast for dinner attempt tonight, I call Kandi’s grandma, MeeMee, hoping she knows my mother’s cinnamon toast secret. I’m praying she does.
“This is Mattie,” she answers in her sweet, New Orleans accent.
“Hey, MeeMee.”
“Oh hey, cher,” she says when she recognizes my voice. “How are you and the girls? I enjoyed their visit a few weeks ago. Averi is getting tall.”
“She is. I think she’s going to be as tall as me.”
“Or taller,” she says. “But you’re okay? You’re taking care of yourself? And drinking that juice?” she asks, laughing.
I’m going to kill Kandi.
“Your granddaughter talks too much,” I say, laughing too.
“She does but that’s not the point. Drink the juice. You got a man now and Celeste says he’s cute too.”
“He is,” I confirm while blushing a little. “But I have a question.”
“What is it, cher?”
“The girls want cinnamon toast. I’ve tried making it but they keep telling me it’s not like their nana’s. It’s something so simple but I’m messing it up. I don’t know how she made it and I’m hoping you do.”
“It’s simple, cher. It’s just unsalted butter, not margarine, equal parts white and brown sugar, cinnamon, and just a pinch of salt.”
“I used margarine and just white sugar. I would have never guessed that. Thank you so much,” I say, truly appreciative. Nailing this toast for my babies may seem small but it’s huge for me, for all of us. They loved their nana’s toast and making it correctly for them will help heal my heart.
“You’re more than welcome. The little things matter.”
“Yes, they do. Thanks again, MeeMee.”
“Any time,” she says before ending the call.
After starting my ride, I head to Little Einsteins and grab Averi and Romi. From the school, we run to The Marketplace. I have everything but the unsalted butter so we grab it and I let them choose their snacks for the waterpark this weekend.
Once we make it to the house, our nightly routine begins, starting with our baths. After everyone’s braids are under our bonnets and we are all in our pjs, we head to the kitchen. We clean their lunch boxes and add the lunch kits I grabbed from The Marketplace, then we start dinner.
“You found them!” Averi squeals when I pull their aprons out of the pantry. I had them hanging on the door.
“Yes, and I ironed them just for the night,” I admit. The smiles on their faces are priceless. They only get wider after I tie their aprons on.
“You don’t have one, Mommie,” Romi says with a tiny pout.
“It’s okay. I’ll try not to make a mess,” I tell her, then wink and kiss her cheek. “But guess what?”
“What?” she asks, curiosity replacing her pout.
“I got Nana’s recipe so we are making the toast with bacon and eggs.”
“Finally,” Averi exclaims and I laugh. “I’m mixing the sugar,” she says.
The next hour is amazingly curative for all our grieving hearts.
We test the toast first, and when they both approve the first piece, I cook the bacon and together we scramble the eggs.
When everything is finished, we sit in the living room, eat our perfect cinnamon toast, and just talk.
They fill me in on every detail of school today and the glorious plans for Friday.
I just laugh when I learn Romi promised her class special cookies from her MeeMee’s cookie shop.
“Why are we back here?” I ask Xai as he turns right instead of left toward the waterpark.
We are at Blue Mountain, one of the most popular tourist destinations in Crescent Falls.
Here, the streets are lined with beautiful boutiques, specialty shops, and novelty food spots.
On the actual mountain is the resort where my mom worked for years, with a huge hotel and casino.
Behind the hotel and casino are cabins, many privately owned and some available to rent.
“Just wait,” is all he says while continuing in the wrong direction.
When we reach the main entrance for cabins, there’s a security gate. I look for an open area for him to U-turn but there isn’t one. I guess he doesn’t see one either because he drives up to the security gate. An older looking guard steps out and Xai lowers his window.
“Rental pass and ID, please,” he says.
“We just need to—” I begin but stop when Xai opens his visor and grabs a piece of paper and his driver’s license. As he hands it to the guard, my mouth drops open in pure surprise.
He got a rental?
When the guard takes the paper and Xai’s license to the booth, Xai turns to me with a sexy as hell, smug look on his handsome face. I merely smile back, speechless in awe. He rented a cabin for us.
“Enjoy your stay, Mr. Watts,” the guard says when he returns with Xai’s license and a keycard for the cabin. Your cabin is to the left right past the gate. The third one on the right.”
“Left, right, third one. Thanks,” Xai says, then turns to me. “Did you get that?”
“Yes,” I gush. “You got us a cabin for the night and it’s to the left, the third one on the right,” I say, smiling, showing all thirty-two pearly whites. This man.
Xai follows the directions and we pull into the small, pebbled driveway of the cabin. When he kills the engine, I lean over his middle console, plant my elbows, then purse my lips.
“Give me a kiss,” I say playfully.
“For what?” he asks with a slight smile.
“Do I need a reason to kiss my man?”
“Never but I just wanna know.”
“Kiss me because you’re the most thoughtful and loving man I know and I need to make sure you’re real,” I tell him.
“I’m real as shit,” he utters, then looks back at the girls. It’s so cute how he tries hard to curtail bad words around them. He’s good though because they are both knocked out. It doesn’t take much to get them to sleep, especially not in a car.
“Then prove it,” I challenge and he accepts. His hand grips the back of my neck and he pulls me a little closer. His lips commandeer mine and he masters my challenge with his lips and tongue.
“That work?” He smirks.
“Absolutely.” I smile, then glance at the cabin. “Thank you so much for this. They are going to love it.”