Chapter 17
Xai
“And how long is this going to take?” I ask the electrician.
“I’m thinking a week. Like I said, we have three other projects but we can work you in, two or three hours an evening,” he responds.
Clean Ridez Too opens in two weeks and I’m here making sure we make the planned June first grand opening.
I’ve hired all the employees and the two new front desk clerks start Monday.
All equipment has arrived. It will be set up this week.
The front lobby area and employee area buildout—with my office, a break room, small storage, and restroom—is done.
Furniture and décor are coming at the end of the week.
The main thing I’m worried about is the wiring and security system shit.
The company I originally hired flaked on me.
I’m thankful for my bruh Rick. He recommended SecureEdge, one of his connections.
They are installing and will maintain my electronic security system, including the IP cameras, card readers, and alarm.
Until installation is complete, I got outdoor solar security cameras with a monitor.
They were delivered and I put them up this morning.
“Bet. I appreciate you.”
“You welcome,” he says before shaking my hand.
Since I’m the last one here, I grab the monitor for my camera and my keys then walk out with him.
I’ve worked later than I planned and I hate getting to Adora’s late, especially on school nights.
She likes for the girls to go to bed early, and if I’m late, I fuck up her little schedule.
Plus, I love spending time with them and watching her with them.
Their dynamic is beautiful to see. She’s a wonderful mother and the love the three of them have for each other is perfection.
I wish I had half of that growing up. Kadean and I weren’t so lucky.
Adora is everything and more than anything I could have hoped for in a woman. She’s warm, caring, and present. The night I unpacked all that shit about my mom and Kadean, I just knew she would dip and leave my ass. The whole situation is fucked up and it fucked me and Kadean up. I know it did.
We both are who we are because of that horrible mistake.
While I became guarded and protective for him, he struggled and acted out.
I dealt with it the best I could but I know I could have done more.
The first three years after my mom died, I was hustling hard.
I was on a paperchase, trying to get out of the drug game.
That shit killed my momma but I was still serving it and that fucked with me.
I knew I had to get out. I was on a strict get-money plan.
In my mind then, where I was slacking with Kadean, money would fix it.
He had the latest designer clothes and sported the most expensive kicks, but he needed more, he needed me. I had failed him again.
The guilt from my failures morphed into fixing and covering up all of his acting out and bullshit.
First, it was destruction of property in middle school.
Then, there were fights and suspensions in high school.
Each wrongdoing was fixed by me and my guilt would just keep him laced.
I rewarded his bad behavior. I stunted his growth.
I crippled him from becoming a real man but I’m trying to do better. I’m setting boundaries.
He’s going to be a father soon and he has to learn accountability and responsibility.
This Florida case is the first step. He’s my brother and I love him, so I’m not abandoning him.
I’m not bailing him out and putting my shit up either.
I got him a lawyer, and when I made that decision, she was right there.
Adora made it safe for me to voice that and exercise it and I love her more for the space she provided me, which is why I have to tell her about that night and her mother’s phone.
I’ve kept both from her too damn long and I can’t do that shit anymore. I love her too much.
As soon as I’m in my ride, I place the camera monitor in the glove box and grab the phone. Then I start my ride and head to her crib, praying she understands. The alternative isn’t even a fucking option.
When I pull up to her place, I stuff the phone into my pocket, then get out. After dinner and the girls are in bed, I’m going to wrap her in my arms and come clean.
To my surprise, Adora isn’t at the door when I walk up.
Normally, she sees me on her doorbell camera and meets me there.
However, not tonight. The outside light isn’t on either but I shrug that off until my knocking and ringing of the doorbell go unanswered.
I hit her cell and she doesn’t answer. The moment I ring the bell again, I hear the locks turning slowly on the other side of the door.
When it opens, my chest instantly tightens. Averi is on the other side crying.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask calmly. She doesn’t answer.
Instead, she takes me by surprise and hugs me.
Romi is the hugger. Averi and I usually do our little dap.
Something is definitely wrong. “I got you, lil momma. Tell me what’s wrong,” I utter while lightly caressing her back.
That’s when I see Romi laying on the sofa, crying too. What the fuck!
“It’s Mommie,” she mumbles.
“Something happened to her?” I ask.
“Yes,” she sniffles. “She’s in the room crying and won’t let us in. She’s real sad.”
“Okay. I’ll go check on her,” I say, then carry Averi to the sofa.
“Let me talk to her,” I say and both of them just nod.
The tears in their eyes and the sad ass looks on their little faces has my heart beating fast. “She’s going to be fine,” I try to assure them even though I don’t have a clue what the hell is going on.
To try and soothe them, I turn on the TV and find kid shit before walking down the hall. I’m passing her guest room when I hear her, sobbing loudly. That shit fucks with me instantly. I feel a tug in my chest. I don’t even bother to knock or announce my presence; I just open the door.
“Averi, I told you not to come in here,” she manages to get out through her cries.
Boxes are stacked around the room and she’s sitting on the floor in the middle of them. Her back is to the door so she doesn’t know it’s me. From the sound of her voice and sobs, I know whatever has happened has left her broken and I don’t want to exacerbate it. I gently announce myself.
“Pretty girl, it’s me,” I say and she slowly turns her head.
The tightness in my chest from the sound of her voice and sobs damn near stops my heart when I see her bloodshot and puffy eyes, drooped lips, and tear-stained face.
When I’m right behind her, I kick off my Ones and ease down, stretching my legs out to the side of her.
After inching closer, I wrap my arms around her and pull her back into my chest. The moment the back of her head hits me, she releases a sound that barely sounds human.
I just hold her and keep her close to me as she releases.
With my tight and loving embrace, I just want to anchor and comfort her.
She buries her face against my arm and chest as her hands fist the sleeve of my shirt.
Her sobs come in waves, painful, high pitched wails followed by deep, low wails.
Without hesitation, I hold her through each crest and gently kiss her head.
“Baby, what’s wrong? You gotta tell me so I can fix it,” I whisper and she only sniffles. “Please, pretty girl, talk to me,” I plead gently.
“She did it,” she finally says. “She did it.”
“Baby, who? Ol’ boy’s mom?” I ask, heated. If her bitch ass baby daddy has anything to do with this, his ass really gon’ see me.
“No, mine,” she says, then sighs heavy as fuck. She sniffles again then slowly lifts her head. I crane my head and my concerned eyes meet her distraught ones. When she blinks, more tears drop and I thumb them away.
“What did she do?” I ask and her already broken body slumps more. She slowly shakes her head before facing forward. She reaches for a piece of paper laying on a stack of clothes and hands it to me. Her eyes urge me to read the note.
It’s handwritten, addressed to her from her mom.
It takes a second for me to realize exactly what I’m reading, but when I do, I immediately understand her condition and my mind goes back to that night.
I start piecing everything together and her letter makes sense.
I also reflect on that night from a new perspective.
Kadean kept insisting he didn’t cause the accident.
He said repeatedly she’d hit him. I think about Adora’s mother that night and her words specifically.
A few times she told me to leave her. I thought she was just traumatized or afraid I would somehow hurt her.
But it wasn’t that. She truly wanted me to leave her, let her die.
She planned the accident and Kadean and I weren’t supposed to be there.
My poor Adora.
I have no words. None, but her eyes plead with me for some.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” I stutter and she sighs.
Her hands return to my arm and she buries her face there and sobs. As tightly as I can and with all the love and sympathy I have, I embrace her and plant kisses on her head. We are in this position for a few moments until we hear taps on the door.
“Mommie,” the girls utter in unison.
“Oh God,” she huffs then sniffles. “My babies,” she mumbles. Her head starts shaking feverishly then she lifts it. “They can’t…God, I can’t let them se—”
After kissing her head again, I say, “I got them. We’ll order dinner.”
“Breakfast,” she mumbles.
“Got it. I’ll find breakfast and we will order it,” I assure her in a low tone.
“Oh, okay. Whew. I’ll try to…hell, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t stop crying. I can’t process this. She wants me to forgive her. Oh, this hurts,” she whispers.
“It’s okay to cry, baby, especially with them. They know you’re sad. You three are connected. They just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I know,” she says, then nods. I thumb the tears from her cheeks. She nods again then softly kisses my lips. “Let them in,” she says while still nodding, affirming her decision.
She inhales and exhales repeatedly as I stand.
I walk to the door, and as soon as I open it, they run to her and she catches them in her arms. I watch for a few minutes as they love on each other, her giving them what they need and them doing the same.
When our eyes meet briefly, she mouths, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I mumble before walking out.
So much is going on and so many damn thoughts go through my mind. It wasn’t a true accident and Kadean did not cause it. Adora’s mother planned that. She wanted to be left in that car but I took her to the hospital and I have her phone in my pocket. Do I still tell her about it?
Although my mind is jumbled as fuck, I focus back on her and the girls.
I told her that I would order dinner, well, breakfast. It’s almost eight and my options are limited.
I search pancakes in the Munchies app and mini ones pop up on the Taco Express menu.
They have a whole ass breakfast section and I order two orders of the pancakes, breakfast potatoes, and a couple breakfast tacos.
I’m sitting on the sofa, staring at something on the television screen when they walk out.
Adora eases down next to me. Romi climbs on her lap and Averis snuggles up under her arm.
I stretch my arm out and embrace all three beauties.
Adora settles her head on my chest. Their love is so big; it consumes the room and eases all the tension I felt when I saw their tears.
“I’m hungry,” Romi says, breaking the comforting quiet.
“I ordered breakfast. It’s coming.”
“Thank you,” Adora says before leaning up and kissing me again. “Stay after dinner,” she pleads, but her request isn’t necessary. She needs me and me staying is automatic as fuck.
“I wasn’t leaving.”
The food arrives about thirty minutes later.
Normally, we eat in the kitchen but not tonight.
On the floor, scattered around the large coffee table, we eat together.
After dinner, we remain on the floor, watching cartoons until the girls drift to sleep, Averi first, followed by Romi.
I carry them to their room and Adora follows.
While she tucks them in, I journey to her room.
I’m sitting on her bed when she walks in.
After closing the door, she steps over to me and climbs into my lap, straddling me.
I’m instantly hyperaware of the phone in my pocket.
“You good?” I ask, trying to gauge her emotions.
“Far from it,” she admits and a tear falls from her eye. “Can we not talk about it? I just want to sleep, and hopefully, process this in my dreams.”
“Whatever you want, I got you.”