Epilogue
Jared
It ends in lightness.
The whole beach is bathed in sunshine as I stand at the altar, which is really just an arch of white roses in front of crooked rows of chairs on the sand.
Sunlight bounces off the water like someone scattered diamonds across the waves.
But nothing is as bright as the man who is currently walking down the aisle toward me.
His platinum-blond hair is spiked up in defiance of the beach breeze, and he’s dressed in a purple suit—not his velvet one, but a new one purchased for the wedding that has subtle sparkles in the fabric that catch the light.
I’m wearing his choice too, a light-blue linen suit that Felix declared “beachy but sophisticated.” I was more than happy to hand the aesthetic choices of our wedding over to Felix, knowing he would create something that felt like us.
I’ve loved seeing him embracing color over the last two years, first in his own outfits, where he began wearing brighter clothes, not worrying anymore about attracting people’s stares.
And then in our apartment, where the walls are now painted bright colors with framed pictures drawn by Emmy, adding to the vibrant, chaotic look.
Emmy leads the way down the aisle in front of Felix, diligently scattering shells as she goes.
Sophie, Felix, and Emmy went out to the beach this morning after breakfast to collect the shells.
I’d looked out the window at one point to see Felix showing Sophie something on his phone that made her throw her head back and laugh while Emmy built elaborate shell patterns at their feet.
That’s probably the biggest surprise of the last two years, the friendship that has sprung up between Sophie and Felix.
Spending time with both of them was awkward at first, with Felix cracking jokes that landed like lead balloons while Sophie answered in single syllables, both of them looking to me for rescue.
But my soon-to-be husband is the kindest and most forgiving person I’ve ever met.
He suggested we do a family therapy session that included Sophie, and to my surprise, she agreed.
Annie had made Sophie and Felix talk directly to each other instead of through me, which led to forty minutes of uncomfortable conversation.
Sophie confessed she still had nightmares about the accident.
Felix admitted he’d spent months wondering if he’d been distracted or texting, torturing himself with possibilities, and how much he resented the fact that she hadn’t told the truth at the time.
The turning point was when Felix told Sophie that hating her would mean hating the reason he met me, and that was impossible. Sophie had broken down completely then, and Felix had moved to sit beside her, letting her cry on his shoulder while I sat there trying not to break down myself.
They’d ended the session by agreeing to let Emmy be their bridge to a better relationship.
Then, a few months later, they’d discovered a mutual love of terrible reality dating shows that they watch together while sending each other commentary texts.
Which then turned into shopping trips together because it turned out Felix was the ultimate guru at hunting through charity shops to spot designer labels at a fraction of what they’d usually cost.
Now, I think Sophie talks to Felix more than she does to me. Apparently, he’s far superior in giving advice about her love life.
It’s weird thinking that three years ago, I didn’t even know Felix existed, and now Sophie threatens to disown me if I ever hurt him. Not that I would, considering he’s currently walking toward me looking like every single one of my dreams decided to show up at once.
Felix stops right before the altar, looking at me with mock seriousness. “Before we do this, I need to know something vital. Will there be brownies for every major life event?”
“Obviously. I already have a batch planned for our first anniversary,” I reply
“Then I guess I’ll marry you.” He steps forward to take my hands, grinning.
Emmy races off to join Sophie in the front row, who is smiling widely.
The celebrant grins as well. “Well, now that the brownie negotiations are settled, shall we make this official?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Definitely,” Felix replies.
“Welcome everyone to the beach, to the sand currently destroying your nice shoes, and to the wedding of Felix and Jared,” the celebrant begins.
“Felix and Jared want to keep this short and sweet, so we’ll get straight to the good part.
They’ve written their own vows, which they’ll now share with each other and all of you. ”
Felix pulls out his phone, his hands shaking slightly. “I wrote these at three a.m., when you were snoring and Patches was judging me for being awake, so bear with me.”
He takes a breath. “Jared, I met you at the worst moment of my life, when I was broken and bleeding and making inappropriate jokes about geology. You stayed with me in the darkness, literally and figuratively. You not only saved me, but you made me strong enough to save myself, and to be able to be the partner you deserve. You laugh at my terrible jokes, you let me reorganize our spice rack by color instead of alphabet, like a normal person, and you never made me feel like my scars were something to hide. I love you more than Patches loves knocking things off counters, which is saying something.”
The crowd laughs, which gives me a second to compose myself.
I still can’t believe I’m lucky enough to marry this man.
Especially when I’d convinced myself that the secret I held inside me would poison the roots of our relationship before anything real could grow.
It was horrible being in love with someone when you were keeping a massive secret from them. It had strained my relationship with Sophie and had left me unable to even contemplate how Felix and I could build a future together.
I’d justified it thinking Felix only wanted a friends-with-benefits arrangement, that someone as forthright as him would let me know if he wanted more.
I had no idea he was interpreting my behavior as not thinking he was worthy of a long-term relationship because of his scars. And I hate that I inadvertently made this man, even for a second, think he didn’t deserve everything.
Hopefully, the last two years have convinced him exactly how much I love him.
Because it’s been two years full of laughter and lazy Sunday mornings in bed. Felix graduated and got his dream job working in one of Deborah’s clinics, and now I help people in my job, he helps animals in his, and we know that, at the end of a long day, we will always have someone to talk to.
I try to sum up some of this now as I say my vows. “Felix, you crashed into my life twice. Once literally, and once dressed as Yoda. And you changed my entire life.
“You are the bravest, most brilliant, and most beautiful man I’ve ever met, and you’ve taught me so much about life and love that I will never be able to repay you.
I promise to bake you brownies whenever you need them, to pretend I don’t notice when you steal my hoodies, and to love you through every adventure we go through together. ”
Felix wipes his eyes dramatically. “Okay, you win. Your vows were better.”
“I don’t think it’s a competition,” I tell him.
“Okay, maybe not.” He grins at me.
The celebrant clears her throat, holding out the rings. “Gentlemen, your rings?”
Felix takes his ring from her.
“Felix, repeat after me,” the celebrant says. “With this ring, I choose you.”
“With this ring, I choose you,” Felix says, sliding the band onto my finger. His hands are completely steady now.
Unlike mine are when I reach for my ring from the celebrant.
I normally pride myself on my steady hands, but it appears my hands have realized this is the most important thing I will ever do for my life happiness and are shaking.
“And, Jared,” she continues, “repeat after me: with this ring, I choose you.”
“With this ring, I choose you,” I say, managing to slide the gold band onto his finger.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may—”
But Felix doesn’t wait. He pulls me in for a kiss that’s slightly too enthusiastic for public viewing. The crowd erupts in cheers and wolf-whistles, though I’m pretty sure I hear “gross” from Emmy’s direction.
Our reception is held at a restaurant that’s right on the beach. It’s a beautiful night, and the doors are wide open to the deck, so everyone is dancing under the sky.
There’s Mattie with his boyfriend. It’s still hilarious that the man who used to give cynical commentary on other people’s love lives ended up in the most ridiculous, swoony Hallmark movie romance. It’s like the universe heard him mocking romance and said, “hold my beer.”
Tim and Jamie are slow dancing like they’re the only two people on the deck, Jamie’s head on Tim’s shoulder, while Tim whispers something that makes him laugh.
It wasn’t until their wedding reception a year ago that I learned that Tim and Jamie’s relationship had started with an inadvertent secret that came close to derailing it. The fact that they managed to make it through provides even more testimony to the power of love as a force for forgiveness.
Near Tim and Jamie, Seb is dancing with his boyfriend, and they are definitely attracting more than their fair share of stares from our other wedding guests.
Because Seb’s boyfriend is none other than Marcus Johnson, a man whose face has graced countless Hollywood hit movies.
Okay, on second thought, maybe that takes over from Felix and Sophie’s friendship as the biggest surprise in the past two years.
The discovery that the quiet, unassuming science professor on my soccer team had been secretly dating one of Hollywood’s biggest stars for years.
When news of their relationship had broken in the most public—and romantic—way possible, it was the first time I saw Felix’s mouth literally drop open in surprise.
“It’s always the quiet ones,” he’d finally said when he recovered from his shock.
But despite Marcus and Seb shocking the Rainbow Rascals team and pretty much the whole world, seeing them together now shows that they make more sense as a couple in real life than they do on paper.
Because Marcus seems to have dropped the layer of cocky charm he usually has plastered on when he’s talking to the media and is staring down at Seb with an expression that can only be described as adoration.
“I just challenged your husband to a couples dance-off,” Ryan says, appearing at my elbow with Cody in tow.
“No,” I say.
“That’s what I said too,” Cody says.
“I have no idea why you’re so reluctant,” Ryan says to his husband. “You’re a musician. We’ll have the advantage.”
“And you have the rhythm of a broken metronome,” Cody says. “Which definitely neutralizes that advantage.”
I laugh. And that sound seems to attract the attention of my newly minted husband, who snaps his head up from where he’s talking to Mattie and weaves through the crowd toward us.
“That’s a no to the dance-off from Jared as well,” Ryan informs Felix when he reaches us.
“Another time,” Felix promises.
“Come on,” Cody says, dragging Ryan back so they can dance together.
Felix watches them start dancing with a smile.
“Dance with me?”
“Always.”
I pull my husband close, but we only manage to dance half a song together before Emmy wants to join in. Which leads to Felix and me picking her up and taking turns twirling her in our arms. She laughs, the gap where she lost her front tooth last week still surprising.
Emmy traces one of Felix’s scars with her finger. “Uncle Felix, did you really fight a dragon?”
My wonderful husband catches my eye. “Something like that, sweetheart.”
I can’t help speaking up, my voice hoarse. “He actually saved a princess and her family, and he got hurt doing it.”
“That’s what heroes do,” Emmy says in a matter-of-fact voice.
“Exactly,” I agree.
Thanks for reading Felix and Jared’s story!