CHAPTER 8 johnnie NOW
johnnie
NOW
Watching Collins interact with a beautiful woman isn’t exactly how I want to start my day, yet here we are.
My heart aches, and I just wish I could talk to Bea.
She’s been a constant in my life and that didn’t change when I moved away.
She eventually left Laken long ago too, and works in the Big Apple as a magazine editor.
Thanks to modern technology, phone calls and text messages have been part of our everyday lives for years.
I’m just about to pick up my phone and call her when there’s a knock at the door.
Oh, good lord, if the raven beauty next door needs sugar, I definitely don’t have any.
The door swings open. “Knock, knock!” There stands my gorgeous best friend, and tears immediately form in my eyes. I just stand there, my shoulders slumped, and her arms are instantly around me.
“Oh my god, Bea, I was literally just about to call you. It’s so good to see you…and smell you? What’s that smell?” I cover my nose and wince, so does she.
“Sorry, I need a shower. The woman next to me on the plane had a newborn. It’s a long story, but basically I’ve been spit-up on multiple times and topped it off with a nice splash of rum and Coke of my own, thanks to unexpected turbulence.”
“Yikes, go throw your clothes in the wash and hop in the shower. Clean towels are under the sink.”
She smells absolutely putrid.
By mid-afternoon, we’re sitting on the floor at the coffee table, watching old ’90s movies, sharing Mexican takeout, and laughing like we’re teenagers again. Can’t Hardly Wait is playing on the TV currently, and I’m stuffed with enchiladas.
“I can’t believe you’re here, Bea.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d be. As soon as you told me about Nan, I scheduled off and got the okay to work remotely for as long as you need me. Honestly, I’m so sick of that place, maybe I’ll never go back. I’m here to help with anything, just name it.”
Tears form in my eyes. I’m unbelievably grateful for my best friend.
“I really appreciate it. My parents are too busy, apparently, so I’m navigating everything alone.”
“Not anymore,” she says. The look on her face lets me know she’s about to say something unpleasant. “You know I have to ask—have you seen Collins? Or any of the Combs boys yet?”
I sigh. “Actually, I have.”
I spend the next hour filling Bea in on the envelope Collins brought me, our encounter outside the funeral home and the new life he seems to have created since we parted.
“A lot can happen in ten years, John. I think you need to see what’s in the envelope, though. If you don’t want to, I’ll do it for you.”
“We can do it together later. I just need some time with my bestie in one of my favorite places. And maybe I need to cry a few times.”
The sound of laughter permeates the thin walls.
When I stand, I can see through the window directly above the TV.
A little boy’s head bobs up and down as he runs around the yard between their place and mine.
On his heels is a small white puppy dotted with black.
The boy’s giggles mixed with little dog squeaky shrieks are adorable, and a reluctant smile spreads across my face.
“Oh my gosh, how cute,” Bea says, her voice dripping with adoration.
She’s walking out into the yard, and I follow before I have a chance to think twice.
Bea bends down and scoops the pup up, and I notice two others standing outside.
Collins and his mystery woman are looking on, smiles on their faces, as the little boy runs up to Collins, arms spread wide, crashing into him and wrapping little arms around Collins’s waist. “Is he really mine to keep?”
Collins leans down and whispers something in his ear.
The boy takes off cheering, and Bea lets down the puppy who immediately starts chasing his friend again.
I stand, body frozen, on the last step of the front porch deck.
Both the woman and Collins are watching me, one with a smile, one with a look that says he doesn’t even know me. I feel my heart crack a bit more.
“Hi, you must be Johnnie, I’ve heard a lot about you.” She walks my way and reaches her deep purple painted fingernails toward me. And when I bring mine up to shake it, her gold bracelets rattle against each other bringing my eyes right down to the diamond ring on her left hand.
It’s all I can focus on, and words evade me. I’m about to open my mouth when Collins heads for their front door and retreats inside.
“I’m Lou.” She points to the boy whose dark eyes match her own. “That’s Billy and apparently our new Dalmatian puppy!” She beams a huge white-toothed smile at me.
“Collins spoils him. His brothers do, too. They’ve told me about you and how you lived here once. I’m so sorry about your grandmother. She seemed so lovely.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m just here long enough to figure out all of Nan’s arrangements and put this place up for sale, then I’ll be heading back to Texas.” Feeling uncomfortable as hell, I start to head back up the steps.
“They’ve missed you, you know. You had a lasting impression around here.”
I pause but don’t look back. That feels like a gut punch. I reach the door and slowly walk in. If she’s looking for a conversation, Bea can talk to her. I can’t bring myself to share words. I throw myself onto the couch and begin a pity party for one.
Nan’s gone, and the love of my life clearly moved on. I have no idea why that hits me as hard as it does. Did I really think that, when I came back to my hometown after leaving the way I did, the boy I fell in love with all those years ago would just be waiting for me? Wouldn’t hate me?
It’s delusional.
I grab a pillow and squeeze it to my chest, bringing my legs up and curling into a ball.
Warm tears meet my cheeks and the air I try breathing in feels too thick.
I can hear Bea make her way back in but don’t bother opening my eyes. She pulls a blanket over me, kisses me on the forehead, and tells me I’m going to be okay.
I hope she’s right, but at the moment it sure doesn’t feel that way.