CHAPTER 9 johnnie THEN
johnnie
THEN
“Where are we going?” I didn’t ask questions when Collins brought a helmet to my door, telling Nan we had plans and promising to return me in one piece.
My curiosity is piqued now that we’ve been riding in silence for a while.
Wind whipping my hair, glued to the back of his muscular frame, resting my chin on his shoulder.
We took the four-wheeler straight from our place down to the lake at the end of the street, and we’ve been cruising along tall cattails on the water’s edge long enough for the sun to start kissing the horizon, leaving pink skies as a parting gift.
“Nowhere in particular, beautiful. It was just a shit day at work, my brothers are pissing me off, I was in my head. You’re the only one who quiets the noise these days.” He squeezes my knee. “I just needed my riding partner.”
My heart is going to explode. This boy.
He hasn’t told me much about his parents, and I don’t want to crack that conversation open before he’s ready.
But something tells me his heavy thoughts stem from that.
I wrap my arms tightly around his middle, smashing my face between his shoulder blades, squeezing my eyes shut and inhaling his scent.
“I’ll ride with you forever if it helps ease any of your burdens, Collins.” The truth behind those words is so overwhelming, tears threaten to make an appearance, but I manage to keep them in check.
He removes his hand from my thigh, grabbing my hands at his chest, unyielding, and starts slowing down. Just as we come to a stop, we separate, him leaning forward, me backward. Collins hops off and comes to stand beside me.
“You see that big rock over there?” He points to a large gray stone about twenty feet from the water, sitting off by itself.
“Growing up, Dad brought me and my brothers to this exact spot almost every weekend in the summer. It was his honey hole. We’d turn his old radio to his favorite AM station and listen to the Reds baseball games while we fished.
We’d leave Mom at home to enjoy a testosterone-free house for the day, but we’d always bring our yellow lab, Lady, with us.
She would run through this meadow by the water, chasing rabbits, then come and jump in the water scaring all the fish away.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes at night, I swear I can still feel her beside me.
“She got cancer suddenly and died when I was twelve. Dad, Campbell, Crandall, and I brought her out here to our spot and buried her. Dad rolled that big rock from right along the water, to where we put her in the ground so we would always know where she was.” His eyes are sad, voice shaky, and the tears I had been keeping under control spill over.
“That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard, Collins. I’m so sorry.”
“Sometimes I feel like everyone I love is just going to leave me, and the fear consumes me.” He pulls a can of chew from his back pocket and puts a dip in.
It’s then and there that I decide Collins makes everything sexy. I get a whiff of wintergreen and he holds a tiny bit out on the tip of his finger.
“Wanna try it?”
“Eww, no way.”
“Come on, be a rebel for once in your life.”
“How would you know how rebellious I am?”
“Okay, Johnnie, what’s the most scandalous thing you’ve ever done?”
I think about it for a second, nothing coming to mind, and give him a simultaneous eye roll and scowl.
He laughs. “That’s what I thought.” Stepping so close, I can feel his breath on my cheek, he lifts his finger to my mouth and my heart speeds up.
I eye the chew, then as soon as my eyes catch his, he smirks and gently slides his finger between my lips, pushing until he reaches my lower gum line and presses the tobacco in place.
COLLINS
I don’t know what made me do it. My finger in her mouth, her hesitation so adorable. The trust she places in me is enamoring.
“I didn’t expect it to taste good.”
I chuckle at that.
“My head feels funny, is that normal?” She’s adorable.
“You don’t have much, but you’re not used to it, so, yeah. It’s going to give you a little buzz. Enjoy it.”
I lean forward and press my lips to hers. Neither one of us actually kissing, just standing there, body and mouths fused, unmoving.
That doesn’t say much for my heart, though. It’s running rampant.
I breathe her in and feel her intake of breath as well. Reaching up, I run the tips of my fingers through her hair at her temples and slowly move my lips to her cheek.
Then her jaw.
Her neck.
Just as I’m sliding from her neck down the curve of her shoulder, she jerks suddenly, and I back away.
“I’m sorry, was it too fast? We don’t have to—”
Suddenly, I’m cut off when she springs forward, past me and stops with her hands on her knees. I hear her spit, followed by a whimper. I run to her side and bunch her hair in my fist. “Are you gonna puke?”
She doesn’t answer, taking a few deep breaths, then straightens up.
“I thought I was going to, but I think I’m okay.”
I rub a hand up and down her back after releasing her hair.
“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t think this little bit would make you sick.”
She squints at me, tucking her lip between her teeth, and shifting her weight between her feet.
“Come on, lightweight, let’s get you back home. You need some water and your bed. I promised Nan I’d bring you back safely. She’ll kill me if she finds out I was corrupting you.”
By the time we get back to the park, the sun has set, bringing out a strand of twinkling stars. The moon is hiding behind a cluster of clouds, but it’s leaving the largest halo of light in the sky. We can hear music coming from Nan’s before we even get to the porch.
“Sounds like Willie is visiting Nan tonight, this ought to be interesting.” Johnnie says, making her way up the front deck, me following close behind and snickering at her annoyance.
Inside, there’s Nan, standing by the kitchen counter, Budweiser in one hand, Marlboro in the other, waving it through the air as she dances and sways in place. “Whiskey River” is blaring on the record player.
“Kids!” she yells, voice a bit slurred and looking our way through squinted eyes. “I love ya! You two are so cute together! Promise me you’ll get married, and when you bring your babies to my funeral someday—make sure to play this song! None of that sad, sappy shit!”
I can’t help but laugh, and even as Johnnie presses a palm to her forehead I can see the slight grin she can’t help from slipping out.
She looks up at me, like she’s afraid to see my reaction to the quirky old lady in front of us. When she sees me smiling, she breaks out in laughter.
“I’m not playing ‘Whiskey River’ at my grandmother’s funeral.”
Now we’re both chuckling.
“I’ll help you get her to bed,” I say, still grinning.
“No, that’s okay, I can handle it. It’s getting late and you have to work in the morning. Thanks for taking me riding again.” Johnnie makes work of turning the stereo off and scooting Nan toward the hallway.
“Night, night, sugar!” Nan blows a kiss toward me and throws a hand up, heading down the hallway.
“Good night, ladies.”
I’m still laughing as I shut the door and hear Nan mumbling something about it not being her bedtime, and Johnnie assuring her that “Oh, yes it is.”