Chapter 54
MYLES
Charlie: I love you. Just wanted to tell you that *red heart emoji*
It’s not the first text I’ve gotten like that today, and I’d be a liar if I said I haven’t spent most of the past seven and a half hours grinning at my phone, rereading those messages until I have every last one memorized.
No amount of I love you texts can make up for the fact that today’s been one of those days where I haven’t been able to sneak in even one chance to stop off and see Charlie in his classroom, but god, they come pretty damn close.
Maybe today, it’s for the best that I haven’t gotten the chance to see Charlie though. While we’ve been at work at least. Talk with him for too long, and I don’t know that I’d be able to keep myself from blurting out what I need to tell him. Right here at the school.
Definitely not the place, or the way, I want it to play out.
Other than reading, rereading, and responding to those texts of his with I love yous of my own, I’m not exactly sure of any details of what I’ve done today.
There was that long talk in the hall with the high school history teacher, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what it was about.
I know I sent emails, though god only knows if whatever I wrote makes any sense.
I’m sure there had to have been kids in lunch detention, but if there were, hell if I know who was there.
All I’ve really been able to focus on thinking about is Charlie.
Charlie last night with his arms around me and his body behind mine, moving inside me until I felt, for once in my life, like the two of us were actually close enough for me not to ache with the need for more of him.
Charlie telling me he loves me.
Calling me his everything.
The chaos of nerves rattling around in me when I wonder what he’ll say this afternoon, when I tell him what I can’t hold in another day—
“Good day, Mr. M?” someone shouts across the hall, but before I can get my brain to register that the question had been for me, the group of boys that the shout had come from is long gone, bumping shoulders and jostling their way out the doors and into the afternoon sun.
Doesn’t matter that I didn’t answer whoever it was. There’s no way his question was anything but rhetorical. The smile on my face’s a mile wide.
When the commotion of kids leaving the building finally slows enough for me to feel like I can get away from hallway duty and step into Charlie’s classroom, I find him at his desk, looking just as spaced out and pleased with life as me.
God, forget Janice Dawson and her thirst for rumors. Get the two of us together in the same room, and no one who sees Charlie and me is gonna be left in any doubt as to exactly what is going on between us.
Janice has been hinting at wanting to know.
Last Friday and again today, she’s dropped by my office, singing out her obnoxiously pitched, “Knock, knock,” then lingering around even though she’s got nothing relevant to say.
She’d worked Charlie into pretty much every part of our conversation, raising her eyebrows expectantly, like she’d actually thought I’d voluntarily tell her shit that’s none of her business.
Honestly though, I don’t care anymore who knows. Janice is nosy, with exactly no boundaries. Worst of all, she’s a bitch to the kids, especially the ones who can least take her nastiness.
If she guesses about Charlie and me though, let her. As long as Charlie doesn’t mind, she can spread it around the whole damn school for all I care.
I’m happy and I’m done hiding it.
It’s like Rosa said yesterday. If I have to hide the things that make me happy from someone to keep them happy, then they can fuck off, because I am done doing it. And Charlie and me being together? Nothing has ever made me happier in my life.
The smile that lights Charlie’s face the moment he looks up from his computer and sees me makes my knees go weak. He’s just so pretty. So mine.
Just as quickly as his smile came, his look changes into a mixture of smug and concerned as his eyes scan my face, and it’s so damn adorable, it’s all I can do not to cross the space between us and kiss both expressions right off his lips.
Back at his place, before we’d left for work, he’d caught my quiet, startled intake of breath when I’d sat down with him for breakfast. I know it worried him, but honestly, my ass doesn’t even necessarily hurt.
It’s just a bit sore. In an achy, hot as hell because it reminds me of every moment of last night, kind of way. The truth is, I fucking love it.
“Come over when you can leave?” I work to keep my tone light, and I’ve gotta have pulled it off because a knowing edge creeps into his smile as he nods.
Not that he’s completely off base. Yeah, I’ve got something far more important even than that to talk to him about first, but I’m not denying that I’m also counting on some of whatever he’s obviously got on his mind.
Though, unfortunately, he was right last night when he’d told me I’d need a couple days before I’d be up for a repeat.
Or fuck, that switching thing he’d been talking about…
And goddammit Charlie, now I’m going and getting hard.
The wait for Charlie to get to my house after I get home feels like it takes fucking forever.
Fifty-seven minutes, and the last six, ever since Charlie texted to say he’s on his way, spent pacing up and down the living room floor until I feel like I’m gonna wear away a damn hole in the new hardwoods.
I’m at the door the moment I hear the crunch of gravel under his tires.
“Ohmigod,” he’s talking before he’s even out of the car, and I can’t take my eyes off of him, all golden-brown hair and brilliant, changeable green eyes and that smile that puts every sight I’ve seen in all my travels to shame with his beauty.
“I thought I’d never get away. Janice stopped by,” he wrinkles up his face, and god, how can that expression look so damn good on anyone? “She wanted to chat, which, in case you were wondering, is Janice code for try again to pry details out of me about us. Ugh, why she can’t just leave it alone—”
He wraps his arms around me, cutting off his own stream of speech and nestling his face against my neck as I run my hands up his back.
“Mmm,” he sighs, soft, warm lips moving over my skin. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I love you so much, Myles.” He cuddles in closer, breathing in a long, happy breath, and I’m smiling so hard, I swear I can feel it all the way down to my toes.
Doesn’t do a thing to calm down my nerves though even if, logically, I know it should.
If anything, it only makes them worse. Literally nothing in my life has ever mattered more than this.
Fuck, I need to pull myself together. Already, my chest’s going all tight with anticipation.
“I take it you don’t want to talk about Janice anymore?” I tease, grasping at the moment’s distraction.
“Huh?” He pulls back to look at me with a confused expression crinkling his nose that’s so cute, it’s enough to cut straight through my anxiousness and make me laugh out loud.
“You were telling me about Janice trying to get information out of you?”
“Right! Ugh.”
He tucks his face in against my neck again, slipping his hands up the back of my shirt and pressing his palms to my bare skin, as if, just like me, he can’t get enough of touching me. The thought sends a wash of warmth to replace anxiety in my chest.
“I was all irritated on the drive over, because I would have been able to leave like ten minutes earlier if she hadn’t held me up. But I totally don’t care anymore. And no, thank you, I do not want to talk about her anymore.”
“Good.” My arms tighten around him as a fresh crack of nerves runs through me, turning my stomach upside down and making my heart batter itself against my ribs. “I’ve got to show you something.”
Instantly, he’s leaning back from me, hand on my cheek, scanning my face. “Is everything okay?”
He has to have heard the change in my tone. That, or maybe he feels how my body’s gone all tense. Hell, maybe he even just feels my nerves. Wouldn’t surprise me. He’s Charlie.
“Yeah.” I swallow hard, sucking in a breath that’s meant to steady me but only makes my stomach feel vaguely queasy. “C’mon.”
He’s gotta be able to feel the way my hand’s trembling when he links his fingers in mine as I lead him in through the front door, but he doesn’t say anything.
I’d woken up in the middle of the night last night, Charlie all warm and fast asleep with his arms wrapped around my waist, his body curled against mine and his soft breath skimming over the skin of my back, and I’d planned it all out.
From the moment he’d blurted his adorable, incomplete I love you, I’d known this was it.
Even if it turns out I’m wrong and it’s not what he wants to hear, I’d be a fucking asshole to hold back from telling him the truth any longer.
More than a little of me had wanted to wake him up and tell him then and there. I’m not going anywhere. Unless it’s with you.
And then this idea had popped into my head, and I’d known.
Charlie’s eyes zero right in on the book the moment I lead him over to the couch. I’d been looking through it while I waited for him to get here. When he’d texted me, I’d left it on the coffee table. Right before I’d started up my attempt to wear a hole in the floor.
The way his hand tightens around mine and the hitch of his breath go straight to my heart. I’d been sure he’d recognize it, but the proof of it’s a whole nother thing.
“You still have it.” He smiles wistfully at me, not yet getting what exactly it is I’m showing him. “Did you find it while you were working on the house?”
“No.” I shake my head, reaching down to pluck it up from the table. “Do you remember? Because I want to see what you see when we’re not together. Draw it and show me when I see you?”
His eyebrows pull slightly as he tips his head to the side, green eyes pinging between my face and the book in my hand. “Is that what I wrote in it?”