Chapter 10
TEN
Gus arrived at Madoc’s doorstep very early the next day with a bunch of kid-craft ideas he’d found on the internet and a solid case of sleep deprivation thanks to his dumbass brain keeping him up thinking about kissing his partner.
Who looked phenomenally hot when he opened his door, all sleepy-eyed and barefoot, clad in a white t-shirt and blue jersey shorts. Gus’s ability for rational thought went bye-bye as he followed Madoc into the kitchen because Lord , his partner’s ass was glorious under that thin fabric, high and tight and beautifully round above a pair of thick thighs.
Thankfully, seeing a rainbow-spangled pony lunch box on the kitchen island snapped Gus back to reality.
Focus, Dawson.
They chatted over coffee and eggs, Madoc thanking Gus more than once for his help before producing an actual printed checklist that Gus took with a smile.
“It’s more for Val than for you,” Madoc said. “If she has questions, just show her the documentation.”
“So, it’s like that, huh?”
“Yup. She’s paying attention to everything all of the time, even if it looks like she’s not.”
“Got it. What does she know about her mom?” Gus asked. “I don’t want to flub anything if she asks.”
“I told her Noelene's out of town on business. Which is true, as far as we know.” Face serious again, Madoc picked up their mugs. “I have an appointment after shift with the attorney who handled my original custody agreement because I want to end Noelene’s parenting hours. She’s supposed to spend a certain number of hours with Val every week,” he said, “but I don’t feel comfortable with that arrangement anymore after the shit she pulled on me this week.”
Frowning, Gus nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need, and we can talk about where you want to go with the kid-sitting when you’re ready.”
“I want to talk about what happened last night too.” Madoc set Gus’s cup under the brewer and started a cycle though he kept his gaze down. “You know the, um, kissing and all that.”
“We can talk about the kissing, of course. I just don’t want you feeling pressured about anything.”
“I don’t feel pressured. But I also can’t act like last night was nothing.”
Well, shit that wasn’t good. And here Gus’d hoped he’d be doing the right thing by not make a big deal about anything.
Standing, he walked around the island to join Madoc at the counter.
“It wasn’t nothing for me, either,” Gus chided gently. “I still need you to set the pace, so I understand what you’re ready for.”
Color stained Madoc’s cheeks, but he met Gus’s eyes. “That’s fair. I’m not a child though, and you don’t need to walk on eggshells around me.”
Gus nodded. It was possible he was being overprotective, and Madoc didn’t seem as spooked today as he had the night before. Gus still wanted to tread carefully. His partnership with Madoc had crossed into a weird place over the last several days. They’d become … involved in a way, their connection deeper than the more straightforward friendship that came from being colleagues.
An hour later, Gus had done some light yoga and donned his uniform and Valerie had slept through her alarm. Gus prodded the kid-shaped lump under the quilt on her bed until she rose, but while she was sluggish in body and mood, her brain came online quickly and the Q Gus had never been able to get colors onto paper that were as vivid or true as the ones that lived in his head. Seeing his drawings take life under Valerie’s fingers was wonderful though, her imagination taking them to fantastical places Gus’d never even imagined.
Smiling, he handed down a pair of rainbow-striped socks. Valerie attended a public school, but the students wore uniforms, and she’d spent ages deciding between navy blue leggings and a navy-blue skirt before deciding she’d wear both with a white polo shirt for her top. She looked pretty cute too, even lying flat on her back.
“How come you don’t want to keep Lemonade?” she asked him now, waving a sock in each hand as she spoke.
“It’s not that I don’t,” Gus replied, “but if I took her home, everyone at Station 1 would miss her, you know? So, she lives there most of the time and we all share taking care of her.”
“Aw. That’s wicked nice!”
“Lemonade seems to like it.”
Taking a knee, Gus tied one of Valerie’s sneakers while she worked on the other. “Okeedokee, artichokey,” he said. “How about you brush your teeth while I braid your hair?”
“I can do that!” Valerie said brightly. “But Gus? If tomatoes are fruits, does that make ketchup a smoothie?”
Gus snorted. “I don’t know, girl. But that one was kind of deep.”
Valerie had enlisted Gus as her partner in crime.
That much was obvious the moment Madoc walked into his kitchen and a pair of paper airplanes sailed past his head, chased by Valerie’s giggles. He mimed hitting the deck, then laughed as his girl rushed to greet him, purple tutu bouncing with every step.
“How you doin’, Daddy?”
“Doin’ just fine, Valley Girl.”
He scooped her up and she wasted no time launching into an excited tale about her project to build a fleet of paper aircraft. Madoc smiled at her bright eyes and admired the little flower-shaped clips adorning the thick braid hanging over her shoulder, noting Gus’s bracelet was around her left upper arm this time.
“Whose idea was it to make planes?” he asked.
“Mine!” she chirped. “Gus brought lots of ideas, and I got to vote on my favorite. Ooh, and he made me a coloring book!”
“That was a lot easier than folding paper planes,” Gus teased as he joined them. He wore the t-shirt and cargo shorts he’d arrived in that morning along with a smile.
Madoc had brought home pizza for dinner, and he quickly tasked Valerie with cleaning up her craft supplies so he could make salad and catch up with Gus.
“How’d it go?” he asked Gus, who seated himself at the kitchen island.
“Good, I think! I let her dress herself this morning, but we lost a pair of socks somehow.” Gus glanced around, his brow creasing slightly. “Still not sure where they went, but I suppose they’ll turn up again someday. We got out of the house in time to make sure Val wasn’t late for school, and after pickup we walked around the fruit stalls at Haymarket before coming back here. There’s a carton of blueberries in the fridge that Val wants for dessert.”
He’s enjoying himself.
Madoc could tell from the warmth in Gus’s face. But the circles under Gus’s eyes were also darker than yesterday and the way he kept rubbing his chest with his knuckles spoke of pain.
“She wasn’t too much?” Madoc asked and Gus, God love him, shook his head.
“Not at all.” Gus stole a glance at Valerie before looking back to Madoc. “Can I ask how it went with your attorney?” he asked quietly.
Madoc brought the salad ingredients and bowl to the island, then walked around it to take the seat next to Gus’s.
“It was a good meeting,” he replied. “We talked about my reasons for revoking Noelene's parenting time, and we’ll talk again after the terms are re-drafted. The attorney’s filed an emergency order to end the shared agreement in the meantime to get the ball rolling.”
Concern clouded Gus’s face. “I’m sorry, man. I wish Tarek was here, so you didn’t have to deal with this on your own.”
I’m not on my own , Madoc thought as another wave of that weird grief hit him, thick as mud. He hated what Noelene had done to their family, but he still worried for her.
For Gus too, who was rubbing his ribs again and looked startled when Madoc reached out and pressed his own fingers over Gus’s.
“Is this okay?” Madoc nodded at Gus’s chest. “I don’t want you hurting even though I know it probably can’t be helped.”
“It can’t. But it’s not bad, I promise. Just achy today is all.” Gus glanced away, ears going red, and Madoc hoped he hadn’t embarrassed him.
“Daddy!”
Dropping his hand, Madoc turned a smile on his girl. “Valerie!” he exclaimed, mimicking her the way Gus so often did with him and, predictably, she rolled her eyes.
“I’m hungry,” she said, then surprised him by crowding up against Gus’s legs. Slinging an arm over his knees, she set her hand on Gus’s kneecap, not far from the top edge of the prosthetic’s socket. “Like, wicked staahving,” she added, laying the local accent on thick, “and so is the Gusberry.”
Madoc grinned at his girl. “The Gusberry, huh?”
“Because I’m sweet and tart all at the same time.” Gus gently tweaked Valerie’s braid. “Personally, I prefer Guszilla, but it’s not like I have any say in the matter.”
Tipping her head back, Valerie let out a monster roar, and Madoc was still chuckling as he headed off to shower and change while his daughter set the table and his partner finished the salad.
He’d missed this. Laughter and banter around chores. Place settings for three at his table. Easy, caring touches from another adult, whether they came in the form of shoulder nudges or a hug that’d centered him instantly. And the kissing they’d done last night … Christ. Madoc hadn’t stopped thinking about how it might feel to do it again. To learn if sharing another kiss with Gus would feel as good.
“You still want to talk?” Gus asked later that evening when Madoc returned from tucking Valerie into bed. “I’m not in the mood for beer, but I saw some bottles of Mexicoke in the fridge.”
“Cola’s fine,” Madoc said with shrug. “And yeah, I want to talk,” he said, stepping into Gus’s space where he stood by the windows. “Maybe kiss you some more too, if you want.”
Gus’s lips curled in a slow smirk. “I want.” Gently, he pulled Madoc into a loose hug. “Haven’t stopped thinking about the way you taste since you laid one on me last night.”
Heat swirled in Madoc’s belly, though he was sure his heart might actually jump out of his chest. “Same,” he said, putting his hands on Gus’s slim waist. “It’s just … I really have no idea what I’m doing, so please don’t laugh if I fuck this up.”
The amusement went out of Gus’s face. “I would never laugh at you over something like that,” he said. “It’s okay to be unsure about what you’re feeling. And to say no when I ask if it’s all right to kiss you.”
Madoc closed his eyes and set his forehead against Gus’s. “It’s more than all right.”
The barest whisper of breath ghosted over his lips just before Gus slotted their mouths together. And oh, kissing was absolutely better than Madoc’s memories. The beard stubble and Gus’s throaty sound of approval. The power radiating from his lean frame. The way he held Madoc, taking control through touch.
Gus deepened the kiss, mouth opening wider, and Madoc gladly fell into it, every inch of him clamoring to get closer. For more.
Delight thrummed through him, filling Madoc’s chest. Then Gus teased his tongue between Madoc’s lips and the jolt of pleasure that rocked through Madoc almost put him on his ass.
Holy fuck.
He couldn’t have stopped his moan if he tried. He was on fire, every one of his nerve endings crackling and his dick straining in his boxers as Gus moved his hand to the back of Madoc’s head. They moved the few steps separating the window from the couch, their lips never parting, and the second Madoc’s ass hit the cushion, Gus climbed onto his lap and that delicious weight reduced Madoc’s bones to water.
“This okay?” Gus asked him between kisses, chuckling when Madoc grunted and kissed him back harder.
This was much more than okay. This was everything. And Madoc felt only joy.
He reveled in Gus’s weight pressing him down. The powerful thighs bracketing his. Gus’s prosthesis against Madoc’s left leg, hard and strange but not unwelcome. Gus holding him. Those drugging, irresistible kisses, Gus’s mouth the best thing he’d ever tasted.
Madoc ran his hands up and down Gus’s back, delighting in the way Gus’s muscles flexed. Gus wanted this too. Wanted Madoc, an understanding that had Madoc’s chest clenching. It’d been far too long since he’d felt desired. Since he’d wanted someone this badly. Basked in being embraced as he oh, so slowly fell apart, his balls throbbing and his cock hard.
Madoc’s breath stuttered as Gus rolled his hips, a slow, tantalizing motion that brought their dicks together through the layers of clothing, sending fire rippling under Madoc’s skin because Gus was hard too. Then Gus slid his fingers among Madoc’s curls, and Madoc melted a little further into the couch cushions. Purely on instinct, he reached down and cupped Gus’s ass in his palm, then rocked up into Gus’s next hip roll, pleasure blooming deep in his belly as he chased the pressure of Gus’s body against his own.
Only for Gus to make a sound that was both hungry and pained before he broke the kiss.
“Christ,” Gus muttered. “Not sure I believe what you said about not knowing what you’re doing.”
Madoc chuckled through the blush heating his cheeks. “I don’t with guys,” he said, “but I’ve always been a quick learner.”
“I believe it.” Slipping his arms around Madoc, Gus wrapped him up in a hug, his voice fond against Madoc’s ear. “Seeing as I am about to lose what’s left of my mind.”
Same.
Closing his eyes, Madoc laid his cheek on Gus’s shoulder and tried to get his thoughts straight. He’d always enjoyed being intimate with women, but this … God, it was powerful. He’d never been so consumed by kissing. Gotten so hard he almost hurt. With a guy , for fuck’s sake, who Madoc had wrapped up in his arms without hesitating.
And what did that say about the man Madoc had thought he’d been all these years?
“I like this,” Madoc murmured. “But I don’t know how to feel about that.”
“It’s okay not to know.” Gus’s lips against Madoc’s hairline soothed him immensely. “You need time to get to know a side of yourself I’m guessing is new, and it’s normal to feel jumbled up in your head while you do it.”
Opening his eyes, Madoc sat back enough to see Gus’s face. “Jumbled up sounds about right. But it’s not just that I’ve never done this with a guy,” he said. “Between work and Val, I don’t have time for any kind of personal life beyond having ice cream and beer while I try to catch up on the TV that I’ve missed. I was being serious when I said it’s been a while since I kissed anyone.”
A soft laugh rumbled through Gus’s chest. “I hear you, man. I haven’t been dating either. Haven’t really felt up to it since Ben blew up my life.”
He pressed his lips against the apple of Madoc’s cheek. “ This could be nice though if you think you’d be up for it. Having fun with a friend, nothing too heavy.”
Gus dropped kisses along Madoc’s temple and forehead, retracing the route Madoc had taken along Gus’s skin only the night before. And with each sweet, infinitely soft touch, Madoc relaxed a bit more.
“I like this,” he said again. “And yeah, I think I’m up for it. Only with you, though. Not ready to talk about it with anyone else.”
Madoc was sure he sounded ridiculous. Like he was clinging to a version of himself that had started to fade from existence the moment he’d pressed his lips to Gus’s. But Gus took Madoc’s uncertainty in stride.
“There aren’t any deadlines,” he said. “When you’re ready to talk about who you are with anyone, you’ll know. Until then, we’ll do whatever feels right and you can talk or not talk to me all you want.”
They sat a while longer, Gus rubbing warm circles into the space between Madoc’s shoulders. And when Madoc finally sat back so Gus could climb off his lap, he felt steadier, especially because Gus kept hold of Madoc’s hand.