Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Friday, June 16 1:30 P.M.
“Did you see that guy’s leg? I wonder what happened?”
Madoc shot a glare at a pair of moms seated not far away. He and Gus had driven A1 to the after-school pickup today and while the ambulance had drawn lots of attention, Gus’s prosthesis was getting more because he’d rolled up his pant leg and left it visible.
“Ugh, that’s so weird.”
“Don’t stare, sweetie.”
“If that were me, I would legit off myself.”
The voices from parents and caregivers around the playground were loud, like they believed Gus had lost all of his hearing along with part of his leg, and the pity, disapproval, and outright revulsion on some of their faces made Madoc angry.
“Quit with the death glare,” Gus said out of the side of his mouth. “It was your idea to talk to the kids and you don’t want to scare them, do you?”
Madoc raised an eyebrow at the small figures swarming Gus, Heather, and himself, all firing off questions with the ease of the very young.
“Are you really an ambulance driver, Mr. Gus?”
“Do you like working with boys, Miss Heather?”
“How come you’re so freaky tall, Mr. Madoc?”
A dark-haired boy stalked up, looking Gus up and down with a critical expression that was almost comical on his little kid features, and this was Tamberlyn, one of the kids who’d pissed Valerie off some weeks earlier.
“Do you hop around when you don’t have your fake leg?” Tamberlyn asked Gus. “And how come you gotta show off when that leg is gross?”
“I can hop around, but I’d rather use my crutches or a chair because they’re faster and safer,” Gus said. He rubbed the crown of Valerie’s head through her ball cap while she glowered at her classmate. “And I think my prothesis looks rad. It helps me do my job and play sports, and if you think it’s gross, that’s not my problem because I’m not responsible for how you feel about me.”
“Oh.” Tamberlyn cocked his head, face uncertain now. “You can play sports?”
“Yup. I box and bike and go running, and I also play basketball in a league and swim when I go to the beach.”
Tamberlyn lit up with laughter. “You can swim with only one foot?!” He cast another look at Gus’s leg, and now his gaze held only interest. “That is rad.”
Gus took a knee so he could pull his prosthesis off and show the kids how it worked, and though one child scooted around Heather’s legs as if to hide behind her, the rest ooh’d and leaned in to get an eyeful of Gus’s short limb.
“Dude, your partner is brave.”
Madoc glanced over at Kenny Baker’s dad, Joey, who’d circled around the cluster of kids to join him. “What do you mean?” he asked, knowing he sounded wary. Madoc liked Joey, but if the dude said anything about Gus and his ‘struggles’ putting the world’s problems into perspective, Madoc was going to get real.
“I mean that this bunch is tough,” Joey replied. “They almost ate me alive when Kenny brought me in for Career Day, and I’ve been teaching sixth-grade science since before these munchkins were even born.”
Joey pitched his voice high like a child’s. “Mr. Baker? Will spiders run away when I fart? And how come dog treats taste so disgusting? What if I’m not even real and just someone’s memory?”
Madoc laughed. “Val licked her own arm yesterday and told Gus and me she tasted ‘neutral’.”
“Fantastic,” Joey said around more cackling. “Hey, do you need help with the pickups? I’ve been meaning to ask since Kenny said Val’s mom and uncle have been out of town. Is that why you switched to days?”
Madoc read the questions in Joey’s eyes. Knew he wanted to ask why Valerie’s mother hadn’t been around and why Gus’d had to step in. And abruptly, Madoc wanted someone to know what his ex had put him and Valerie through.
Slipping his right hand into his pocket, Madoc held on to the tiny bee pin Gus’d given him. He’d taken to carrying it like a good luck charm and, for whatever reason, the thing made it easier for him to relate some of his uncomfortable truths.
“Gus got injured and that’s what landed us both on the day shift. But he took over the drop-offs and pickups because Val’s mom left Boston this summer. Noelene and I divorced last year,” Madoc said. “We’d been doing the co-parenting thing, but now it’s just me.”
Joey’s cheeks and neck flushed a dark red. “Whoa, Madoc. I had no idea.”
“I know. It isn’t easy, especially since Val’s uncle has been away too, but I got lucky with Gus having time to help out.”
Not sure what I’d have done without him.
“You tell me if you need more hands, okay?” The humor in Joey’s face had gone. “I know school’s almost over, but Kenny will be here for summer camp like Val, and Bryn and I can do pickups if you ever need help. And we should meet up for dinner sometime, maybe out at one of those bougie places on the water out near you!”
That’d be nice. For all of us.
The dispatcher’s voice came through his radio. “A1, what’s your twenty?”
“A1 in the North End, Charter and Hanover Streets,” Madoc replied. “You can show us clear.”
“Copy. Water rescue in progress at 306 Congress Street, multiple persons reported stranded in the water at the Boston Tea Party Ships and Museum. 14-D-3, unknown status, BFD Marine 1 on scene. You can go Code Two with just lights.”
“Roger that.” Madoc nodded to Joey, then looked over at Heather and Gus. “Gotta go, Boss,” he called, relishing the slight headshake he got from Gus in return.
“So we heard,” Gus said, swinging Valerie up into a piggyback. “See you later, kids,” he called to the crowd. “Madoc and Heather have to go fish people outta the haahbah!”
Valerie burst out laughing at Gus’s exaggerated accent and they were all giggling as they jogged back to the truck.
“How about we go out for dinner tonight?” Madoc asked Gus. He’d liked Joey’s idea of dinner on the water and, with the shift away from days imminent, needed to pounce while he could. “My treat to thank you for everything.”
“That sounds fun.” Gus went to the driver’s side window so Valerie and Heather could exchange a final high five. “Just shoot us a message if you run into a delay so we know not to wait.”
Valerie patted Gus’s hair while Madoc zipped around the front of the truck to the passenger side. “Is delay the same thing as late?” she asked.
“Yes, it is,” Madoc called back, “but I won’t be either.”
Heather let out a lusty sigh. “I can’t believe you said that.” She aimed a droll look out the window at Gus. “Expect your date to be one-hundred-percent delayed, Dawson, ’cause your boy’s jinxed us for sure.”
Gus sauntered off with Valerie still on his back, but Madoc stared hard at Heather as he strapped himself in. “Dude, that wasn’t cool.”
Heather raised her eyebrows at him. “What did I do?”
“Said Gus and I had a date. I don’t want Valerie getting any ideas, especially since she doesn’t even know?—”
“Oh, relax, straight boy.” There was scorn in Heather’s eye roll. “I doubt your kid even clocked my mistake.”
Madoc ground his teeth as they pulled away from the curb. He didn’t bother correcting Heather about Valerie clocking everything, including jokey throwaway comments. But he did feel a powerful urge to tell her she’d made a mistake when she’d called him a straight boy.
It’s not right that she doesn’t know about me. That Val doesn’t know Gus and I are more than friends.
Madoc was still wrestling with his thoughts that evening as he sat with Gus and Valerie in a BBQ Shack located not far from Madoc’s building. Because the night felt like a date but also like something more established and real.
Dusk had fallen and they were seated beside a glass door that opened onto a patio and gave them a stunning view of the Inner Harbor that even a romantically backward guy like Madoc could appreciate. Despite not being ready to add romance or a relationship to his already complicated life.
A relationship with Gus, who smiled at Valerie when she slid down from her seat and walked around the table to him, fingers and answering grin sticky with barbecue sauce. Without asking, she picked a deep-fried pickle off Gus’s plate and bit into it before Madoc could warn her.
“Oh, no.” Valerie made a horrible face, eyes crossed and tongue protruding, clearly hating life. “I think these are poison,” she said very seriously. “ Or made from toads.”
Amusement shone in Gus’s face though he kept it straight. “It’s a pickle, hon, not poison or toad,” he replied. “I’m glad you tried it too, because now we know you don’t like deep fried pickles.”
A corner of Madoc’s heart ached watching them. Noelene had always had a hard time dealing with Valerie in restaurants. She’d hated the inevitable mess and Valerie needing help with her food, and she’d had no patience at all when Valerie wanted to be part of the conversation, effectively making adult conversation impossible.
Gus rolled with it all. Answered the weird and wild questions and wiped saucy fingers without complaint, easily fielding requests to style Valerie’s hair into a faux mohawk and to help her with a drawing project she wanted to share with her friends before summer vacation.
He’s okay with the chaos and mess.
“Can we take some cake home, Daddy?” Valerie looked at Madoc over the table. “My bum is tired of these chairs and I wanna build a blanket fort with you n’ the Gusberry.” She grinned at him. “I like this date!”
And ugh, there it was.
Gus just tweaked one of Valerie’s braids. “This isn’t a date, Bug,” he said. “This is adventure time for three!”
They built the fort back at Madoc’s, stretching the quilt from his bed over the backs of the dining chairs to form the roof while his bed pillows and the couch cushions became the floor. Madoc cut slices of Ooey Gooey Butter Cake that they ate while watching Val’s show, and when her bedtime rolled around, he assumed Gus would disassemble the fort. But Gus was still in the thing when Madoc slipped out of Valerie’s room, his bare left foot sticking out of the fort’s opening and his prosthesis under the coffee table while he watched that evening’s Red Sox game.
“I live here now,” Gus said cheerily when Madoc peered in at him. “I can pay rent in bolos .”
Snorting, Madoc crawled back in beside him. “Sounds fair. I’m sure Val would also accept payments in cake.”
“Mmm. Cake should be its own food group. As should pizza and cheese.”
“Please do not repeat such things to my daughter.”
Settling onto his back, Madoc studied the fort’s ceiling. “Forts are usually her thing with Tarek,” he mused. “They have a whole setup in the loft with this cool parachute thing that hangs from a hook in a ceiling beam.”
“Maybe that’s why she wanted to build one down here,” Gus said. “So she could share it with you.”
“Maybe.” Madoc turned his head and met Gus’s gaze. “I told Kenny Baker’s dad about Noelene leaving.”
Gus muted the TV, then rolled onto his side so he faced Madoc. “How did that go?”
“Fine. I didn’t want Joey assuming she and I were together anymore.”
You let Joey and everyone else assume Gus is only your partner on the truck.
Madoc looked back at the quilt overhead. Gus had never once given him shit for clinging to his straight guy act. But meeting Gus’s parents during Pride—seeing how close and loving the Dawsons were with each other—had started Madoc wondering if it weighed on Gus having to play along. The same way putting on a fake happy family face while his marriage had been imploding had weighed on Madoc.
“I don’t want to pretend everything’s cool with Noelene anymore,” he said quietly. “So, I told Joey I’ve been taking care of Val on my own with your help. Not about me being bi, though.” Madoc bit his lip. “I wasn’t ready.”
Gus slid their fingers together. “You’ll get there, Mad. No timetable, no deadlines, remember?”
Madoc wanted to believe Gus was right about him. But he knew his voice would break if he spoke, so he shut his eyes and hung on to Gus’s hand, and for the moment that was enough.
When Madoc opened his eyes next, he knew instinctively it was late in the night. He was lying on his side and the TV was dark because it had shut itself off. The lights still burning beyond the blanket fort lent enough light for Madoc to see Gus beside him, however, eyelashes like dark smudges against his skin and that plush mouth slightly parted in sleep.
Gus’s hand was still linked with Madoc’s, and for a few drowsy seconds, all Madoc wanted was to tug Gus closer and wake him with kisses. But a soft sound by Madoc’s feet drew his attention and he went from sleepy to fully alert in a heartbeat.
Letting go of Gus’s hand, he levered himself up and held an arm out to Valerie as she crawled into the fort. She scooted into his lap without hesitating, her eyelids heavy, and Madoc knew she wasn’t entirely awake.
“Why are you up?” Madoc asked her. “Did you have a bad dream?”
Valerie leaned into Madoc’s shoulder. “Jus’ wanted to see you and Gus,” she murmured, already slipping back into sleep.
Madoc pressed his lips against Valerie’s soft hair, breathing in traces of her raspberry-scented shampoo as he focused on calming the wild beating of his own heart. She hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary when she’d crawled into the fort—Madoc and Gus had merely been sleeping. Madoc couldn’t help feeling he’d dodged a bullet though, because even if Valerie didn’t recall these moments after waking up, he would with absolute clarity.
Aware of Gus stirring, Madoc bit his lip. He didn’t know what to say to his friend. Hardly knew what he was feeling himself. But he didn’t like the distant look he caught on Gus’s face as Gus drew his prosthesis back on.
It’s not right that Val doesn’t know about us.
Standing, Gus peeled aside the fort’s roof and helped Madoc up, remaining silent while Madoc carried Valerie back to her room. He appeared ready to leave by the time Madoc returned a few minutes later, shoes on as he disassembled the fort, every line of his body telegraphing his readiness to collect his cat and head out the door.
Madoc recognized the pulse of panic in his gut as ridiculous—it was already Saturday and Gus would be back in a few hours to kid-sit. Madoc didn’t want Gus to go, though. Not before he could tell him … what?
That he was addicted to the way Gus made him feel? To the time they spent together?
That sounded too serious in Madoc’s head when he and Gus were just supposed to be having fun.
So, he said nothing and instead went to Gus and kissed him. Sighed when Gus responded hungrily, his hold on Madoc exactly right.
They went to the bedroom, undressing each other between kisses, and Madoc sat by the head of the mattress while Gus removed his prosthesis for a second time that evening.
Madoc didn’t think he’d ever tire of watching him. Gus’s lean muscles flexing with each movement. Erect cock bobbing slightly and all that glorious golden-fair skin that was Madoc’s to touch.
Setting a hand on Gus’s hip, he ran it down over the meat of Gus’s thigh, cock twitching at Gus’s low hum. Gus pulled the lube from the nightstand drawer, and heat flooded through Madoc as Gus climbed astride him with a few fluid movements. Gus was so hard against Madoc’s belly, and his soft noise of pleasure when he kissed Madoc had Madoc’s balls throbbing.
Pulling back slightly, Madoc brought a hand to Gus’s cheek. Fire lit Gus’s gaze but it was his expression—so tender and fond—that had Madoc’s heart thumping hard.
“Need you,” Madoc said, his breath catching when Gus angled his head so his lips met the heel of Madoc’s hand.
“I’m here,” Gus murmured, pressing more kisses along the palm and base of Madoc’s thumb. He rocked his hips into Madoc’s, rutting slow and so sexy, bliss on his face as he took Madoc’s thumb into his mouth.
Lust seared through Madoc. Groaning, he held Gus more tightly, kissing along Gus’s throat and desperate to get closer. When the need to feel Gus’s mouth on his own overwhelmed him, Madoc carefully pulled his thumb free, then drew Gus into a scorching kiss that turned his bones to liquid.
Gus eased Madoc backward, shifting his weight so he could hold Madoc down. He kept up the slow grind, his movements driving Madoc wild without getting him off, until finally Gus sat up, his cheeks and neck flushed pink.
Smiling a little, Gus leaned back and plucked the lube up from the nightstand. “Gonna blow you,” he said. “Been thinking about it all day and I’m not leaving here ’til you come.”
Again, the idea of Gus leaving hit Madoc strangely. Maybe because Gus had slept next to Madoc almost every night since Pride.
Quickly, Madoc levered himself up and slipped his arms around Gus’s neck. “What about you?” he asked, dropping a kiss against Gus’s throat. “Want you to feel good too.”
“I will.” Gus angled his head to give Madoc more access. “I love sucking you. But if you want to jack me at the same time, I won’t complain.”
Madoc nearly growled. Gus blowing him was one of Madoc’s favorite things they did together. But he was just as much into the prospect of making Gus squirm.
They kissed some more and wet their fingers with lube, eventually winding up in the middle of the bed, Gus straddling Madoc’s waist with his face aimed toward Madoc’s feet. And Madoc couldn’t get enough of touching Gus, running his hands over Gus’s back and ass, his heart thumping at the sly smile Gus flashed over his shoulder.
Gus leaned forward and took hold of Madoc’s hips, rolling Madoc right until they were both on their sides. He tucked his arm under Madoc’s bottom leg and drew Madoc closer so he could rest his head on Madoc’s thigh, and Madoc spread his knees wide on reflex to give Gus some room. He mirrored Gus’s actions, heat zinging under his skin as the movements put Gus’s dick mere inches from Madoc’s face. Gus’s cockhead was purple and shiny with pre-cum, and Madoc’s mouth actually watered with sudden awareness.
I want that.
Gus took Madoc in hand, and the crazy-good heat Madoc craved followed a second later when Gus took Madoc’s cock between his lips. Madoc gasped, desire rattling up his spine, and bucked his hips helplessly, but Gus was ready for him and groaned through his sucking.
Moving on pure instinct, Madoc took hold of Gus’s dick in one hand, then leaned in and pressed his face against Gus’s groin. He breathed in soap and musk, and he dropped kisses along Gus’s skin, slowly moving lower, exploring as he jacked Gus. When Madoc finally set his mouth on the tip of Gus’s dick, Gus made a desperate sound above him.
Emboldened, Madoc pushed his tongue out and licked, gasping as bitter salt exploded across his tastebuds. Gus moaned again and Madoc licked a second time and then a third, so tantalized by the contrast of heat and velvet he didn’t hesitate to open his mouth around Gus’s cockhead.
A feedback loop of pleasure unfurled between them, invading Madoc’s senses. His dick in Gus’s mouth, the taste of Gus in his own. Gus’s skin searing against Madoc’s, his thigh muscles trembling, Madoc’s arousal so potent he felt like he was floating.
He wasn’t brave enough to take Gus very deep, but Gus’s steady groans were the best kind of encouragement. Gus fondled Madoc’s balls, rubbing warmth into the delicate skin, then slid his fingers along the cleft of Madoc’s ass. Madoc tensed, his body on guard at the strangeness, but it fell away as Gus traced Madoc’s rim with his fingertips.
Balls throbbing, Madoc moaned and thrust harder into Gus’s throat, chasing his release as incredible sensation flooded through him.
He’d never felt anything like this with a partner.
Enraptured. Connected. Complete.
And then Gus pressed his fingers lightly across Madoc’s hole and Madoc was losing it in huge shudders, his body screaming as he came and came and came.
Head spinning, he had to pull off Gus’s dick just so he could breathe. He buried his face against Gus’s thighs, holding on for dear life while Gus drank him down and when Gus let Madoc’s softening cock fall from his mouth, Madoc reached down and took hold of Gus’s shoulder, clumsily hauling him back up the bed.
New fire thrilled through Madoc at the taste of himself on Gus’s tongue and as he reached for Gus’s cock, he pushed away the realities that awaited them. Work and childcare, Noelene still gone and Tarek out of reach, Madoc no wiser about how things would play out after Gus started back on full duty.
For the moment, it was okay not to know anything and simply be here with Gus.