Chapter 15
Fifteen
Riley
While Gareth is sound asleep, I slip out of the house and I’m stopped on the way to my car by my boss.
“Gabe. Hey, what are you doing here? Did you need me to return before next week after all?” Worry curls inside me, and now I’m wondering if I’ve taken advantage of his kindness.
“No, no. We know you’re still adjusting, and I did tell you to take more time if you needed to.” His eyes dart to a container in his hands. “Vincent baked these and he thought it’d be a good idea for me to bring them over. We feel really bad we missed the funeral. Me especially.”
“Please. There’s no need to feel bad. Your mom was sick and she needed you.”
“Vincent’s mom actually, and his brother said it was our turn since he went to be by her side with his wife last time she was in the hospital.”
“Still. You were needed elsewhere. I understood that and Gareth would have too.”
“I know but I wanted to come by to make amends anyway, with homemade baked goods.”
I smile softly. “I accept your offering.” I take the container. “And I’ll return this Monday when I come back to work.”
“You not coming to the party after all? Not that I wouldn’t understand if you didn’t.”
“I’m not sure.” My lips turn downward. “I’m going to try, though.
“I’m supposed to meet with Gareth’s brother to go through some of his things.
” Yeah, I’m lying to everyone I know now.
Will it ever stop? It won’t if I plan on continuing to protect my big secret.
Having Gareth back has come with a lot of consequences, but I think I’ve already been through the worse of them.
“If you can’t, you can’t, but we’ll miss seeing you.”
“I’ll miss you all too. I’ll let you know if I end up being able to make it after all.”
“Nah. Just show up and bring a bottle of liquor or a case of beer with you,” he says with his lips turning up in a smirk.
“Will do.” I lean forward to wrap him in a hug and his arms swing around my back.
“It’s good seeing you out and about.”
“I’m only heading out to grab my meds.”
“Hey, that’s a major hurdle in my book.” He breaks the embrace first, looking down at me.
“Yeah . . . it’s better than when I wasn’t taking them at all.”
“I hope things keep looking up for you. We’re always here when you need us.”
“Thanks.” I lift the container between us. “And thanks for these.”
“Take care, and maybe we’ll see you sooner than Monday.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say, sounding more chipper than before.
He hugs me again, and this time it’s longer, before he gets in his car. I don’t get into mine until he drives away, and I’m backing up when my neighbor has me hitting the brakes by jumping behind me.
“Your trashcan’s on my side again, and they better not be real candles in those pumpkins.”
I grit my teeth, roll down my window, and shout, “They aren’t, and I’ll move the trashcan when I get back.”
“Or you can do it now.” He slams a hand down on my trunk.
“Please keep your hands off my car, Mr. Mendez.”
“Only when you keep what’s yours on your side.”
Shifting the gear into park, I jump out of the car and stomp to where he’s pointing. I bring the trashcan over by two inches and then lift my hands in front of me. “There. Can I leave my house now?”
Stepping out of the way, he waves his hands to the side. “Go on, then.”
I get back in my car and pull all the way out of the driveway in one sweep once he’s back in his yard.
I really can’t stand that asshole. It’s no wonder he never has any visitors other than his twin sister, who seems just as awful as he is.
I drive faster after passing his house and go to where I told Gareth I wouldn’t.
To the cemetery where he’s supposed to be buried.
When I arrive, I think I’m the only one in the whole place, until I see someone in a blue hoodie hunched over in front of Gareth’s gravestone, leaving yellow flowers. I’m marching over, ready to give who I assume is Arkansas a piece of mind, and then I stop dead in my tracks when Leo turns around.
His face goes two shades lighter and then he peels back his hood. “Oh, hey. I wasn’t expecting to see you here today. If I’d known you were coming, I would have suggested we come together.”
“What are you doing here?” I sound accusatory without meaning to. Or maybe I do mean it. I’m not sure with all the mixed emotions burning a hole inside my heart
“I wanted to come visit. I noticed some assholes were stealing his flowers when I came to visit my sister and thought I’d bring him some new ones.”
“Oh.” I retract my claws, my body growing less tense. “That’s nice of you.”
“It’s the least I can do. I didn’t really . . . I feel like I could have gotten to know him more. For your sake.”
“It’s okay. You’re my friend, not his.”
“Exactly. I’m your friend, and I barely paid attention to the guy whenever he was around.”
“You paid attention to him just fine,” I sputter.
“I could have been better.”
“We all can be.” I reach out to squeeze his arm. “Thank you for doing this. I haven’t even been here since we buried him.” What can I say, I’m a master liar at this point.
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters. It took me a while to come here too after I lost Sarah.” He looks off into the distance, his eyes clouding.
“Yeah. I think it takes everyone a while, and like you said, it doesn’t matter when we come, only that we eventually get here.”
“Exactly.” His eyes travel back to mine, his face hardening. “Want me to stay a little longer with you?”
I shake my head. “No. This is something I have to do alone.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t fight me on it and gives me a side hug, smacking a big kiss on my cheek.
I push him away, laughing. “Hey, save some for Glen.”
He laughs with me. “You know I love you, right?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“Good.” His features shift. “I hope you always remember that, no matter what.” He pats my shoulder and then leaves for the parking lot. I watch him, wondering if that was his way of trying to tell me something.
Sighing, I walk steadily toward Gareth’s headstone and drop to my knees.
I study the teddy bear first and then lift the snow globe, my head feeling like it’s being soaked like the snow inside.
It’s engraved like the other one. Same song, different lyrics.
It was a gift from Arkansas. Gareth wasn’t going to give him that bag.
He was given it and put it away. Kept it hidden. Something he never did with me.
I stroke the glass and then look at the wilting pink roses.
They have a red ribbon tied around them—exactly like the ones Leo just left.
No. It can’t be. Leo stayed with me when Gareth travelled there the first time.
Was he home the second and third? I can’t remember.
No. Leo wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t do that to Glen.
My heart races so fast a dizzy spell comes over me.
I fall lower to the ground, looking harder at the snow globe.
“I told you to forget about all this.” A voice comes from behind me and my brows jump toward my hairline.
“Gareth—”
“No need to say anything, baby. Just get up and come home with me. We’ll trash that stupid snow globe like we did the other one. The flowers and bear too.”
“Was it Leo?”
Confusion washes over his eyes. “Was what Leo?”
“The man you considered leaving me for.”
“I was never going to leave you. I lost my way for a short while, that’s it. It was stupid but . . . there’s a reason it happened, and I wish I could remember what led me down that path to begin with.”
“You grew tired of me?” My voice is strained.
His features stiffen. “What?” He drops to the ground in front of me, grabbing at my shoulders. “That’s impossible. I can’t get enough of you, so how could I have reached the point of being tired of you?”
“That’s now. You can’t even remember everything you felt before.”
“I can. I just can’t make sense of it all. It’s like having all the pieces but none of them quite fitting together due to having damaged corners.”
My eyes ring with tears, and I push him away. “I want to be alone here.”
“I’m not leaving you alone. Not when you’ve got everything wrong and plan to torture yourself with it for no reason.” He reaches for me again and I slam my fists into his chest.
“Why’d you have to write him back so many times? Why did you meet up? Why—” Bile threatens to crawl up my throat. “Why did you say you didn’t know when he asked if you loved him?”
“That I can answer. I know it’s strange, and I might not remember him, but I can recall certain moments when they’re brought up.
I could tell he was hurting and didn’t want to make it worse.
He wasn’t doing well emotionally. He wanted to hurt himself.
I was at a loss, but ‘no’ was the first thing that came to my mind.
I promise.” His eyes are so sincere, it’s hard not to want to lean into them, so I do, giving in when he wraps his arms around me.
“I love you, Riley. I love you. I choose you. I came back to you and would have no matter who cast the spell.”
Like all the other times, I want to believe him, and because it hurts so much not to, I let myself.
And it’s like I set myself free when I do.
He’s right about Arkansas being better off forgotten.
He’s not the one in Gareth’s arms right now.
He’s not the one being carried to the car and having him reach for his hand as soon as we’re strapped in.
He drives us home and lifts me up when we get there, not caring who’s watching.
Growing careless from not wanting to leave his arms anytime soon, I let myself not care either.