Chapter 16
Sixteen
Gareth
I think I know who he is. Since I’m not a hundred percent sure, I don’t share my thoughts with Riley.
What if I’m wrong and I ruin one of his friendships.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I tore him away from the wrong person.
I really am growing soft . . . or perhaps more human.
I don’t tell Riley I ate the neighbor either.
He came into our back yard while Riley was sleeping yesterday, using his sheers to trim our overgrown bushes that were coming through his fence.
He pointed the sharp tool at me and that’s all it took for me to charge forward.
No one has come looking for him, but they will.
It’s why I’m headed over there now to light a few candles and leave them in a hazardous place.
I laugh as I use poorly made ones where the wax was poured into a non-heat-safe container.
I laugh louder when the flames are too high and way too close to cleaning products. I don’t worry about DNA being left behind because I’m not sure I have any anymore, and if I do, surely it’d show it came from a dead man. They aren’t going to lock up a dead man.
I go to where I left the body after I ripped out several of his organs and ate most of his brain.
The brain was my favorite part. It made me remember more and also apparently has the most nutrients.
My skin stopped peeling within seconds. I’m able to stand my reflection again and Riley is no longer looking at me with worry when he does.
He’s been smiling again after our talk in the cemetery.
We went home, made love—yes, actual love.
It was gentle and I treated him like the most precious thing in the world.
Yeah, I’m definitely changing. Both sides of me.
When you want something bad enough you learn to be what it needs.
You learn to try without having to try too hard.
I love him. Every fucking fiber of my being does, and I need him more than the air I breathe. He’s my air. He’s the life that fuels me. Those smiles show me how to feel. His kisses show me how to be affectionate. And he shows me that as long as we have each other, we don’t need anything else.
Grabbing a lighter and gasoline-soaked rag from my back pocket, I light the end.
The flame grows and I toss it on Mr. Mendez, watching him slowly burn.
Once the flames are rolling up and down the front of his body, I leave the way I came in, shutting the door like I was never there with my sleeve covering my hand.
“What did you do?” Riley says as I hop the fence back into our yard.
“What had to be done. He was a problem.”
“His house is also on fire and next to ours,” he bellows.
“It gives us more of a reason to start over. You can keep in touch with your friends from another city.” I lift his hands in mine.
“I knew you were looking better. You . . . you’re talking differently too. Yesterday you were going to bite me too much and stopped yourself.”
“Riley, let’s go inside and we can talk more there.”
“Inside?” His hands pull away from mine. “Are you insane? Our house might be on fire soon.”
“Yes, so we should hurry up and pack what we can.” I yank at his arm and he tugs it away from me.
“Right when I think I can do this, you do something that has me questioning everything again.” He turns away from me, wiping at his face, and the feeling inside my chest is suffocating.
“Our neighbor, Gareth. Our damn neighbor.” He lowers his face, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“No one will miss him.”
“His sister will. Cops will ask questions. They’ll come to my door. I’m surprised they haven’t yet.”
“Our door,” I say.
“No, mine. You’re dead, remember? In everyone else’s mind there’s only me.” His eyes swell and he shakes his head again.
“I’m sorry. I want to be right for you. Show me.”
“That’s the thing . . . I shouldn’t have to. The human Gareth—”
“Was thinking about going away with someone else. Not just meeting him there but sharing a hotel room with him.”
“He never—” His words stop mid-sentence, his lips twisting.
“No. We never did anything beyond talking and having dinner. There were no goodbye kisses, and if one of us wanted it, it was only him.”
“You’re not lying to me?” His eyes glow the closer the fire gets to us.
“No.”
“You kept things from me before.”
“Yeah, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I guess I didn’t realize it was bad until . . . until it started to cross the line.”
“You remember everything now?”
“No. But I’m getting there. Two or three more brains and I—”
“Oh my god. Listen to yourself. Brains. I can’t do this anymore.” He scratches at his head, spinning in circles. “I can’t. I can’t.”
“How many times are you going to say that to yourself before you realize you’ll never truly mean it.”
There are shouting voices in the front yard, sirens roaring, and I usher Leo into the house before tugging him out the front door. We appear to be in shock when glancing over at the fire, and I wrap my arms around him, taking us to the sidewalk.
“You two know what happened?” a man in a police uniform asks.
“No,” I say firmly. “We were in the shower, and when we got out, we saw the fire from our bathroom window.”
The cop nods. “I’ll need you two to stand back further until we can put the fire out. I don’t recommend going back to your house for anything right now. Are there any other people inside?”
I shake my head. “No. Only us.”
“Good. What about your neighbor? Is it only the older gentleman?”
“Yes,” Riley answers first. “Mr. Mendez lived alone.”
“That’s all the questions we have for now. I’ll come find you two again if I have any more.”
“Sounds good,” we say in unison and Riley leans back against me.
“I’m sorry,” he says in hushed tones, tears gathering in his eyes.
“I know, sweetheart. Me too. I’m sorry I can’t be perfect for you while alive or dead. I’ll try. I’ll keep trying.”
Letting out a deep breath, he nods. “I know. I’ll try too. I’ll try to understand what you need now and not wait too long again before helping you get it.”
I kiss his cheek, and we watch as the fire slowly dies down from all the trucks hosing it down at the same time.
It doesn’t reach our house. Some smoke damage sticks to our fence, but that’s the most we experience on our side, aside from the awkward silence that stays between us until it’s time for Riley to get ready for his party.
They found the candles and are already ruling it as an accident.
No one’s questioning it, and his sister doesn’t care enough to order an autopsy. I guess she hated him too.
“You sure you want to go out after everything that’s happened?” I hear his friend Leo ask in the living room.
“I’m sure. I need to get out of this house. I don’t want to smell that smoke smell any longer than I have to.”
“You’ll stay with Glen and me then.”
“No. I don’t want to put you two out.”
“You won’t,” Leo reassures him. “We can always decide later.”
“Yeah. That’s probably the better choice.”
They don’t talk anymore, and Riley doesn’t come into the bedroom to tell me goodbye.
I send him a text, telling him if he needs me there, I’ll find a way.
He doesn’t respond. My stomach sours. Things were so much easier when I was too numb to experience any emotions.
It’s because of him that I feel so fucking much, and now he’s acting like he feels nothing.