Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
J ACK
“Teddy, pick up the damn phone, man. I’m worried about you,” I say into his voicemail.
I’ve tried to call him at least six times while I drive around to any of the places I think he might be. He’s at none of them, and I can’t get him to answer my texts or calls.
Desperate, I text Annie and ask her if Sadie is working today. She is.
I call Annie. “Babe, I can’t explain why, but I need to talk to her now. It’s an emergency.” I don’t want to worry her so I try to control the shaking in my voice.
“Okay. I’m walking to get her now. But are you okay, Jack? You’re scaring me a little,” she says.
“I can’t say right now. Please just trust me, Annie.”
A few moments later, there’s a tentative, “Um… hello?” as Sadie takes the phone.
“Sadie, this is Jack Donley, Teddy’s friend,” I say.
“Okaaay,” she says. “I’m not sure why you’re calling me about him, I don’t?—”
“Cut it out. Now. I know everything. Teddy’s missing and I need to know if he was with you last night or if you know where he might be.” My tone is harsh but I don’t give a shit how it might make her feel.
“He wasn’t with me. Is he okay?” She sounds nervous now.
“I don’t know if he’s okay, because I can’t fucking find him. Tell me where you guys would go,” I demand.
“What? I don’t know what you mean?—”
“I’m going to be very clear with you. Tell me where you and my married friend went to have sex, because I know you did. And his wife is divorcing him over it and I’m worried he’s going to hurt himself. You don’t know him or his past. The longer you refuse to tell me the truth, the longer it takes for me to find him and make sure he’s safe. Is that clear enough for you?” I practically yell into the phone.
She hesitates for a moment. “The Maple Grove Motel over on?—”
Before she can finish, I hang up the phone and make a U-turn to head toward the cheap roadside motel in search of my friend.
I have Siri shoot Ben a text as I drive:
Me: Please meet me at the Maple Grove. It’s Teddy. I think he’s in real trouble.
Ten minutes later, I pull into the motel parking lot and see Teddy’s truck across the parking lot.
My stomach drops, bile filling my throat. I slam my truck into park next to Teddy’s and jump out. I pound on the door closest to where he’s parked, yelling his name. The curtains are drawn so I can’t see anything through the window. I head back to the door and use my shoulder to attempt to force it open.
I only stop when, a few minutes later, I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Ben with an old man holding a keyring standing next to him.
“He’s got the keys, Jacky. Back up and let him open it. If Teddy’s in there, it’s the fastest way to get to him.”
I let him guide me back a few steps. The old man wiggles the key in the lock before he turns it and opens the door.
“Oh, shit…” he whispers and backs up.
I push past him and see my friend.
My best friend since eighth grade is lying on the floor with pill bottles and an empty fifth of vodka next to him. He’s not breathing and his skin is a sickly gray.
“No,” I whisper. “No, Teddy. No…” I rush over to him and shake him to see if he’ll respond.
He doesn’t. I check for a pulse and find none.
On instinct, I do the only thing I can and start CPR on him.
Somewhere in the background, I hear Ben calling 911. A few minutes later, sirens scream through the air and then, sometime later—how long I’m not sure because my sense of time is currently warped—the room fills with bodies.
I hear people calling my name, my brother trying to pull me back so my coworkers—Teddy’s coworkers—can try to help save him.
“No!” I yell. “He needs me. I’m not stopping! C’mon, buddy, wake up for me,” I pant as I continue pounding on his chest.
It’s not until a few seconds later, when Fitz’s voice breaks through the others with his hand on my shoulder, that I can calm down.
“C’mon, Jack. Let us work. You’ve been doing compressions too long, and he needs fresh arms.”
I stare up at him for a few seconds and then let Ben pull me back and make room for the C shift crew to work on Teddy.
ANNIE
I pick up the squad phone when it rings. “First City ER, this is Annie. Go ahead.”
“Annie, it’s Fitz, from Station Three. We are bringing in a twenty-nine-year-old full arrest, appears to be a multi-drug overdose and alcohol ingestion. It’s… it’s Teddy,” he says, soberly.
“I’m sorry. What did you say?” I ask, sure I’ve heard him wrong.
“It’s Teddy. It’s not good. Jack is here. He’s not doing well. He… he found him. And get Sadie out of the ER; she can’t be there when we arrive. I’ll explain later. We’re five minutes out.”
I hang up the phone, shocked for a few seconds before the ER nurse in me kicks in. I call our Nurse Manager on the phone, give her a quick update and tell her I’m sending Sadie back to her and ask her to get Sadie out of the department.
Sadie’s confused as to why she must go see our manager, but I don’t have time to coddle her right now.
I grab our ER doctor and several nurses, as well as our paramedic, and give everyone a brief update. We head into Room One. Still hoping this is all a misunderstanding, we wait in silence.
Several minutes later, the sirens wail through the stale air as the squad pulls into the ambulance bay. I stand in the doorway of Room One and wait for them. There’s an eerie quiet as they wheel the cot in with Teddy on it. Fitz is on top of the cart next to Teddy’s body, trying to pump life into his chest.
The only sound is the intermittent whooshing noise as a paramedic at Teddy’s head pushes air into the breathing tube coming out of Teddy’s mouth, trying to deliver oxygen to his lungs.
My heart drops when I see Jack, followed closely by Ben, racing into the ER behind them. Fear and panic are written all over Jack’s beautiful face. He doesn’t even look at me, just watches the scene unfold, never taking his eyes off Teddy.
I wave the medics into Room One. Once we get Teddy moved over to our ER cot, controlled chaos erupts in the room.
We take over CPR, manually breathing for Teddy, and give him everything we’ve got to try to bring him back to us. The paramedics thought to bring the pill bottles from the scene, and we try to give medications to reverse the effects.
It doesn’t work.
Jack watches from the corner, squatting down and holding one hand over his forehead, the other gripping a fistful of his own hair. He rocks intermittently.
I’m so worried about him, but Ben is by his side and the best thing I can do for Jack right now is to help Teddy.
At some point, Emily arrives, Trina by her side, and they join Jack and Ben over in the corner. Emily looks absolutely stunned, blinking slowly, her facial expression flat. She stands unnaturally still.
We work on Teddy for thirty-seven minutes. We pump on his chest, artificially breathe for him, and shock his heart. Even when we push medications into his system to try to make his heart respond, nothing works. Combined with the twenty-five minutes the paramedics tried to bring him back before they arrived in the ER, Teddy has failed to respond to rescue efforts for over an hour.
We know he isn’t coming back.
“Stop CPR,” Dr. Evans instructs.
Jack stands.
Emily lets out a single heart-wrenching sob .
Dr. Evans and every nurse in the room looks up at the flat line trailing across the monitor screen over the head of Teddy’s bed.
“It’s time to call it. Time of death twelve forty-two p.m. May… may he rest in peace,” Dr. Evans says somberly.
We all stand stunned, no one able to speak. Several long seconds pass.
“No! You can’t stop. No!” Jack says, his voice starting out quiet but a near roar by the end.
He’s at Teddy’s side now.
“Jack…” I start, softly.
“No! Help him, please,” he yells. When we don’t move, he starts trying to do CPR on Teddy again. “C’mon, Ted. Me and Em are here. You have to come back to us. C’mon… Please.”
Ben tries to pull him off, but Jack elbows him away. He’s frantic, trying to manage CPR and breathing for Teddy all on his own.
The incessant dinging alarms of the heart monitor mixing with Jack’s panting are the only sounds filling the room. I reach up and turn the monitor off.
“Someone, help me save him. Please. Annie, help me, please…” he begs, looking up at me.
My heart breaks as tears stream down both of our faces.
“Jack… he’s… he’s not coming back. It’s time to let him rest now…” I whisper.
Jack ignores me and keeps alternating between pushing on Teddy’s chest and trying to force air into his lungs.
Fitz and Janie, thankfully, have cleared everyone else out of the room. It’s only Jack, Emily, Ben, Trina, and me.
It isn’t until Emily comes up to the bedside, next to Jack, and puts her hands around his wrist while he tries to do chest compressions that he seems to slow at all.
“Please stop. He’s gone…” she whispers.
“No, Em. No. He has to come back to us,” Jack says .
“Please, Jack.” Her pleading tone is devastating.
Jack slows, then stops. He stares at Teddy for several long seconds. What he does next is devastatingly sad.
He leans down and lifts Teddy’s upper body off the cot, pulling him to his chest. Jack openly weeps as he holds his best friend, staying like this for several long moments. The sounds of his sobbing fill the room.
“I’m sorry, Ted. I’m so sorry. I failed you. I didn’t see it in time to help. Please forgive me,” he whispers.
Emily puts her hand on Jack’s back, and he gently lowers Teddy to the cot, tenderly brushes Teddy’s hair back from his forehead, and turns to hold Emily.
“I’m so sorry, Em,” he mumbles into her hair as they stand together crying. “I’m so sor?—”
“It’s not your fault, Jack. You helped him so much for so long, but you were never going to be able to save him forever…” she answers gently.
I want to go to him, to hold him, but I sense that Emily and their shared grief is what he needs right now. So, I watch quietly from my position on the opposite side of the cot that holds Teddy’s body.
We give them a few minutes, then move everyone into the room we reserve for grieving families.
Janie and I return and tend to cleaning up our coworker, our friend, in silence.
It’s not much, but we hope it will bring Emily and Jack some peace when they come back in for prayers after the Elladine Fire Department chaplain arrives.