CHAPTER THREE #2
Amy glanced over at Will and smiled. "Well, it's kind of looking like I'm going to be staying here for the time being. I don't have a job to go back to anymore, so I'm just going to hang around and see what happens."
Lily was curious about the young woman who had captured Will's heart.
When she'd left, he'd still been struggling with his roles of widower and single father.
It was so good to see a smile back on his face and the way his eyes lit up when he looked at Amy.
Seeing her siblings in good relationships was going to have to be enough for her.
That first night after her diagnosis she'd spent hours reading everything she could find about MS, and it quickly became apparent to her that she was going to face this journey alone.
Nate had often spoken of the stress his father had been under being a caregiver for his wife during her illness while also trying to run a business and being there for his son.
Knowing that her condition would only get worse as the years went by, Lily had made the heartbreaking decision to spare Nate from having to care for her in the way his father had cared for his mother.
She couldn't stay around Collingsworth after ending things with him, and even as she sat there today, she knew it had been the right decision to leave.
Noise from the center aisle drew Lily's attention.
Before she could stop herself, she glanced to see what was going on.
A group of young people were laughing as they filed into a row near the front.
Her gaze moved to the row behind them, and her breath snagged when she saw Nate sitting at the far end of the pew.
His head was bent, but as if sensing her watching him, he looked up and his gaze swung in her direction.
When their gazes met, Lily realized that no matter how much she thought she'd moved past Nate Proctor, her heart cried out for him. Fearful of what he might read on her face, she gave him a small smile before turning back around to where Cami and Josh were taking their places on the stage.
Lily had thought she was over Nate. But all it had taken was one look, and she was back to where she'd been three years ago.
Part of the reason she'd felt ready to come back to Collingsworth was because she thought her heartbreak over Nate had finally healed.
Unfortunately, it appeared that was not the case, but it was too late now to do anything about it.
She was home, and she'd just have to pray that she was strong enough to be able to deal with him.
He had moved on, and now she needed to do that as well.
Thankfully Josh and Cami's concert got underway, and she found herself relaxing and enjoying their performance. Most of the songs were familiar. Some she recognized as new songs they'd written together. Even though she'd been away, she'd been sure to keep up with their album releases.
As the applause faded after one of their songs near what Lily assumed was the end of their concert, Josh stepped forward. Cami stayed behind him, mic held at her waist.
"One thing Cami and I have learned in our own lives and as we've spoken to people at our concerts is that we all face struggles.
So often we feel alone. We think that friends, family and even God have abandoned us to our pain.
I know that feeling. I've been there. Cami's been there.
And tonight I'm feeling there are some of you here that feel that way.
This song was one that often came to my mind during those times when I felt so low that I didn't think I could go any lower.
It's a reminder to each of us that we aren't alone. That Jesus does truly care."
As the music began, Lily closed her eyes and listened as Josh sang the opening to the song.
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long.
As Josh's voice faded away, Cami began to sing the next verse.
Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?
Together they sang,
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
Lily's heart clenched. That nameless dread and fear had plagued her so much during those first days in London when it was just her alone with her diagnosis.
And her daylight had faded into the deepest of night shades.
It had been at the darkest of those moments when she had cried for healing from the disease that had taken up residence in her body.
Does Jesus care when I've tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief there is no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?
There was a change in key and Josh sang,
Does Jesus care when I've said 'goodbye' to the dearest on earth to me.
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks, is it aught to him? Does He see?
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
The song was familiar to her as it had been on one of their earliest releases, and she'd played it many times.
Oh yes, He cares. It was one of the things that had gotten her through those early days.
Even though she hadn't opened the Bible and sought comfort there at the time, the words of the songs Josh and Cami sang had kept her from sinking completely into the darkness after her diagnosis.
Eventually, the Bible had become her place of solace, but it had been the music that had drawn her there.
Once the concert was over, people surged to the foyer to where Josh and Cami had gone as the pastor closed the evening in prayer.
Lily moved more slowly, trying to keep from looking in Nate's direction.
Sooner or later they were going to meet.
She just wasn't sure she wanted it to be in public with the whole church looking on.
There were probably very few people in the church that didn't know about their history.
Several people came up to her and welcomed her home as she made her way with Will and Amy to the foyer of the church. Lily had anticipated a period of awkwardness and curiosity as people wondered about her absence for the past few years.
"Lily!"
She turned in time to be tackled in a tight hug.
The site of familiar red curls had her returning the hug instantly.
Before she could say anything, the young woman pushed back from their embrace and held her at arm's length.
"I can't believe you're finally home. You're not allowed to leave ever again. "
Lily smiled. "Hi, Meggy. It's good to see you, too."
Meg's hands slid down to clasp hers, her brow furrowing. "I'm so glad you're home for good."
"I am, too. It was time."
Meg nodded. "I thought it might be after our last conversation." She pulled her close for a hug again. "I just can't tell you how wonderful it is to have you home. I've missed you so much."
"Come out to the manor for a visit," Lily said.
"I will. And if you need anything at all, let me know." Meg was the only person who had known about her diagnosis almost from the start. She had been a rock once she'd understood why Lily had fled Collingsworth.
As they stepped apart once more, Lily's gaze went past Meg to a man who stood just behind her friend, a patient look on his face. Meg must have realized where Lily's attention was because she quickly turned and reach out to take the man's hand.
"Lily, I'd like you to meet Andrew. Andrew, this is my best friend, Lily Collingsworth."
Lily shook the hand Andrew held out to her, curious about this man who had managed to capture Meg's somewhat flighty attention. She'd heard all about him during their phone calls, so it was nice to finally meet him.
They made small talk for a few minutes before Meg glanced at her boyfriend. "Well, I hate to run, but Andrew has an early morning tomorrow, so he needs to get home. He's my ride."
"I'm hoping my ride is ready to go soon, too," Lily said.
After Meg and Andrew had left, Lily looked around for Will and Amy.
She spotted them standing at the product table and knew they wouldn't be leaving for a little while yet.
The crowd of people was starting to close in on her, and she knew that if she was going to have to wait around, she'd rather do it outside.
She took a deep breath as she stepped into the warm night air. Since it was just after nine, the sun had already begun to set, leaving behind a darkening twilight sky. Lily moved off to the side and sank down onto the stone bench there. She pulled out her phone and opened up her social media app.
"Hello, Lily."
A rush of warmth moved through her. It had been three years since she’d last heard his voice, though he had rarely called her that. Usually it had been Lily-belle or baby. But those days were gone. From now on, it would only and forever be Lily.