CHAPTER EIGHT
"Hey, Nate," Cami said as she looked up from the pot she was stirring on the stove. "Hungry?"
"Well, whatever you're cooking is making my stomach rumble." He wandered over to the counter and settled on one of the stools there. "Will around?"
"Yep. He's upstairs checking in on Jessa. Should be back in a few minutes." Cami set the spoon down and covered the pot. "How was your day?"
"I got my hands dirty, and someone else is dealing with the paperwork, so all in all, one of the better days I've had recently."
A smile flashed across Cami's face. "I'm happy to hear that. You deserve a good day after all you've been through."
"Hope I have more than one, but I still have lots to figure out with regards to my house and the garage in Sanford." Nate saw Cami's gaze go past him about the time he felt a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up, not surprised to see Will standing beside him. "Hey, man."
Will sat down on the stool next to him. "How's it going?"
As he repeated the conversation he'd just had with Cami, she busied herself making a salad.
"Have you decided yet if you're going to rebuild or not?"
Nate shrugged. "Part of me says no. Expanding was what my dad wanted. I'm content with just the one garage." He traced a pattern on the smooth counter-top. "I think it's time for me to leave room in my life for some...other things."
Will's eyebrows rose. "Things going that well with you and Crystal?"
Nate looked down at his hands. "No. She broke up with me on Sunday."
"Sunday?"
Nate lifted his head in time to see Will and Cami exchange a look. "Yep. Apparently she'd decided at some point that if she didn't feel I was fully committed to her by the time Lily came back, she would end things."
"Sorry to hear that."
"It's given me something to think about.
I was so busy with the garages that I never really gave my relationship with Crystal much of a go.
She did most the work arranging times for us to be together and such.
Can't really blame her for not feeling like I was fully committed.
Any other relationship I might have will be no different if I'm still tied up with both garages. "
"Sounds like this might be an opportunity for you to change things so they're less stressful and demanding on you."
"Yes, but then I think of the guys over there who were working for me.
They were good guys, and I'd like to give them their jobs back, but chances are they won't wait for me to rebuild.
They can't. Several of them have families to support.
So that would mean having to train a whole new staff.
" He shook his head. "I'm not sure I'm up to that. "
"I don't envy you the decisions, but will certainly pray that God will give you wisdom."
Nate nodded though he wasn't really happy with God right then. "Will have to decide sometime in the next week or so."
He heard the front door open and glanced over his shoulder to see Lance walk into the kitchen. He'd barely had time to greet them when the door opened again. This time the arrival was much more raucous as Josh and Amy ushered several children into the kitchen.
"Whoa. Rowdy crowd," Lance said as he gave his daughter a hug. "I think I'm going to go check on Jessa."
"Chicken," Cami called out after him as Josh wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close for a kiss.
Amy came to stand next to Will where he sat and draped an arm around his shoulders. "That. Was. Nuts."
Will slid an arm around her as she leaned into him. "I did wonder what you and Josh were thinking."
"I can handle a class of fifteen or so students, but man, these kids ran us ragged."
"Where are Violet and Laurel?" Josh asked. "They said they'd pick up the kids here."
"I'm sure they're enjoying the peace and quiet in their houses," Will said with a grin. "They'll probably arrive at the last possible moment."
Nate had always found the sibling interaction of the Collingsworth family interesting.
Given that he was an only child, he'd had no experience with brothers or sisters.
He could tell that the relationships had grown and deepened over the years.
He still had a clear memory of the night he'd gone into the bar to try and get Cami to come back to the manor.
She'd certainly changed since that encounter.
"Hey, Lily."
Nate fought the urge to turn around when he heard Amy call out. He heard the kids greeting her and then she was standing on the other side of the counter.
Trying to keep his expression neutral, he said, "Done for the day?"
"Yes. Made a good dent in it."
She turned to Cami and said something that he couldn't hear. Since she stood between him and Cami, he didn't know what her response was, but right away Lily turned and walked slowly from the kitchen.
He looked at Cami. "Is she okay?"
Once again, he saw her exchange looks with Will and then Josh. "She's alright. She's just going to rest for a bit before supper."
Rest? That didn't sound like the Lily he knew. She'd always been full of energy, raring to go. He couldn't recall if she'd ever told him she needed to rest during the day. "What's wrong with her?"
Amy moved away from Will. "Hey, kids, why don't we go out back?"
Nate watched as Amy herded the kids out the back door. A pit formed in his stomach. Something was wrong with her. He could feel it. He looked at Cami and then at Will. "What's wrong with her?"
"She has MS, Nate," Will said.
"MS?" Nate asked, shock spreading through his body. "Multiple sclerosis?"
"Yes." Cami crossed her arms, her hands gripping the sleeves of the t-shirt she wore.
His chest tightened as if it were in a vise. Nate fought to take a breath. "Is that why...she left?"
"Yes, it was."
"Why didn't she tell me?" His heart broke again as he imagined Lily dealing with this diagnosis all on her own. "Did you know?"
"None of us did. Not until she came back. That's when she told us." Cami came around the counter and slid an arm across his shoulders.
Weakened, Nate's head dropped forward as he tried to process this news. It wasn't because she hadn't loved him. It was so much worse. Right then, he wished it had been because she hadn't loved him anymore. At least that would have meant she was okay.
But why hadn't she told him? He would have been there for her. He'd already agreed to marry her, which would have been in sickness and health. Did she think he would have walked away when he found out? Surely she knew him better than that.
He felt Cami's arm slide from his shoulders and looked up. "How bad is it? I don't know anything about MS."
"None of us do," Will said. "We've all been trying to learn what we can about it. She's had almost three years to process and adapt to the news, it's going to take a while for the rest of us to catch up."
"The one thing she has told us is that it's very unpredictable," Cami added. "It could be years before she really experiences the more debilitating symptoms."
"Or it could be tomorrow?" Nate asked.
"Unfortunately, yes." Cami leaned against the counter, her expression pensive. "But it seems she knows what to look for and how to avoid situations that may exacerbate things. I think she's still recovering a bit from her trip here. It was long and draining on her."
Nate still couldn't believe what they'd revealed. "I wish she'd told me."
"She had her reasons for leaving and not telling any of us." Will sighed. "I can't say I agree with them completely, but it was her decision to make."
"We're just glad she's back home," Cami said.
Nate nodded his agreement. Home was where she needed to be while dealing with something like that. But what did he do with the knowledge? Did he confront her about it? Wait to see if she told him herself? "So what do I do now?"
"I told you just so you'd be aware. I don't think there's anything you need to do. She's still pretty set on the decisions she made three years ago being the right ones."
Nate knew Will was basically saying that she hadn't changed her mind about ending their engagement.
For now, he'd respect her decision as he had for the past three years, but having learned this news didn't change how he felt about her.
Until he'd heard the news, Nate had thought maybe his feelings for her weren't as strong as they'd once been.
But the shock of finding out about her diagnosis had ripped that illusion away.
He loved her as much now as he ever had.
Was it possible that she too still felt something for him?
The thought that it might be caused a spark of hope to flare to life.
He knew overt actions would likely cause her to retreat from him, but he could be subtle.
Show her that he was there for her. Show her she was not alone.
And maybe when she realized he wasn't going anywhere, she'd open her heart to him again.
~*~*~
When her alarm went off, Lily debated shutting it off, rolling over and going back to sleep.
The exhaustion that had plagued her in the days leading up to her departure from London had still not totally loosened its grip on her.
She'd had to stop working on Nate's invoices earlier because she'd recognized the fogginess overtaking her brain for what it was.
Though she'd basically come to terms with her diagnosis, she still got frustrated with the symptoms that prevented her from doing things the way she used to.
Moving slowly, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
She reached out to pick up the brush she'd set on the nightstand earlier and used it to smooth out the tangles from her nap.
After finishing, Lily sat for a minute, bracing herself for having to deal with Nate again.
Though her heart betrayed her by still feeling so strongly for him, it was times like this when the exhaustion and fogginess served to remind her why she'd ended things with him in the first place.
She wasn't the woman he'd fallen in love with.
No longer could she go for long hikes or stay up super late without having to pay the consequences for that at some point.
Such a large outlay of energy would require a time of recovery.
Sometimes an extended one. Occasionally she did it, but she'd learned early on that it was better to keep a balance between activity and rest or she risked a relapse.
The trip home had put her on the edge of one which was why she'd tried to keep her physical activity to a minimum and get rest when she could.
But for now, she needed to get herself onto her feet and down the stairs to eat dinner with the family.
And though she wasn't super hungry, she knew that she needed a good meal to give her body the fuel it needed.
As she left her room, she spotted Lance coming from his and Jessa's suite.
"How is she?" she asked as Lance joined her at the top of the stairs.
"Hanging in there." He held his arm out toward her.
Grateful that he didn't make a big deal out of helping her, she slid her hand into the crook of his elbow and put her other hand on the banister.
"I hear you've been helping Nate with his paperwork."
"Yes. I know he struggles with that, and it's something I can do without expending too much energy."
"I'm sure he appreciates it. I'm glad I don't have to take care of that side of things with my company."
Once she stepped off the last stair, Lily slid her hand from his arm. She really didn't want to walk into the kitchen looking like she needed help to put one foot in front of the other.
The kitchen was crowded with everyone there now, including their kids.
Though she tried not to, Lily couldn't keep herself from scanning the room for Nate.
She spotted him standing off to the side talking to Will.
When his gaze caught hers, he stopped talking and just stared at her for a moment.
He gave a little nod of his head then turned his attention back to Will.
Lily moved to stand against the wall for support, telling herself not to be disappointed by his quick acknowledgment and then dismissal of her.
It's what I want. Too bad her heart didn't agree.
Once Lance said a prayer for the meal, the parents moved toward the food on the counter to help the little ones load up their plates.
After the kids had been ushered outside to eat at the picnic table, things quieted and the adults were able to get their food.
Lily contemplated following them outside as well but had a feeling the day had only gotten hotter since she'd been out earlier with Cami.
Once she had food on her plate, she sat down at the table.
Amy slid onto the chair across from her. "I'm going to stay here and enjoy a little quiet. After spending the day with those kids, I need it."
Lily smiled as she took a sip of her water. "I can only imagine. Something like that would completely wear me out."
"You staying in here, babe?" Will asked as he brought over his plate filled with food.
"Yeah, I was just telling Lily I'm gonna let the parents deal with their own kids for a while."
Lily was relieved when she saw Nate follow Matt out the back door. "I'm staying inside because heat doesn't really agree with me anymore."
Will settled into the chair next to Amy. "What happens if you are out in the heat?"
"It can trigger a flare-up of my symptoms if it's too intense. The big things for me are stress, getting overtired and heat."
"So I guess you're going to love winters now," Will said as he stabbed at a carrot on his plate.
"Love might be stretching it, but I'll definitely enjoy them more."
Lily ate some of the salad she'd taken, noticing as she did that Amy elbowed Will and gave him a look.
Will cleared his throat and took a drink from his cup. "Uh, I guess I should let you know that I told Nate about your MS."