CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lily set her phone down on the bed and took a deep breath. Having realized several days ago that Nate was avoiding her, she hadn't known how else to get hold of him. She had thought about just waiting up for him one night to try to talk to him. But something still held her back.
Three years was a long time to be apart, and she knew that they had both changed.
She was no longer the young girl who had relied on him for so much.
Even her wanting to get a car was a sign of how she'd changed.
Back then, he'd driven her most places she'd needed to go.
She'd just arranged her life around when he was available to take her. If she did have to go somewhere when he hadn’t been available, she'd driven Gran's old car or borrowed Jessa's. She hadn’t even bothered to buy a car even though she could have afforded one.
He had been her world, but three years without him had taught her to fend for herself and to grow up.
Nate had always been reserved. Most of the girlfriends Lily had back then teased her about picking the boring boy to date.
None had realized that to her, he was anything but.
When it was just the two of them or if they were with his parents, they’d had fun.
They liked the same kind of movies and television shows.
They'd loved to watch B-movies and see who could figure out the plot twists before they happened.
Or watch horror movies and try to guess the order people were going to stupidly die.
She’d love the times they’d sat around the fire pit in his parents’ backyard roasting marshmallows.
Nate had always done hers, taking the time to make sure it was roasted to golden perfection before making her a s’more.
Though she knew she wasn’t high on his priority list, when he did have time, he was there focused on her.
It was those moments that had kept her with him, hoping that in years to come, they would become the norm rather than the exception.
Lily had loved that though Nate rarely smiled around others, when he saw her, he always had. Their gazes could meet across a distance and he would always...always...smile at her. Even if it was just a quick lift of one corner of his mouth.
Ending things with him had devastated her because she knew that no one else would ever know her heart the way he did.
They’d had a connection she wouldn't—and didn't want—to share with any other man.
But before she could be completely at peace about asking for a second chance, Lily needed to know that he knew what she did about her diagnosis and made any decision with that knowledge.
She pushed to her feet, wishing she had the time to redo her hair and make-up, but she was lucky she had enough time to change. Knowing the day was warm, Lily chose an outfit that would keep her cool. She settled on a turquoise sleeveless shirtwaist dress with a slightly flared skirt.
After smoothing her hair with her brush, Lily sat on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on.
She'd chosen a pair of white gladiator-style sandals that fit tightly to her feet and ankles.
Gone were the days of loose fitting sandals or even flip-flops for any place but home.
Any shoe she wore now had to fit securely in case she didn't lift her foot enough.
She picked up a bottle of perfume from the nightstand and dabbed a little on her wrists. It was the same scent she'd worn for years. It had also been Nate's favorite. She had no idea what he would think of the subtle_or perhaps not so subtle_way she was acknowledging their past.
Lily went to the open door of Jessa and Lance's suite and peeked in. "Hey, Jessa, can I borrow your car?"
Jessa looked up from where she was nursing the baby. "My car? Sure." She tilted her head. "You look very pretty. What's the occasion?"
Lily took a quick breath. "I'm meeting Nate to look at cars."
Her sister's eyes widened. "Do you think that's such a good idea?"
"I need to get us back to at least being friends before I can ask more of him."
A small smile curved Jessa's lips. "You think you might get back together?"
Lily shrugged. "I'm not sure if I've left it too late with him. We'll see."
"I'll be praying for both of you." She gave her a wider smile. "My keys are on the hook in the kitchen."
Lily walked to where Jessa sat, pressed a kiss to her cheek and gently touched the baby's head. "See you later."
~*~*~
"Think your girl's here," Rod said.
"She's not my girl," Nate ground out before turning to see that indeed, it was Lily headed in their direction.
She moved gracefully toward them, her auburn hair glinting in the bright sunlight.
Recalling what he'd read about heat affecting those with MS, he hoped the day wouldn't be too much for her.
He hadn't even thought to check the weather to see how hot it would be.
"Hi," Lily said with a smile as she reached them.
"Lily, this is Rod Winters. Rod, this is Lily Collingsworth."
They shook hands and then Rod said, "So Nate mentioned you're looking for a smaller SUV?"
"Yes. A cross-over, I think they call them."
Rod nodded. "We've got a couple of them on the lot you can test drive."
Nate walked beside Lily as Rod headed toward a row of parked cars.
For the next fifteen minutes, he listened as Lily asked questions--informed ones--about the vehicles Rod showed her.
Nate wasn't even sure why she had wanted him there.
In the past, she would have left all of this kind of stuff up to him.
In fact, if she'd wanted a car when they were engaged, he would have just bought it and given it to her.
She wouldn't have cared about much more than how it looked.
Today she was asking about safety records and mileage.
Just one more example of how she didn't need him anymore.
"What do you think? Nate?"
Pulling his thoughts back to the matter at hand, Nate focused on Lily. "Rod has done a pretty good job with the pros and cons and answering the questions you had. I think it all comes down to which cons you can live with and which pros you can't."
Her brow furrowed for a second before she nodded. He saw uncertainty cross her face as she clutched the strap of her purse. Maybe this wasn't as easy for her as he'd thought. She had clearly done her homework, but when push came to shove, she still didn't trust her own judgment.
Nate glanced at his friend. "Can you give us a few minutes, Rod?"
"Sure thing, buddy." He jerked his head toward the building. "I'll be inside if you need me."
As the man walked away, Nate turned to Lily. "Let's go sit in my truck and talk about it. It's getting a bit warm."
Lily nodded and walked beside him to the truck. He opened the door for her and watched as she pulled herself up onto the seat. He would have loved to help her, but wasn't about to put himself in the position of being slapped down again.
After getting behind the wheel, he started it up and cranked the air conditioning. It didn't take long for cold air to begin to stream from the vents.
"Okay, so what are you feeling about what Rod showed you? Do any of them interest you or would you rather look at a few other places?"
Lily let out a sigh. "I feel like if I give myself too many options, I'll never be able to make a decision."
Nate nodded. "It sounds like you've done some research though. Out of all that, before talking to Rod, which was the one that appealed to you most?"
Lily told him. "It seemed the safest. And I did actually like how it looked."
"Rod's not a dealer for that line of vehicles, so we'll have to go to another dealership. There's one on the south side of town. I know a guy who works there, too. I'll call to see if they have any in stock for you to test drive."
It didn't take long for him to confirm that they did, so he let them know they'd be there in a few minutes. "Let me just go tell Rod."
"I'm sorry to have wasted his time."
"Don't worry about it. That's the life of a salesman. He understands."
After letting Rod know, Nate headed back, his steps faltering a bit when he saw Lily standing outside the truck.
"I'll just follow you," Lily said as he reached her.
Nate gave a shake of his head. "Get back in the truck. I'll drive you there and then bring you back here."
She hesitated but when Nate opened the door and gave her a determined look, she climbed in without argument.
"Thank you again for helping me," Lily said as he drove the car out onto Main Street.
"Well, I owed you for all the bookkeeping you did for me. I'm happy to be able to return the favor."
"I hope I'm not premature in buying a car, but I saw the doctor this week, and he said I'm fine to drive.
I will have to have some testing done before I go to renew my driver's license just to have it on file that I've been medically cleared to drive.
And then, from what I've read, I'll have to renew my license every year instead of every four years. "
Nate frowned. He hadn't even thought about how she would have to deal with getting a driver's license after being diagnosed with MS. "Well, I hope the tests go well so you are able to put your new car to good use."
Lily nodded. "I need to be able to get to the Twin Cities every once in a while without having to rely on someone taking me."
She should have been able to rely on him. But she'd never given him that chance.
Gripping the steering wheel, Nate tried to keep his thoughts from going in that direction. He was just surprised she was actually talking to him about this kind of stuff. "Do you think you'll have to go there frequently?"
"As long as things stay stable it should only be for the odd scan or trip to a specialist. But if things should start to decline, it could be more often."
"But would you be able to drive then?"
Lily was silent for a moment. "No, probably not."