Chapter Twenty #2
I hoped the smile I gave him didn’t look weird. I had missed him so desperately it hurt. “I missed you, too.” And then I was hugging him again because now I realized what an idiot I had been when I cut him out of my life. I might have cried a little on his stupid jacket, too.
Somehow the three of us managed to make it to Bean on Main.
I wasn’t surprised to see his uncle, Tate Frost, working behind the counter, either.
He beamed happily as he took our order, and then the three of us took our seats.
I tried not to gawk when Cole removed his jacket, loosened his tie, and exposed his neck.
I wanted to drag my tongue over his Adam’s apple.
Bite and suck hickeys into his skin like I once did.
Why was I still so obsessed with him? That was years ago. Why couldn’t I just move on? The tattoos he had were new, but they only added to his sexiness.
“Since Reed failed to introduce us...” Cole smile gave Zach a big smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “Cole Whitaker.” He held out his hand.
He shook it gently. “I know who you are. I’m Zachary Swan, but please call me Zach.”
“How did the two of you meet? Have you been together long?” Cole asked, his voice flat. Wait, he thought what?
Zach’s eyes went wide. “Oh, sweetie, we’re not a couple. We are friends. We’re roommates, and we dance together, but that’s about it. I am way too high-maintenance for Reed. And he’s not my type.”
“Pfft, lies.” I waved my hand at him and tried not to blush.
Tried not to stare at Cole as he watched me with questions in his eyes that I wasn’t ready to answer.
The hurt there was too much for me. My stomach was twisted with guilt, and tears swam in my eyes.
This was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have come here, and I certainly shouldn’t be having coffee with the man.
Zach picked up his phone and gasped. “Oh, would you look at that! I forgot I have a...thing. Must have slipped my mind.”
“You do not have a thing,” I hissed and reached for his arm when he stood. Zach grabbed his phone from the table and had the balls to wink at me. “I hate you so much right now.”
Zach blew me a kiss. “Love you, too, babe. Nice to meet you, Cole.” He waved as he hurried out of the café and left me alone with my biggest regret.
I looked up at Cole and found him staring at me with narrowed, furious eyes. “Good, now you can tell me why you just fucking left that day without saying goodbye. I thought we had something special. I thought you loved me.”
“Do I have to spell it out for you?” I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced away. “You were destined for this, Cole. You didn’t need me to stick around to ruin it. Or follow me to New York to just end up hating me for it later. You’re thriving here. This is what you were born to do.”
He barked out a laugh, but his eyes remained cold. It wasn’t a look I was used to seeing on him. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. What does that even mean? You look too skinny. You need to eat something.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I grunted, and when I looked back at him, those blue orbs were full of worry.
The waitress returned with our coffee and the enormous chocolate chip muffin Cole ordered, which he pushed in front of me.
It was huge, probably the size of two, and I wanted to smoosh it in his face.
But my stomach growled at the thought of some sort of sustenance.
It wasn’t like I didn’t want to eat; I was just very careful of what I put in my mouth.
I mostly ate a lot of vegetables these days to keep my figure lean.
I ripped off a piece and popped it into my mouth.
Tate was still an amazing cook and baker.
This thing was heavenly. It melted in my mouth.
“Was it horrible?” Cole whispered as he watched me.
I stared at him. “What?” Was he crazy?
“The sex. Was that why you left? I know I was inexperienced when it came to being with men, but I had never come so hard in my life, Reed. I think about it all the time.” His cheeks burned pink as he glanced down at the table.
My mouth dropped. “That’s not...” I sighed and took a sip of my coffee as I tried to find the right words to say.
“You threatened to give up everything you wanted. I couldn’t let you pick me over your dream.
You’re living the life that you always wanted now, and you look happy.
I’m incredibly proud of you. It doesn’t matter how much I love you.
I couldn’t let you do something that you would end up regretting. That I would regret for you.”
“But I lost you, Reed.” Cole’s eyes swam with tears. “We could have figured something out. We could have... Wait, did you just say that you love me?” He glanced around the coffee shop before he met my eyes again.
I flushed. “Yes.” I hadn’t meant to admit that to him again, but it was the truth.
Cole placed his hand on the table. “You still love me? Why didn’t you talk to me instead of leaving? We could have figured something out.”
“I already told you why.”
“That’s fucking great.”
I dropped my gaze to the table, terrified of the tears that were threatening to fall. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, even though I knew it wouldn’t change anything.
“Well, I’m so glad you’re sorry for breaking my heart instead of talking to me instead.
I was fucking heartbroken and depressed for months,” Cole told me.
When I looked up again, his chin trembled.
“That night we finally met in person, on the dock, when I scared you and you nearly fell into the water, I think I fell for you. You were everything I ever wanted.”
I snorted. “I was so tongue-tied. You were walking toward me, loosening your tie, and all I wanted to do was jump you.” I held his gaze as Cole’s eyes widened. “Please, you were hot as hell even back then.”
“Reed, could—”
“Oh my God, are you Cole Whitaker?” someone exclaimed, and then he was swarmed by a handful of fans asking for his autograph and selfies.
Cole was kind to them. He posed for pictures, signed everything they asked for, and I casually stood up to slip away.
This was who Cole was now. A huge star who didn’t have time for me.
My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. He deserved this after working so hard. He didn’t need me.
I slowly backed toward the door of the café as Cole nodded and smiled politely. He wouldn’t miss me. He was happy doing this. We could continue to wonder what might have been. What could have been. Only when he saw me trying to sneak out, he didn’t hesitate to move toward me and grab my arm.
“Please don’t run away again without saying goodbye,” Cole begged; his big hand wrapped around my wrist. “Come to the game tonight. My dads will be there. You can see the WAGs again.”
I noticed how he said dads. He loved Dean as much as his own father. “I shouldn’t.”
“Bring Zach if you want,” Cole suggested. “Please?”
I chewed on my lip as the crowd moved closer to us. “Can I think about it?”
“I can leave the tickets at the box office.” He leaned closer. “I hope you come, Reed.”
I nodded. “Sure.” But I had no intention of showing up.