9. Tucker
Chapter 9
Tucker
I survived over ten years without seeing Bex’s face, but now that she was back in my life, spending forty-eight hours apart felt like I was dying inside.
She wasn’t the only one emotionally drained from our time spent in the cellar. After Aspen sent me away, I crashed hard. Slept for eighteen hours straight, still in my clothes.
The next day, I couldn’t shake my restlessness and was practically climbing the walls. I had no idea where I stood with Bex or if my confession had any impact on her.
I wasn’t na?ve enough to believe we could pick up where we’d left off. Too much had happened. Too much time had passed.
And it was never far from my mind that she’d moved on and was with someone else. It sat like a rock in my gut that she might actually love the guy, no matter what Mac or Aspen thought.
I’d pressed her hard for an answer, but she’d avoided the question, changing the subject. I couldn’t read too much into it. She didn’t owe me anything. Not after what I’d done .
All I wanted was for her to be happy. Even if it killed me to know it probably wouldn’t be with me.
It was only a small comfort to know that, after this week, I wouldn’t have to watch on as she—maybe—built a life with another man. Because that meant she was leaving again, and I was pretty sure it would break me when she did, knowing she would likely never return.
These were my final days with Bex, and I was determined to enjoy them, to savor them so that I could add them to the collection of memories I clung to from when we’d been happy and in love.
It was strange spending so much time on Sullivan Ranch. As a teen, it had been my primary hangout with Bex being an honorary Sullivan. Most of our summer days were spent on horseback, enjoying the quiet country life we’d been born into.
After everything fell apart and I became public enemy number one in Aspen’s eyes, I’d steered clear of this property. It was far enough outside of town that even on my few trips home before moving back for good, it had been easy to avoid.
Becoming friends with Mac changed the terms of my exile. Aspen still gave me the cold shoulder. Rightfully so, but she managed to tolerate me more once Mac forced her to listen to the hell Brooke had put me—and, by extension, her best friend—through.
Every now and then, I’d be invited out to enjoy a glass of Macallan scotch, Mac’s namesake, while we kicked back and relaxed after a long week at work—or, in Mac’s case, training .
Now, it was wedding central. Most of the events during the week-long lead-up to the couple’s nuptials were set to take place on this stunning piece of land, including the actual ceremony.
This afternoon, the wedding party would be making a trek across the massive acreage on horseback toward where Mac and Aspen were building their new house. We were set to have dinner made over a campfire and sleep out under the stars.
In a sense, we were paying homage to our roots when our ancestors settled on this land over a century and a half ago and had to start from scratch on an uninhabited piece of land. But those closest to the soon-to-be newlywed couple knew it ran deeper. Being out under the stars was special to them, and they wanted to incorporate that into their celebration.
Parking beside the barn, I hopped out of my truck and hustled my ass to where I saw Colt preparing to lay his giant paws on Bex’s waist. He was set to give her a boost onto the saddle strapped to the chestnut brown mare Jett had “gifted” to her on her sixteenth birthday, named Chocolate Chip.
Over my dead body was he touching my girl.
She’s not your girl anymore. Hasn’t been for a very long time.
A rough clearing of my throat had Colt’s head snapping up, and the glare I shot him was enough to have the cowboy backing away, hands up with a nod of acknowledgment.
Bex had one foot in the stirrup, her uncasted hand outstretched just shy of gripping the pommel. Peeking over her shoulder, she called out, “Colt?”
An adorable little crease formed between her brows when she saw him walking back toward his wife, seated on a UTV loaded with all the supplies we needed for an overnight stay on the open range.
Lips turning down, Bex muttered under her breath, “How the hell am I supposed to get on now with only one good hand? ”
My feet moved automatically, fingers twitching right before they landed on the smooth stretch of skin where her shirt had ridden up.
Bex sucked in a sharp breath, and I felt her shiver under my touch. Still facing forward, she whispered, “Tucker.”
My grip grew tighter on her hips. She knew it was me without even looking.
Pressing my luck, I closed the gap between us, bringing our bodies flush. When she didn’t pull away, my eyes slid closed, and I pressed my nose to her hair, breathing in her scent. For the past decade, every time I caught even the tiniest whiff of lavender, it made me think of her.
In my darkest days, I never thought I’d set eyes on Bex again, let alone touch her like this. My arms banded around her waist, holding on for dear life, afraid that if I let her go, she’d vanish and I would wake up to find this all to have been a dream.
The tiniest of sighs sounded from her lips, and she melted into my embrace. Could she feel this connection too? Was there a chance we could fix all that had been broken now that she knew the truth?
Lost in the moment, I didn’t realize Mac had snuck up on us until his hand landed on my shoulder, and I about damn near jumped out of my skin. That sudden jolt broke whatever spell had been cast over Bex, and an elbow connected with my ribs, forcing the air from my lungs.
Stumbling back, I narrowed my eyes on Mac, making my displeasure known.
Low enough that Bex couldn’t hear, he apologized, “Sorry, man. But we’ve gotta get moving if we’re gonna make it over the ridge before sunset.”
“Mac, I need a hand,” Bex huffed, hopping on one foot, trying to shove off the ground and lift onto the saddle.
“I’m sure Tucker can help you.” He tossed me a wink .
Her eye roll was audible when she said, “Tucker had his chance. Now, I’m askin’ you.”
Mac cringed, offering me a shrug. “I hate to say it, but she does have a point.”
A rumble sounded from my chest when he stepped forward, placing his hands on her waist as he gave her a boost. Like with Colt, I knew Mac had no feelings toward Bex, but watching him touch her unlocked something possessive inside me.
I wasn’t the jealous type. I’d never had cause to be.
Bex had been mine, and everyone in Rust Canyon knew it.
She was still mine. Time, distance, new lovers. . . None of that changed the truth.
She still owned my heart, even if I didn’t own hers anymore.
Mac stepped back once he was sure Bex was properly seated atop Chocolate Chip. Nudging my shoulder with his, he teased, “Time to saddle up and play cowboy for the day.”
Tipping his hat with a cheeky grin, he strode toward his own horse, mounting it with a practiced ease you wouldn’t expect from a guy who’d only learned to ride a couple of years ago.
Tripp called my name, and I turned to find he held the reins to his horse, along with those of a second one for me. I thanked him, climbing into the saddle and shifting my weight until I was seated comfortably for the ride.
But any hope of comfort went right out the window when I realized I would be riding behind Bex all afternoon. Her long brown hair hung in loose waves down her back, stopping right above where the denim of her jeans was stretched tight over her rounded ass, her hips rolling in time with the steady cadence of Chocolate Chip’s steps. Cock swelling to life behind my fly, every bump in the trail had me wincing .
The pain I experienced didn’t hold a candle to all I’d caused her over the years, so I decided to harness it, letting it fuel my fire as determination set in.
I was going to fight for her.
It was the golden hour when the bare bones of Mac and Aspen’s new home could be spotted on the horizon. The frame was set, but there were not yet walls or a roof to enclose the structure.
Colt and Harper beat us to the site—having traveled ahead on the UTV—and had already started a fire. They wouldn’t be spending the night with an infant in tow, but they still came to enjoy the evening amongst friends.
When we dismounted, the men began setting up the tents while the women unloaded the food and began preparing for dinner.
There were only two tents—one for Tripp and me to share, the other for Bex and Penny—as Mac explained that he and Aspen would be sleeping out in the open air. Mac had grown up in the city, where light pollution obscured the true beauty of the night sky, and during his first trip to the country, he’d become obsessed with stargazing.
Couldn’t say I blamed him. My time in Baltimore made me realize how many things about my home I’d taken for granted, the brilliant nightly display above our heads being one of them.
My mind wandered as I slid flexible poles through canvas loops, working to construct the tent the girls would sleep in .
My acceptance into pre-med at one of the top medical schools in the country was the first domino to fall in the collapse of my relationship with Bex. She’d been a sophomore when I was in my senior year, and I hadn’t wanted to leave her. I knew then that she was my forever, and I worried that the distance might tear us apart, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it.
I’d made my mind up to decline the offer, electing not to even share the news with my parents for fear they’d talk me into accepting. But it didn’t matter. When I told Bex, she decided I was going. End of story.
We’d argued about it for a week. I had half a dozen local admissions that would have put me only an hour or two away, so I could come home and visit easily on the weekends, but Bex wouldn’t hear of it. She made a case that if I wanted to be the best in my chosen field, I needed to learn from the best. She convinced me that our love was too strong to be weakened by a few years of intermittent separation.
The miles between us hadn’t been the final nail in the coffin, but our relationship had died in Baltimore, nonetheless.
My stomach rumbled when the smell of melting cheese infiltrated my nostrils.
Brushing my hands off on my jeans, I turned around to find a few pie irons set into the flames, their long handles resting on the rocks around the makeshift firepit.
I stepped toward a folding table, where the ingredients were set up, with Bex standing guard.
“What’ll it be?” she asked, gesturing to the neatly organized spread, a pie iron lying open, lined with two pieces of bread.
Saliva filled my mouth as I surveyed the options for various types of mountain pies, but there was only one clear choice. “Pizza with pepperoni, please. ”
A corner of her lips tipped up. “My favorite.”
“I remember,” I said softly.
Dropping her gaze, she sucked in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. “Tuck . . .”
Reaching across the table, I tipped her chin up. “Focus on the good memories.”
Her brown eyes grew glassy. “I wish it were that easy.”
“It can be,” I vowed.
A shake of her head had my hand falling away. Pushing too hard, too fast would scare her away, and I couldn’t have that, so I let it go. For now.
Silently, she spread pizza sauce on the slices of bread, layered mozzarella cheese and pepperoni on top, then closed and latched the iron. I thanked her before walking to the fire and setting it inside to cook.
But while I waited, I peeked back every so often to check on Bex, to make sure she was okay. I couldn’t turn off my need to protect her, even if I was the one who’d hurt her deeply.
Aspen sat down beside me. I spared her a glance, and in the firelight, her blue eyes were full of sadness. They spoke volumes about the regrets both of us had surrounding the events of the past.
“I know,” I whispered.
I about damn near fell out of my chair when her head dropped onto my shoulder, and she blew out a heavy breath. “I wish there was a way to fix this. The two of you deserve so much better than the hand you’ve been dealt.”
“She’s gotta let me in, Aspen. I can’t do anything if she keeps shutting me out.” I huffed out a wry laugh. “And she’s had a decade of practice, so she’s gotten really good at it.”
“You can’t blame her for being scared. She barely survived the first time you broke her heart. ”
My chest caved in, and a low groan born from agony sounded.
“It’s no secret I’m not your biggest fan, but I am hers. And I’ve never seen Bex happier than when the two of you were together. So that means I’m rooting for you, but so help me God, if you hurt her ever again . . .”
“You can save the death threats. I would lay my own life on the line before I caused her another ounce of pain.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that. She deserves the world.”
I hummed. “We’re in agreement on that.”
The weight on my shoulder lifted. “If you need any help, I’m your girl.”
Arching an eyebrow, I challenged, “No love lost for the new boyfriend?”
She scoffed at the mention of Bex’s new beau. “He’s not good enough for her.”
“But I am?” I was genuinely curious to hear her answer.
Aspen shrugged. “Maybe not, but at least you don’t treat her like she’s some box to check off on a list.”
Interesting.
I might have my work cut out for me when it came to winning back Bex, but the number of people on my side was growing, and I was no longer worried about the competition.