30. Jax
Chapter 30
Jax
We walked home in silence, hand in hand, Helen looking lost in thought.
“Sorry,” she said as we stepped into the house. “I’m emotionally exhausted.”
“Tonight was a lot. He’s your son. You’re bound to be emotional.” I hugged her, feeling her body sag into mine, as if her overwhelm was dissolving. “You want me to run you a bath?”
Helen shook her head against my chest. “No, can we go to bed? I promise I won’t touch you, but I want you to touch me… if you want.”
I kissed the top of her head. “I want.”
Upstairs, I flicked on a single lamp in Helen’s room so the light was low as she undid her belt, letting it fall to the side. She then pulled her dress up over her head, discarding that as well.
“And the rest,” I instructed, and Helen took her underwear and shoes off too.
“I get how hard it must be for you,” I told her as I skimmed my fingers along her collarbone and down her arm. “I’d go mad if you told me I couldn’t touch a part of you. If I couldn’t sink my fingers into your pussy or suck on your clit.” My fingers circled her nipple as Helen groaned.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” she said breathlessly. “I was being selfish. You have your reasons, but I won’t lie. I think I’m slightly obsessed with the thought of touching you or how you’d taste when you came in my mouth.”
I swallowed down my pain and let my fingers trace her hips and the curve of her stomach, committing her perfect body to memory.
“Get on your knees, beautiful.”
Helen’s eyes widened. “Please don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with,” she whispered.
I began to unbutton my shirt, pulling it out from my jeans, but leaving it on. Helen grabbed a pillow from the bed, throwing it down before she lowered herself onto it.
Despite my nerves, my cock throbbed painfully at how beautifully submissive my girl looked, naked, and knelt at my feet.
“I’ve never had someone’s mouth on me. Not ever. I’ve never wanted it, but I want to try for you, Helen. I really do, but I’m scared.” I unfastened my jeans and let them fall to the floor.
“Of me?” Her chest heaved as she spoke.
“No. Of what you’ll think of me.”
“Jax,” she cried, but I shook my head.
“You have no idea, beautiful. My past left scars and I can’t hide them.”
“I don’t want you to hide any part of you.”
I knew differently. I knew the minute she knew the truth, she’d want me gone. My dad was right when he told me again and again that my shame was written in my body and I was about to rip out my darkness and show it to her.
“Jax?”
“Put your fingers inside yourself. Show me how wet you are.”
Helen gasped, licking her lips as if she wasn’t sure.
“I just want your mouth on me, so we need something for your hands to do. I want you to touch yourself. I want to watch you touch yourself.”
Helen chewed her lip nervously, before lifting off her heels, widening her thighs and slowly slipping a finger through her folds. “I’ve never done this,” she muttered, the blush spreading across her cheeks visible, even in the low light of the room.
Her eyes closed and her other hand pressed into her thigh as she pushed up inside herself. I eased down my boxers, freeing the head of my cock that was throbbing with need.
“Let me see how wet you are?”
She pulled out her arousal-covered finger.
“Such a good girl.”
Helen’s body arched from my words, and she pushed her finger back inside herself.
“Can you add another one?”
She nodded, adding a second finger and fucking herself with them slowly.
“You look so hot like that. How does it feel?”
Her breath stuttered. “Better than the rabbit.”
I grunted out a laugh as I pulled my boxers down further, circling the base of my cock and cupping my sack as I stepped out of them completely, leaving me naked.
I tried to stay focused on Helen and not think about how exposed I was. “I want you to make yourself come, beautiful.” Helen’s attention lifted from where she’d been staring at the floor through hooded lids.
“Jax,” she cried as she took me in, standing in front of her without my underwear.
“Touch your clit with your other hand and open your mouth.” I stepped closer, my legs shaking with fear that any second now she was about to learn half my secret, but instead, her eyes stayed locked on mine.
“I’m a lot and I don’t want to choke you, so I’ll keep my hand here because who knows if I’ll be able to keep any semblance of control when your lips are on me. If it’s too much, tap my thigh. You’re sure you want to do this.”
She parted her lips, saying yes without saying a word, as she fucked herself with her fingers and worked her clit.
Apprehensively, I pushed the head of my cock against her lips and Helen ran her tongue over it, lavishing the slit and the underside with attention that made my head spin as all my blood surged south.
“Ah fuck,” I cried, having to bury my fingers in her hair to keep myself upright. When my vision cleared, I looked down to find Helen’s lips stretched around my cock, her hips rocking as she chased her orgasm.
Her cries were muffled as she came, and as her chest heaved, she turned her full attention to me, hollowing her cheeks and sucking hard, taking me deeper than I thought she’d be able to.
My body shook, my heart beating so hard I couldn’t hear anything else, my orgasm dangerously close to the edge, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. Helen’s mouth made me feel like a god, her tongue worshiping at the altar of my pleasure. The only problem was, I knew that one false move and I would freefall into the fiery pits of hell.